One Year Later
"Dad's and donuts? Course buddy, I'd be honored!" El exclaimed with a bright smile.
Noah exhaled a sigh of relief and then threw his small frame at Elliot's large, sturdy one.
"I told you," Eli drawled dramatically, coming into the bedroom they shared, post shower with his tooth brush in his mouth.
"Told him what?" Emma asked, following him in with Liv trailing them.
"That dad would take him to his dads and donuts thing at school," Eli said, mouth full of toothpaste.
"Eli, go spit," Liv instructed with a laugh. "That's gross."
He laughed and made his way to the adjoining bathroom to finish his tooth brushing while Liv continued her thought.
"Well that's wonderful," she said warmly, sitting on his bed beside Noah. "Emmy, do you get to go too? You hadn't mentioned it?"
"Oh no it's just a boy thing," she said casually. "Like a sons thing."
"Are they doing the daddy/daughter dance this year?" Liv asked, immediately sensing hesitance in her girl's demeanor and feeling her boy stiffen beside her.
"No," she shrugged. "I mean maybe, but I hadn't heard anything about it yet," she answered, keeping her eyes on her brother in warning.
Liv shot her a skeptical look as Eli came out of the bathroom.
"Well make sure you let me know, baby. If you want Uncle Finn to take you like he usually does we'll need to get that on his calendar."
"Or dad can bring you," Eli said, dropping a kiss to her head, repeating the motion to the three on the lower bunk before climbing up to his bed.
"Totally up to you, Emma," El said, his eyes warm and his voice steady.
"Thank you, El," she whispered, moving over to kiss Noah's cheek.
"Be in in a minute, okay?" Liv said, and Emma nodded, making her way to her bedroom.
Both adults slowly shot the young boy between them a look.
Feigning a yawn, he dramatically fell back and started snoring lightly, making Eli cackle from the bunk above him.
"You boys," she laughed, leaning to kiss her son's cheek. "I love you both."
"Love you, mommy!"
"Love you, Liv," Eli said, leaning over his railing and giving her a sweet smile.
Blowing them both kisses, she made her way into Emma's room ahead of Elliot.
During the previous year, the Bensons and Stablers moved at a pace and settled in a routine that any family psychologist would've beamed with pride at.
They had their family meals and weekend sleepovers and, when the kids begged enough, midweek ones too.
They'd become a family in every sense of the word: movie nights, soccer practice and dance recitals; family vacations and sibling squabbles, and most important, more love than any of them had ever experienced.
Their pace was set by the older kids and directed by Eli, the only one left at home.
He and Noah became instant best friends and he, much like his brother and father, was wrapped around Emma's finger.
He and Liv had gotten close again, too, just like when he was small, but their new bond cemented on Kathy's anniversary.
"I wouldn't have survived this without you, Liv," he said to her late that night. She'd just got in from work and he couldn't sleep, so they sat at the counter and ate Oreos and milk.
While Eli and Liv bonded, Elliot slowly morphed into "dad without the title" for the Benson kids, though during their weekly therapy sessions the big kids had begun insisting that the truth me shared.
Therapy.
It had been a year and Elliot still went to therapy with his kids weekly while Liv joined every other.
Things were good, save for Dickie's unresolved anger that flared every once in a while at Eli's total acceptance, but overall the family was strong.
So strong, that just the night before Eli had dropped a bomb on his father.
"I think we should move in with Liv and the kids."
El raised a brow, almost choking on his dinner. "What?"
Rolling his eyes, Eli plopped down on the couch beside him.
"I don't know man… it's getting shittier to be away from them all week… and having Liv around is just nice," he sighed, pausing, "familiar- you know? Dad I just think it'd be good for us. Plus, I don't know how much more I can take watching the kids hearts break when we leave."
Elliot couldn't help but smile. He leaned forward and hugged his son tightly. "I love you dude."
He hugged him back. "I love you too so is that a yes?"
"I'll talk to Liv Friday after therapy, okay?"
"Okay… but we're staying there tomorrow right?"
El laughed. "Yes, why??"
"I like it there… feels safe," he shrugged. "Like I…" he trailed off.
"You what," El whispered, nudging him gently.
"Like uh… you know…"
El went silent for a little, letting his son work through his own difficult memories and thoughts before watching him shake his head.
"Never mind."
"Why don't we talk about this stuff in therapy, buddy?"
"So Dickie can scream at me? No thanks," he snorted, shaking his head.
"Well… what if just you and I went?"
"Maybe," he shrugged. "Let's get living together first," he winked.
El blinked rapidly, releasing he'd frozen in place outside of his boy's door.
"Shit," he mumbled to himself, shaking his head and padding down the hall towards Emma's room.
"Hey girl," he smiled, melting at the way she was snuggled up with her momma.
"Hey," she said shyly, holding her hand out to him.
Grasping it, he walked over slowly and laid on the opposite side of her, wrapping a strong arm around her and her mother and nuzzling her blonde, wavy hair.
"Y'know I love you?"
She blushed, nodding quickly.
"I love you, El," she whispered, voice muffled into her mother's chest.
"I love you" was so easy those days.
Eli was the first to drop it; to Noah and Emma before leaving for school ahead of them one day.
Liv melted into a puddle, and both littles rushed to say it back while she casually gave her "oldest" a big hug.
Emma's came next, two nights later after Elliot had tucked her into bed after she'd fallen asleep on the couch.
That night she'd accidentally let a "daddy" slip after the words, but he'd never tell her that.
Noah was last, but by far the sweetest.
"I really love you, El," he said one morning after a hilarious wrestling match in the living room that left both of them in a fit of uncontrollable laughter.
"I really love you, buddy."
When Emma's soft snores began to filled the room, Liv's quiet voice pulled him free of his thoughts.
"She's lying about the dance," she admitted. "Her teacher called me…"
"I'll talk to her about it tomorrow," El promised, stretching to kiss Olivia's head.
"Thank you, baby," she exhaled a soft sigh of relief.
"Bed?" He asked, running his knuckles over his cheek.
"Please," she nodded.
The following day, the six Stablers and Olivia sat inside their family therapist's office, much like they did on a regular basis.
"I think we need to talk about the D-bomb." Maureen said cautiously once everyone had settled in their spots.
Olivia held her breath.
She loved Elliot.
Elliot loved her and her kids.
But, there was a part of her that was still afraid.
"Livy… you uh… you said when we were okay with it, that you'd tell Emma the truth you know?" Mo said carefully, glancing to her sisters for help.
"And we have been," Katie nodded. "Okay with it that is."
"So I guess, what's the hold up?" Liz finished for them, leaning forward as Dickie sighed softly.
Eli shot him a glare and he sunk back into his seat, looking to the side.
Her eyes darted up to Dickie, who offered a weak shrug. "I love Emma. I'm still just…" he motioned haphazardly between her and his father.
Liv didn't know what to say; how to respond to the girls love and Dickie's hesitance.
What was the hold up? Revenge? Anger? Fear?
Despite her best efforts, she knew it was fear.
The fear of him leaving again.
The fear of not only having to clean up her own broken heart but her kid's too.
The fear that Emma would grow up with daddy issues that would last her the rest of her life.
The fear that this little family they had created over the past year would crumble and she'd not just lose him, but his kids too.
Eli. The "son" she'd already lost once and couldn't bare to lose again.
Liv had been rather during their therapy sessions; it was for them, not for her.
But that day, her resolve began to break.
Elliot read her like a book.
He always did.
Standing slowly, he made his way over to his girlfriend and dropped to his knees between her legs, settling his arms in her legs and grasping her hands.
"Olivia…. Look at me," he encouraged softly.
When she finally did, her eyes were wide and her breath was fast.
"Baby, breathe..." he instructed softly, standing up on his haunches and taking her face in his hands, encouraging deep breaths until her own returned to normal.
"Liv, baby," he said slowly, once her eyes met his. "I'm not going anywhere. I don't want to, baby. I want to be with you, Olivia. It's you and it always has been you," he said earnestly, ignoring Dickie's stare.
"And," he continued, "I wanna be a real dad to your kids, Liv. Both of them, not just Emma."
She nodded, but her tears began to fall anyways, quelling only when he gently began to brush them away with the pad of his thumb.
Looking towards the rest of his kids, she forced her tears away and blinked quickly.
"Y-you guys are ok with it? Really? All of you?" She emphasized, her gaze landing on Dickie who nodded in tune with his sisters.
Eli stood, moving to sit beside her and wrap his arms around her shoulders.
"Liv… you saved us. You're like a mom to us when you don't have to be and…" he sighed, "Em and Noh deserve to have a dad," he paused. "Especially when, to one of them, he kinda has to be."
Liv chuckled, scrubbing her tears away before wrapping her arms around the youngest Stabler.
"You're incredible, kid," she whispered proudly.
He smiled sweetly and blushed.
"And…" he said after a short pause. "I asked dad and he was going to talk to you but… I think we should all move in together."
The tears that came from her eyes next were different; relaxed and happy and relieved.
"What d'ya think?" El whispered, sliding his arm around her waist.
Breaking into a huge grin, she released the younger Elliot to hug the elder.
Dickie spoke next, surprising everyone with a light hearted tone and soft voice.
"This a good time to let everyone know that Noah accidentally called Dad "dad" to me the other day and then had a lil meltdown from embarrassment and told me to swear I wouldn't tell?"
Everyone laughed and Eli leaned back on the couch. "He tattles on himself; came in and told me right after you dropped him off."
The laughter continued as El and Liv looked at each other with smiles that stretched to their eyes.
Maybe they'd be alright after all.
After therapy, they picked the kids up from Amanda's and headed home.
The big kids were meeting them there for their weekly dinner, stopping for their usual post therapy drinks and to get the take-out while the parents gathered the littles.
In the car, Emma was unusually quiet so Eli gently prodded her in the back seat.
"Talk to me?" He whispered, but she just shrugged.
"I'm fine."
In the front, Liv glanced at El, slightly concerned.
He made prolonged eye contact with the younger boy via the rear view mirror while stopped at a red light.
Noah wouldn't look at him, keeping his eyes instead cast downward, far too suspiciously for his own liking.
The big kids were already at the apartment when the quad returned home.
They all watched, confused, as Emma beelined past the girls and into her bedroom after a halfhearted wave and hello.
Eli and Dickie immediately looked down at Noah who put his hands in the air in mock surrender.
"She didn't tell me anything," he swore.
Dickie rolled his eyes. "She totally did- you two tell each other everything. What's wrong with her?"
"Yeah man it's a our job as her brothers to protect her and we can't do that unless we know what's going on," Eli chimed in.
Noah almost broke at the brother term, but held strong despite Eli's best effort.
"She asked me not to say anything." He said firmly, crossing his arms.
Liv and El glanced at each other, sharing a smile at the conversation and the boys in big brother mode, but still feeling a tinge of concern for their baby girl.
Lizzie walked over to the curly-haired boy and put her hands on his shoulders.
"He's doing the right thing. She asked him not to tell and he's respecting that. Unlike someone here." She finished dramatically with a look towards Dick, who simply rolled his eyes.
"Oh my god, Elizabeth, we were 10 get over it!"
Everyone laughed and Katie, ever the reasonable one, bent down in front of Noah.
"Buddy…Is she in trouble or hurt?"
He shook his head. "Just sad about…" he trailed off.
Dickie looked at him as if to say "about?"
Mo put her hand on her sister's shoulder, stopping her next question in its tracks.
"How about we go talk to her… sounds like she just needs some big sister time."
"Agreed," Liz nodded quickly, leading the pair swiftly to Emma's bedroom two doors off the kitchen, leaving a confused Noah to look towards the remaining crew with his impeccable comedic timing.
"I mean… I'm not complaining but did I miss something?" He asked with a brow raised.
They all laughed and El rounded the island, putting his hands on Noah's shoulders and directing him towards where the dishes were stored.
"We'll talk after dinner… help me set the table?"
The girls entered Emma's room without knocking, crawling into her bed and surrounding her without a second word. Looking over toward them, she tried desperately to hide her smile as Lizzie grinned in sync with her.
"Talk," Mo instructed, finally.
Emma sighed. "Didn't Noah tell you? He always spills to Eli at least."
They all shook their heads.
"He's loyal," Mo smiled.
"Dick even tried to get him with the big bro play," Katie added.
"Talk to us… you know that you can't lie to your big sisters right?" Liz asked, wrapping her arms around her.
Emma smiled small and leaned into her. "It's stupid," she finally said softly.
Mo reached forward, gently playing with her hair. "It's not stupid if it's making you sad…"
She sighed softly and was quiet for a minute longer.
"We have a daddy daughter dance coming up and… I haven't told mom and…. Yeah, this girl was just being mean cause I don't have a dad and…" she trailed off as tears came to her eyes.
"Oh baby no…"
"Girls are jerks don't listen to them."
"Honey, ask daddy!" Liz exclaimed, earning hard looks from the rest of the gang before trying to recover quickly.
"O-or Dickie… they both love you. And Dad is so much like your daddy already so you know he would say yes if you asked him, babe!"
Sniffling, she looked down. "B-but what if he says no…" She asked as the tears started to fall.
"Oh, baby, he won't."
"He absolutely won't!"
"He wouldn't dream of it- he loves you so much," Maureen promised earnestly.
Tears rushed to her eyes again, but Mo quickly wiped them away.
"Just ask him," Katie prompted gently.
Nodding, and wrapped her small arms around the trio as best she could.
"I love you guys… I'm really lucky to have you.." she whispered, relaxing when all three pulled her close.
When they emerged from the room, the boys, Liv, and the spouses were sitting around the table.
Liv eyed them nervously, and Elliot came up behind her, placing a calming hand on her shoulder.
"We uh… we good?"
Emma nodded and walked over to her mom, hugging her and Elliot tightly.
They both exhaled relieved sighs, looking to the girls for desperate confirmation.
Mo nodded and Liz gave an enthusiastic thumbs up while Katie matched Eli's knowing gaze towards their dad.
"Whaaaat?!" Noah cried from where he was seated watching a game with Dickie.
After a successful and fun dinner, the big kids left and the littles and Eli helped clean up before heading off to get ready for bed.
Elliot was finishing in the kitchen when Emma was finished getting ready for bed, switching places with the boys in their shaded bathroom.
Eyeing him nervously from her bedroom door, she sucked in a deep breath and walked over to him.
Placing a small hand on his arm, she waited until he looked down to her with a smile.
"You okay?"
"Uh… yeah… can uh… i was wondering if you could put me to bed tonight?" She asked nervously.
"Of course, baby… come on." He nodded, taking her hand and walking with her to her pink and girly bedroom.
She crawled into bed, patting the spot next to her and smiling when he laid beside her and wrapped a protective arm around her.
With a deep breath, she finally looked up at him
"We um… we have a thing at school next month… it's a uh…"
He took note of how much she looked like live when she got nervous, and it made him subconsciously smile, eyes squinting as she fumbled through her words.
"It's a daddy daughter dance…" she whispered after a moment. "A-And I know you're not my dad but you're kinda like my dad and I just… the girls said if I asked you'd say yes b-but…" she started getting flustered a little, a rare moment for the strong little girl.
He smiled and sat up, pulling her into him in a tight hug. "I would love to take you, baby."
She breathed out a sigh of relief and relaxed into him with a smile.
Liv and the boys had been listening outside the door and Eli walked in.
"Told you," Noah drawled.
"Same," Eli said in a bored and sarcastic tone. "And okay… Can we just roll with the dad thing?" He asked, looking between Elliot and Liv.
Noah's head whipped up quickly towards his mom as Eli continued.
"I mean come on, dad. She's right you practically are their dad so let's rip off the bandaid."
He smiled at his son, wise beyond his years, and looked at Liv who took a deep breath before allowing a smile to break through.
With her nod of permission, El looked down at Emma and then over to Noah.
"Noah… Emma… do you want me to be your dad?"
Emma just smiled as tears came to her eyes and Noah nodded. "I mean duh, I thought that was pretty obvious," he said with a beaming smile, causing everyone to laugh.
Elliot grinned. "Well this is perfect, because I want to be your dad."
Noah tossed his arms in the air.
"YESSS!" He cried bouncing in circles before jumping up on the bed to hug him.
Eli spoke up again. "Also cause mom and dad take forever to do anything, they also agreed to us moving in together."
Both adult's heads whipped to Eli as he so casually referred to them as mom and dad.
Noah couldn't contain his excitement and he jumped up from Elliot's arms.
"REALLY!?" He all but screamed as Emma looked up at her father and smiled huge.
Liv laughed, sitting on the bed at Elliot's feet.
"Yes really…. But I think we need a bigger space?"
They all agreed, except Noah who shrugged.
"I mean I like sharing a room with Eli," he giggled.
"Wait…" Emma said, holding a hand up. They all looked at her, hearts smiling when, ever her mother's daughter, she asked:
"Are the big kids ok with this?"
Elliot smiled and kissed her head. "Yes baby they are."
"Okay, good," she smiled, settling back into his arms.
Elliot and Olivia retreated into their room after saying goodnight to their overly excited trio.
"Successful day," he whispered, dropping soft kisses to her lips.
Her arms wrapped around his waist and she smiled up at him. "I'd say so…"
"You're good right?" He asked cautiously.
She answered him with a kiss and he smiled. He was absolutely to deepen it when a soft knock interrupt them.
"Guys… can I come in?" Emma called timidly.
Smiling, Elliot pulled away from Liv and opened the door, his face dropping when he saw that the little girl had been crying, clearly since they'd left her.
"Hi baby… oh, baby, what's wrong?"
She walked in, leaning into him and letting her tears fall.
Frowning, he picked her up and settled into the large bed with her, hugging her tightly when she leaned into his chest.
Her soft sobs filled the room, calming finally when Liv rubbed small circles on her back and played with her hair.
"Emma talk to us…" Liv begged, once she calmed. "Baby, what's wrong…"
She sniffled more and Elliot pulled her all the way in his lap, rocking her until she calmed down enough to share her feelings.
"Talk to us baby… you can tell us anything…" he whispered and she nodded.
"I-I… I just I'm so happy that you're here and want to be my daddy because I never really knew what it was like to have one before you… I… I just…" her tears started to fall again. "Why didn't my real daddy love me and mommy enough to st-stay…"
His breath caught in his throat and his world started spinning. He stopped rocking her and just squeezed her a little tighter as his tears started threatening to fall.
She sensed the change in his demeanor and looked up at him, squinting slightly through her watery eyes.
He looked down at her and took a deep breath.
"I… I… baby I didn't…" he trailed off and her face relaxed a little bit. Everything suddenly made sense and she looked down starting to breath heavily.
He gently took hold of her face and their matching blue eyes met as big tear drops fell.
"Baby I didn't know… I didn't know and I'm so sorry Emma…" he said just above a whisper.