After her meeting with Pandora was finished, Lily simply returned to the Gryffindor common room in order to relax. The ordeal of feeling and almost being taken over by another witch's thoughts had been mentally and emotionally draining to the point where all she wanted to do was rest.
It had been a quiet period, however. As literally the only Gryffindor of her year who didn't take Care for Magical Creatures, there was neither conversation with her friends, nor the obnoxious banter of the Marauders to distract her. Which left her alone to stew in her own thoughts as the students from different years were all within their regularly scheduled classes.
"That was such an odd feeling…" Lily thought. "Pandora's thoughts felt like my own. Like her crush on Sev was one that I felt for myself."
Periodically, Lily would shake her head to keep the lingering memories from taking root in her mind again. It seemed like every time she dwelled for even a moment on Severus, she thought about that incredible aura that she knew Pandora could see on a nearly constant basis.
And who could blame Pandora for such thoughts? If Lily's recollection of her new friend's memories were what the younger girl's eyes could actually see, that aura was unlike anything beyond Lily's imagination. The fact that it came from her best friend only multiplied Lily's fascination with the memories.
"Everything about Sev seems like it changed that day at the lake. His attitude, his future priorities, even his body language. Now this aura that Pandora showed me which seems to have appeared at the same time. Merlin, it makes me feel even worse that I wasn't willing to step in more and stop him from getting hurt and humiliated." she thought regretfully.
"But you know why all of this has happened. Your best friend is in love with you."
That traitorous bit of knowledge returned to the forefront of Lily's mind as she frowned, losing herself within the soft crackling noise of the fire nearby.
"Is it even the right thing to do to try and put Severus and Pandora together? They match in so many ways, and she fancies him. At the same time, he's only ever had eyes for you…it might be a lost cause and break Pandora's heart. Sev's never been the sort of boy to be particularly focused on romance anyway. He'd probably be content to stay single his whole life and focus on potions and spell creation."
Lily shut her eyes, racking her brain to figure out what the best course of action would be. She wanted her friends, both old and new, to be happy and get out of this messy situation better than before. But was such a thing even possible?
As she had done so often before, Lily pointed her gaze upwards to the proud portrait of the Gryffindor lion, its warm colors of red and gold amplified by the flickering embers in the fireplace below it.
"I wish I knew what to do, Aslan. I don't want Sev to pine for me for the rest of his life when he's just not someone that I'm physically attracted to. He said that it's okay though, that he's fine with just remaining friends."
She sighed, turning her eyes towards the window. The sky was so blue with not a cloud to be seen. It was a beautiful day for O.W.L.s that took place outdoors. No doubt her friends were knee-deep in their Care for Magical Creatures practical.
"Bloody hell, Mary. I wouldn't even be worrying about this right now if you hadn't told me yesterday."
The nagging thoughts continued to itch at the back of Lily's head, and the silence within the common room gave no relief or distraction to occupy her attention.
"I could learn from Mary's example of what not to do. Maybe I just need to mind my own business and let whatever happens occur on its own. Just butt out of it, Lily." she told herself out loud with an affirming nod. She never was much of one for gossip anyway, so playing matchmaker with her best friend was even more of a surefire recipe for disaster.
During dinnertime in the Great Hall, Lily did her best to ignore the constant chatter of James Potter and the Marauders at the other end of the Gryffindor table. It wasn't an easy task, however. Apparently Sirius Black had gotten particularly friendly with the Hippogriff he had been assigned and rather than simply taking a quick flight around the Quidditch pitch, the pair had flown all the way past Hogsmeade.
"Never been that far north of Hogwarts before!" Sirius gave a hearty laugh to the younger students who were in awe of his exploits. "I think we made it all the way to Upper Hogsfield before I decided to turn her around back to the castle."
"That's an O for sure, Padfoot!" James said with a grin as he slapped the back of his friend in a show of solidarity. "Might as well have adopted the girl and taken her as a pet. You flew her almost as well as you do your Quidditch broom."
Lily rolled her eyes, trying to take her mind off of Quidditch. She wasn't opposed to the idea of trying out for Seeker as Marlene had requested, but it was an intimidating challenge to even make the team, let alone play against the other house teams. By her sixth year, virtually every player across all four houses will have had more experience than her.
"At least I won't have to deal with Potter's showboating since McGonagall banned him for the year." She thought with some relief as she tucked in to a lean piece of chicken breast, grilled to perfection.
"Alright, Lily, spill it." Marlene whispered after swallowing a mouthful of beef stew. "What happened yesterday with you and Snape? You missed most of the party and with the news going around, you clearly did something big with him."
"The news..?" Lily asked, completely oblivious to whatever her friend was talking about. "Sev and I didn't do anything other than have a conversation. What are you talking about, Mar?"
Mary joined in with the chatter, wide-eyed. "You mean you didn't hear, Lily? Everyone was buzzing about it once the Magical Creatures exams were over with. Severus and Evan Rosier had a duel in the Slytherin common room this morning."
"What?!" she gasped, the handle of her fork hitting her plate with a loud clatter. She knew that Severus was a talented wizard, but Evan Rosier was one not to be crossed; even the Marauders gave the Slytherin ringleader a wide berth unless they were together.
Immediately, her eyes scanned the Slytherin table, searching for any sign of her friend, fearing the worst. While Severus was nowhere to be found, there was a rather stark difference in the arrangement of the students. Avery, usually orbiting around Rosier at the center of the pack of particularly unpleasant students, was sitting alone at the edge of the table, taking nervous sips from his goblet.
Rosier himself was absent as well, though there was a very clear divide between Avery and many of the younger students who had once crowded around the gang of would-be Death Eaters.
"Apparently Snape confronted Rosier after storming into the common room. They argued about something before the duel began. The word is that Rosier got knocked out and sent to the Hospital Wing. " Marlene explained. "It's hard to get the story straight from the people that are talking. Whatever happened down there, some are terrified like that sniveling prat Avery. But then there's others…d'you know Svetlana Reyes? She's a Slytherin in our year. My old mate from before Hogwarts. We used to fly a lot together and…well, we just drifted apart after we got sorted."
Lily nodded in understanding. It was a common story for friends who got sorted into Gryffindor and Slytherin, even those that didn't aspire to become followers of Lord Voldemort. It very nearly happened to her and Severus, after all.
"She walked up to me after our O.W.L. and gave me a hug out of the blue. Hadn't spoken to each other since third year when we both made the Quidditch teams and the girl gave me a hug on the verge of tears."
"Don't act so casual about it, Marlene." Mary added with a knowing smirk. "She wasn't the only one that was about to cry from that hug."
"Oh shut it, Mary!" Marlene huffed with embarrassment before nearly diving into her bowl of stew once again.
Lily was taken aback by this revelation, curious as to what could have prompted Severus to make such a bold move. But with her best friend nowhere in sight, she couldn't ask him to confirm anything.
If he wasn't in the Hospital Wing with Rosier, why wasn't he eating in the Great Hall with everyone else? He wasn't in the Library earlier when she had been either.
Lily rounded the Grand Staircase as the steps zigzagged upwards to the third floor. Fortunately for her, the white marble steps were in a cooperative mood today. It was just as well; she wanted to avoid taking any detours or back staircases for fear of adding a dozen or more minutes to the trip. Tuesday wasn't her assigned night for Prefect patrols and she wanted to get plenty of sleep to be prepared for tomorrow's Astronomy O.W.L.s.
Once she arrived at the third floor, Lily took the hallway which led away from the ticking clock tower. There was one destination that she had in mind, and it wasn't the Gryffindor common room. She was heading towards where Severus had been staying.
Upon entering the private bedroom however, Lily noticed that the fireplace was no longer lit, nor were any of Severus' belongings anywhere to be found. All that remained was old furniture, a vacant bed, and the mirror she remembered seeing during her first year.
"Damn it, Sev…where'd you go?" She asked, hanging her head in defeat. He was most likely back in his Slytherin dormitory if he had vacated this refuge. Even a Prefect had no authority to enter another Hogwarts House's common room. That unfortunately meant that she couldn't have any answers from Severus regarding the morning duel until the following day.
As she moved towards the door in disappointment, she stopped momentarily once an unexpected and sudden temptation began to itch at her mind.
It had been over four years since Lily had looked into the reflection of that magical mirror. In her days as a first-year witch, she remembered the joy in her heart once she witnessed the reflection. It had been her with Petunia, happily reunited and all their petty grudges gone entirely as they embraced as sisters once again.
In the years since then, she and Petunia had only grown more distant, with the latter having little to offer during the summer holidays besides spiteful and nasty comments. And throughout it all, Lily still desperately wished that Petunia could find it within herself to make amends and stop treating her like she wasn't welcome back at home. She certainly dealt with that enough at Hogwarts from much nastier and more dangerous people than her sister.
"Mirror mirror near that wall, show me what I want most of all." Lily said with a mischievous grin as she turned back towards the ancient artifact. She took a nervous breath and stepped in front of it, hoping to see her sister and herself happy and together again.
What the redheaded witch saw was far from her expectations. It was certainly someone older standing by her side, but it wasn't her sister. It looked like…
"Sev..?"
Indeed, it resembled Severus, but at the same time, he seemed different. A few years older, perhaps, likely freshly graduated from Hogwarts. More to the point, his appearance had cleaned up considerably. His hair, while still long, had been neatly trimmed down to just above his shoulders. There was a bit of stubble beginning to grow on his face, the promise of more dignified facial hair to come. His skin, still pale, but just a touch more tan and much healthier in its complexion. And while he was still slim, he was much more grown into his own body, like his parents had finally begun to pay attention to him and not neglect his food intake.
Lily couldn't deny that her best friend looked quite handsome now that she saw him older and more taken care of. There were also signs of something even more important than his physical appearance. His expressions had always been muted and subdued, but having known him for so long, she knew what a content and happy Severus looked like and this was certainly it.
Nowhere was that more evident than the blazing, blue aura radiating off of his body. It was visible and vibrant; she could see it with her own eyes as clearly as Pandora could. Almost as if a sea of bluebell flames were harmlessly bathing his taller, bigger frame in their wondrous glow.
"My gosh…it's brilliant." Lily gasped in awe as the azure flames danced around his body.
She recalled her time spent in Pandora's memories, effortlessly recalling those extraordinary auras that the younger witch had seen. The violet aurora of sorrow. The green sea of desire and ambition. What did this aura of blue fire represent..?
Somewhere in the back of Lily's subconscious, the lingering sensations from her time thinking like Pandora gave her an answer. Blue represented resolve and belief in oneself. It was a sign of confidence and value in one's own life and happiness.
"Something that Sev very clearly lacks…" she thought with a frown.
It was one of his greatest character flaws, and while he certainly walked with more confidence than before, there was something almost reckless and uncaring in that stride. Combine that with the way he spoke, it was evident that her best friend cared very little for his own well-being.
"You're not a damned tool, Sev…you matter just as much as any other wizard or witch in this school. Even a knight takes care of himself." she whispered softly, losing herself in those eyes of blackened steel within the reflection.
Tearing her gaze away from this ideal form of Severus, Lily took a moment to ponder its meaning with a question that slipped her mind when she was previously fascinated by the reflection.
"Why am I seeing Sev and not Tuney..?" She asked with a curious tilt of her head.
Unsuccessful in her search for Severus, Lily nonetheless headed back towards Gryffindor Tower lost in her own thoughts.
"I guess it's because I want him to be happy. I want him to live a life that he doesn't look back on with any sadness or regret. Hopefully I can be the kind of friend he needs to make that happen this time."
Lily hoped with all of her heart that the following afternoon during the promised meetup with Severus and the girls would be a good first step towards that goal...
Author's Note: Upper Hogsfield?! A female Slytherin Quidditch enthusiast with the surname of Reyes? Clearly someone's binged way too much Hogwarts Legacy, eh?
Given all that's happened in such a short length of time, I thought it would be a good idea to devote a chapter to Lily's thoughts. Between all of Severus' changes that she as of yet does not understand the meaning of, combined with her brief experience almost living within the mind of Pandora, there's a lot for our young Gryffindor girl to get straight.
But now that Severus has vacated his private chambers (and apparently disappeared within the Slytherin dorms without showing his face for dinner), it was time for Lily to take her own look at the Mirror of Erised. What in Merlin's name does it all mean? Is it just the sincere hope for her friend's quality of life to improve dramatically? Or is it perhaps something...more? Something that even Lily herself isn't consciously aware of but might have jarred loose from walking a very brief mile in Pandora's shoes? Who can say for certain?
As always, thank you for the reviews and please keep them coming! I know I echo this sentiment every time, but the words of feedback from my audience really keep the motivation to continue alive.