Chapter 5.
The next day I called Randi and told her everything that happened, including the kiss, and I told her about a decision I couldn't take by myself, I wanted to quit my job, she told me to calm down and also told me I must go on with my life.
"Look, this isn't the end of the world" she said, but she was wrong, it was the end of my world.
"It's not that simple" I said.
"Yes it is" she said "it's a simple decision, do you want to move on or not?"
"Of course I want to move on, continue with my life, but it's gonna be so hard to see him everyday" I cried.
"No one said it was gonna be easy" she said "but you have to find the strength to live with it"
"Thanks Randi" I said softly "you always know what to say to make everything ok"
"That's my job" she laughed "bye sweetie"
"Bye" I said hanging up the phone.
I got dressed and went to work decided not to let this affect me, when I entered to the store he wasn't there yet, I put on my vest and went to the cash register, as usual, and I stood there staring at the door and waiting for someone that never showed up, it was eight pm so I went home, I wasn't in the mood to do anything so I sprawled on the couch and fall asleep immediately.
"Michael, are you there?" a voice followed by three knocks on the door waked me up, 'what time is it?' I thought, I stumbled to the door and opened it.
It was dark outside so probably I didn't sleep for too long, he was standing there, right outside my door, staring at me and I couldn't move; I was frozen.
"Can I come in?" he asked.
"Sure, come in" I said walking to the fridge "Do you want a beer?"
"Ok" he said sitting on the couch.
I grabbed two beer cans from the fridge and went to the living room hoping this was a dream.
"Aren't you gonna sit?" he asked giving me a weird look.
"I rather to be stand" I said asking myself what to do.
"Well, here's the thing" he said unexpectedly "I came here to apologize"
"There's nothing to apologize" I said staring at the ceiling.
"But anyway, I need to get this off of my chest" he said.
"C'mon Nathan, we're not children anymore" I said "what happened yesterday was a mistake but I've already forgot it"
"Maybe you've forgot it but I don't" he said "so I can't be around you, it's too hard"
I froze again, it felt like every inch of my body was made of stone, I didn't know what to expect when I saw him outside but definitely this wasn't it, I stood there while my mind was trying to believe this was a dream, he stood up and walked towards me, I was still frozen, he kept getting closer until he could grab my hand and took away the beer can I was holding throwing it away, my hands began to sweat, he pulled me close to him and reached his lips to my ear and whispered.
"Don't be scared"
I felt his warm breath on my ear and I felt a shiver running through my whole body, he stepped back and I automatically pressed his hands still grabbing mines, he looked at me and smiled, then he leaned to me and our lips barely touched making me gasp desperately for air, he let go a little laughter and pressed his lips hardly against mine, we kissed again and I felt like everything was right at that moment, but a tiny part of me felt guilty because I knew he had a couple, and on the exact moment I doubted I felt him disappearing from my arms, he was gone immediately, I ran to the door to try to catch him but he wasn't there, I ran through the woods in front of my house screaming his name, trying to reach something that I couldn't catch, after a while I didn't know what I was looking for, and then I realized that there was nothing to pursue, there was nothing out there, just me, there was nothing, everything lost it's sense and I stopped running, I stood still and then I sat on the ground, I couldn't see a thing, there was nothing to guide me, I was more alone that ever, the cold hit me suddenly and I grabbed my legs with my arms to control the shivering of my body, I laid on the ground to make it easier to control myself, and I turned to my left when I felt the floor disappearing.
I fell from the couch hitting myself with the edge of my coffee table, I opened my eyes and realized it was all a dream, it was all a nightmare, I ran to my bedroom and crawled into my bed closing my eyes and wishing for a calmed night.