So, you want Ed as your bishi? Well, girl, you got yourself a challenge! Ed is most frequently known as bishi of the week/month and is the hero/main bishi of Full Metal Alchemist. Naturally, at least half of all the FMA fangirls in the world are Ed fangirls.
Basic Information:
Name: Edward Elric (also responds as Ed, Edo-kun, the Fullmetal Alchemist, Brother, Nii-san, and any way to call him short)
Age: 16
Born: February 3rd, 1899
Dies: In such a sad tragic way. -sob-
Height: Not to be mentioned.
Weight: More then it seems.
Likes: Alchemy, martial arts, his brother in a non-yaoi way, other things that the author can't remember...
Dislikes: Being called short, milk, fangirls, Roy Mustang (partially), Hohenhiem, Envy and the rest of the homunculi, a number of other things the author can't remember at the moment...again...
Family: Trisha- mother, Hohenhiem- Father, Alphonse and Envy- Brothers Dante- ...distant...step-mom??? Half-mom???
Fangirls claimed by: Ayumi (Arumatsu) Elric, Sapphire (Delphine) Elric, MrsEdwardElric (Cathy), Chibi-Elric-Chan, Gothic Fangirl, Shadow Alchemist, (contact Full Metal Ayumi to claim a bishi!)
Current Status: Captured as of June 21st by Ayumi Elric. Sorry fangirls! -insert evil fangirl laugh-
Knowing Edward Elric:
Things you need to know about Edward Elric before you go to kidnap him:
The beloved character of Full Metal Alchemist, Ed is stubborn, making him difficult to catch (though not impossible). He's usually on his guard and has a nervous habit to run away from girls in fear that it's yet another fangirl. Not to fear, this can be easily solved through disguising as a guy.
Being close to his own brother, it is slightly recommended to also kidnap his littler brother, though that minimizes fangirl-ness if you don't particularly love Alphonse, and this will make the chance of escape increase.
Hypnosis is the best way of making sure that you have Ed for a long time, but using it makes awkward side effects occur. Being random and unpredictable; always be on your watch.
Preparation:
Being the most popular bishi (and the side note of being a prodigy), Edward is found to be tricky to fool. Be prepared to disguise your appearance when approaching, for fangirls are known to have mad, sparkly eyes, wild and/or hyper gestures and the case of drooling and stalking. Avoid all of these to assure capture of Ed.
Also refrain from wearing Ed or FMA cosplay, Risembool Ranger outfits, or any clothing that would make him assume you have indeed seen his show. This will make him nervous and bolt before real conversation is made.
Note that by doing anything to make your appearance seem radiant to catch his attention will make you mistaken for a Mary Sue, which will result in disgust from Edward and his immediate exit.
Always make sure you have the Full Metal Ayumi patented Edward Elric Fangirl kit with you.
Using bait:
This is recommended in capturing Edward Elric. Most suggested is the use of your Full Metal Alchemist VoiceChanger. Set the voice changer to Alphonse Elric and repeatedly call "Brother!" in a distressed tone. This will make Edward frantic and lure him closer to your trap.
For bait, you may also use the longer technique of spreading around rumors that the Philosopher's Stone is in your area/grasp. Though it takes longer, it's much more efficient. Edward will be drawn to you like a moth to a flame, and that's when you can capture him.
Another thing is using the option of using your little sister or brother. Ed has a weakness with smaller children. Have your little sister act cute to him and have them bond long enough for them to be close (this will remind him of Nina, meaning he'll be slightly distant at first). With a little brother, start a big dramatic act that your little brother is lost and ask for his help, or have your brother go to him and tell him that he's lost you. Ed would start acting like the hero as it is his nature and take up the task.
Capturing Edward Elric:
Actually capturing Edward Elric is tricky, seeing as he is a skilled alchemist. The quickest and easiest way to capture him is by surprising him, knocking him out with something vaguely heavy.
After he's unconscious, proceed to tie him up with a thick rope, or some heavy-set chains. Make sure you bind his hands and arms, as he can transmute without a transmutation circle. Carry him off in a non-obvious way (avoid the potato sack as it is overused and obvious) and make sure to fight all fangirl urges until after he's awakened.
Another way to get him is by swarming him; having at least 10 other fangirls accompany you and tackling him at the same time. Make sure everyone's wearing skimpy clothing, as Ed is shy and unused to female companionship; he will fall dizzy from exposure and perverted thoughts. Tie him off and carry him away.
Note: This way is more difficult only for the fact that you all will start fighting on who gets to keep Ed. By that time, he would've escaped.
Usually in all ways of capturing him, it will involve Edward being unconscious.
Waking up Edward:
If you are impatient to wait for Ed to wake up on his own, there are a number of ways you can wake him, the most obvious being prodding him with a stick and splashing him with cold water.
The easiest way is by loudly insulting him on his side. He will automatically wake up and yell the short rants we all love before stopping to realize the situation.
Another way is by using the Full Metal Alchemist VoiceChanger to make your voice resemble Winry Rockbell. Yell at him to wake up and poke him with a wrench and he's bound to leap to his feet in a panic.
And there's always the option of just being a fangirl and doing things with him. He's bound to notice after a while.
There are many more ways to wake him up, be creative!
Coping with Ed after he's been captured:
Ed tends to be very moody after taken by a fangirl, so coaxing him to relax is always an option. It is stupid to untie him as he will escape immediately. Getting him to actually think about trusting you may take a few days where you have to act completely nice to him and hold back being a fangirl. And even then, he'll be plotting your downfall.
There's also a chance that he will completely freak out if he's in the midst of more then one fangirl, so make sure the fangirl amount is low when he awakens.
Taking care of Ed:
Even if he's your prisoner, he's still a person. You need to take care of him, especially as he's lost the use of his arms (which need to be bound at all times)
Feeding: Ed eats a lot, so prepare a rich feast for him at every meal to keep him happy. If you're willing to let him use at least one arm, watch him in case he starts making transmutation circles in the pudding and makes it explode to escape. Tie him to a chair at every meal. If you don't want him to eat by himself, make a lovey-dovey scene by feeding him, which will make him blush and try to refuse food. Make sure the food smells really good, as he won't be able to resist. Don't give him milk, he hates it. Alot.
Sleeping: Make sure he's comfortable, as being captured often makes Ed sleepier then usual. If you allow him to sleep in your bed, wait for him to fall asleep before jumping in with him and get out of the bed before he wakes up. Failure to do that will cause him to scream and freak out when he wakes up, and start not sleeping until he's sure you're asleep.
Leisure: When not doing anything, Ed will start moping and whining about random things. Ignore if you don't want to go crazy. He'll also get upset if he's not with his brother, so always be prepared to kidnap Alphonse, or his counterpart Alfons which is safer and easier to acquire.
Cleaning: He will insist on cleaning himself, despite not being able to use his arms. You can either respect your wishes or give in to fangirl urges and wash him yourself. He'd want to avoid you more if you do, so avoid that option. You can also get in the tub/shower with him if you feel like inspiring a hot romance scene or making him freak out.
Fangirling: As that is the purpose for kidnapping him, with Ed, keep fangirling to a minimum. Kissing him and teasing him about his clothes is okay, but if it gets as far as doing the unthinkable in bed with him, he'll be more prone to escape. Only do that if you are indeed an expert fangirl and know what to do in these situations. For other fangirl needs, use hypnosis to make him more eager to do what you want to do.
Escaping: Escape will be one of the main things on Ed's mind, so keep him on watch 24/7. As suggested before, using hypnosis will have him unable to leave, though major angst sessions might occur as a side affect. Use ice cream, candy and FMA plushies to make him feel better.
Frequently Asked Questions:
Q: I was able to catch Ed, but now the army's after me!!! What's going on?!
A: Unfortunately, being as Ed's the "dog of the military", after being missing for a certain amount of time, the military will send out to look for him. Hahahahaha. This can be solved only by changing locations and not making yourself suspicious. Sucks to be you.
Q: I escaped the army but now this mob of rabid fangirls are right outside my door!! Help!!!
A: Well, being as Ed is very popular, fangirls are prone to try and steal them from you. It helps to be skilled in the martial arts for this scenario. If you are not, the only thing we can say is: Ahahahaha! You're screwed.
Q: I'm trying to take care of Ed but he keeps ignoring me. I think he hates me.
A: He probably does. You kidnapped him after all. Only thing you can do about that is pamper him and make him feel at home. Or kidnap Alphonse so they could be together.
Q: I was trying to give Ed milk to keep his calcium intake high and he started freaking out. What's up?
A: Well, you're an idiot because we clearly stated that Ed hates milk. Give him a lollipop, he'll calm down.
Q: Ed escaped!!! And for some reason I can't find him anyway, just his brother walking around by himself. What happened??
A: It's rare and difficult to kidnap Ed more then once (though a few has done it), most likely he's hiding from you inside Al's armor. This can be solved by opening it.
Q: I'm a yaoi fan and I managed to capture both Ed and Roy using your guide, but they're not doing anything but muttering plans of escape. What do I do?
A: Damn you...using our guide for evil. But, if you must fulfill your yaoi fangirl dreams, the option of hypnosis is always available. But don't forget what will happen to you after you try it. You've been warned.
Q: I captured Ed but he says he has to go to the bathroom. I don't want to help him because it's too fan girly. If I let him go by himself he'll just escape. What do I do? I don't want to have to clean up any accidents...-.-;
A: Damn girl, that's a predicament. Your best guess is just to convince him to let you do it for him if he ever wants to pee for him. That, plus candy and maybe a little hypnosis might solve that problem. Or...diapers.
(contact to add ur own)
Final Note:
The longest you can manage being with Ed is about a month or two so make the best with it! We hope this will increase your chances with Edward and that you have fun with him when he's your hostage! Good luck!