Stumble
Chapter Seven
Disclaimer- I do not own the Outsiders. Or Cute Without The 'E' by Taking Back Sunday.
-- This all was only wishful thinking –
Twenty-five dollars. I'd sold my soul for twenty-five dollars. I felt so dirty, so violated. And yet, it was my fault. I could've said no. But I didn't. This was all my fault.
I stood from the bed and quietly collected my things. I was alone now. He'd left shortly after he'd finished. I didn't even know his name. I got dressed and ran a hand through my hair. I took a deep breath and tried to regain some of my composure before going back out there.
I made my way down the hall and back into the main part of the house. The party was still in full swing. I found it odd that I could be in so much pain – both emotional and physical – and these people could all be so oblivious to it. I felt like I was screaming although I wasn't making a sound.
I quickly left, not able to stay there a moment longer. I went directly home, not caring if my father was there or not. When I entered my house it was dark. I went past the living room. It was empty and the TV was off. I assumed my father wasn't home. I went to my room.
I threw myself onto my bed and buried my head in my pillow. The tears were just about to spill over when there was a soft knock on my bedroom door. I took a deep, quivering breath and pushed the tears back.
"Yeah?" I called. The door slowly opened and Vanessa stepped in. She came to sit on the edge of my bed.
"Hey," she said. "Where'd you go?"
"Just…out," I couldn't tell her the truth.
"You alright?" she questioned, giving me a concerned look. She must have seen the tears I was trying so hard to hide.
"Yeah," I assured her. "There's just been a lot going on. It's been overwhelming."
"I understand," she replied.
No, you don't understand, I thought. I hope you never do.
I noticed she was looking a little uneasy. "Are you alright?" I asked.
"Um, well," she stammered. "There's another reason I'm home. They caught me smoking in the bathroom and I was, well, I was…expelled."
I sighed deeply. "Okay," I told her. "We'll get you enrolled at Will Rogers tomorrow."
She smiled at me, "Thanks, Morgan."
"It's late, Nessa," I replied. "Go to bed."
She nodded and left. I sighed and lay back on my pillow again. My mother was dead. My father was beating me. Vanessa was staying. I had just sold my own virginity for twenty-five dollars. And I would have to do it again. I was going to need money if I was going to get out of here, if I was going to put Nessa through school.
I took a deep breath and swallowed the lump in my throat. I was going to have to grow up.