Rory looked at the invitation. It's not that she hadn't thought of him in the last few weeks at all, it's just that her life had been so hectic since that time. She didn't know how she'd even begin a conversation with him if she got the chance. And yet, holding the flyer with the address and a quick note scribbled over the ad, here was the chance.

She wanted to show him she'd put her life back together. She didn't want him thinking she'd fallen apart completely. Why it was so important to her was hard to say. She almost owed him for the slap in the face that spurred her back towards reality last time. But was that all?

What would she say about Logan? She'd been struggling to keep her life with him normal lately. Logically, everything he'd told her about the bridesmaids made perfect sense. He didn't intentionally mean to hurt her, so staying with him was the only thing to do. Of course she still cared for him. He clearly cared for her with all of his displays to win her back the past few weeks. So why couldn't she look at him still?

The problem was she felt cheated. No matter what her head said, she felt like a victim. She didn't like it. This side of the coin was too uncomfortable for her. It had been so easy with Dean – forgetting the other person existed because she was less important than the happiness Rory felt with him, even in that short time. It had been so easy, almost an afterthought. Like she was now. An afterthought.

Was that the answer? Maybe they just needed equal footing again. Make him the afterthought, and they'd be even. That would be easiest.

Holding the flyer with the address, Rory headed out to her car without another thought.

He saw her sitting, waiting. She'd been there so long that everyone else had left. It was just the two of them. He felt nervous, but he took his chance. He walked over and pulled up a stool.

"You don't have to read it again," he laughed, realizing she was going through his book.

"I know I don't." She smiled proudly.

"There's so many things I would change!"

"Like what?"

"I would keep... the back cover. Everything else goes."

She laughed dismissively and turned closer to him. "You know why I love your book?"

"Why?"

"It doesn't remind me of anything. It's not a rip-off. It's just you."

"High praise, Miss Yale Editor."

"Ya," she looked down feeling a bit guilty for the hint of pride welling up over the fact that he already knew about Yale. "I don't get to write as much as I'd like. I'm mostly assigning, and motivating, hand-holding, rewriting."

"Ya, and you love it. Every minute of it. C'mon, tell me you don't!"

She grinned, "I do. I do love it. It's exciting!" She realized she never actually celebrated this success with anyone else. She'd been given the position as a fluke, and then got kicked out of her apartment. Moving in with Logan immediately seemed like the bigger deal at the time... being excited was just pushed aside.

"You look happier than when I saw you last."

"I am," she nodded, biting her lip. She was feeling happier, but it only just snuck up on her. Lately she hadn't been feeling this happy doing anything but working on the paper or chatting with her mom.

"You 'fixed' everything?" He looked so careful.

"Ya, everything's fixed." She went back to school. She became an editor. She made up with her mom. Don't think about Logan!

Jess smiled and leaned in. "I'm glad you're here."

"Me too." Keep the smile on your face. Her heart was racing. No, thinking about Logan will only make you feel guilty about this! That's not the point here!

Jess came towards her carefully. He kissed her gently at first, afraid it wasn't okay. She kissed back. She started to lose herself, remembering how well they worked together despite the odds, realizing that they were slowly meeting in the middle. Feeling more confident, he reached out to her, wanting to pull her closer. Suddenly, her stomach dropped. What was she doing? She hadn't expected it at all, but Logan wasn't the one she was feeling guilty about. She pulled back and broke away, starting to feel sick.

"What?" He asked, his voice thick with confusion.

She got up and turned, "I'm sorry."

"About what?"

"Ah, about coming here like this." She started pacing, trying to wrap her mind around the awful sick feeling. "I just got the flyer, and I don't know, I just wanted to see your place, but then... this." He shook his head, still perplexed. "It's not fair to you, I'm such a jerk."

"I don't know what you're talking about." He wanted her to slow down. He thought they were on the same page. But she was still in her ranting mode, so he waited.

"And I couldn't even cheat on him the way he cheated on me," the sick feeling wasn't going away.

Jess' ears perked up at that. "Who! Who cheated on you?" He was suddenly very protective. But she wouldn't look him in the eye. His face started to feel a bit numb as realization struck. "That guy?"

She nodded, barely. He stopped, feeling like an idiot. He covered his mouth with his hand. "You're still with him." It wasn't a question.

"Ya." At least she had the decency to look devastated. But he'd asked!

"I thought everything was fixed." He began to feel angry, realizing he'd done nothing wrong this time.

She shrugged. "Everything but him."

"I hate this." It should have been the perfect reunion he'd been waiting for all these years, but the timing was off again, because of another ass Rory was hung up on.

"You should, I'm sorry."

Why is she sorry? I pushed myself on her. But he realized he'd taken all the right signs. "You came here, alone, to Philadelphia," he thought out loud.

She shrugged, "he was out of town."

So she was leading him on? "I don't deserve this, Rory."

"No, you don't! You don't deserve it!" She felt terrible and confused and sick. "I just-" she paused, trying to regain control."I'm in love with him." She looked defeated. "Despite all the bad he's done, I can't help it. I'm in love with him."

Jess felt like he was swallowing sand. He didn't want to hear this. "Love, huh?"

"Ya," she said a little lighter, shrugging, trying to make it seem like a small confession.

"I guess I'll call Matthew's poet. Have him explain love to me. Poets know all about it, right?" His voice sounded dead, but a touch of sarcasm was there. Rory crossed her arms over her chest.

"Supposed to," she shrugged again. "Well, I guess I'd better go."

He nodded towards the door, wanting this situation to be over. "Okay."

"I'm so sorry I came here."

"I'm uh," he stopped himself from saying not. "It's what it is. You. Me." They both looked down. "Where'd you park?"

"Oh, I'm right outside," she smiled nonchalantly, which hit him even harder. She started walking away like everything had been fixed, and in that moment, he really didn't like her.

"Just-" he called out, making her stop and turn at the door. "One clarification, if you don't mind." She nodded and waited, a little afraid. "At the risk of sounding like a complete ass," he collected himself. "Why him?"

Rory looked down and took a deep breath. She really was going to be sick soon. "I don't know what you want me to say."

"I know I don't have the perfect track record," Jess tried hard to keep his anger in check. "But he cheats on you, and you go running back to him with open arms? I would never-"

"Stop, please. Logan and I-" she searched for the right words. "It's really complicated."

"What, and we're not?" He took a step closer.

"You and I are over, Jess, it's different." She was pleading for him to stop.

He nodded to the ground, feeling the sneer curl up his lips. "That's funny, 'cause from where I stand, it doesn't really look that way." He lifted his head, seeing the anger begin to boil in her eyes too. "A few weeks ago, if your boyfriend hadn't shown up, would it still be over? And what about just now, Rory? You drive for hours, and you kiss me back, and you still think it's over? Tell me you felt nothing just now."

"It doesn't matter what I felt, Jess, it was a mistake. I love Logan!" She wanted to shake him.

"Ya, you keep saying that, and yet here you are."

She glared at him and opened the door. "I have to go."

He rushed after her before she could get too far. "You want to know what I do know about love?" he says from the doorway, catching her arm. She met his gaze angrily. He looked over her shoulder, making sure no one was watching, and he dropped his voice to a whisper. "I know that I haven't been able to get you out of my head since I met you. It's been years, Rory. And no matter where I go, or who I meet, or how many times I beat it into myself that I'm not good enough for you, you're still in my head! I can't escape you! I think I'm a crazy person!"

Rory stood, stunned. "You're not-"

"So I worked at it," Jess continued, not wanting to lose momentum. "It might be the biggest cliché in the book, but I knew I would never be worth anything until I meant something to you. And here I am."

"Stop it!" she clutched her head, overwhelmed and confused.

"I love you, Rory. I've only ever said it to one person, and I'll always mean it," he looked at her hard, "no matter how you feel about me." He finished, biting his lip defensively. He'd finally said it all. He'd finally let it all go, and he felt exposed. He risked a glance at Rory.

Her eyes were flaming. Nearly in tears and furious, she took a step towards him. He flinched, not sure what to expect. She opened her mouth, about to say something, but then changed her mind. She grabbed him by the shirt collar and kissed him angrily on the mouth. He stumbled backwards through the door. He clutched her face, breathing deeply as she pushed him backward. He closed the front door, still holding onto her.

Suddenly, she pushed him away, making him stumble again, confused.

"No!" She pointed at him, keeping the distance between them. Her mind was reeling. "My God, you have the worst timing in the world!" She breathed and started pacing back and forth. "You'll say it now! You'll say it as an ambush on the street! You never pick a time when I can say it back!" She yelled. "I'm telling you that I love someone else, and all of a sudden the flood gates are open on your end! This is not fair." She squared off, looking at him right in the eye. "Right now, how can I possibly tell you that I-"

Her words were muffled by him reaching out and pulling her back into the passionate kiss. She kissed back, not thinking. She nearly lost herself again, but then held her hands up at her sides. She pulled away, trying not to touch him.

"This is not how tonight was supposed to go!" she cried. "It was supposed to be fun and meaningless! And it would have bugged him even more because it was you." He watched her pace, his face darkening. "And then I could have felt better about this whole mess, and been done with it and we could have moved on!"

"So that's the only reason you came, then?" he spat.

"Yes!" Rory said quickly, "I mean no." Jess shifted angrily. "I mean, I have no idea, because I forgot it was you! It could never be meaningless, could it?" He wouldn't look at her, his hands in his pockets. "I can't stop feeling sick about this whole thing, and I'm just being awful." She tried getting him to meet her eye. "I'm so sorry, Jess. You're so much better than this. You've always been there for me in a way no one else has, and I just-"

She reached up and kissed him softly. His whole body was rigid at first, but when she wouldn't let go and tried to deepen it, he relaxed. He pulled her body closer to him. Realizing they were by the couches, they slid down smoothly, and he leaned back, pulling her with him. He brought his hands to the buttons of her jacket and started fumbling.

"W-wait," she murmured. She pulled away abruptly, leaving him catching his breath.

"You want to do this right now or not?" Jess said, trying to keep his voice calm. "'Cause we can! It's probably hours till the guys get back, and you had a plan. I don't see why we can't stick to it."

"Jess, don't," she sobbed.

"No, it's all up to you Rory. Screw what's-his-name, or not. I'm game either way, just pick one!"

"It's not fair! None of this is. I don't know when it all started going wrong!" She wiped her eyes and crossed her arms over her chest. He had no idea when she'd started crying, but there she was, tears burning down her face. "You know, I spent a night in jail? That's right, Me, Rory Gilmore, a jailbird. And I broke up a marriage! Dean and Lindsay. Their divorce, that was because of me! I'm a home-wrecker, and I didn't even think what it was doing to her!"

He watched quietly. He'd never seen her like this before. "And when you came to visit, I was just so embarrassed about what my life had become! And you know I still love him?" she laughed to herself, starting to shake. "You say you weren't good enough for me, but I think the evidence at this point safely proves that the opposite is true. I'm so sorry, I don't even know what I'm doing here!" She covered her face and turned away from him, sobbing.

She felt a soft hand on her back. Jess pulled her into his arms, just hugging her. She buried her face in his shoulder, crying angrily to herself. The past year had been so confusing and overwhelming. Everything had changed, and she knew it wasn't all for the better. She was still trying to put herself back together, though she thought she'd done it already.

Jess held onto her, gently rubbing her back and wiping the hair out of her face. He had no idea what to say, or what he was doing. Honestly, he was a little scared. Slowly, she began to calm down. She sniffed and hiccoughed.

He gave her a squeeze and smiled, "You know, you owe me a new jacket now."

She laughed.

"No, I'm serious, this was the only suit I owned!"

She sniffed and pulled back to look at him, "Can't be much of a loss since your suit came with jeans."

"Nah," he grinned. "I was slowly building it." They smiled softly, at each other. "You okay?"

Rory nodded, looking down. "Um, for now, I think." He nodded, equally as fascinated with his shoes. "I'm really sorry about all of this." She glanced up at him. "I should really get going now, though. I've wasted enough of your time."

"Not really," he shrugged.

"Either way, I should go. Thanks. For everything." She turned and walked to the door. "And again. Sorry."

"You keep saying that," Jess gave her a lopsided grin. "But I have it on pretty good authority you'll be forgiven," he winked. "Eventually."

She smiled, and then left. Jess watched her go. He let out a gush of air he hadn't known he was holding. She was gone again.