Let friendship equal F. Let sexual relations equal S.
Let Gregory House equal H. Let James Wilson equal W. Let Jessica Rousille, an intern, equal J.
Given: F equals the sum of H and W. S equals the sum of W and J.
Prove that F is greater than or equal to S.
W equals F minus H. W equals S minus J. Therefore, F minus H equals S minus J.
That's as far as one could get without numbers.
House glared silently at the board. He had never been good at theoretical mathematics. And, try as he might, the jumble of letters was no good without an assigned value for H and J in relation to W. He would have to ask Wilson who was more important.
Or... He picked up his marker again. He rewrote the equation.
Let infinity equal L.
If W plus H equals L, then L minus H equals S minus J.
Infinty minus (any number, here H) equals infinity. S minus J is less than or equal to infinity.
Therefore, L minus H is greater than or equal to S minus J.
Therefore, if F equals L, then F is greater than or equal to S.
House grinned. He would have to make F equal L for the proof to be accurate. He wrote one more line on the board, before taking his cane and going to find Wilson.
Let L equal love...
Now, some (all) of you may be wondering what in all the hells the above means/proves. You want to hear something funny? I don't have the faintest idea.
My theory is: Jessica is an intern that Wilson is having S with. House wrote the proof to make himself believe that his friendship with Wilson was 'greater than or equal to' the thing with the intern. There were too many variables (all of them), and it could not be solved. So he put in infinity (love) and, since nothing can be greater than infinity, the S cannot be greater than love. For this to mean anything, he and Wilson would have to be in love, instead of friends.
Basically, he has to get Wilson to fall in love with him in order to be sure that he is more important to said oncologist than the intern.
Okay? Does that make sense?
Where in the world did I get this idea? I've been on the computer too much.
Oh, also, if the proof makes sense to anyone, and that person sees an error, please tell me.