Monday, 11:45 a.m.

Josh pulled up at the spot where he'd parked two days ago, and sat for a long minute, gazing at the lighthouse.

He was leaving Springfield - not, as he'd hoped, with the woman he loved, but alone.

And he was human. Inevitably, he had regrets. There'd been moments when he'd let himself consider hanging around and trying to win Reva back. Easier to compete with a living rival than with a dead one...

He even wondered whether, on some level, he'd wanted to hurt Jeffrey. He hadn't found a way to explain upfront - with assurances that Reva would undoubtedly choose Jeffrey - that she'd been in the act of leaving town with him, Josh.

That revelation, when it came, had hit poor Jeffrey like a ton of bricks. He'd assumed they'd just been headed someplace like a restaurant. But he'd handled it well. He'd thought, briefly, that Reva was already in a relationship with Josh. So he'd told her he still loved her, but he'd accept her having moved on, and wouldn't cause any problems.

Josh had, of course, hastened to tell him that before that day, he and Reva hadn't even seen each other for a year. And he'd encouraged her to follow her heart, knowing whom she'd choose.

But had he given Jeffrey those moments of horror deliberately?

He hoped he hadn't. Whenever he thought of "competing," he remembered a tremulous Reva showing Jeffrey their wedding rings (which he hadn't noticed on that chain she wore), then flinging herself into his arms. Remembered a toddler, in a tone of wonderment, saying "Da-da" for the very first time to something other than a picture.

He remembered, too, how Reva had looked yesterday, at Rick and Mindy's wedding. She'd attended with Jonathan; her "dead" husband's return, which would be major news, still hadn't been made public.

He'd thought that when she and Jeffrey were alone, their reunion might be marred by her feeling guilty about having planned a new life with him. Or that Jeffrey might, in private, give her a hard time about it. But when he saw her at the wedding, she'd been radiant. And he - knowing her as intimately as he did - had been embarrassed at how clearly he could see that sexually, all had gone extremely well.

They deserve to have their chance at happiness, with no one lurking around the corner as if he's waiting for them to fail. Time for me to get out of Dodge.

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But for now, he got out of his truck and strolled over to the lighthouse.

He sank down on the steps, where he'd sat two days ago.

The day was just as beautiful, the area just as deserted. Everything was exactly as it had been.

Except that his whole life had changed. And even if he sat there all day, he wouldn't see Reva and Colin walking toward him.

Why did I come back here? he wondered. Just to wallow in my misery?

He reminded himself that he couldn't, in good conscience, be miserable. He certainly couldn't regret that Jeffrey was alive.

And he, Reva, and Colin weren't the only ones affected by Jeffrey's return. An enormous burden had been lifted from Shayne's shoulders, and, he now understood, from Jonathan's. Both young men had been living in fear. The worst kind of fear, for their loved ones. With the news that Edmund was gone, their lives had been transformed for the better.

Josh had spent most of the weekend with Shayne and Marina, and their joy had been infectious. (Though Shayne had acknowledged feeling guilty at times. He blamed himself for the whole disastrous episode with Edmund, because he'd naively confided to him that he, Shayne, had indirectly caused Lara's death.)

Josh had been troubled by his feeling happy about anyone's death, even Edmund's. But he'd finally convinced himself he was rejoicing over the elimination of the threat posed by Edmund.

They now had proof that threat was no bluff. When Jeffrey got back to Cross Creek, he - knowing what to look for - had found that every room was bugged, and there was a wiretap on the phone. The same had proved true for Shayne's, Marina's, and Jonathan's homes.

And the unfortunate truth was that Jeffrey couldn't have defeated the monster Edmund had become - couldn't even have survived an encounter with him - without killing him.

Now Josh gazed out across the lawn where he'd first glimpsed Reva Saturday. Even then, when she was coming to meet me, Jeffrey was on the road somewhere, headed for Springfield. I just wasn't seeing the big picture.

And suddenly, he had a fanciful idea. That the "big picture" might, even now, be seen more clearly from atop the lighthouse.

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He wasn't sure who owned or administered the lighthouse. Rick Bauer, maybe? His father had been responsible for it a few years back.

In any case, it was well maintained. Can't believe it would be left unlocked...

But it won't hurt to try.

He got to his feet, strode up to the door...and wonder of wonders, it was unlocked.

The interior proved to be just as well cared for, and structurally sound, as the exterior. Josh - in very good shape himself - climbed the circular staircase as effortlessly as he'd done in his twenties.

And then, with a sharp intake of breath, he found himself gazing out over the lake. Water, as far as the eye could see, sparkling in the midday sun.

The lake. The reason the lighthouse had been built in the first place. No longer as important for commerce as it had once been, but beautiful beyond belief.

He hadn't forgotten the lake's existence, of course. That would be ridiculous. But it hadn't been visible from the steps outside the tower, and he hadn't consciously thought of it, Saturday or today.

The big picture...

Inspired by the notion that he could see "the big picture" more clearly up here, he suddenly thought of something he should tell Shayne.

No one can dispute that it's a good thing Henry wound up in Springfield, and his parentage came to light. If that hadn't happened, given the problem with his blood, he probably would have died in infancy.

But considering Edmund's past, the kind of man he was - even if he didn't have any reason to blame Shayne for Lara's death, he probably would have gone rogue when he learned Henry was his grandson. He would have tried to kidnap him, and the whole thing would have played out as it did.

So it wasn't Shayne's fault. None of it!

Of course, it almost certainly wouldn't have happened if Lara hadn't died. And Shayne was indirectly responsible for her death. But he'd seemingly forgiven himself for that; he'd seen Lara in dreams, and believed she'd forgiven him. All he'd been thinking of, recently, was the foolish mistake he'd made in telling Edmund.

Given that, Josh was amazed by the sudden insight he'd had. Yes, he resolved, he would pass it on to Shayne before he left.

Now he turned away from the lake - turned full circle, his gaze taking in all the surrounding countryside.

He had no difficulty picking out the road. The road, the one on which he and Reva had met Jeffrey.

What would have happened, he wondered, if he'd chosen a different road? Headed in the opposite direction?

Common sense told him the outcome would have been the same. Jeffrey would have reached Springfield. He'd lost touch with Jonathan, feared his stepson had been killed; but he'd still meant to start by looking for him. He would have found him easily, and Jonathan would have phoned Reva - undoubtedly before she and Josh had stopped for the night. Before we'd made love. Her reunion with Jeffrey would have come a few hours later, and been less dramatic. But otherwise...the same.

Now that he'd started thinking about "what-ifs," however, other possibilities flooded his mind.

The big picture...

If, for whatever reason, Jeffrey had never come back to Springfield, Josh and Reva might have lived out their lives as a couple without ever learning he'd survived the plane crash in North Carolina.

But the odds, he saw now, were very much against that.

What if Jeffrey had gotten home sooner?

In some scenarios, that would have been the happiest of possibilities for Jeffrey and Reva. But not all.

As it was, Jeffrey had killed Edmund about three months ago. He hadn't made it home till now because he'd been badly wounded, and stranded in a jungle without a working GPS.

If he'd been able to return to Reva, his need for her might have driven him to rush home right away. But it would have been wiser to wait - months had to pass for Edmund's agents to realize their source of pay was permanently gone, and move on. If Jeffrey had gotten home sooner, he would have forestalled Josh and saved everyone some embarrassment, but his family would have been in mortal danger.

What if he, Josh, hadn't had the patience to wait out that year he'd suggested, had persuaded Reva to marry him months ago...and her husband had come back this past Saturday?

It would have been devastating, for all three of us.

For his own part, he'd spoken the truth when he told Reva, a year ago, that he was no more "ready" than she was. His love for her was dangerously close to turning into an addiction.

If we'd married months ago, before I "found Joshua," and then I had to face the prospect of losing her, I wouldn't have been able to cope nearly as well as I can now.

God knows what I would have done.

What if he and Reva had left Saturday and begun a new life together, possibly married, and months or years later, Jeffrey had reappeared?

Even worse.

For Jeffrey, after all he'd endured, to find his wife with another man, his son loving a stepfather.

For Reva, to feel she'd "betrayed" Jeffrey.

For me, to learn my wife, and the child I'd come to think of as my son, might be torn away from me.

For Colin...the longer he'd had to become attached to me, the worse it would be.

If years had passed with everyone believing Jeffrey was dead, he might not have expected to find Reva a chaste widow. But she still would have been devastated, because she hadn't sensed he was alive and remained faithful. And then, he would have been grief-stricken.

No one could behave logically in a situation like that. I think all three of us adults would have been shattered. Reva would have left me, but her guilt feelings would have kept her from reuniting with Jeffrey.

We would have crawled off into separate corners to lick our wounds...and none of us would have been able to give Colin the support he'd need.

What if, after a lapse of years, Jeffrey had killed Edmund and decided not to disrupt Reva's life - to "spare" her by letting her go on believing he was dead?

He might have been noble enough to try that. But depending on where and how he killed Edmund, it might have been impossible to keep his picture from airing on everyone's 11 o'clock news. And if that didn't happen, there'd be any number of other ways he could be outed, by old enemies or old friends.

What if he and Reva had begun that new life together, Jeffrey had later died - possibly killed by Edmund - and they'd learned when and how he'd actually died?

Another horrific outcome. The more Jeffrey had suffered, the worse Reva would feel about what she'd been doing while he was suffering. Again, she would have left me, and both of us would have wound up alone and miserable.

And that might have been the worst outcome for Colin. He'd have his relationship with me cut off, without even the possibility of forming a bond with Jeffrey to take its place.

After imagining all that, he dropped to his knees, and fervently thanked God for what had actually happened.

He and Reva hadn't had sex, even once. Perhaps more important: She'd made a decision to begin a new life with him, a decision that might have been based as much on Colin's needs as on her own. But she hadn't been seeing him on a daily basis this past year, even platonically; and Colin hadn't bonded with him. Their relationships hadn't evolved in any way Jeffrey could resent.

My going away for that year was the right move - for more reasons than I knew.

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Then he looked out from the tower again. Focusing not on faraway waters or roads, but on the lawn where he'd met Reva Saturday. Where he'd had that strange impression of her as a goddess...

He remembered how her odd-looking dress had blended with her surroundings.

A sign, he thought. A sign that even though she wasn't born in Springfield, she belongs here now. Belongs here, as truly as this landmark lighthouse.

While he was driving Saturday morning, he'd heard a song on the radio. Its refrain went something like this:

We belong together,

Like the moon and stars and midnight.

We'll be strong forever,

'Cause we belong together.

He'd told himself he and Reva were like that. They belonged together.

In a sense, I was right. We do belong together - but not just the two of us, and not as a couple.

He understood now what Reva really was. She didn't know it yet, of course...but she was growing into the role of matriarch of an extended family. A family that included all three of her living ex-husbands, if only because she shared a grandchild with every one of them. (Shared the same one, Daisy, with Billy and Buzz.)

That family was rooted in Springfield. All the children were there, and Daisy's relationship with James Spaulding would surely bring her home to stay.

And me? Josh smiled. I'm a part of it, so yes, I belong here too.

I'm leaving now, Reva - to give you and Jeffrey the space you'll need for a while, and to find a new focus for my life.

But I'll be back.

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The End