Stumble
Chapter Thirteen
Disclaimer – I do not own the Outsiders. Or Thanks For The Memories by Fallout Boy.
-- He tastes like you only sweeter –
My life went on like that for awhile after that day. I spent weeks at the Curtis house, the reason for my presence unbeknownst to anyone besides Dallas and myself. It became second nature, then, like a ritual, then, suddenly, it was something important. It was something I needed.
It seemed as though I wouldn't be able to get through the day without that little trip to the house up the street. It was like I needed those hours alone in that house with Dallas. I was more comfortable around him all of a sudden. It was like the first night we'd met…I barely knew him, but I trusted him, felt safe with him.
But then I began to realize something; why was Dallas here? Day after day? He had no responsibilities, no commitments. He could be out doing whatever he wanted. So, why was he here with me? Why was he helping me?
It's not like I was worth it. He'd said that himself.
"What the hell are you talkin' about?" was his reply to this question.
"You know what I'm talking about," I said. "Why are you here with me every day? You don't have to be."
"Like hell I don't," he shot back. "If I wasn't here you'd still be out there screwing every-other guy that came along."
His words stung a bit, but I didn't give him the satisfaction of knowing it. "But why do you care? It's not like you should."
"What's that supposed to mean?" the bitterness in his voice subsided for a moment.
"Nobody's ever cared about me," I answered quietly, watching my hands as I picked the stuffing out of the couch.
"Well that's just stupid," I heard him say. I looked up to see him staring indifferently at the TV screen. He took a swig from the Pepsi bottle in his hands.
"What d'you mean?" I asked tentatively.
"Nobody ever cared about you? Bull." He replied. "What about your sister?"
"Alright," I sighed. "That's one. Who else?"
"I'm sure there's somebody," he answered quietly, still staring at the TV.
"Oh, yeah? Who?" I knew I was probably pushing my luck with this one. My thoughts were confirmed when he didn't answer.
I sighed. Leaving my chair, I went into the kitchen to get myself a glass of water. I didn't hear the footsteps approaching me, but suddenly someone had my wrist and yanked me around. Coming face to face with Dallas Winston, I started. But then, out of nowhere, his lips were on mine and he was kissing me for the second time.
It wasn't that extraordinarily different from any of the other guys I'd kissed. He was exactly gentle about it, but there was still a quality to it which I enjoyed. Maybe it was just because it was Dallas, or maybe it was because this was a welcome kiss. I knew in that moment, that, deep down, part of me wanted this.
When we pulled away from each other and I was staring into those startling blue eyes again, I felt nothing but fear. It hit me like a cold gust of wind.
Why was he doing this? What did he want from me? Was he just using me? Is this why he stuck with for so long? What were his intentions?
With these questions and so many more running through my mind, I turned and darted from the house.
I think what scared me most, though, was that I didn't think I'd ever be able to go back, and I knew, with every fiber of my being, that I needed Dallas.