AN: Second one belongs to Zexion, though it's probably a different Zexy than you're used to. It was inspired by what little I know about Ienzo and Ansem's relationship in birth by sleep, and by a screenshot from the secret ending that Niffstral sent me. There aren't really any spoilers (nothing about the main plot anyway, since I don't know about that myself), so enjoy without fear!
Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts.
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I no longer remember my birth father. Perhaps I would recognize his face if I saw him, or his voice if I heard it, but at present I remember neither. Given that he is no longer among the living, seeing his face and hearing his voice are both highly improbable. He died when I was very young, and is no more than a stranger to me. A phantom, just like my mother.
I remember a great deal about the man who raised me: my true father. I remember ice cream, walking hand-in-hand, and amber eyes that could turn from stony to warm when they met mine. I remember a wide, warm lap, difficult books, and hiding out in the library. Those bookcases can trouble some of the great scientific minds of Radiant Garden when they want to. I remember smiles and words of praise, back-patting and hair-ruffling. I remember the warmth on my head after my hair was ruffled. I remember, "go to sleep," and "I'll be here when you wake up."
I never had any of those things with my birth father. That is not his fault, I suppose, but memories are all we Nobodies have. Lacking those, his only apparent contribution to my life was just that: my life.
The man who raised me gave me the confidence to speak and taught me how to think. Without those things, my careers as the youngest apprentice and the youngest member of the Organization (until number XIII came, anyway) would both have been very short-lived. I suppose my time as an apprentice was a bit short as it was, but that was my own fault. It was a mistake. A miscalculation.
I didn't believe them when they said he would build it if I were the one to ask.
I didn't fully understand the consequences of what we were doing. I was just happy to have a new toy. I'm sorry, Father, or I would be sorry if I could put my heart in it, anyway. I betrayed you for such a paltry thing. I would have regretted it every day of my life, if I were still capable of regret, and if I could call this truly living.
Is it irony or poetic justice that I lost my heart to this new toy, only to lose my nonexistence to one of Vexen's toys? If you add in the psychotic, scheming, redhead, I suspect both irony and poetic justice are present somehow.
My true father was a well-respected man. A great man. A wise man. Regardless of what Xemnas may say, I know that to be true.
Father, is there any way that you'll ever forgive me?
No. It's too late. I should have known that. The day I took the name "Zexion," it became too late. Ienzo is the one you know and love. The one who loves you. The one you can forgive. The one you probably forgave a long time ago. DiZ and Zexion have never met, and never will meet. They never can. Zexion is gone. Dead, if Nobodies die.
I'm afraid. Afraid of dying. I shouldn't be able to feel fear. I know that. It's probably just a memory of the fear I once had. It's not real. I can't really feel it.
But…
Father, would you mind if I pretend that you're here beside me, holding my hand like you used to?
