AN: On Niffstral's suggestion, the third drabble is Xion's. I know a lot of people dislike her. That's why I wrote it. Xion's focuses largely on the theme of existence, and also friendship. Thanks for all the reviews so far. You guys are so nice. :)
Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts.
I was never meant to exist. That's not really all that unique, though. No one in Organization XIII was meant to exist. When their original selves lost their hearts, they never expected to be reborn, even if that rebirth was missing something. They expected to die. Some of them probably think death would've been better than the way they're living now. But I guess what makes them different from me is that there was a time when they were supposed to exist. There was a time when someone agreed with them, and thought that their existence had value, merely because they existed.
I wasn't born into value like them. I was made. A doll. A puppet. A replica, created only to absorb the power of the keyblade. My existence is valuable only as long as I can collect hearts. I don't need a past, a personality, or even a face of my own. Those things were all stolen from other people. People with hearts, who are allowed to live without having to prove that their existence is worthwhile. Sora, Kairi and Riku.
So really, the person that I became after I was exposed to Roxas isn't really me. Because I, Xion, am a doll without memories or thoughts of my own. The replica known as Xion, or No. i, wasn't supposed to develop a personality. I wasn't supposed to learn to think for myself. No one, not even the ones who created me, wanted that for me. In that way, a replica like me is even more of a Nobody than the real Nobodies, because not even they will acknowledge my existence. They're part of the cycle that they hate. Those with hearts look down on them and deny their existence, and they look down on me and deny mine. I'm at the very bottom. So really, why should I have regrets, or doubt what I need to do? This Xion wasn't supposed to exist, exists only to suffer and be abused, and when I'm gone, no one will even know that she existed at all. No one will miss me.
I should be grateful. I lived for 350 days, and I had a mind and personality for most of that time. I had friends who cared about me and worried when I was gone. I saw so many sunsets. I ate so much ice cream. I laughed alongside people who thought that my existence, as flimsy as it is, had more value than just a doll who uses the keyblade. I'll cherish these things forever, and I can leave without worrying, because Axel and Roxas will forget all the trouble that my being beside them caused. They'll be better off.
I know all that. It's what Riku told me. There's someone who needs me in order to go on, needs me more than Axel and Roxas. I'm grateful for that. I'm glad that someone genuinely needs me. But… if that's really true, why do I feel so sad?
No, that's wrong. Am I capable of feeling sad? Does someone like me have real feelings, or are they even more fake and shallow than the memories of feelings that the Nobodies have? Is my desire to protect Axel and Roxas real? Is it something that I want, or does it come from someone else?
I guess, I don't know. I'd have to ask Axel, since he knows a bit about replicas. But it's too late for that now. I'm no longer someone who can ask him for help.