Chapter 3 SasuNaru
I know you want to hurt me... but I end up hurting myself instead. That's how much I love you.
Naruto stared at me, his eyes glazing over and his cheeks tinting in red. He gave me a grin and laughed. Yeah, man. I love you too. I knew he didn't mean the way I did. He meant it more like a brotherly love. I have to tell him how I feel.
In all honesty, if I had any idea the pain I was going to endure in the next few minutes, I would have never said anything else.
Naruto...I don't mean it like that. I mean...I love you. I could feel the air becoming thick and became hard to breathe. I didn't want to look at him, but I had to so I can see his reaction. His eyes were wider than before and he wasn't saying anything.
Hey guys come on the party is starting what are you waiting for? Kiba said through the open window above the kitchen sink. Naruto, Sakura is here already too.
Just a sec. Naruto waved Kiba away and didn't take his eyes off me. He dropped his arm to his side.
I still wonder what could have possibly been going on in his head at that exact moment. But I have a pretty good guess.
What the fuck are you talking about? Naruto took a step closer and I, as a reflex, took a step back. That was when I was pretty sure I shouldn't talk anymore. But there was no way I was giving up after coming this far. That's just not how I do things.
I mean I love you! What the hell is so hard to understand? All the nerves and tension of the conversation were getting to me. I wanted him to tell me he loved me too. I wanted him to smile and laugh telling me he's loved me all along.
Sasuke... I...I am not a fucking fag! His voice was rough and deadly. The words tore through me with daggers of hate. He looked at me in disgust. I went numb not and started to cry.
Oh look the little fag is crying. He mocked me. I wondered how he could go from asking me what to wear to making fun of me. But that's what happens when you do stupid things. I told him I loved him and now he hates me. You are sick! So what are you saying you've had the hots for me all this time? I didn't answer. I'm pretty sure he wouldn't want me too.
Oh fuck! You've slept over here a million times. You probably molested me in my sleep. His tones were quieter but the words still hurt.
I could feel the world crashing down around me. All hope was flooding away. My life was over. I know, I know. I sound extremely pathetic but you'd have to be there to understand.
Please...Naruto... I wanted to say 'pleas don't hate me.' but I figured it was useless. Nothing could reverse this fire I had ignited.
He walked closer to me and I felt my heart trying plunge out of my chest. I backed up with every step he took until I hit the wall. He put his hands on either side of my head, locking me to the wall. I could feel his body heat. I looked into his eyes. They were blank. He got closer to my face and I felt his lips brush against mind, then his mouth attacked mine. For a split second I thought I was wrong about him hating me, that all his words were just shock induced. The calming sensation of his kiss ended when he shoved me to the floor. He glared at me and I felt stupid for falling for his trick.
Wow! You really are a fag! I thought you were just messing around. You didn't push me off. He walked closer and bent down and pulled my up by my hair. Not only are you a fag, you're a fucking slut too! He let go of my hair and I caught my balance before he back handed me. The pain surged through my jaw and I closed my eyes. I felt his fist make contact with my stomach. I lunged forward trying not to puke, only to have his knee slam into my face. I fell backwards. I could taste my tears mixing with blood in my mouth. He towards me again and he reached for me.
No! Don't touch me! I pushed myself further away from him. He looked at me. I saw concern was over his face. He was probably just realizing what he was actually doing to me.
Sasuke, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to... At that moment I didn't know what to believe. He fooled me with the kiss and now what? Was he trying to fool me again?
I was scared. Extremely terrified. I felt like Alice in Wonderland. Nothing there made sense I had no idea what was real.
I got up quickly loosing my balance. Wait, let me- Naruto reached for me again. I smacked his hand away and fell backwards slamming my back on the counter. Stay away! I'm sorry! I'm sorry. I shot up an ran out of the house. I could hear him calling after me. I wanted to turn around, but I didn't know what would happen if I did.
That night when I got home I didn't go in right away. I knew Itachi would be there waiting to mock me about something. I had to stop crying an pull myself together. I used my sleeve to wipe my face hoping I would get most of the blood off. I opened the front door slowly. Surprisingly no one was there.
I sighed to myself and went straight upstairs into my bathroom. I flipped on the lights and looked in the mirror. I still had blood on my cheek and on my lips. My eyes were extremely blood-shot. I had a large bruise on my face were Naruto made contact.
Seeing myself in that state made me wanna puke... and puke I did. The intense dry heaving caused my sides to ache. That's when I noticed the sever pain in my abdomen. I lifted my shirt and saw the large purple spot from were I was punched. I was in pain.
The pain made me think differently. Or, it made me think more clearly. I was nothing.
I looked at myself in the mirror. I looked over my tattered face. There was blood, tears, and now a little bit of vomit on my face. No wonder Naruto doesn't love me. Just look at me. Like Naruto said, I'm sick. Who would want to look at me?
I hated that person looking at me. The person staring at me through the glass. I hate myself. The only person I ever loved mocked me, fooled me, and attacked me. All in one night. How weak have I become?
Before, I could have taken the rejection. I could have been beaten to a bloody pulp (He pretty much was.) and still have gotten up and accept it. But not now. Not when Naruto is the one inflecting the pain. I trusted him. He's been my best friend since pre-school. He's always been their...now he's gone. All because I fucked up! I messed everything up! I ruined everything!
I heard a loud shattering noise and felt warm liquid oozing slowly down my arm. I hadn't realized I just slammed my fist into the mirror. I watched the blood flow from my hand. I knew it was the only answer. I had to die tonight. I would make everyone happy if I would just disappear.
I picked up a piece of glass. I stared at my small reflection in it. I slid my thumb on the edge wincing at the pain. Blood beads appeared on the red line.
I rolled up my sleeve and placed the sliver on my wrist. I had second thoughts on what I was about to do. I almost put the glass down until his voice echoed through my ears.
oh look at the fag crying. Not only are you a fag, you're a fucking slut too!
How could he say those things to me? You don't say that stuff to friends. But really we were not friends by the time he said that. After I said I love you, that's when we stopped being friends. That's how it works. When you tell someone you love them, you either become more than friends or less than friends.
There is no way I could turn back now. I dug the glass into my wrist trying my best to ignore the pain. In on swift motion I drug it across. I did the same on my other wrist. I watched the blood fall. I stood there for a few minutes trying to understand if this was all real or not. My brain became foggy, making me feel like I was in a dream.
I felt tired and my vision was blurring. I walked out of my bathroom and into my bedroom. I laid on my bed staring at the ceiling feeling my body being drained of life. It felt amazing.
I heard a knock on my door. It was Itachi, I guess he must have heard the mirror breaking. I wanted to tell him not to come in, to just leave me alone to die, but it was too late. He opened the door. I heard him scream for my mother and father. My mind was slipping. But before I went unconscious I realized something.
I ruined Naruto's birthday...
Ahhh! So, you like? lol. I think this is pretty good. But that's just my opinion.
;P