Unrequited Love
By Hoogiman

Chapter Three
Link and Zelda

"It's beautiful," said Zelda, looking at the giant smorgasbord of expensive pastas, pizzas and breads laid in front of her on an antique, wooden table. "Thank you for this."

"Anything to impress my love," said Link, sitting down on a chair next to Zelda, resting his arm on her shoulder.

As Zelda tried not to make her sigh audible, she suddenly realised what great food she had been presented with. She also realised how the person that presented her the food was not so great. Trying to express a level of thanks, she hesitantly picked up a fork, stabbed a piece of the Margherita with it, slowly brought it to her mouth, chewed and swallowed. Enjoying the taste, she let out a nice 'mmm'.

"I thought you would enjoy it," said Link, trying to sound gentlemanly-like.

Zelda jumped backwards, mainly because she forgot Link was so close and so invasive of her personal space, knocking a plate off the table, spilling the contents on Link's relatively expensive Persian rug.

"Oh, I am so sorry," said Zelda. "The meal is great though!"

"That's okay…" said Link, trying to sound nice, "If we are in love together, we have to accept each other's faults!"

"But that was an accident!" said Zelda angrily, "Are you saying I'm uncoordinated?"

"No," said Link defensively, "I was just trying to be nice by saying, you can get rid of all of my material possessions, but I will still love you."

"Uh… about the whole love thing," said Zelda, anxiously trying to get to the point, "What I'm trying to say is that I'm not really that attracted to-"

Zelda knocked a glass of Coke off the table, spilling on Link's Persian rug.

"I am so sorry," said Zelda, regretfully, "I really must be more-"

"It's okay…" said Link cheerfully, "If we are in love together, we have to accept each other's faults!"

"Are you calling me unco? Because you've said that twice!" said Zelda angrily.

"I was just saying-"

"Are you serious, you don't have a problem if I just say… do this?" asked Zelda, grabbing a bunch of cherries from her pocket and smearing it on the rug, staining it several times. "You seriously must be ultimately downright retarded if you actually think that way!"

"But Zelda," said Link, "I love you, and I'm a forgiving person, so whatever you do to my material possessions I will not-"

"What about now?" said Zelda angrily, opening a keg of red wine and spilling it on the rug.

"I don't care!" said Link, slightly angrily, "After all, I love-"

"What about now?" shrieked Zelda, running to the supermarket, buying various creamy-staining sauces and spilling them over the floor.

"I love you, so-"

"What about now?" yelled Zelda, calling Jigglypuff on her mobile phone, inviting her into Link's room to trash the place. Jigglypuff ran in, and with a spear, broke all of Link's electrical appliances, shattering them into tiny little pieces.

"I don't honestly care," said Link confidently, "As long as I love you, I will never-"

"Now?" asked Zelda, buying several Sonic games from the internet under his credit card.

"Okay, maybe I care a bit," said Link angrily, "But I love you, so what ever you do wrong, I will forgive you!"

"I don't love you!" screamed Zelda angrily, "You should have gotten the point with all of the hints I gave you about my dislike of you! I'm in love with someone else who is much more… uh… lovable than you! I just don't love you! That's it!"

Zelda stormed out. Link started to shed tears.

Falco ran in. "Link, this is the best time to ask you out, so do you wanna?"

Link angrily slammed the door on Falco's face.

Zelda knocked on a door, covered with happy stickers of happy people, fulfilling their lives to the full extent.

Pit opened the door.

"Pit, I just wanted to tell you," said Zelda eagerly, "I love you, you are the love of my life, I don't want anyone else but you!"

"Uh… sorry to burst your bubble," said Pit anxiously, "But… I don't really… love you back… so…"

Pit quickly shut the door on Zelda.

"What am I doing wrong?" said Zelda anxiously, "I know he loves me, but, I just think he's too shy! Does he think it's a joke? Because it's not! Maybe he's just hiding the fact that he loves me and-"

"I don't love you!" shouted Pit from inside his room.

"Yes, he's in denial," said Zelda smugly.

The End

Disclaimer: The Super Smash Brothers characters are the property of Nintendo.