Unrequited Love
By Hoogiman

Chapter Eight
Zelda and Pit

Zelda sat there, placed on her table, trying to figure out a poem that she could write to dedicate to her love.

"I am lost for words," said Zelda, smiling in admiration, "There is so much to love about him! His angelic voice, his angelic way that he changes in front of his mirror and poses!"

Zelda looked at her computer screen, showing footage from the secret webcam she installed in Pit's room.

"His angelic touch, his angelic glow around him," said Zelda, "But I have no idea how to start my poem!"

Link walked into the room, holding a piece of paper, reciting, "Zelda, I am lost for words, there is so much to love about you."

Link grinned at Zelda hopefully, trying to put on his serious-poetic face.

"I love your angelic voice, your angelic touch, your angelic glow," said Link, playing a harp tune that he had practiced for the last six years, waiting up until this moment.

Zelda stared blankly at Link. "Link, that's sweet, but I don't love you. In fact, I loathe you, the entire time it has been a lie!"

Link ignored Zelda, and continued, "I love the angelic way you change in front of your mirror and the angelic way that you-"

"That's enough!" said Zelda angrily, hitting Link with a chair leg dozens of times.

Zelda stole Link's poem.

"Sucker," she laughed, "All of that hard effort and I just steal it!"

Zelda cackled evilly, and ran into Pit's room.

"Pit?" said Zelda, trying to sound as sweet as she could, "I dedicated a poem to you, my love!"

Zelda put her blood-stained hand on Pit's cheek, smothering his face in Link's blood.

"AAAAGH! THE BLOOD! IT BURNS!" screamed Pit, rolling on the floor.

"I love your angelic voice, your angelic touch, your angelic glow," said Zelda, oblivious to Pit's violent movement.

"OH GAWD THIS IS MY ONLY WEAKNESS: HUMAN BLOOD! WE'RE DOOMED ZELDA I TELL YOU, DOOMED!" screamed Pit, "I AM THE SINGLE GUARDIAN-"

"I love the angelic way you change in front of your mirror and the angelic way that you pose," said Zelda, trying to sound as sweet as she could.

"So that's what that webcam was doing in my room!" said Pit angrily, stopping the violent 'oh noes we're doomed' actions.

…

…

"I thought you were saying the world was doomed two minutes ago," said Zelda angrily.

"Well it is!" said Pit angrily.

…

…

"Well can I make out with you if we're doomed?" said Zelda hopefully.

…

"Um… well we're not actually as doomed as I made it out to be," said Pit, trying to avoid all contact with Zelda.

"Well can I 'not actually as make out as a make out but nonetheless a make out anyway make out' with you?" said Zelda.

"No," said Pit, slamming the door on Zelda's face.

Zelda started to cry.

"There, there," said Link, "Everything will be fine. Do you want to kiss?"

"Sure," said Zelda, holding up a Pit mask.

"Uh…" said Link, confused, "Why are you holding up that?"

"Wear it, I say! I am a princess!" said Zelda, force feeding Link the mask.

Link choked to his death.

"Oh," said Zelda.

The End

Disclaimer: The Super Smash Brothers characters are the property of Nintendo.