An Alternative to Crazy
Chapter 2: Jail House Blues
By the next day, the news of the Eds and Jonny's disappearance had discovered with no clues found, except for the wreckage of their Ferris wheel. By the time of the news release, there was another attack involving Inspector Clouseau. Just that morning, he was shopping at a costume store for disguises, and was handed a bomb, which he realized it was in ten seconds, and destroyed half the block and he serviced. He is now talking (battered and bruised) with his boss, Chief Inspector Dreyfus, who despises him all ready.
"I tell yeah, invariant powers are at work, the instant you assign me to a case, the underworld hears about it, and I am setup upon" explained Clouseau to his boss as he laughs slightly because he's listening to an idiot.
"The owners of the store are in hospital, the blast nearly blow their skin off, it is amazing that I am still alive" said Clouseau.
"Amazing is not the word" said Dreyfus.
"Do I detect something in your voice that I am in trouble with you" asked Clouseau.
"Yes, I wish you were dead" said Dreyfus mad.
"Well, everyone is entitling to an opinion" said Clouseau.
"And you are not, out, out of my sight" yelled Dreyfus.
"You want me to leave" said Clouseau confused.
Dreyfus stands up with a mad look on his face, "If you are not out of this room in five second, I will not be responsible for my actions."
"Five seconds is nothing, I can easily be out of here in three…" said Clouseau.
Dreyfus pulls out a gun as Clouseau continues "… but if you really want to leave …" Dreyfus points the gun at Clouseau "I've had enough" he pulls the trigger but a small flame comes out, reveling to be a lighter.
"Ohh, I see you still have that gun lighter your wife gave you, of course my instance told me that… um…" said Clouseau as his boss sitting down under stress "want is the matter, do you not feel weal?"
"High Blood-Pressure, I am taking my pill, your killing me" said Dreyfus.
"Perhaps some water" said Clouseau as he fills up the cup with a pitcher, when the top of it came off and spills water on Dreyfus's pants, causing him to be more annoyed as Clouseau tries to dry him off, Dreyfus reaches into another cabinet and grabs the real gun points it at Clouseau again, but does go off.
"Most likely out of fluid, perhaps you would like me to fill it for you" said Clouseau as Dreyfus sit down more stressed than ever.
"No just, just go away" said a stressed Dreyfus.
"Yes, alright Inspector, I will leave, but remember, I will be at your survive, night or day, of course I will be on the case of those missing characters, unfortunately I believe there will be a difference in time, hmm, my watch seems to have stopped, probably do to the explosion" said Clouseau.
Dreyfus then tries one more time with the gun, which doesn't seem to work "You need a new flint" calms Clouseau.
"Well Chief Inspector, until we meet again and the case is solved" said Clouseau as he leaves leaving Dreyfus in the room with a headache.
Dreyfus then looks at his gun to see want happened, but as soon as he starts banging it on the table, it goes off in his face. His assistant hears and runs in only to see Dreyfus on the floor looking at him with only his left face showing "Don't just stand there you idiot, call a doctor, and then help me find my nose!"
Later, Clouseau arrives at his apartment to receive word where to meet for an update of the character disappearances when he pauses, he looks around, he knows that his assistant Cato is hiding somewhere to ambush him. He puts up his hand in a karate pose, and starts to slowly walk around the apartment, looking each room. Just as he goes in to the main room, and let's down his guard, Cato jumps him. Clouseau gets up; he backs up, and jumps, heading right at Cato with his foot as if in slow motion, Cato dodges, and Clouseau heads right into the wall, and breaks through it. As he gets up, all covered in dry wall, the phone rings, Cato answers it and hand it to Clouseau, "It's for you".
Clouseau grabs it and says hello, he listen to the man and hangs up.
"Well Cato, I will be meeting at the Toon Town at 7:00PM tonight" said Clouseau as he puts up his arms in that pose again, as Cato does the same.
"You know Cato, your selling ambush ploy, I really congratulate you, but Cato, your fly is undone" said Clouseau as he up kicks Cato in the face, sanding him into the hole in the wall.
"And so, my dear friend are you" said Clouseau as he walks away to get changed.
Just about this time, the Eds and Jonny (still knocked out) had just arrived at what seemed to be a jailhouse.
Eddy then woke up to see two Stormtroopers carrying them in a distinctly made cage through a hallway "Hay, what's with the cage!" shouted Eddy.
"Silence, you will be in your cell soon enough" said the Stormtrooper.
Jonny wakes up "What's going on Eddy."
"Some pharmacist convention, I think" said Eddy.
"You don't even know what a pharmacist is, do you Eddy" said Edd.
"I don't know, their wearing white aren't they" said Eddy.
"Ohh, can we get back to the task at hand here…" shouted Edd as they had reach the room the Stormtrooper were looking for, which turns out to be a dark circular prison room with 16 cells and one small circle one in the center "… were being dragged from our home again, by force we have no control over, and your just worried about their clothes!"
"Amateurs, Double-D, don't make me laugh" said Ed.
The Stormtroopers then reached an empty jail cell and open it with a small card key, they then open the Ed's cage "Here your cell" said one of the Stormtroopers as they both swing the cage, causing the Eds and Jonny to go flying into the cell into the cold wall (Ed, flattening Edd in the process) as the Stormtroopers start to laugh "I hope you enjoy your stay, enjoy it whale it late" laugh one Stormtrooper.
Eddy then loses his temper, and charges at the two laughing soldiers, just as he reaches them; they slam the door in his face. They then continue to laugh as they lock the door and walk out.
"Wait till I get my hands on them" mumbled Eddy madly.
"Where do you think we are Double-D" asked Jonny.
Edd then looked out a radically small cell window "We appear to be on a mountainous prison complex, on the outskirts of Toon Town" said Edd when suddenly they hear a familiar voice from the cell left of them.
"Well, well, if it isn't the old Eds and their melon headed friend Jonny, do you remember Max" said the mysterious voice.
"Who could forget three kids that just made friends with a boy whose best friend is a piece of wood" said another voice.
"Oh, please no" said Edd nervously.
Suddenly the lights in the next cell turned on to reveal the ones in the next cell to be Sam and Max: Freelance Police "Hi Eds" said Sam and Max grinning menially.
The Eds scream at the sight of them and move back, only for the light to turn on in the next cell, they turn around to see three small clowns like faces looking at them, until they realized who it was, the Warner brothers and their sister Dot "Hi, Eds."
The Eds back up, even shocked than ever, and only to be literally, friendly shocked by Sam's Taser.
"Ha, Ha, still as jumpy and stupid tic as ever" said Sam.
"I can see Edd still has that suction from that sock on your head" said Max.
"So, how are you doing, are you doing great, bad, oh, did you ever tell those kids about your new found friendship with 2X4 and his little friend" said Yakko.
"Oh, I would just love to see look on those kids faces" said another familiar from the cell next's to the Warners cell, which is The Mask, and Genie from Aladdin.
"I bet their going to pile driving them into the Mantle when their down with them" said Genie while he demonstrates what the kids would do to them with a hammer on The Mask.
"Oh and Double-D, you still that suction from that sock" said The Mask.
"Ok, how many of you guys from last time are here" asked Edd a little annoyed.
"Well, there's Mr. Game & Watch in the cell over there" said Sam pointing 4 cells away from the Eds. Sure enough there he was, a flat, black, and waving in a LCD style.
"That it, from now on, I want strait answer, why are we here" yelled Eddy through the bars.
"Oh, will you just lighting up" shouted a loud cranky voice 7 cells to the left of the Eds.
The Eds and Jonny, look over to see Slappy Squirrel in the cell "Slappy, how… why are you here" ask Edd.
"That's want I'd like to know, this website keeps giving me money to appear in this kid's story" said Slappy annoyed "Alright, hang on, I got a couple of lines here" said Slappy as she pulls out her reading glasses and a script that says "An Alternative to Crazy", "Chapter 2: Jail House Blues."
Slappy: "We are being held by the horrific Judge Doom and several other power crazy characters.
"But, why" asked Edd.
"I don't know, I lost the other page, now if you excess me, I'll be back, I need to settle some things with the directors" said Slappy as she starts to stomps angrily to a stage door in the back of her cell "I can't believe I'm doing this for scale, Hay Where's My $464 Dollars!!!, ah, I got to get a new agent" screamed Slappy as she slammed the door behind her. But not too long after she left, she came back only to say…
"Oh, and Double-D, that sock still has too much suction to your head" said Slappy as she closed the door again.
"I know about suction" shouted Edd.
"You think that's everyone Double-D" asked Jonny.
"Well, we've never met" said yet another voice from a huge cell two cells to the right.
It was, in no bigger timing, the Muppets, and apparently in some cosmic way, some Sesame Street characters.
"When will it end?" said Eddy.
"Hay guys, look whose here…" said one of the last voices.
The Eds look to the cell to see the jelly bean cabin from Camp Lazlo.
"…It our good friends The Eds, we haven't seen you since the last Cartoon Network Annual Cabin Fever Field Day games" said Lazlo.
"Yes, you three were doing great with the Lunchbox throw, until big Ed there threw it back too far and put your winning chances to oblivion" said Raj.
"OBLIVION!" shouted Clam.
"Oh, and look at our new friends we just meet" said Lazlo pointing to the cell next to them reveling SpongeBob and Patrick.
"Da Hahaha, you were right Lazlo, they do look funny" laughed SpongeBob pointing to the Eds.
"Yeah, and the one with orange shirt has a sock stuck to his head" said Patrick pointing to Edd.
As they laugh, Eddy has no taken as much as he could and would like to end it right now, "Ed, nock some sense into me … and make it hard" said Eddy lending his head over to Ed in a stress out voice. Ed then reacts to this by doing exactly that, hitting Eddy repeatedly in the head.
Everyone then watched with expressions on their face that says that "that must hurt", although Slappy is watching it in enjoyment whale eating popcorn and…
"Hay, I'm on my break, will yah" said Slappy.
Meanwhile, whale another prisoner gets lifted into the center cell, (which to Fozzie's dismay happens to be Statler and Waldorf) The Weasels have gone off to meet with their boss in his private study. They enter with caution as they open the creaky door into a small liberty, which is filled with books that are all about different characters in Toon Town and Sitcom and their everyday lives. There was a light fireplace with three chairs in front of it with someone sitting in each one.
"What is it" said the person in the middle chair in a cold dark voice.
The Head Weasel then gets up the nerve to speak up "Were sorry to report this boss, but second attempt to eliminate Inspector Clouseau were unsuccessful" said the Head Weasel nervously.
"But it wasn't our fault, he sneezed and ducked every time we got a good a shot at him" said another weasel.
The dark figure rose from his seat "I know".
"Oh…well… if you know, then we'll just be on our way" said the Head Weasel nervously as he turns to the door.
"Wait… Clouseau may be a idiot, but that doesn't mean he is a easy to catch, why do you think I told you to get all these ridiculous characters, they would get in the way of my plan if they weren't captured, now go and get rid of that idiot, NOW!" shouted the Dark figure.
"Yes sir" said the weasel as they rushed out.
"Everything is falling into place perfectly" the figure said as he sat back down.