No. Bleach is not mine.

Blood and Rage

When Hitsugaya came to he was lying face down on the ground…if you could call it ground. All was black. He couldn't see anything, but somehow he knew he was awake.Instinctively he put his hand to his right shoulder and rubbed. There was so much pain. What happened? He glanced at his unblemished, slender fingers, turning his hand over. No blood…but the pain remained. He wasn't dead. He wasn't even wounded. What the hell is going on? What am I doing in this place? The surrounding darkness felt claustrophobic as he sat, unmoving, trying to comprehend. If he could just see something-- look around, gain his bearings…he'd be OK. But…how did he get here?
"Hitsugaya…kun…"

That voice. Like a dream, it sounded so familiar. It belonged to someone important…but who?
Hinamori! Suddenly he remembered. The scenes before he had blacked out flashed through his mind. His heart pounded in his chest as he realized that he had almost forgotten…and that the pain, like before, was hers. He had to find her. Frantic, Hitsugaya jumped up and ran toward the decaying echo. It came from over here… He slowed to a stop, and a quiet whimper penetrated the stillness that hung in the air. No…over there… "Hinamori!" He called for her, but he received no answer from the encompassing darkness.

Minutes passed. There was nothing but silence.
Then a hesitant whisper broke the stillness. "…A…Aizen…taichou…?"

The small captain stopped in his tracks. Something was happening…he could feel it coming. Like electricity in the air before a terrible storm. The hair on his arms and neck stood straight up as the image materialized a short distance in front of him. His heart skipped a beat when he saw her. Hinamori, dressed in her black shinigami uniform, about 50 meters away. Her left forefinger was pressed timidly to her lips, and her other hand rose to join it in disbelief. Hitsugaya could see the glint of tears welling in her eyes. Despite the surrounding blackness, he could see her clearly. She sobbed, the sound hollow and contrasting the otherwise heavy silence. "Hinamori…?" he whispered, and reached out a hand to test whether or not she was real.

She started forward toward him. Hitsugaya's heart leapt from his chest as he held his arms out to receive her. Finding her meant that there was a chance that they would make it out.They could finally leave these shadows behind. Hinamori reached him but passed right through like he was some phantom. Hitsugaya could feel her as they collided, wrenching his gut from him and taking his breath away with it. Did she go through him or he through her? He couldn't tell. Was it really her? The shock was painted plainly on his face as his mind tried to grasp what had just happened. He knew it wasn't possible, and yet it felt very real. He turned, expecting to find only nothingness, and choked.

Directly behind him stood the tall, looming figure of Aizen…with Hinamori wrapped in his arms…smiling. She was running to him! Wasn't she aware of what he did to her! Unohana had said she was. Maybe she didn't see him. Maybe…but the constant ache that was deep in his chest began to dissipate. Her pain. It was always Aizen with whom Hinamori felt the safest. She would always run to him late at night when her mind was plagued with worry and doubt. Aizen had always been her refuge from those thoughts. And apparently…he still was.

A large hand combed its way through her dark hair and she nuzzled closer to the tall captain's chest. Hitsugaya's knees hit the ground. He merely stared. How could she? After all he put her through? Aizen's smile widened. It was so unsettling. He put on those glasses and became just like everyone else. He had played the game, blended in, fooled everyone. But Hitsugaya knew the real monster behind the mask. An unimaginable power hidden with a smile.

Alone again, the white-haired captain hung his head, crushed.
"…Aizen-taichou," he heard her whisper lovingly to the man who held her.
Those words tore at his heart. How could she not see him? He was right there, her childhood friend. He had always been waiting in the shadows. And she never noticed. It was only Aizen. It's still only Aizen. Hitsugaya slowly lifted his head and forced himself to look at them again. It had to be another illusion…but the pain was so real…as was the anger that boiled inside.

Aizen's smile grew wider still as he pulled her closer. "Forgive me, Hinamori-kun, for making you worry so." No sooner had he finished speaking, than a sputtering choke echoed and disappeared into the nothingness around them. Hitsugaya's heart stopped in his chest; he couldn't see what happened, but he knew that the sound came from her. Her hands, which had once rested peacefully against her captain's chest, splayed and suddenly grasped his robes in an effort to brace her body as her knees buckled. Hitsugaya was frozen to the spot. He knew what was coming but…he couldn't move. He wanted to run to her, to stopthis madness; to shout to her to wake up, but his voice wouldn't work. Hitsugaya tried to get up, but it was as if some unseen force was holding him to the spot…laughing at him…whispering, "Allow me to show you what you missed that day."

NO! He gaped as she hunched slightly. Then the grisly truth hit him in the face as the cloth that was stretched across her back bulged, and the tip of a sword forced its way out between her shoulder blades. The pain…her pain flooded through him, and he could do nothing to stop it. He watched in horror as the blade disappeared inside her, and emerged again through her other shoulder as she choked. He saw the sword burst from her back as if in slow motion, scattering droplets of her warm blood like rain upon his skin. The rain…The rain hasn't stopped. He flinched as it showered his cheek. Again. Again. He could hear Aizen laughing…that calm, hushed chuckle which Hitsugaya had come to despise. His world came crashing down as he was forced to watch Aizen's blade, steeped in her blood, penetrate her body over and over again without resistance. Inside his mind he could hear himself screaming her name, when all of a sudden…"HINAMORI!"…his voice had returned.

The sword stopped. Aizen's slippery smile greased its way across his face. He clutched Hinamori's limp body by her collar in one hand and held it out to the kneeling captain in front of him. Her head lolled toward Hitsugaya and the look on her face hit him straight in the gut, leaving him nauseous and out of breath. Speckled with blood, her face stretched in a silent scream, but only air escaped her lips—no, through the holes in her chest where Suigetsu had penetrated her lungs. Her eyes, first wide and filled with the shock of betrayal, slowly rolled to the back of her head as the lids slid halfway shut. The rest of her features gradually relaxed. The she was still.

Despair enveloped him as Hitsugaya lost control and his emotions spiraled downward. He looked at her lifeless face and the rivulets of blood trickling from her open mouth, and slowly put a finger to his own cheek. What he felt there turned this whole nightmare into a harsh reality. Red…blood. Both his hands flew to his face. He felt the warm, wet substance already beginning to clot, and panic rushed through him. He slid his palms upward in horror, smearing the thick fluid across his face. For just a moment he was grateful for the relief the darkness gave as his hands passed over his eyes and shielded him from her face. Up, up, her blood stained his skin. He looked at his hands, now caked in it. Then…he laughed; Histugaya never laughed. That sound was foreign to his lips, but this…an eerie, high-pitched giggle, was even more unbefitting. His trembling fingers seized clusters of his snowy white hair. He was no longer the calm, composed captain others thought him to be. His voice cracked. Half laughing, half sobbing he doubled over, and pulled at his hair, hoping to wrench his mind back to reality. His once beautiful and pure white hair was now streaked in dark red, and his face now savagely covered with it.

He opened his eyes, and finding himself still there, still in pain, still gazing at the sickening expression on the dead girl's face, he threw his head back and screamed, a horrifying, gut-wrenching screech that paralleled his grotesque appearance. Hitsugaya let himself go for what felt like minutes when finally, out of breath, he lurched forward onto his hands gasping for air. He looked up just in time to see Aizen release Hinamori's collar. Her limp body crumpled as it fell to the ground in a heap. With nothing left to lose, Hitsugaya had nothing left to feel but anger.

"Finally acting your age, eh? Hitsugaya-taichou? Crawling on the floor where you belong." Aizen sounded amused. Hitsugaya rose up on his knees to face the sadistic betrayer. As before, the escalating rage cleared his mind. He slowly began to get a hold of himself. As Aizen laughed, Hitsugaya realized for the first time that his white kimono was gone. Replacing it was his shinigami uniform, captain's cloak, and Hyourinmaru slung on his back. As he looked around, he noticed that the pillar-like, four-sided towers of the underground chamber outside Room 46 had already appeared…

A tinge of déjà vu tickled his skin as he recognized the scene about to play out. Hinamori lay at their feet in a pool of blood that was slowly seeping into the rest of her uniform, turning it a more sinister black than before. Hitsugaya squatted on one knee, shaking with rage. Aizen stood looking down at him with that oily smile. They both stared at each other. Minutes passed by heedlessly, until Aizen broke his intense gaze and strode forward. The crunching sound that followed echoed in the wide space. Hitsugaya's eyes were immediately drawn down to the floor. Aizen's left foot rested heavily on Hinamori's fingers as she lay there, already broken. He paused only a moment before lifting his weight and kicking her body out of the way like a rag doll. It made a sickening thud as it sprawled across the floor five meters away.

Hitsugaya's mind went blank. Rage was the only thing alive in him now. His eyes widened and the ice crystals that once dwelled there shattered, revealing a cold blue flame that glowed brightly in the dimness. His right hand grasped Hyourinmaru from over his shoulder as the chill spread through his veins, not calming him this time, but fueling his rage with adrenaline. As he unsheathed the ice zanpakutou, white light flashed and a freezing steam-like fog erupted from the sword's sheath and billowed past Aizen who seemed unaffected by it. Hitsugaya growled the words that had been longing to fall from his lips. "Ban…kai!"

Ice began to spread from the sword's handguard. It enveloped Hitsugaya, freezing his torso and shoulders in serrated spikes, growing further still to form two huge jagged wings and a long serpentine tail. It crawled across the ground freezing the whole hall into dark crystal. His right hand, now a claw of ice, gripped Hyourinmaru tightly. The four-pointed handguard had grown to an eight-pointed star. "Daiguren Hyourinmaru!" At those words, an explosion shook the chamber causing Aizen to change position in order to dodge the growing fissure in the floor.
"Aizen…I'm going to kill you."

Aizen smiled. "Don't use such strong words. It makes you look weak," he chuckled. Hitsugaya recognized this scene. He had relived it in his dreams during his recovery from this very incident. He knew he shouldn't continue. He would only be playing into Aizen's hands if he did. But somehow Hitsugaya couldn't stop himself. It was fight or flight, and he knew he couldn't run. He wouldn't run. Maybe…just maybe he could win this time. Pay Aizen back for all the pain and mental anguish he had caused Hinamori. After all…Hitsugaya had nothing left to lose.

He charged. He aimed Hyourinmaru for the strike when the thought hit him like lightning. Even IF I could defeat Aizen here it means nothing!This is an illusion! He had let himself get carried away again.

That hesitation was just long enough. Aizen's counter was swift. Hitsugaya struck but Aizen was already gone. He had sliced right through the smaller captain's shoulder, shattering the ice that enveloped him. Hitsugaya glanced down at the deep, clean gash running diagonally from his right shoulder to his abdomen. He cursed himself for going too far and getting swept up in Aizen's illusion. Pain flooded his body…his own pain this time. It radiated outward from his slashed torso, as did the blood that gushed freely from the open wound. It stained his white captain's cloak a dark crimson. His vision blurred and he fell to the floor. All was black again.

A timid voice woke him. Hitsugaya blinked. He was lying on his back in the grass and there was…blue sky above him? The clouds rolled slowly past. "Hitsugaya...kun?" He turned his head and saw… He gasped.

"Hinamori!" She was sitting on his left, staring down with tears in her eyes. She was alright? Unlike before, the images of the previous fight remained clear in his mind. Hinamori's wounds seemed to have disappeared as if nothing had happened. Another illusion…? He remembered. God damnit. Was this what she was going through this whole time? Never-ending, just one horror after another! He gritted his teeth, angry thoughts turning toward Aizen and his sadistic game.

"Hitsugaya-kun…are you OK?" The desperation in Hinamori's voice brought him back.
"I'm…fine." His mind searched for words, but before he knew it his mouth rushed off without him. "Hinamori, you've got to listen to me."
Concern crossed her face. "What is it, Hitsugaya-kun?"
Now was his chance. He tried to be as frank as possible. "This is just an illusion. Aizen did something to you and now he's–"

His voice trailed away when he saw the changed expression on her face at the mention of her former captain's name. She slowly stood, backing away from him. "Hinamori…what…" He sat up and moved to follow her, pushing himself up with his hands. But the ground beneath them changed as he did so. The grass shrank away to reveal a polished, hardwood floor. White structures…buildings rose up around them- one notably tall one at the end of the walkway upon which they now stood. Hitsugaya, kneeling now with his back to it, looked incredulously at the sudden fear in Hinamori's eyes and turned to follow her vision upward.

He saw a figure appear toward the top of the building. It was a shinigami captain…with glasses, who seemed to be glued onto the face of the white wall. Then a zanpakutou materialized in the middle of the man's chest apparently pinning him there. A crimson stain leaked through his uniform around the spot where the blade met his skin. The stain grew and began to smear down the wall from the exit wound on his back. The mass of blood rolled down the white wall in a straight, thick line getting thinner as it reached the bottom. Hitsugaya stared. …Aizen…!

The sky suddenly darkened and the menacing grey clouds began to swirl high above. Hitsugaya turned back to look at Hinamori, but fear gripped him when he saw the changed creature now standing before him, sword drawn. Hinamori's head was down, both hands gripping her sword in front of her, and the now darkened sky shadowed her face so that her eyes were not visible. "Hina…mori…?" Hitsugaya ventured, and reached out his hand to her. At this, her head snapped up, tears streaking her face. There was pain and anger in her eyes…those eyes… Suddenly Hitsugaya remembered…that day.

He had sought out Ichimaru Gin that day thinking that he would be Hinamori's target after she broke out of her cell. He found Gin easily…but Hinamori had arrived shortly after, looking for her captain's killer. Hitsugaya had expected her to draw and attack Ichimaru. But what she had really intended was to accuse her childhood friend…of murder.

"YOU!" she screamed. Hitsugaya was surprised to find himself at the ready, sword already drawn. He didn't even remember standing up. Before he could speak any words to calm her, she lunged, and all he could do was watch in shock as Tobiume's point pushed itself deep into his chest. He dropped Hyourinmaru, pain returning…filling him. He reached with a shaking hand and gripped Tobiume's blade, the sharp edge cutting into his fingers. His blood ran down the sword and dripped off the handguard. Hinamori's eyes never changed. She held the sword, her gaze intense. Hitsugaya tried to speak but the words caught in his through and he only managed a sputtering choke before the blood that had been collecting in his penetrated lung gushed forth from his mouth.

She pushed harder. The blade cut his hand as it slid past. He felt the blade scrape against his bones, cracking his ribs and slicing through his insides. He coughed with the pain that seared his chest now. More blood poured from his mouth. He clenched his teeth and hissed as the tip of the sword found the solid bone of his shoulder blade and stopped there, grating against it. Her brow furrowed in frustration and anger, and Hinamori drove Tobiume further, forcing the sword in until the handguard dug into his chest. Hitsugaya cried out as the tip cleaved the solid bone and then burst through his back. He couldn't feel anything but pain. The pain of her blade…the pain of her distrust.

But…no…this wasn't her. There had to be some way to get to her. Some way to find the real Hinamori and get away from these illusions. Aizen's trick was just toying with him. Somehow he was caught in his own nightmare. How much more time did he have? It couldn't be much. Whatever the case, he didn't have time to be wandering around anymore and wasting what time he did have.

His grip tightened on Tobiume's blade as he pushed it out from his bleeding chest. He felt the sword cutting through everything again, but this time he closed the pain off in the back of his mind. He shoved the sword back and the force made Hinamori stumble backward a few steps. He paused to catch his breath. It was time to stop playing around.