Chapter One Hundred Three
Nicky's lips curved into a mirroring smile; she pulled Lorna closer and planted a hot kiss over her perky lips. "Mm, is that right?" Her voice nearly purred against Lorna's lips once the kiss had gently been released. Another heated smashing of their mouths followed directly after the comment spilled from her mouth and before either of them knew it, Nicky had Lorna lovingly pinned up against the tiled-wall behind her. Hands moved from her shoulders up to her face framing around each pale cheek.
Their eyes locked together the same time their lips did. It was a fervent, passionate, touching of their mouths. Soft and warm while also filled with a burning desire to never release from one another. One of Nicky's hands moved to behind Lorna's head cradling protectively around the crown of it. Fingers softly raked through strands of her thick brown waves. The touch only closened the distance between them and made it rather easy for their lips to remain pressed together.
The kiss continued to deepen until both girls' were desperately in need of air. They pulled reluctantly apart and instead pressed their bare fronts together as a means for closeness. Lorna let her head slightly fall onto Nicky's shoulder, turning it just enough to be able to peck a warm kiss upon the flesh of her cheek. She smiled when she noticed goosebumps forming on her skin. Another kiss she pressed to her cheek before throwing both of her arms around Nicky's waist, pulling her closer to her own body.
"You're cold?" Lorna hummed out, eyes shifting up onto Nicky's. She waited for a nonverbal response to be given in the form of Nicky's head gradually bobbing up and down. After, she secured her arms on her waist and brought Nicky's head down to her chest. "Well, I'll keep ya warm honey. It's my turn to hold you. Under this lovely hot shower water…this has to be what heaven is like. I don't want to ever leave from in here. This is the most amazing thing. Holding the most angelic person I've ever met in the best shower I've ever taken."
With her arms keeping Nicky pressed into her, Lorna glanced around the area and was amazed by such astonishing craftmanship. She couldn't imagine the hours, the work that went into creating this bathroom—let alone the entire house. It had to have been one of the most physically exhausting jobs out there. But by how it turned out, it was certainly worth all the effort put in. "Alex and her mom musta never slept to make such a beautiful home like this…and this bathroom, it's better than them fancy hotels. Alex should be an interior designer don't ya think, hon?"
A warm chuckle sounded through Nicky's windpipe precisely the same moment she nodded her agreement. She pressed a soft kiss onto the chin hovering at the level of her eyes. "I think that'd be a good-suited job for her. Hell, maybe if she does that and when you and I are adults we could have her build our house yeah?"
Eyes sparkled widely in their lids. Lorna pulled back slightly to give a serious, heartfelt, stare into Nicky's eyes. "Build us a house, hmm? Does that mean ya think we'll be together even…even after high school?" Her voice gradually drifted off at the end. She traced a finger delicately along the cheek her hand was framed around while trying to conceal the swirling emotions. Swirling emotions that made her heart burst so heavily in her chest she wouldn't have been shocked at all if it happened to fall out right then and there.
Laughing warmly, Nicky nodded her head in an enthusiastic manner as she leaned closer to place a second tender kiss on Lorna's chin. Lorna's chin her eyes found to be the absolute most precious thing just as she did the rest of Lorna and Lorna's body. "Yeah, of course we will be. Why wouldn't we, babe? I love you and you love me—it's obvious we both wanna be with each other so I don't see any reason we won't still be together even after high school. Hell, I wanna be an old lady with ya someday. Ya know? Two old ladies sitting on our porch yellin' for the neighborhood kids to stop throwing their empty soda cans on our lawn," she murmured, lips instantly curving up in a smile as she pulled slightly away so that the two of them could press their foreheads together.
Tears suddenly spilled out from the brim of Lorna's eyelids; she strengthened her arms around the frame of Nicky's body and slid down onto the base of the tub which inadvertently caused Nicky to go down with her. The two sat, arms around one another, while the water from the showerhead poured down on them akin to a waterfall. Lorna could hardly see clearly due to the multitude of tears running along her cheeks. Elated tears to know Nicky saw a future with her. A future way beyond their teenage years—it seemed almost too good to be true. She still couldn't make sense of how someone she deemed perfect like Nicky could even ponder the idea of being with someone like herself. Someone who caused a tornado anywhere she fucking went. But yet here she sat, Nicky pressed up to her…water raining down on them as they sat just as bare as they came into this world…contemplating about their future relationship—two elderly women yelling for the children in their future neighborhood to get off their lawn. A heavenly future was what that was. Any future that had she and Nicky together sounded beyond perfect to Lorna. Yet, also, made her feel incredibly guilty because she would never accept that a person like her was ever deserving or worthy of that kind of happiness. How the hell could she be after the life she led? She was a soiled, damaged, crutch of a human that no one should have to spend their life with. There wasn't a good bone or blood vessel in her body.
The tears did not miss Nicky's eyes. She switched the positioning of their bodies so that Lorna was resting her head on her chest now. Hands combed soothingly through her brown hair, each stroke brought Lorna's head closer underneath where Nicky had her chin lying. Once she felt it right below, she secured Lorna's head with her chin and rocked the pair of them lovingly back and forth. "I didn't mean to upset you, doll. I just wanted you to know I wanna be with you for pretty much ever."
"I'm not upset, hon," Lorna finally spoke up, her voice a bit hoarse from the crying she had done. Having Nicky's chin sitting softly on the top of her head made it easy for her to press her face into the chest right under it. There wasn't a warmer, safer, place Lorna could dream to be than right where she was now. No pair of arms were more loving nor securer than those of her beloved Nicky. Nicky was one of the very few people Lorna trusted wholeheartedly, who she felt such a plethora of compassion and affection from as well as for. "I just—ya left me a bit speechless, a good speechless. I-I just I love ya so much, Nicky and-and it makes me real happy to know you, erm, you wanna be with me until we're old ladies too. I never thought anyone would wanna be with me, especially not someone like you…but, er, ya just keep surprising me and I don't know what to say other than how much I love and adore ya."
Sniffles quickly started up again interrupting Lorna's spiel rather vastly. She had to cover her mouth with her hand to mute the loudness of them. They threatened to come up and expel out as sobs but Lorna did her best to hold them in. The shower was supposed to be of an upbeat nature but now, all of a sudden, her emotions were all over the place and she couldn't tell if she was happy or distraught. So much shit had gone on today her mind was barely able to process it. She remained fucking barely able to process that shit, either. And now she heard Nicky pretty much admit to wanting to spend the rest of their lives together. Which only messed further with her emotions. Added another one to the mix making it even more of a challenge for Lorna to make sense of what exactly she was currently feeling.
There was tension felt in Lorna's spine Nicky swiftly took note of the more she rubbed her hand along its length. Her previously happy disposition quickly transformed into a disheartened one. She brought her palm towards one of the knots she had come across and softly pressed it into the flesh, massaging the same spot over and over until she felt the knot gradually melt away. "Baby, why do ya think no one would wanna be with you? You're the sweetest and kindest person to ever exist. And you're out of this world level of beautiful, both inside and out. Anyone would be lucky to call ya their girlfriend but I'll tell ya I'm beyond grateful that I get to be the one to do so. I love you so fucking much Lorna and I meant every damn word I said. I wanna be an old lady with ya. We can do what ma does and make a kettle a tea on the stove each night, do those boring crosswords she does together. I don't care what we do I just wanna spend my life with you," Nicky concluded, lips pressing onto the flesh of Lorna's forehead.
Lower lip inverted slightly under her top one Lorna couldn't resist the smile both of her lips curved into. "That, erm, that rhymed, hon," her cheeks reddened a tad bit upon releasing such statement from her mouth.
Nicky smirked warmly, arching her eyebrows playfully. "What did, kid?"
"Oh, god, hon," Lorna sheepishly giggled, pressing her face back into Nicky's chest to hide her intensifying red cheeks from her big brown eyes. "You did it again. I don't know why but I just—erm, I love when you rhyme and it's not on purpose. Makes ya sound like a poet and I guess I find that…erm—"
"You find that hot, yeah?" Nicky huskily queried and watched as Lorna's head timidly nodded. The smirk on her face grew though her arms pulled Lorna closer in the tenderest of ways. She bent down to plant a soft kiss over the top of her head. "Well, I find it hot that you find me rhyming like a poet hot. So I guess we're both a little hot right now, huh? Maybe we should turn this shower into a cold one instead?"
Lorna immediately shook her head in protest of Nicky's suggestion. Goosebumps had formed all along her arms and legs by this point, a cold shower certainly wasn't what she needed. Hot and hotter was more to her taste. "Are ya crazy, Nicky? I'm freezing, I like it hot—I rather burn than freeze," she obliviously admitted, not at all catching on to her girlfriend's hinting.
A warm laugh made its way from Nicky's throat as she stood up again, carefully pulling Lorna up with her. She delicately pressed her up against the tiled wall once more and looked widely into her eyes. Lips hovered millimeters from Lorna's. "Oh, baby, I'm not talkin' about a literal cold shower," her voice merely purred against the shorter girl's mouth. She locked their lips together and then slowly released them after a minute long kiss. "I was sayin' let's, you know, get a little promiscuous in here yeah? By the time we're done doin' each other dirty the water will be cold. I wouldn't actually make you stand in cold water, doll. Jesus. Your naivety makes you the cutest prude there ever was, ya know? It makes me love you so much more."
"Promiscuous? Oh, ya wanna do it in the shower huh? Well, as long as we don't damage the tile, we can get a little frisky in here," Lorna chuckled and threw a playful wink Nicky's way.
Nicky needn't wait any longer; she pushed Lorna right back up to the wall behind her and started moving her hand down towards her thighs. "Nothing will be damaged, kid. And that includes you," her voice much gentler than her actions. She stood frozen with her hand resting softly on the flesh of Lorna's upper legs. Eyes peered much more seriously down into Lorna's.
Eyebrows furrowed over squinted brown eyes. "What do ya mean, hon?"
Bringing her other hand up to cup around Lorna's face, Nicky leaned closer until her forehead was pressing gently onto Lorna's. Lips touched lovingly over the corner of the brunette's mouth. Their stares met and Nicky sighed. "We haven't really been intimate since ya talked about the incident with your uncle," her voice gently pointed out, fingers caressing soothingly up and down the length of Lorna's cheek. "I just want to make sure you know you'll be safe with me, yeah? I won't do anything to hurt you. I won't do anything you don't like or don't want done, okay babe?" Nicky pecked her mouth softly against the flesh near the corner of Lorna's.
Lorna swallowed a lump that had recently formed and forced a smile to display on her lips. Her heart suddenly felt heavy—whether from utter compassion for Nicky or from the memories of said incident she was unsure…hell, for all she knew, it could have been a mixture of the two. Regardless, she nuzzled closer to Nicky and pressed her lips delicately onto the tip of her nose. "I know ya would never do anything to make me uncomfortable, hon. You're one of the only people I trust. It means a lot to me how much ya care and everything. You're an angel," the words murmured softly from her mouth. Her mouth that hovered warmly above that of Nicky's.
A sigh escaped the older teen as she closely monitored Lorna and Lorna's behavior, movements. The smile on her face hadn't been hard for Nicky to see right through it. Clearly, Lorna was unsure of her emotions right then. Unsure of how to take in what Nicky had disclosed to her moments earlier. The smile was a façade and Nicky knew it. Lorna was a pro at putting up a façade when it came to her feelings, her pain—traumas.
The palm of Nicky's hand pressed softly into the flesh of the cheek it resided over, drawing slow comforting circles all around it. "No, Lorna, you are the angel," she warmly corrected, placing a kiss on the same spot she just caressed her hand around. "You're an angel and it just—it makes me so mad that anyone would ever think they have the right to hurt you the way you've been hurt. How could anyone, ya know? You're a sweetheart, sweetheart."
While a slow breath expelled from her lungs, Lorna brought both of her shoulders up to either side of her face in a subdued shrug. She couldn't agree with anything Nicky had stated—none of it was true, honest of herself. She was no angel—angels didn't have shit like what she had happen to herself happen to them in the first place. Angels were completely and utterly pure souls. Souls who led lives full of nothing but peace and tranquility. Two things that were sorely lacking from Lorna's. But in light of not wanting to turn this shower into an argument-filled one, she kept all of those bubbling thoughts exactly where they originated from—her mind.
Instead, she forced another smile to sit on her face and smashed her lips right back over Nicky's. She let the kiss linger for another minute or two before reluctantly releasing it. One hand remained gently cupped around one of Nicky's cheeks as her eyes melded into the ones slightly above. "We don't have to worry about that anymore right now, hon. Nobody is hurtin' no one today. Let's just enjoy being naked and hot together in this shower, yeah?"
"Well, damn, all right," Nicky chuckled. She felt Lorna push her up against the wall behind her and sensed both of her cheeks heating up from how red they each were turning. Lips curved into a husky smirk. She locked her hands around Lorna's head, fiercely brushing their lips right back together. "Bold Lorna is hot; I love it," her voice breathily murmured onto Lorna's mouth. "Have your way with me, kid, please. I beg ya too."
Lorna nodded and traced a finger from her cheek down to the edge of her jawline. Mouth touched delicately against the skin of Nicky's jaw, "Are ya beggin' me, huh?" Her eyes watched until Nicky's head gave a fervent nod in response to the question she had asked. Lips twitched into a lustful smirk and Lorna bobbed her head as well. She traced her thumb back towards the flesh under Nicky's eyes, following the trail with her mouth. She pressed her mouth lovingly, but heatedly, onto that same spot she had just caressed. "Well, then, I have no choice but to fulfill your request, isn't that right?"
Words were not something Nicky could coherently get herself to speak. Too stunned, too shocked at how incredibly audacious Lorna was currently being. A side of her she hadn't fully witnessed before. At least not in this intense manner. This was completely new to Nicky, a good new—no, she corrected, an amazing new. It made every part of her body overcome with a fierce pleasure to see Lorna behaving in such an erotic way. Made a sticky sensation suddenly noticeable down between her thighs. Her cheeks instantly reddened once she realized it and a sheepish smirk displayed upon her face.
The sensation of Lorna's hand moving slowly, tenderly, down along her body left goosebumps on every inch of Nicky's flesh. When she felt it nearing her upper thighs and vaginal region she had to dig her feet into the vinyl tub beneath to keep herself steady. Each second Lorna's hand and fingers came closer to her vagina, Nicky's eyes merely rolled back in their sockets to keep from screaming out in pleasure. This wasn't even an orgasm yet and the pleasure was nearly over the top. God, she couldn't imagine how damn good that orgasm would feel. Poor Alex was going to think there was a murder happening in her bathroom from how loud Nicky knew she'd scream out.
A smile spread softly across Lorna's face as she observed the ever changing expression on the redhead's. Fingers stroked delicately along the flesh of her upper thighs, changing the pace each time she witnessed a movement or heard a small whimper of euphoria come sounding through Nicky's throat. She slowly brought them nearer the opening of Nicky's vagina but stopped short of inserting them. It wasn't until she heard the trembling please from her girlfriend's lips that Lorna finally settled on gradually inserting three of her fingers into her vagina.
She stroked along the area right in from the opening, slow but in the tenderest of touches. There was already a wet, sticky, substance falling amongst the top of her fingers which only caused the smile she had previously formed to widen immensely. She continued caressing and stroking and could feel the vibration of Nicky's clitoris from how intense her movements were. More and more of the sticky substance came in contact with each one of her fingers as they moved around the inside of Nicky's vagina.
The longer and more Lorna stroked her the closer to climax Nicky felt herself becoming. Her hands grabbed onto fistfuls of Lorna's hair, she tried not to pull on them but holding onto the hair was the only thing she could do to help her body remain stable. Her legs were so wobbly from the pressure Lorna's fingers were having on her clit and vagina she was afraid if she hadn't held onto something she would fall to the ground right then and there. There was no sensation greater than having Lorna inside of her. It was even better than fucking heaven, she thought, better than a cup of coffee and a million fucking times better than a hit of heroin. Maybe Lorna was her new heroin.
But when she realized the thought that just whirled through her mind, every inch of her body instantly tensed up and everything Lorna was doing to her felt number than her brain fog after smoking a couple hits of weed. Fuck, Nicky thought to herself, she just fucking ruined the moment for the both of them all on her own. With her stupid, dumb, fucking mental thinking. And she was literally a caress away from a damn good orgasm. Now, she couldn't bring herself to enjoy it. Not after she fucking put her sweet, innocent, Lorna on the same pedestal as fucking heroin.
The change of energy was instantly noticed by Lorna. Her movement ceased though her fingers remained inside of Nicky. She moved her head up and glanced concerningly into Nicky's big brown eyes. It wasn't easy for her to read what could possibly have been going through her mind but she did take note of how larger her pupils had suddenly gotten. "Nicky, hon, are ya…are ya okay? Did I hurt you?" Her voice tremored faintly with each word that came from it.
"No, doll, you didn't do anything," Nicky rapidly assured, reaching her hands down towards Lorna's face and taking a cheek in each one. Thumbs soothingly caressed around the flesh of both. "You didn't do anything wrong, baby. I promise. Okay? I just…I, erm, I need an actual cold shower now."
Biting down on the side of her mouth to keep from allowing her lips to tremble, Lorna nodded and fully removed her fingers from Nicky's vagina. She rinsed them off in the warm water and turned to look at Nicky. "Do ya want me to leave, h-hon?"
The way Lorna seemed to be trying too hard to keep her teeth and mouth from chattering nearly broke Nicky's heart. That was all her own doing she knew. She ruined their fucking shower, their intimate moment tonight. A defeated sigh escaped her. She wrapped her arms warmly around Lorna's shivering body and tucked Lorna's head under her chin for a long minute. Lips rested tenderly over the top of one of Lorna's hands that she had lifted up just a second later. "Yes, after I give you this cuddle though," she gently told her, placing another warm kiss to each of her pale knuckles. "But it's not because you did anything, okay? I just need a minute to think, baby, and it has nothing to do with what just happened. So, please, don't sit and overanalyze this. I'm not mad or upset with you, Lorna. I love you."
After pressing several more kisses onto the younger girl's hand and hugging her closer, Nicky reluctantly let her go from her arms and watched with a heavy heart as Lorna timidly removed herself from the tub. Nicky sighed, shameful of what she allowed to occur. Shameful that she let her thoughts come swooping in and ruin their upbeat evening. This wasn't how their shower was supposed to end but now there wasn't anything she could do to change it.
Lorna came out of the bathroom freshly dressed in the pajamas Alex had kindly lent to her, her head bowed down as she walked through the hall back out towards the living room. The soaked, muddy, clothes from earlier bunched up in her hands. Once she entered fully into the room she lifted her head just enough to be able to look Alex straight in the eyes. "Can I, uh, can I have a bag to put these in, please?"
Looking the brunette over, after having set down her book on the coffee table, Alex nodded slowly but gave a concerning stare in her direction. She swiftly got up from the sofa and walked over to Lorna, who remained halfway in the archway between the living room and the hallway. Her hand she used to gesture for Lorna to follow her into the kitchen where she kept the extra plastic bags at. When she heard footsteps behind her, Alex turned towards the kitchen walking all the way into it and over near the backdoor. On the right of it was a tote, hung up on a nail, which held all of her extra bags that she kept from her grocery shopping. Alex reached inside of it and pulled out one of the bags, then turned around and gave it to Lorna.
A sigh huffed out of her as she got a closer look at Lorna now. She folded her arms over her chest and leaned against the rim of the counter that she had gradually moved herself in front of. "Is everything okay, Lorna?" Her concern finally brought to light now that she had a clearer sight of the younger girl. It wasn't too challenging for her to pick up on the very, faintly, off aura surrounding her. Her curiosity was too strong for her to not say anything on the matter.
Lorna quickly placed the balled up clothing into the bag and pulled the plastic strap of it over her shoulder. She swallowed thickly, nodding her head even though she wasn't technically certain if everything had truly been okay. The whole ordeal with Nicky—despite Nicky's assurance she did nothing wrong—had her wondering if she did, in fact, do something to repel her. Had she touched her wrong? Stroked her in a way Nicky hadn't enjoyed? Many questions spun through her mind and she wasn't sure what to make of it.
"Yeah," albeit all the thoughts and questions Lorna settled on her usual response of going against her instincts and putting up a façade. Even forced a smile to her face as she so often had. "Yeah, course', everything's fine. Everything is perfect, just perfect." The pitch of her voice heightened with each word she spoke. It made her even have a hard time believing what she was saying. She sensed a moistening at the bottom of her eyelids and forcefully sucked them back in which in turn caused a loud snuffle to sound through her nostril.
Curving her eyebrows uneasily, Alex only intensified her stare on the girl. The comment certainly hadn't convinced her to believe Lorna. Her stance, demeanor—they both contradicted the response verbally given to her. "Hmm, well, where's Nicky?" She interrogated, looking around to emphasize her wonderment.
"She, um, she's still in the shower." Lorna immediately tilted her head down and focused her eyes on the checkered tile beneath where her feet stood.
"I see," Alex stated with a nod. She continued to watch Lorna and sighed again when the girl just tried to cover up a sniffle that was clearly trying to shake itself from her. "You sure everything's okay?"
Her mind screamed no but Lorna nodded her head regardless. It was lifted back up so her eyes could return the stare Alex was giving her and yet again she pursed her lips into a smile despite wanting to do the complete opposite of that. What she truly wanted to do in that moment was to finally give in to her unrelenting emotions, however, she couldn't bring herself to do that. The façade wouldn't allow it. "Yes, everything is okay. I'm fine, Nicky's fine. My life is fine. It's all fine. So fine, perfectly fine. I couldn't have a finer life if I tried," the words strained from her voice; it was the only way she could talk without letting any emotions from slipping out, too.
Shaking her head in disbelief, Alex walked over to the stove where her teakettle was and grabbed it off the burner. She made her way to the sink, took the lid off of the kettle, and put it under the faucet until the water came up to the four cup mark. Satisfied, Alex took it back to the stove and replaced it on the same burner she originally took it from. She turned the knob for that particular burner, then returned her attention onto Lorna.
Eyes peered intently over the short brunette. Blatant to her eyes the young girl was rather the contradictory of okay as she so profusely kept repeating. Alex drew in a breath and placed a hand on one of her temples. Never once did her stare falter from Lorna. "What's wrong, Lorna? You're not fooling me by continuously saying you're fine. Did something happen between you and Nicky? Did the two a ya get in an argument or somethin'?"
Lorna swallowed thickly and shook her head. Feet shifted uncomfortably against the floor. "No, nothin' happened," she said, waving a hand in the air. "That's what Nicky said but-but I think I…I feel like I did something wrong and I-I don't understand."
"Okay, why don't ya tell me what happened? Maybe I can help you figure it out, yeah?" Alex softened her voice, cautiously walking closer to Lorna and resting a comforting hand on her shoulder.
A visible gulp Lorna swallowed down. Her shoulders slightly recoiled upward. "I was, um, I was about to give her an orgasm and she just got all quiet—I think I messed up and didn't please her right, Alex. I—I'm no good for her…she musta finally realized that—"
The comment was quickly interrupted by a fierce embrace being given to her. Alex wrapped Lorna's now quivering body in her arms, pulling her closer. "Nicky loves you so much…she would never think that of you. You shouldn't think that of yourself, honey."