Chapter Three
"Sure." Ziva nodded as she swept some hair off Thomas' forehead and continued to watch him sleep. "Do you see a Woody around any where?"
"What?" Tony chocked out confused with bugged eyes.
"Woody, from Toy Story Tony." Ziva laughed at the horrified look on his face.
"Oh." Tony laughed nervously as he looked around the room and spotted the stuffed toy on the table. "This is still creepy, Ziva."
"Yes I know." Ziva smiled as she took the doll from Tony. The toy was plush with huge brown eyes, a small nose, and the handkerchief covering Woody's mouth. The rest was the normal Woody attire. "But he loves it."
"If I remember correctly, I gave him to you." Tony said as he watched Ziva tuck the doll next to Thomas. Thomas stirred and cuddled himself up against the stuffed doll.
"You did." Ziva smiled as she stood from the bed and turned towards Tony. "Thomas loved him so I gave it to him."
"That was nice of you." Tony said as he looked past Ziva to the sleeping boy. "I bought him for you when I took you to see Toy Story 3."
"I remember." Ziva said as she glanced back to Thomas then led Tony out to the balcony. "It was one of your ways of apologizing for missing my ceremony."
"Yeah." Tony nodded as Ziva sat in one of the chairs and he leaned against the railing, looking out at Rock Creek Park. "It was the forth of July 2010 and you fought me every step."
"I did not want to go." Ziva smiled at the memory. "I was still so mad at you and it was my first forth of July as an American."
"And you didn't want to spend it with me?" Tony teased.
"That is not what I said." Ziva sighed as she leaned against the chair.
"And 3 years later-." Tony started but trailed off as he looked back at Ziva.
"Thomas was born." Ziva grinned.
"What was he like, as a baby?" Tony asked as he turned back to Ziva and slid down the railing to sit on the ground.
"Colicky." Ziva said. "And he did not like to sleep. Even after he got over the colic. He would just lay there and watch me."
"How'd you manage?" Tony asked as he rubbed his hands over his face.
"I cried a lot." Ziva laughed but Tony didn't find it amusing.
"What was his first word?"
"Mama." Ziva smiled proudly as she toyed with her Star of David necklace. "He was mad at me because I forgot his bottle at bedtime. He made sure I got it though."
"How old was he?"
"10 months." Ziva smiled. "He was a beautiful baby. Huge green eyes that were always watching and observing. Beautiful smile that often turned into a smirk when he was in trouble. He was and is also cuddler."
"Sounds like fun." Tony sighed as he crossed his arms around his knees and rested his head on his forehead.
"Tony, we talked about children before we even got engaged." Ziva started confused. "You did not really want them."
"So?" Tony asked as he looked up at her with a glare.
"I understand why you are upset about Thomas." Ziva said, slightly hesitant about continuing. "But-."
"Why am I this upset?" Tony growled. "You always want what you can't have, right?"
"What do you mean?" Ziva asked as she tilted her head slightly and observed Tony. "You can always have more children."
"No, I can't." He said with a clenched jaw and tight voice. "Let's just say there was a pursuit, a roof, a fall, a fence, and some difficult months of walking."
"Tony." Ziva gasped surprised by the anguish on his face.
"Don't." Tony hissed as he rested his head back against the railing and gazed up at the night sky. "I'm going to be in his life, Ziva, well the rest of it at least."
"After his birthday, I will tell him." Ziva said and Tony turned his eyes back to her.
"Why after his birthday? Why not as soon as he wakes up? Why not wake him up now and tell him?"
"I am not waking him up." Ziva glared. "He is not a good sleeper to begin with. So we also must keep our voices down."
"Then why not tomorrow? His birthday's on the forth, it's the second." Tony almost whined.
"Because I promised him last year that this year his birthday would not be so hectic and I would take him on vacation, of his choosing." Ziva explained and Tony seemed even more confused.
"What happened last year?" Tony asked as he pushed himself from the ground and sat next to her on the chair.
"Leukemia." Ziva whispered and winced when she heard Tony's gasp.
"So not only did you not tell me I had a son." Tony hissed through clenched teeth. "But my son had cancer and you didn't tell me. Cancer, Ziva!"
"Do not yell at me, Anthony." Ziva seethed as tears stung her eyes. "You have no idea what Thomas and I have been through. Even if you had known, what would you have done commute from D.C.? He deserves better than that."
"He deserves better than you!" Tony yelled back at her as he stood from his chair. "You're so selfish. You kept him from me, his father. So what if we don't live together and didn't get married? I wouldn't have been there all the time obviously, but as much as I could. More than what I was now. He deserved at least that."
"You don't think I know my son deserves better than me and what I can give him?" Ziva cried as she also stood from her chair. "He deserves a mother and a father that are in love, that live with each other, and that do not fight like we do. He deserves two full time parents. Every child does. Thomas deserves everything that we never had. Everything we ever wanted."
"I know that." Tony growled. "But something we never had was a loving father."
"I know that." Ziva said. "But every other weekend isn't exactly what I had in mind for Thomas."
"It's better than him not knowing me at all!" Tony barked. "To him, I'm just a creepy guy that stares at him and used to be friends with you."
"Would you like me to tell him who you really are, Tony?" Ziva asked as she took a step closer to him. "His father, yes. But also the man that cheated on me, broke my heart, and said he never really loved me?"
"You know that was nothing but a drunken fight where we were both trying to hurt each other as much as we could! But that's not something he should know. Or something I want him to know." Tony gulped. "But if you are going to tell him different things about me. Why don't you add in how you broke my heart by dumping me as soon as your father found out about us when Gibbs left, how you dropped me and held a gun against my heart despite my broken arm, and yet I still saved your ass in that damn desert!"
"Mommy?" A small voice whimpered from the doorway.