Okay, this chapter kind of ran away and became epic, but it is needed. The wine was flowing and when that happens, words and metaphors I would never think of come out and play. Now, I will admit I am not a Gwen fan- IF they ever do bring back Torchwood 1) I wont be watching it without my Ianto and 2) I don't want Gwen anywhere near a new series. This chapter is quite angsty for Gwen, but I've tried not to be too mean on her. I did intend when first writing this to be really bad to her, but that would mean I would have to make Rhys a horrible guy, which he isn't. So, I hope you enjoy and I hope Rhys' reactions truly reflect his character.
'Gwen, love. You need to wake up.' Gwen felt a soft hand shake her shoulder as she was drawn from her light sleep. She blinked several times before remembering where she was and what was going on, which caused her to sigh as she looked down at herself. It hadn't been a nightmare; here she was, in Ianto's body and in Ianto's suit, a bandage securing her hand from the elements. She turned her head to focus on her husband and gave him a small smile, wanting nothing more than for him to reach over and kiss her gently. Instead, she was met with a gentle slap to her thigh and a cheeky grin from him. 'I would carry you up, but you wouldn't want me to do my back in again, would you.' Opening his door, he slid from her view whilst she closed her eyes for just a second before her door opened. Holding out his hand, Rhys helped Gwen out of the car and into their flat.
Rhys was nervous as Gwen still held onto his hand. He subconsciously flinched at every turn and every door he spotted, hoping the neighbours wouldn't come out and ask why he appeared to be partnered up with a cute guy in a suit. As they passed Mrs Bryson's door, he hoped the old bat had dosed herself up to the hills and wouldn't surface for a good while. She had a habit of doing that, as well as informing Gwen in quite some detail about some mysterious woman turning up to the flat when she was away. It had taken Rhys nearly two hours to convince Gwen that she was Banana's new flavour of the month and that she had come round to apologise for her behaviour the night before. Rhys slightly grimaced at the memories of that night surfacing to his mind and remembered why he would never it cucumber again.
'Here we are then.' Rhys fumbled in his pockets and extracted his house keys, letting Gwen in first as she turned on the lights and removed her shoes. He watched as his wife shakily made her way into the living room and then pondered why she turned suddenly to the kitchen. Quickly removing his shoes, he followed Gwen into the kitchen, where she was pouring out a rather large measure of wine into a glass from the fridge. 'You really think that's wise?'
'The day I've had, you should be glad I'm not keeping the whole bottle for myself.' Raising an already full glass to him, Rhys took the liquid and raised it to his lips, taking a few sips whilst Gwen gulped down half of her glass. She scrunched up her face at the startling sour taste before pouring the remaining contents of the bottle into her glass. Rhys raised an eyebrow at his wife's actions but said nothing, he could really not take a Gwen moan at this time. All he wanted to do was keep his wife subdued and relaxed, but most of all he wanted her to be happy. It could not be easy being in this situation, but Rhys was going to try his very best to make everything as normal as possible. Well, within reason, he said to himself.
'So are you going to make me one of your specials or am I going to have to beg.' Sticking out her bottom lip, she played with the rim of her wine glass and looked up at her husband behind her lashes. Maybe, just maybe, he would see her behind Ianto. Rhys let out a laugh and placed his hand on her shoulder.
'You know that look never works even when you're in your own body. In Ianto's, it just looks wrong.' His laugh cut through her and it took all of her energy not to throw her glass across the room. Sensing the sudden shift in his wife's mood, Rhys stilled before stepping closer to her, moving his hand to rub small circles on her back. 'Why don't you just sit down, flick on a girlie film whilst I get everything ready.' His smile calmed Gwen as she nodded and headed towards the living room, missing the large breath Rhys exhaled as he began to rummage through the cupboards.
After ten minutes, Gwen had finally settled on a re-run of an old sitcom in the hope of raising her spirits whilst Rhys chatted away aimlessly about a house he had seen the other day that was for sale. 'I mean, it's a good size, not too far away from the Bay so you don't have to travel far when the Martians start attacking. Good size garden by the look of it, perfect for a little one to run about in and cause trouble.' But his words were falling on deaf ears as Gwen looked blankly at the screen, seeing only a blur of colour and text indicating the programme had finished. Hearing the clatter of pots and pans, Gwen looked around to see Rhys slaving away preparing his special. The aromas were indeed intoxicating and Gwen could feel her stomach rumble in anticipation of the meal that would be laid out in front of her. But her mind was on other things and as she watched Rhys move gracefully around the small space, she took a deep breath and headed straight for him.
'I mean, I know we talked about kids and you feel you're not ready, but I was just thinking...' Rhys was stopped suddenly by the presence of lips against his. He could feel them slowly caressing his, teeth worrying the delicate skin of his lower lip and for a second, all Rhys could smell, feel and see was his wife. It was her kiss, there was no denying it and as he closed his eyes, he let his hands roam and rest on her hips. It was only when a tongue threatened to penetrate the barrier of his teeth, his thoughts suddenly conjured up the images of the current situation and he pulled away in horror. Catching his breath, he watched as Gwen shook with rejection, before summoning up her courage and attempting to kiss him again. This time, Rhys was prepared and gripped tightly onto Gwen's arms.
'What are you doing?' Rhys tried to stop the look of disgust crossing his face, but he knew he had failed when he saw tears beginning to form behind Gwen's eyes. 'Look, I know this must be hard for you...' He was stopped by Gwen's nervous laugh and could only watch as she backed away from his and covered her mouth with her hand, almost as if she was in some form of shock. Finally, she straightened up and looked directly at her husband.
'Is that all you can think of? Is that all you think is wrong.' Gwen began pacing, trying to form a coherent sentence that would make Rhys understand. Why couldn't Rhys see the truth? He was her husband, the one who was her soul mate, the one person she could always confide in and the one who could always make things better. So why couldn't he now?
'Look, love, you're not making sense.' Rhys tried to reach out for Gwen but she leapt from his grasp the instant he held her. 'Maybe we should get you back to the Hub, yeah? Martha could have a look at you and then...' For the second time in less than five minutes, Rhys was interrupted, only this time it was by the large smash of a wine glass as it narrowly missed his head and shattered into a thousand pieces over the cooker. A few shards landed in the pasta and Rhys kicked himself mentally for thinking about how the dinner was now ruined.
'There is nothing wrong with me,' Gwen screamed as she watched the shower of glass fall. She felt light headed as the combination of alcohol and shallow breaths began to affect her. She swayed slightly on her feet but shook the feeling away as she stared back at her husband. 'There is nothing wrong with me. I'm still me, here inside.' She began beating her chest as the tears began to roll down her cheeks. 'Why can't you see that? Why can't you see me for who I am?' At this point, Gwen became inconsolable as she began to cry, her hands coming to her mouth as she tried to control the sobs ebbing from her lips.
Rhys didn't even think as he bridged the gap between them and took Gwen in his arms. He would give anything to take away the pain his wife was in as a part of him wished that he could switch places with her. He couldn't even begin to imagine the confusion and anxiety she was going through as he let her cry into his shoulder. At that point, he wished Torchwood had never come into their lives. If only she hadn't investigated, hadn't searched for the truth behind the mysterious organisation that lurked through the dark streets of this city, then their lives would have been so much more easier. They could have been happily married, child on the way and looking for a larger place to raise a family if it wasn't for Harkness and his motley crew. But this was Gwen's life now, his life as well and he had to face the consequences, no matter what they were.
'I see you,' Rhys muttered as he gently swayed with his wife. 'I see you all the time. Don't think I would ever reject you.' Raising her flushed face to his, he swallowed his insecurity as he kissed the top of her head. 'You're the woman I married, the woman who always laughs at the same jokes I tell. You're the woman I fell in love with.' He felt his own tears threatening to fall as he reassured his wife, the one and only person who was his world. The presence of her lips fell on his again and, although he hated doing so, he gently pulled her head away from his and stared deep into her eyes. 'But I can't do this Gwen. I'm sorry but I can't give you what you want. This is too strange and I wish I could be a bigger man and accept this, but I just can't.' He loosened his grip on Gwen and stepped back, his head bowed, unable to look at the pain in Gwen's eyes.
'You can't...' Gwen couldn't even form a sentence at the apparent rejection of her anchor to the world as he cut away their link and left her floating in a world of insecurity. Why? Jack and Ianto seemed only willing to continue their physical relationship so why couldn't it be the same with her and Rhys? She faintly felt herself moving further and further away from Rhys before she turned, grabbed her shoes from the hallway and ran out the door. She didn't even know if Rhys was following her, she didn't really care. All she wanted to do was get away from the pain, from the hurt. She fled their flat, down the stairs and out into the street, Ianto's shoes still in her hand. She threw them onto the floor and stepped into them, before blindly running from the street and out into the cold night air.
'Gwen!' She couldn't hear the shouts coming from behind her and didn't turn back to look at the figure of her husband stood at the door of their block, uncertain of what to do.
'Shit,' was all Rhys could say as he watched Gwen flee around the corner and out of sight. 'Gwen!' He bellowed again into the night, but he received no answer. A drunken man looked across to him with a confused look in his face. 'What are you looking at, mate?' Rhys watched as the drunken man shook his head and continued to stumble down the path. Removing his phone from his pocket, he searched through his numbers before he located Jack's. Holding up the phone to his ear, all he heard was a constant ring. 'Pick up, Jack.' Rhys pleaded as he stood lost in his own street. 'Please, pick up.'