An anti-new Master one, that I suppose I put in this story because it fit better in this story than any of the others.
The Doctor was sitting alone outside his TARDIS, watching the waves on Blackpool beach, lost in his own thoughts. The waves were shimmering, and suddenly they rose up and began to take solid form. The Doctor sat up and stared intently.
"Rose...? Rose, is that you"
"Phlur, sea water. Yeah, it's me! Come here!" The Doctor rose from his deckchair, before putting his hands over his eyes and counting to ten. "I REFUSE TO BELIEVE THESE VISIONS!" He uncovered his eyes. The Rose-vision-thing was still there.
"NO!" he screamed as he picked up a pebble from the sand and chucked it at her.
"OUCH"
"Oh... hehehe," the Doctor giggled as he threw a bigger one at her.
"STOPPIT!" The Doctor stopped it. "Well are you coming or not?" The Doctor started, but decided not to.
"I don't want wet trousers, why don't you come here?" Sensing defeat Rose came up the beach, dripping wet, and stood in front of the Doctor, as if expectant of something. The Doctor watched as a seabird came and pecked of a small fish stuck to Rose's hair, taking a huge hunk of her hair with it.
"Err, Rose, didn't that hurt"
"Did what hurt? OH, err, I am, hmm, oblivious to pain now?" Rose said as she adjusted her nose. The tenth may be an idiot, but even he notices when someone adjusts their nose.
"You're not Rose!" He grabbed her hair and pulled sharply, and the latex came off to reveal...
The Master!
"What? What?! WHAT?!"
"Err, stop repeating yourself, it's, err, not helping matters?"
"Why on earth are you pretending to be Rose?! Why on Earth are you alive? You died! It was everywhere in the papers, Mr Saxon is dead, how on Gallifrey did you manage to hide without anyone noticing that Mr Saxon was alive and walking about?"
"Well, I wore masks like these! I made sure I gassed the real people though!"
"Gassed? You GAS people? Why didn't you compress their tissue like you used to, saves time hiding bodies I would have thought?"
"Oh I lost it," the Master said, still looking rather silly with Rose's body.
"You're pathetic! And what were you doing dressed up as Rose?"
"Well, everyone seems to be saying that you and Rose were so in love, that if you saw her you'd kiss her immediately, so then when your face was near mine I could release my deadly poison gas!"
"That, is the most ridiculous scheme I have EVER heard! Whoever told you that Rose and I were in love?!"
"I found it on the internet."
"You idiot." With that, the Doctor turned, picked up his deckchair and entered his TARDIS. The Master pulled out a communicator.
"Red-Tracking-Device, Red-Tracking-Device, this is Joke-Shop, reporting mission failure..."
Whoever can get the cunning anti new series references win something I shall decide on later, maybe they can write one of these stories... That's a pretty damned good prize. For an idiot.