For Your Eyes Only

Chapter Six – When She Waited

I stayed in the lounge all night, unable to sleep.

I spent most of the time pacing back and forth, anxiously nibbling away at my fingernails. It was stupid really, getting so worried about a strange ghost who I hardly even knew, but I couldn't deny the horrible feeling at the pit of my stomach. I felt sick the entire time and regularly had to take deep breaths to calm myself.

The curtains were twitching every half hour and I squinted out into the darkness, praying to see his outline. I longed to see those familiar green eyes and that wild head of hair, but there was no sign for the whole night.

Over twelve hours passed and, at 9am the next day, I started to cry. I couldn't even begin to fathom why I was feeling this way but it felt as though someone really precious and close to me had disappeared and dread flooded my body.

Something really bad must have happened to him.

I stood up and mechanically walked into the kitchen, trying, and failing, to not think too much. My mind whirled around in circles; I kept telling myself that Edward had no other place to go and I didn't want to figure out why he had left. My home seemed comfortable enough...

Unless... he didn't like it here anymore?

Maybe he had suddenly come to his senses and hovered away, never to see me again.

If that was really an option, he could have at least said goodbye.

As I was pouring my cereal, I was surprised to find myself crying again. My head felt extremely sore today and made me feel even worse. My hands shook when I tried to raise the cornflakes into my mouth and, as I chewed on the pieces of cardboard, my stomach turned once more and I very nearly threw up into the sink.

What on Earth was wrong with me?

No, what was wrong with Edward?

That afterthought made me wince and I hurried into the lounge again, switching on the television as a way of distraction. It was a Saturday and I had nothing else to do, so I flicked through the channels randomly, not really caring what was on the screen. I settled for a strange looking cartoon and tried to find it funny, but I couldn't concentrate. Everything made me think of him.

The main character had messy hair. Another had green eyes. Another wore similar clothes to him.

I just couldn't take it anymore.

My heart almost stopped beating when the doorbell suddenly rang and it took me a few moments to compose myself; I was a nervous wreck. I switched the TV off and headed towards the front, slowly pulling open the handle.

I sighed in disappointment when I saw that it was Mrs Newton, a rather nosey neighbour of mine. Just what I needed.

"Hi," I muttered quietly, not in the mood at all.

"Hello there, dear," she said in her usual patronising way. "How are you feeling? I heard about the accident."

"I'm fine, thank you," I replied steadily. "Just a bit sore."

"Yes, your head does look quite nasty," she said slowly, making an obvious show of staring at my forehead. After a few seconds, I became uncomfortable.

"How's your father?" she asked eventually, leaning against the doorway. I tried not to roll my eyes at her.

"He's great." I wasn't going to give her any more information; she'd never even spoken to Charlie before his rather public entry into rehab and I knew exactly why she wanted all the news. Her friends were probably waiting a few yards away in a car, armed with binoculars.

"Well... that's good," she mumbled, clearly dissatisfied. "Anyway, I'd best be off. Mike needs me to take him to soccer practise."

"Lovely."

"See you later, Isabella."

My teeth ground together as I closed the door. This was going to be a very long day.

By midday, I didn't know what to do with myself.

The morning had felt like an entire day and I felt like a zombie. I'd caught a brief glance of myself in the mirror and my reflection almost seemed to back up that comparison. My eyes were red raw and there were ugly looking bags underneath them. I was strangely pale and the healing wound on my forehead wasn't exactly pretty. On top of that, my hair looked wiry and a little greasy, but that was the least of my worries.

Out of sheer exasperation and desperation, I reached for the phone and rang the first person that came into my mind.

After a few rings, a quiet voice answered. "Hello?"

"Hi, Rose, it's Bella," I said, trying to sound cheerful.

There was a long pause, so long that I believed the line was faulty. "Hello?" I tried.

"Oh, sorry, Bella," she eventually murmured. Another pause. "How are you?"

I was really tired of people asking me that but I replied nonetheless. "I'm okay, thanks. How was that party last night?"

I might have imagined it, but I thought she sucked in a breath at that point. After a few moments she answered, a little cagily. "It was alright."

I waited, expecting some more details. None came. "Did you have fun?"

She sighed very heavily. "No. Not really."

"Oh?" I asked. She didn't say anything and I frowned to myself. "Rose, is something wrong?"

"I've broken up with Emmett, Bella, if you must know," she said in a rush and I cringed to myself.

"Oh no," I moaned.

"Yeah, so it wasn't the best night of my life."

Her cold tone was really surprising me. I knew she wasn't happy but I wasn't to blame with this at all. Despite this, I carried on normally. "Why did you break up?"

She paused once more, almost as though she was deliberating something. "I... ugh, this is gonna sound really bad."

"Spit it out."

"I... I got drunk and... and I kissed somebody. Somebody else."

My eyes widened in shock. "Oh my gosh, Rose! Who was it?"

"You wouldn't know him," she answered quickly. A little too quickly.

"Are you sure I wouldn't?" I persisted.

"No. He's not from our school."

"Why was he there, then?"

"For God's sake, Bella, you sound like a police interrogator! Give me a break... I don't need all this! My head is throbbing and now I've got you firing questions at me! I don't want to talk about it, okay?"

I would have staggered backwards if I wasn't sat down. "Oh."

"I've got to go," she muttered quietly, and the phone went dead.

Placing the phone slowly on the table, I felt my throat tighten once more. What exactly was I doing wrong?

At three in the afternoon, a sudden thought popped into my head and it continued nagging away for a full hour afterwards before I finally decided to act upon it.

Reaching for my coat, I quickly stepped outside and made my way down the path. The whereabouts of my truck was still a mystery but I had no intention of talking to Rose about that just yet. She had an apology to make and some serious grovelling to do. I knew she slipped into dark moods sometimes but today... well, today was on another scale.

As I carried on walking down, I hurriedly put on my black hat, very much aware that the ugly cut on my head would undoubtedly attract some unwelcome attention.

I wasn't fully aware of just how far away the hospital was and it felt as though I'd run a marathon by the time I arrived. My legs ached and I nearly slumped right onto the reception desk, much to the amazement of the woman waiting for me. She clearly recognised me and squinted. "Weren't you here yesterday?"

I nodded. "Uh, yeah I was. But I'm here to visit a friend today."

"OK," she said slowly. "What's your friend's name?"

"Um... it's Edward Cullen," I replied shiftily. I felt guilty for some reason and tried to ignore that feeling.

She checked what looked like a register and I waited in agitation, fully aware of the fact that Edward didn't want me to see him at all.

But I was desperate now and he wasn't here to see.

"Are you sure you want to see him?" she asked suddenly, taking me out of my trance. "From what it says here, he's not in a good way. And he's been here a few days now – why haven't you been here sooner?"

I swallowed anxiously. "I... um, I only heard about his accident today. I was pretty shocked."

"Well, I can certainly understand that," she muttered. "He's on floor six at the moment but it's best if you talk to a doctor before. I'm sure there will be one up there with him." She paused. "Prepare yourself, though, he's had some really terrible injuries."

"OK," I mumbled quietly. "Th-thank you."

The walk to the elevator felt like the longest one of my life. It felt as though everybody should be looking at me and glaring in shame but, as I looked around, they were all tending to their own business. People were waiting patiently in the white, plastic seats, and others were limping around with crutches.

What else should I have really expected?

I waited patiently for the doors to open and, once they did, I was a little surprised to hear a voice behind me, calling for me to save the elevator. I did so and was even more surprised to see Dr Cullen heading towards me, carrying a pile of papers and seeming a bit flustered. He quickly stepped inside and, after taking two looks in my direction, recognised me and smiled.

"Miss Swan," he said warmly. "How are you today?"

I might have been imagining it, but he looked very tired and stressed; a lot like me, actually. His eyes were red and sore, a reflection of my own. He probably had a lot more worries, though, and I felt a twinge of sympathy for him.

Quickly realising that he was waiting for me to say something, I smiled. "Hi, Dr Cullen. I'm pretty good, thank you. Healing up nicely."

He looked genuinely pleased and the smile he returned made the skin around his eyes crinkle. "That's great to hear. Have you been in much pain?"

"No, no," I replied. "I've got a pretty high pain threshold, actually."

He chuckled. "That makes a change. Most patients here tend to moan about the tiniest of needle pricks."

"That must get annoying."

"Yes, it did after the first hundred times."

We laughed together and I was startled when the doors suddenly opened again. I hovered around a little awkwardly and randomly gestured forwards. "Well, I'd better go."

His eyebrows pulled together. "Why are you here? If you don't mind me asking, that is."

"A friend," I answered briefly. I watched him glance at the floor number and could have sworn that his eyes widened momentarily. Despite this, he still smiled and waved. "I... I hope your friend is well."

"Thank you." I hesitated. "Uh, bye!"

The doors closed on him and I turned around, suddenly very stuck about what to do. I'd gotten this far now and couldn't really turn back... but I still felt as though I was betraying him. I was deliberately going against his wishes... he hadn't wanted me to see his physical body.

Even though this thought was dominant in my mind, I persisted down the eerily quiet corridor, passing a few doors along the way. I eventually found a doctor and took a deep breath.

"Excuse me?"

He turned around and headed towards me, a quizzical look on his aged face. "Can I help you?"

"Um, yes," I smiled. "I'm looking to see Edward Cullen?"

He seemed a little flummoxed. "Are you a friend of his?"

I nodded.

"Nobody seems to have visited him lately," he pondered. "It's been a few days since he first came in and there's been no sign of anyone."

This saddened me. "Yeah, there's... there's nobody left. I mean, he's the only person left in his family."

His face remained neutral, a skill of the job I guessed. "Alright. I shouldn't really let you visit without proof, but in this case I'll let it go. This way please."

I followed him down a corridor that seemed to last forever. My shoes clicked on the floor and I could hear his steady breathing; only just, though, because my heart was hammering so wildly that I could hear it in my ears.

We stopped outside a pair of double doors and on a sign above I could see the words 'Intensive Care.'

Things were bad, then.

"Now, this may come as a shock to you," he said slowly, almost as though I was a child. "But yesterday, Mr Cullen suffered a cardiac arrest."

My legs nearly buckled underneath me and the breath caught in my throat. I swayed on the spot and the doctor clutched at my arm, eyeing me carefully.

"Oh my goodness..." I whispered, my voice quivering. The shock had winded me; it all made sense now. Edward has disappeared because he'd... he'd...

Died.

He had actually momentarily died.

A sob escaped my lips and I clasped a hand over my mouth.

"I'm sorry to inform you like this," he continued. "But it's important that you know."

I couldn't quite speak, so he carried on.

"We managed to restart his heart and he's in a relatively stable condition at the moment but... his injuries are still severe. You need to prepare yourself, it's not going to be pleasant, Miss."

I nodded jerkily, still completely staggered.

He rested a hand on the door. "Are you ready?"

No. I never would be.

Just as I was opening my mouth, another voice coming from my right made a shiver tingle through my body.

"Bella, what the hell do you think you're doing?"

I slowly and mechanically turned my head to face the sound and gasped loudly.

"Edward..." I murmured.

His eyes were dark; the glare on his face was startling, almost terrifying. He was angry and I knew exactly why. I was doing the thing he least wanted me to, and I couldn't even begin to imagine what he'd been through over the past few hours. He probably detested me right now.

Despite this, I was overwhelmingly pleased to see him.

"Bella, you need to leave," he ordered. "Now."

His voice was so cold and full of authority that goose bumps crawled along my skin. I stared at him open-mouthed for a long time, before turning towards the doctor, who was oggling at me with a strange expression.

"Sorry... I..." I fumbled around, jerking my thumb down the corridor. "I can't do this. Sorry. I... I'm going now. Sorry."

I hurried away from him, ignoring his voice calling back to me. He probably thought I was crazy, but that didn't mean a thing to me now. Edward was back.

By the time I stepped into the elevator with Edward sluggishly following behind, I was gasping for air and completely dazed.

"Edward..." I whispered, still aware of his disapproving expression. "What on Earth happened?"