For Your Eyes Only

Chapter Seventeen - When They Faced The Real World

"You're my uncle? But... but how?"

Edward's acting skills were pretty impressive, I had to admit. His face furrowed in confusion while Carlisle explained everything to him about his family and the adoption, and I had a hard time stifling my laughter when he listened intently. He was like an obedient pupil, hanging off the teacher's every word, and when he met my eyes I had to turn away and bite my lip.

It was all very silly really.

When Carlisle was finished, Edward stared at him for a while and then slowly smiled. "But that's brilliant!" he beamed, before quietly murmuring, "I thought I didn't have anyone..." He paused, looking down at his hands. "Sorry, that's quite selfish."

Carlisle shook his head, smiling widely along with him. "No, it's really not. I feel the same way."

The amusement soon wore off and the tender look on Carlisle's face was very soft and paternal. I supposed he hadn't really had the opportunity to feel this way yet, and wanted to look after Edward. He clearly enjoyed taking care of people because of his job, but he now had someone of his own flesh and blood, and that was a very nice thought.

I suddenly felt quite emotional and again longed to see my own father. I'd have to leave Edward on his own for a while tomorrow while I visited him, and suddenly cursed myself for being so self centred.

Edward might have caught the look on my face, because he suddenly asked Carlisle to leave. "Sorry, would you mind if Bella and myself had some time together alone? It sounds horrible of me, but I just need to talk to her about a few... things."

As usual, he smiled in a friendly way and stood up. Despite this, there seemed to be a strange hidden emotion on his face and his smile didn't seem too genuine. "No problem. I'll just look over a few things first..." He did so, checking all the machinery around Edward. Then, he pressed a button and said, "That's for the pain. Anyway, call me if you need me. I won't be far away."

"Will do. Thanks, uh, Uncle C," Edward replied tentatively and Carlisle walked outside, not looking in my direction and leaving us both alone again. His shoulders seemed tense, but I tried not to think about that too much.

It was silent in the room for a few moments, the only sound being the distant noises from within the hospital and the occasional patter of the blinds as they blew against the window after a sudden gust of chilly air.

"Are you okay?"

I was caught offguard by Edward's question, mostly because it was such a strange one to be asking. "Shouldn't I be asking you that?"

He smiled, shifting about so that he could sit up a bit. He patted the bed next to him and there was a little bit of space, so I carefully sat down there, looking Edward right in the eyes. "I'm fed up with people asking me how I am," he said. "I wanted to shift the attention to you. Besides, this must be quite a big thing for you too."

I began fiddling with my fingernails, feeling uncomfortable. "I guess I'm alright. I'm obviously glad you're awake now. But I'm mostly interested in how you are." My eyes travelled to his leg. "Are you in any pain?"

He shook his head and his hair flopped briefly onto his eyes. I started to lean forward to move it out of the way myself, but his hand caught mine. "No, I'm not in any pain. It seems as though Carlisle has dosed me up pretty high on painkillers." My eyes moved to his arm this time, where he was connected to the medication. Ugh. "Bella, you look sad."

I glanced up at him. "Do I?"

He didn't reply.

The truth was that I was feeling a little blue. The excitement of what had happened earlier had worn off now, and I was just left with the sinking feeling of knowing that I wouldn't be seeing Edward for much longer. The conversation about what would happen when he woke up was still clear in my mind, replaying like a video. It also seemed as though something was wrong with Carlisle and I was worried about that too.

I eventually shrugged. "I'm not."

"Bella-"

"So, how does it feel being back in the real world?" I interrupted, fully aware that I was doing so. I sounded overly cheerful and Edward stared at me curiously for a little while, before sighing and answering my question.

"It's a bit weird." His eyes moved around the room. "But I'm sure I'll get used to it after a while."

I nodded along slowly.

"Bella, we really need to talk about... things."

His voice was horribly serious. "Things?" I repeated.

"Yeah. Things. But..." he paused, suddenly yawning widely. "Sorry, I just..." he trailed off, yawning once more. "I just feel really tired right now."

His words were slurring and I smiled at how he struggled to keep his eyes open. "That must be the medication kicking in. I'll, um, leave you to get some rest."

I began to stand up but, echoing his earlier actions, his grip momentarily tightened on my hand, keeping me in my place. "Bella? Please don't leave me when I wake up again."

His words caused some strange lightness in my stomach, but I managed to nod. "Of course I won't leave you. I'll be right here when your eyes open."

I just wished he would say the same thing to me.

Edward slept for a very long time and I couldn't really blame him - I'd had a brief taste of the power of painkillers and my dosage was likely to have been a lot lower than Edward's, yet that completely knocked me for six and made me more or less completely out of it for a long period of time.

The hospital became dark all of a sudden and I glanced at the clock; it was just past 10pm. I stretched and moved around in the plastic chair outside his room, trying once more to get comfortable. I'd left him alone for some privacy and was sat on my own for a while; it was pleasant and allowed me to have some time to think in silence after everything that had happened so quickly. I had to process everything, even if it meant thinking some thoughts I'd wanted to avoid.

My thoughts were interrupted, however, when a hand holding a cup of coffee appearing in my vision in front of me, and I glanced up to see Carlisle standing there, wearing his doctor's white coat.

"Hello," he smiled. Despite this, it didn't reach his eyes and seemed a little forced. He wouldn't look right at me. "I thought you could use this."

"Oh, thank you very much," I said, sitting up and taking the drink in my hands. "I couldn't see any vending machines or anything around here. I could murder a chocolate bar."

"There's one just around the corner," he told me, taking a seat by my side. "If you're staying here all night with him then maybe you'll need it."

I nodded. "Thanks. I'll have a search later."

"How is he now, anyway? I haven't had time to check yet."

"He's sleeping. I'd be in there with him if he wasn't." I laughed half heartedly, a sound which echoed along the empty corridor. "You could have been to see Edward before coming here to me..."

I could feel Carlisle looking at me, for the side of my face prickled. It made my feel a tiny bit self conscious, but I sipped at my coffee, trying to ignore the sensation. He didn't respond to my earlier comment. "You two seemed really close," he observed after a few moments. "I thought you were just friends..."

"We are," I said, meeting his gaze. "We're just close, like you said." It was hard to ignore the pain in my chest when I admitted the truth aloud.

"Hmm. You wouldn't think that."

We sat in silence for a while and I saw him yawning out of the corner of my eye. "Are you staying here all night too?"

"It's my shift tonight," he gestured to his uniform and I slapped my forehead in stupidity. He smirked for half a second, but his face quickly turned serious again. "But I'll be checking on Edward a lot. I'm only working on this floor, anyway."

"Good. That's a relief."

The conversation trailed off from that moment, and I couldn't help thinking that it was all a little awkward. Normally, Carlisle and myself got on really well and although we seemed to be talking in a friendly way before, now everything just seemed tense. There was no way to explain why, it just did, and I really didn't like it. It had happened suddenly, too, and completely shook me up.

I noticed that his hands rested on his knees and he kept balling and unballing them into fists. That was enough to confirm my suspicions and I prepared to question him.

"Carlisle, is there something wrong?" I asked, turning towards him. He looked a little startled and didn't meet my gaze; he seemed to take a sudden interest in the sparkling clean corridor floor.

"What makes you think that?" he eventually replied, a little quietly.

"You just seem tense."

He blew out a long breath and then ran his fingers through his hair, making it stick up a little. "I'm sorry, Bella."

"Sorry for what?"

"I... I've been stupid. I've done something really, really, stupid. But I couldn't help it. I-"

I was starting to worry now. "Has something happened?"

"You could say that."

I exhaled in frustration. "I don't mean to sound moody, but I'm feeling quite tired right now and can't really deal with you skipping around the issue." I sounded harsher than I'd meant to and I quickly apologised. "Sorry, Carlisle, I-"

"It's not your fault, Bella. I just... I don't know how to say-" he trailed off, looking confused and irritated at himself. "This shouldn't have happened... it's all wrong. Seeing how you were with Edward has just made it all worse."

I didn't bother speaking, just waited for him to do so. A horrible feeling was once again in the pit of my stomach, but I didn't know what to expect at all.

"Are you staying off school tomorrow?"

His random question caught me off guard. "I... um, I guess so. Why?"

He shook his head. "You're seventeen, aren't you? Eighteen soon?" I nodded, feeling a little confused. No, scratch that, I was confused right from the very start of this weird conversation.

"See, it's really awful of me. You're ten years younger than me. Ten."

"Carlisle, just-"

"I've developed some feelings for you, Bella. I... I couldn't stop it, they've just grown over our time together and I've... I've become very fond of you." He swallowed, shaking his head. "I'm disgusted with myself for it and I really am sorry, but... I-I just had to say something. It's been eating away at me! I tried to avoid you for a while, but I just couldn't. It was impossible..."

He trailed off and my face was frozen in shock. My eyes were widen open and I stammered, "I... sorry?"

"I'm sure you heard me," he muttered, looking away. "I'm sorry, Bella, I didn't mean to burden this on you. I'll just... I'll have to try to do something about it. It's just startlingly clear that you feel towards Edward how I feel towards you."

Holy crap.

"Carlisle, I... please don't go, stay here a moment."

He turned around reluctantly. "Bella, looking at you makes it worse at the moment."

His words were harsh and really cut through me. I was still trying to process it all. Someone ten years older had feelings for me? What did he mean by feelings, anyway? Surely not...

"Carlisle, d-"

"Sorry, Bella," he said, and then he disappeared around the corner.

Well, that was unexpected.

I stared after him for a long time before closing my eyes and leaning my head back against the wall. I hadn't done anything to encourage Carlisle, had I? I'd just taken a friendly interest, trying to help Edward as much as I could.

His words from earlier echoed around in my head. You feel towards Edward how I feel towards you.

Edward meant a lot to me. No, that was an understatement...

Oh, for God's sake.

I stood up quickly and briefly checked in Edward's room, satsified that he seemed okay. Then, I rushed along the corridor to purchase a chocolate bar. It sure as hell was going to be a long night and the sugar would definitely make it feel a little bit more bearable.

Edward was standing at the end of the corridor, holding out his arms to me.

"Come here, Bella," he said seductively, and I didn't even think twice, just obeyed his command. I longed to feel the warmth of his body, to truly touch him for the first time without risking hurting him.

I edged towards him slowly and just as I was a few metres away from him, Carlisle suddenly stood out from the door, staring at me sadly.

"Bella, please don't do this," he pleaded, his eyes almost shining. I stopped in my tracks. He turned towards Edward. "How could you do this?"

"Do what?" Edward replied casually. "It's not my fault that Bella's feelings lie elsewhere."

They started arguing visciously and I tried in vain to stop them. They'd just found out that they were related and I couldn't bear them fighting so soon and potentially ending their relationship.

"Bella."

Edward's strong voice suddenly caught my attention. "Show us who you really want. Him, or me?"

I could feel them both staring at me and, as I edged again towards Edward, I apologised over and over to Carlisle. Despite this, his face showed pure sadness and he crumbled to the floor in front of my very eyes while Edward just smirked and pulled me close.

"That's it, Bella, don't worry. You're with the right man."

I woke up with a start the following morning and was surprised to find myself wrapped in a soft blanket. Sitting up and feeling shaken, I rubbed my eyes and checked the time. 7am.

It was a little disorientating for a few seconds, but I then remembered everything that had happened yesterday. A smile spread on my face when I recollected that Edward was awake and that I could speak to him again today.

That smile soon slipped when I remembered about Carlisle.

What would happen today? I couldn't exactly avoid him. I couldn't pretend that nothing had happened either and that dream had been absolutely horrible.

It was slightly eerie, but at that moment Carlisle walked right around the corner and hesitantly stopped in front of me. I was afraid to meet his eyes but when I looked up at him, he seemed strangely happier.

"Hi," I murmured. "Look, I'm-"

"Bella, I really do apologise about last night. I was stressed and very tired... please can we pretend it never happened?" he asked, sitting down beside me. "It was all very embarrassing, really."

I bit my lip. "But it's a bit difficult to forget. I-"

"Life isn't always easy and love definitely doesn't run smoothly." My eyes widened and I almost spluttered in front of him. "But I guess I'll just have to move on. Or try to, anyway. This type of thing has happened to me before, so I should be able to." He smiled wryly but my face was frozen in shock. Love?

Did that mean I loved Edward?

"Do you want some breakfast?" he asked. "There's a nice little place downstairs."

My mouth somehow managed to move and words came out. "What about Edward?"

Something flickered briefly in his eyes but he soon nodded, replacing this look. "Of course. Maybe I could bring you something up?"

"That would be fantastic. Thank you, Carlisle. I really am sorry," I added when he stood up.

"Don't apologise, it isn't your fault. You were very understanding about it all."

I couldn't quite manage a smile and he was soon starting to move around the corner. "Thank you for the blanket!" I called. His head popped around the wall and he grinned. "No problem."

I was then alone again and shook my head in disbelief. Maybe he'd thought everything through during the night time while he was working on his shift. His attitude was certainly very different today.

It was all very flattering, but even I now knew that my feelings were lying elsewhere and that they were slowly growing out of control. I didn't really want to cause any more trouble for Edward, but I couldn't keep everything contained for much longer.

Before I knew it, Carlisle was back again and handed me a few tasty looking slices of toast and a carton of orange juice. I smiled at him gratefully.

"I saw Edward on the way here," he told me. "He wants to see you."

"Oh, he's awake then?"

He nodded. "It was practically the first thing he said. Asking for you."

I didn't know what to say to that, but Carlisle didn't look too pained, so I just managed a small smile and placed my hand carefully on his. "Thank you."

I took a bite of the toast as I made my way to Edward's room. "Mmm, this is lovely."

Carlisle smiled at me. "It's a shame they don't give the same decent food to the patients."

"Oh," my face fell, "but that's what Edward's gonna have to eat this morning."

He smiled again, somewhat mischieviously and held up a bag in his hand. "I thought we could sneak him in some food."

I smirked at him. "That's against the rules, though."

"Yeah," he nodded. "But he's worth it."

That was so true.