Not mine. None of it thanks for reminding me…
A. N – This is the part where it starts to get heavy… and this is one of the chapters I am most anxious about… Please let me know what you thought with a lovely or even not so lovely review.
Part Eight- Headlong.The little cottage in Godric's Hollow that housed three-fifths of his heart was in ruins. The wall ripped out on one side, the top floor collapsed and sagging onto the ground. Everyday objects, white lace curtains, a chipped teacup, Harry's Teddy suddenly became alien and sinister as Sirius' eyes swept over them in the pre-dawn light.
Sirius moved over to where Lily lay, her head turned to the side, her unseeing eyes watching the battered and singed curtains. She'd throw a fit if she saw them like that he thought numbly. He crouched down and wiped some soot from her cheek with his thumb. Her ivory skin was infinitely paler and alarmingly cold to the touch. Probably because she's dead, idiot Sirius thought to himself. Her lips were blue. A tear rolled down Sirius' cheek. It's all my fault. He stayed with Lily for a little while, afraid to see that James was indeed dead. As he sat with her he thought of her on her wedding day, almost two years ago. She had laughed and joked. Sirius had told her that she shone like the sun. Her eyes had sparkled, her arms had reached out and pulled him close. Her now forever-silenced voice had whispered to him.
"I love you too, Sirius."
Her lips had been pink and warm when she pressed them to Sirius' cheek, and a different, happier tear had streaked his face that day.
"Softy." She had teased.
Sirius heard a noise behind him. He jumped to his feet and spun around with his wand at the ready.
It was Hagrid. The giant bearded man greeted him quietly as he too took in the ruins. A bigger tear tracked down his bigger face as he reached for his spotty handkerchief and blew his nose loudly.
Sirius turned his back and sat down again next to Lily, holding her hand in his.
Hagrid busied himself moving the rubble around. Sirius wondered what he was up to when he heard the impossible.
He heard a baby crying.
He heard Harry crying.
In a second he was at Hagrid's elbow staring down at the miracle boy before him. One year old Harry's black hair was sticking up at all angles, His tiny hands reaching and clasping at Hagrid's sleeves, His tiny mouth thrown wide and screaming, a nasty cut on his forehead. Sirius stroked the boys head with trembling hands and shushed the way Lily had taught him to. Soon the boy was settled and cradled in Hagrid's arm. He could not believe that he had survived. James would be so proud. Just as Sirius was about to take the boy in his hands Hagrid apologetically explained that he had been sent to find the boy, and take him to Dumbledore. Sirius knew it was useless to argue with Hagrid when he had been sent on an errand by the blue-eyed man. Instead he offered Hagrid the use of his motorbike and kissed his godson on the cheek. He wished them a safe journey and vowed to take guardianship of Harry as soon as possible.
Once he saw the tail-lights disappear Sirius finally walked over to where James lay. Quiet determination was etched on James' cool, still face. His glasses askew, his limbs sitting at wilder angles than his hair. Sirius took James' glasses off his face and placed them in the breast pocket of his shirt. James was as blind as a bat without them, this way he was spared from having to stare up at the dark mark twisting and swirling above him but he would have them for later. There is no later Sirius remembered. Sirius took James' hand in his own, entwining their fingers. They had met as boys and grown to be brothers. Sirius loved James dearly, his enthusiasm was infectious, and his optimism was so great it bordered on insanity. All gone now he thought. Sirius remembered the day James had told them that he was to be a father.
James had come hurtling out of the fireplace one afternoon just after Sirius had left to get lunch. He was unannounced and hysterical, it took Remus ages to settle him down enough to understand that he had news and longer to discover that this news was so big they both had to be present when it was revealed. Remus had made tea and they had had a somewhat one-sided conversation as James talked a mile a minute, until Sirius entered the flat with his usual call of "Moonikins, I'm home!" James was a blur as he rushed to Sirius, somehow dragging Remus with him. He pulled them both into a bone-crushing hug and screamed "I'M GONNA BE A DAD!" Sirius remembered the celebration that followed. He remembered James grinning like a fool for the whole night. He remembered having to return the very drunk father-to-be to Lily, she had smiled at 'her boys', glowed when they congratulated her, and laughed when James passed out in the hall. She had levitated her unconscious husband to bed as they apparated home.
Now Lily and James were gone. And Remus… well, he and Remus had fallen apart at the seams. Suspicions that Sirius could no longer remember, suspicions that he was stupid to have had at all had torn them apart. Suspicions that Peter had put in his head.
Peter. The traitor.
Oh yes, Sirius knew he was the traitor. He had called at Peter's house. There were no signs of a struggle, none at all. No one had come and taken him and tortured him to get the information that Voldemort wanted. They hadn't had to. Peter had just walked out of the front door and given James, Lily and Harry up.
Just like that.
James looked down at the only real brother he had ever had. He looked over at Lily, shining, sweet, beautiful Lily. Both cut down by something so ugly. He took in their home once more. His blood boiled. He stood hands clenched, jaw stiff, knuckles white and screamed at the dark mark above, the dark mark a confident Voldemort had conjured before the deed was begun. Sirius thought of everything he had lost. Four-fifths of his heart had been ripped away by the fifth piece. Sirius was angrier than he had ever been.
Someonewould pay.
Peter would pay.
After revenge had been taken he could sort it all out with Remus and together they could raise Harry.
Sirius ran from Godric's Hollow with nothing on his mind but hurting the one who had ruined everything. He searched high and low for the next few hours without result, he was now just wandering around muggle London foolishly hoping Peter would just come around the next corner. When Peter did just that he was a little taken aback. He advanced on the shorter man with murder in his eyes and on his mind. Pete had his wand out already, and as Sirius drew breath to cures him Peter started yelling.
"YOU KILLED THEM SIRIUS BLACK! YOUR BETRAYAL KILLED POOR JAMES AND LILY AND NOW YOU'VE COME FOR ME!"
Sirius saw a flash as Peter blew up the street. He saw a stubby finger on the cracked and blackened pavement and a rat disappear down into the sewers.
As the smoke cleared and the aurors arrived Sirius sat on the pavement amongst the silent dead and the screaming wounded. He laughed helplessly. He laughed hysterically. He laughed because he was too heart-broken to cry. He laughed as he remembered that there were only four people who knew he wasn't the Potter's secret keeper. He tittered as he realised there would be no trial for their betrayer.
He laughed as he realised he would never get to see Harry grow up.
As he realised that he would never hear Remus say "I love you." again.