None of this is owned by me *sad face*…
A.N- Well, we are at the penultimate chapter for this story collection. Hope it is enjoyed by you all. Special shout out to hangai, for the super quick review of the last chapter.
Part Nine- Friends Will Be Friends.If he hadn't had friends, he reasoned, he wouldn't have had anything to lose.
It was all their fault really.
In all honesty, Pete knew that wasn't true. He and he alone had made a deal with Voldemort, joined the ranks of the death eaters through fear and cowardice. He knew that had he possessed the strength to be honest one final time, to admit to the final shortcoming, they would have laid down their lives to save him, and things would have been very different.
They would have gathered at Sirius' flat. Remus would have made tea, it was his default setting in a crisis. Unless things were dire, in which case he would reach for the chocolate he carried at all times. Remus' reasoning was that chocolate could fix most things, and anything it couldn't was obviously fatal and you may as well go out chewing.
Sirius would have paced. Well, first he would have to be forcibly restrained from 'taking the fight to the sodding bastards.' Then he would have paced. As Remus, James and Pete had hunched together over the table, Sirius would have paced behind them, teacup in hand after Remus had shoved it at him, offering helpful hints and the occasional muttered declaration of "Sodding bastards, all of them!"
James would have started by listing everything and everyone at their disposal and offered up six or seven plans of action. Pros and cons would have been discussed, a plan chosen and set in motion.
They would have stood at his shoulder and fought to defend him from his own weakness. All three better men than he, they would have fought, and he could have died the next day.
If he had he would have died loved, he would have died true, he would have died well, he would have died honourably.
He would have died a Marauder.
But he didn't do that.
He had said yes to becoming secret-keeper. He had sat on the second of three burgundy couches pilfered from the Gryffindor common room on their last day at Hogwarts, given to James and Lily on their wedding day from Remus and Sirius. On his knee he had bounced a laughing Harry who gurgled and cooed. He drank from a teacup they had found in a cheap souvenir shop in Sydney when they visited Australia during their first year out of Hogwarts. His eyes remembered the strange light in Australia, but his heart felt nothing. Dumbledore had come and performed the fidelius charm, Peter's spine tingling like the first time he had met the imposing man, his heart felt nothing. Lily had thanked him and hugged him tight, her perfume soft and light hung in the air. His nose remembered that James had bought her the perfume in their last year at Hogwarts, but his heart felt nothing. James had clapped him on the back and grinned, his smile warm. His mouth returned James' smile just as it did all those years ago, the day they met on the train, still his heart felt nothing. He patted Harry on the head as he left, his hands remembered doing this every time he said goodbye since the boy was small and his heart felt nothing.
Pete had walked down the path straight-backed and in minutes he had given up their secret.
Then he vomited.
And he had waited for Sirius to come and bring him the death he deserved. But he hadn't even done that right, Sirius had taken too long to find him and he had chickened out. When Sirius finally did catch up with him he called upon a cunning he never knew he possessed and destroyed another life. He had left Sirius on the pavement, laughing hysterically and had come here, to hide with all the other rats.
It wouldn't be until years later, in the final moments before his death that Peter would realise that the reason his heart had felt nothing that day was because it was broken. In the first and last heartbeat since, he would hesitate in obeying his Dark Lord dooming himself and saving the Boy Who Lived.
In that heartbeat Pete would be more of a Marauder than he had been in his whole life.
But what good would it do him?