Chapter 8

"What do you mean?" She asked and I let my hand linger on her cheek.

"It was an assignment." I mumbled as my eyes lingered on her beautiful face before moving to meet hers. She stared at me for a while confused. "The Director asked me to get close to her to gain information on her father. It was around the time Gibbs came back."

"So this whole time," she paused to think. I saw the anger in her eyes and the tension in her voice. "You have been lying to everyone?"

"I didn't think it through and Jenny made it seem like it was a privilege to be apart of the assignment." I said softly as Avery started to fuss. His hand had gotten caught under his blanket and he wasn't happy.

"It would benefit your career, yes?" Ziva asked as she helped Avery who settled and was sucking on his fingers.

"That's what she told me." I sighed as rubbed Avery's tummy trying to soothe him to sleep as Ziva stroked his hair. When she didn't say anything I looked from the now sleeping baby to her. She was watching Avery thoughtfully as he sucked on his pointer and middle finger. "Ziva, I'm sorry."

"What are you sorry for?" she asked evenly as she carefully got off the bed and walked around to pick up Avery.

"I can get him." I offered and she glared at me as she brought Avery close to her chest.

"I can carry my own child." She hissed with another glare.

"I know you can." I said as I followed her into the nursery. "Can we talk about this?"

"I think you have said it all." She said softly as she placed a kiss to Avery's forehead and placed him in his crib before leading me out of the room.

"Can you just be mad at me or something?" I pleaded as she walked into the kitchen. "Give me some type of reaction."

"You want me to be mad at you?" she questioned as she got herself and myself a glass of water.

"Thanks." I said taking a sip. "I don't want you to be mad, I want you to tell me what you feel."

"Why does it matter, Tony?" she asked. "It is not like we were together and you were cheating."

"It felt like I was." I say as I took a step towards her.

"Why?" she asked not taking a step back or forward.

"We are still partners." I reminded her. I wasn't exactly sure myself why it bothered me so much to be with Jeanne. "And I was not completely honest with you and that bothers me."

"How many people know the truth?" she asked me.

"You, Gibbs, and the director." I said moving a fraction closer to her. "Except the director doesn't know I ended it with Jeanne."

"Why?" she asked as her eyes locked with mine and I couldn't help but smile at the challenging look on her face, she was going to make me work for her forgiveness, and hard.

"I didn't want to be apart of that any more." I said taking another gulp of water. "I didn't want to be with Jeanne and I don't want to spend my free time any where else but here."

"Here?" she questioned as she took the glass from my hand and set it on the counter.

"With Avery, with you." I clarified.

"You are kittened by him." Ziva smiled at me. God, she had a beautiful smile.

"Smitten, and you are too." I laughed.

"I know, he is perfect." She smiled brightly as she glanced behind me towards Avery's nursery.

"Of course he is, look who his parents are." I smirked and Ziva swatted my chest. We fell silent and I closed the space between us and risked resting my forehead against hers. "Ziva."

"What Tony?" she asked softly, her warm breath brushing across my face.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you the truth. I'm sorry I let you believe there was someone else." I whispered as I rested my hands on her hips, careful of her scar. "Someone more important than you and Avery."

"I understand, Tony." She said and I could tell by her voice she didn't mean it.

"You don't. I know I hurt you, Zi." I sighed and nuzzled my nose against hers, still surprised by how close she was letting me get to her. "Leaving you pregnant and alone."

"I am fine." She said trying her best to convince me her words. "Girlfriend or not, do you believe things would have been different?"

"Yes." I replied without thought. "I would have been at the first sonogram, when you found out it was a boy, when he kicked you, the cravings, and mood swings."

"I did not have mood swings." She defended and I just laughed. "Tony, you are forgetting that you did not want to be a father."

"I came around." I reminded her as I moved a hand from her hip and stroked her hair. "After Gibbs and I talked-."

"You talked to Gibbs?"

"Yeah, it went, well I guess." I smiled.

"So he knows?"

"Oh yeah." I confirmed and she sighed. "I corrected his thinking that it was just one night and that I had a real girlfriend I left you for."

"I never said you left me for her." She quickly corrected.

"I know." I laughed and kissed her nose. "Abby knows too."

"What? How?"

"You told her Avery sleeps like me, I guess she figured it out." I laughed as she reflected on when she told Abby that.

"Shoot." She sighed.

"It's fine, according to Gibbs everyone knows any way."

"How do all these people know?" she asked frustrated.

"Not sure." I mumbled and pulled her body closer to mine, enjoying her warmth.

"Tony." She said seriously as she brought her hand up and rested it on my chest. "I appreciate you telling me the truth, but." She paused and stepped back to look at me.

"But what?" I asked nervous.

"I do not want to be presumptuous."

"Just say it, Ziva."

"I am not going to date you again." Um, ouch. I sighed and dropped my chin to my chest.

"I didn't ask you out." I reminded her and she laughed with a wince and placed her hand on my cheek.

"You have that look and you were being cuddly?" she questioned herself on her word choice.

"Ziva, I -." She cut me off by placing her finger over my lips and I fought the urge to lick it to gross her out.

"We do not belong together."

"We do." I confirmed taking her back into my arms. "And we have Avery to prove that."

"Just because we produced a child does not mean we belong together." She reminded me.

"You're forgetting how me made Avery." I smirked running my hands softly up and down her sides. "I would have no problem reminding you."

"I know you would not." She blushed with a yawn. "Just because we are amazing together in bed does not mean we will work."

"Why are you fighting this?" I sighed frustrated.

"Because I do not want to hurt our baby, Tony." She said her hormones getting the best of her again. "I do not want to get hurt, again."

"I'm sorry." I whispered against her forehead. "But if you didn't leave me we would still be together and wouldn't have had to deal with this Jeanne bullshit."

"So now it is my fault?" she asked stepping or rather pushing away from me.

"No, well yeah." I sighed. "You broke my heart first."

"So what, this was some type of cash back?" she growled throwing her arms in the air.

"What? No. I wouldn't do that to you." I said my voice gradually getting louder. "I also wouldn't of given us up because of Gibbs and what he would think."

"Oh, so I gave us up?"

"You broke us up."

"Maybe, Tony, I wanted you to fight for us. Because I know how much Gibbs, and what he thinks means to you, so it was up to you." She yelled at me. "So I broke us up and let you decide what was more important. Your job or us."

"You were testing me?" I growled hurt. "You coulda just told me, or even asked me."

"Your job is your life, Tony, that much is clear." She said as she brought the glasses to the sink.

"What's that suppose to mean?" I asked as I stood behind her at the sink, pressing my chest against her back. "Because you're my partner, my job is to have your back."

"Maybe I wanted to be more than your job." She said as she pushed against me and walked to her room and closed the door softly behind her.