alright, here's the actual chapter one.

CHAPTER ONE: flouresent adolescent

autumn

Sunlight peeked through the blinds in Marissa's bedroom. She sat up, then yawned and stretched. Letting her feet dangle off the edge of her huge bed, she turned and kissed her husband good morning.

"Hey." He said, his voice gravelley.

"Morning Ryan." Marissa smiled. For some reason it was gorgeous mornings like these that reminded Marissa the most of her mornings with Alex. The way the sunlight danced over Alex's face and made her hair shine. Turned her skin golden and her eyelashes seem even darker. And how Alex would slowly open her eyes and they would smile before her mouth did. And that mouth . .

Marissa pulled herself to the present, but already the morning had lost it's appeal. It had been five years since Alex had left, but sometimes, especially on mornings like these, Marissa missed Alex just as much as she had the day she had left. Marissa smiled at Ryan again, though this time it was more forced. Then, she slid out of bed and walked to their bathroom. She had taken to ignoring any thought she had of Alex, a kind of instinct she had formed over the years the other girl had been gone. Marissa had learned that there was no forgetting Alex.

Alex rolled out of bed and her feet and hands barely hit the ground before her face. That was her way of getting out of bed in the morning. Marissa on the other hand. . . Alex didn't bother trying to stop her random thoughts of Marissa. She had learned a long time ago that they would always be there, in the back of her mind. She figured she could either accept it or get a lobotomy. She chose the cheaper one.

"Morning honey." Rachel, Alex's girlfriend, as well as personal assistant, walked in holding two cups of coffee. Alex smiled gratefully.

"Thanks." She said and leaned forward to kiss Rachel, slow and sweet. She pushed away any thoughts of Marissa. That was another thing Alex didn't allow herself to do. Compare kisses, touches, sex with Marissa to anyone else, because the other person always, always, came out on the losing end. When Alex pulled away from her, Rachel was smiling, her eyes still closed. Alex hadn't ever really moved on from Marissa, she guessed, the other girl just hung around in the back of her brain, whispering doubts and long past wishes. Rachel opened her eyes and handed Alex a piece of paper.

"Appointments." Rachel said, climbing on the bed next to Alex. She pointed to one. "That's about some charity concert that you need to go to with Jeremy Rochester." Jeremy was one of Alex's bigger clients. Being one of the best band managers in LA meant Alex got a few big clients.

"Your going to be staying in Newport for a few days and you have to-" Rachel was cut off by Alex.

"Wait, in Newport?" Alex asked, her mind going over the fact. Rachel nodded and continued, not noticing her girlfriend's sudden silence.

"Yeah, Newport, at the Atwood Hotel." Alex raised her eyebrows.

"As in Ryan Atwood?" Alex was trying to process that. She was going to Newport, where Marissa had lived, or still did for all she knew, a place Alex had been avoiding for years, and she was staying at Ryan Atwood's hotel?

"As in Ryan and Marissa Atwood." Rachel corrected her. "They co-own it."

"So, they're married?" Alex asked, her face losing its color.

"Yeah, why? Do you know them?" Rachel was trying to figure out what was going on. Alex nodded.

"I dated them, both of them actually. First Ryan and then Marissa, while she was dating Ryan." Alex admitted. Rachel raised her eyebrows sympathetically.

"He must really hate you." She commented. Alex shook her head.

"He probably still doesn't know." She admitted, smirking, and Rachel laughed.

"Well you and Marissa have fun keeping it a secret, cause she's your PR." Alex turned to face Rachel.

"You mean she's gonna be there? The whole time? All the time?" Alex didn't know what to think. Happy? Nervous? Excited? Scared out of her fucking mind?

"Yeah, that's what a PR does." Rachel said. Alex looked down at the sheet of paper for a while.

"Look, if you don't want to see your exes, I'm sure we can get someone else to go." Rachel offered, seeing Alex's hesitation. Alex shook her head.

"I'll go." She said. The truth was, Alex wanted to see Marissa. She wanted to find out if the girl she had loved for so many years was still someone Alex wanted to love. Maybe they would see each other and Alex would realize that she didn't love Marissa any more. Or maybe everything that had happened five years ago would just happen again.

Either way, Alex Kelly was going back to Newport.