A/N: so this is probably out of character, but I don't really care, lol.

Chapter Eleven

"So what do you want for dinner?" I asked as I parked her car outside her complex.

"I do not know." She said as she unbuckled her seatbelt and stepped out of the car and I did the same and pulled Avery's door open. "What do you want?"

"Grilled cheese." I said as I lifted a sleeping Avery out from his car seat careful not to wake him. "With bacon."

"I do not have bacon, Tony." She laughed as she walked around the car to where I was and took Avery's bag and we walked up to her apartment. "But I do have bread and cheese."

"Do you have tomato soup?" I asked as Avery started to stir awake.

"I think." She smiled as she unlocked the door and flipped the light on as we both kicked off our shoes and I took off Avery's Nikes that I insisted he wore. They were red, black, and white, which of course went well with his state onesie that he was wearing.

"What time is it?" I asked as Avery tugged on his ear, a sure sign he was tired.

"Almost seven." She said from the kitchen. "Why?"

"Avery's doing the ear thing." I said as I watched her pull the cheese and bread out and head to the cabinet to look for soup. "But he's usually a night owl."

"Did you just call my son an owl?" she asked seriously as she pulled out a can of Campbell's tomato soup and I smirked.

"A night owl." I repeated as I settled Avery in the crook of my arm and slowly rocked him as he let out a yawn. "He likes to be up late. You said he used to keep you up all night too when you were prego."

"He did, always kicking and moving around." She said as she put the soup on the counter and stepped in front me. I watched as she smiled and ran her finger down Avery's cheek. He yawned again and she dropped soft kiss to his forehead. "He is not used to day care though, they said he did not nap that long."

"If we put him down now, he'll be up earlier tomorrow." I said as she stroked his hair.

"We cannot keep him up though, he will just be grouchy." She said as Avery snuggled closer to my chest.

"You're right." I said as we walked to his nursery and we each kissed him before I laid him down in the crib. I smiled as I watched Ziva pull the soft blue blanket over him.

"He's beautiful." She said as she rested her arms on the railing and gazed down at him.

"He is." I agreed as I looked from my sleeping boy to her. She sighed as she ran her fingers through his hair once more, whispered something in Hebrew, and left the room.

"Think Gibbs will be able to stop the director?" she asked as she pulled out the frying pan and started dinner.

"Dunno." I said as I stood next to her and watched her lay pieces of cheese on the bread. "Hopefully."

"If she does, I do not know what will happen." She said as she kept her eyes on the dinner. "If he will be outraged or if he will even care."

"He'll care." I said and ran my hand up and down her back trying to reassure her.

"Let's not talk about that, okay?" she asked as she turned to me with a hesitant smile.

"Okay." I said and set the table. "What do you want to drink? Wine?"

"No, ice tea is fine." She said and I nodded.

"Ice tea it is." I smiled as I pulled two glasses down and filled them with ice tea then set them on the table. "Almost ready?"

"Yeah." She said as I jumped on the counter behind her. "Hungry?"

"Yeah." I said as I watched her turn from the stove and stand between my legs and wrap her arms around my neck. "You?"

"Yeah." She said and she pulled a hand back and ran it through my hair. I couldn't tell if she was teasing me or testing me.

"If you keep doing that I'm going to end up kissing you." I said as I placed my hands on her hips and drew her closer to me.

"Dinner's ready." She said as she pecked my lips softly and pulled away quickly and put the sandwiches on our plates. "What?"

"You haven't kissed me in almost a year." I said as I watched her place the plates on the table, my lips still tingling. "Well initiated a kiss, you've kissed me back the what three times we've kissed the past year?"

"Did you not want me to kiss you?" she asked with a sly smile as she sat at the dinner table.

"I always want you to." I laughed as I slid in the seat next to her.

"Then what is the problem?" She laughed as she ate her sandwich.

"Nothing." I said with a grin as I watched her for a couple moments longer before taking a bite of my own sandwich. "That was good." I said as I finished my grilled cheese and took her plate.

"I forgot your soup." She sighed as she followed me over to the sink and noticed the red and white can sitting on the counter.

"It's fine, Zee." I laughed as put the plates in the dishwasher and grabbed the frying pan to wash.

"You do not have to do dishes, Tony." She said as she wrapped her arms around my waist and settled her head between my shoulder blades. I love a cuddly Ziva.

"I know." I said as I quickly finished the frying pan and set it on a towel before turning in her arms. "What do you want to do now?"

"I want to figure us out before I have to figure my father out, and everything else." She said as she stepped away from me and took my hand and led me to her room.

"Whoa, Ziva." I said as I stopped following and she turned back to look at me confused. "I don't think sex is the answer."

"Sex? I'm not going to have sex with you." She laughed. "I just want to lay down, we can still talk like that, yes?"

"Yeah, but you don't have to seem so against the idea of having sex with me." I mumbled as we entered her bedroom.

"I am going to change." She said as she pulled out my old t-shirt and a baggy pair of pajamas bottoms.

"Okay." I said as I sat on the edge and stared at the closed bathroom door. She came out soon later and gave me a weird look as she walked around the bed and got under the covers and laid on her side. I looked back at her and stood from the bed to take my suit jacket off then laid on my stomach and looked at her.

"What?" She asked as she scooted closer and stroked my hair again.

"I didn't say anything." I laughed as I watched her face closely.

"Do you like being a father?" she asked as her hand moved through my hair and down my back, gently massaging the tension away.

"Yeah, I really do." I said seriously. "I wish some things were different though."

"Like what?" she asked as she dropped her head next to mine on the pillow and kissed my nose.

"Like this." I said as pushed her hair off her face. "Every night, I wish this was every night."

"Me too." She whispered as she snuggled deeper into the covers. "Did you have sex with her?"

"Yeah." I sighed as I looked away from Ziva and guilt settled in my chest, but her hand moved back to my hair. She obviously wanted to hear more. "After a while, yeah. It was weird. I felt like I was cheating on you and it killed. It wasn't like us. It wasn't-." I paused and looked at her. "It just wasn't us, she wasn't you. And it wasn't just the sex thing, it was everything. Everything wasn't you. I missed you."

"Did she know about Avery?"

"No, I did my best to make sure everything was separate." I said. "Until she brought up not using condoms."

"You actually had a conversation about that?" she asked confused and I laughed.

"It ended as quickly as it started." I said with a shiver from the cool night air.

"Why don't you get under the covers?"

"Because I'll fall asleep." I laughed.

"It is better than sleeping on the floor." She said and I pushed off the bed and stripped to my boxers and climbed under the covers next to her. "Better?"

"You have no idea." I smiled as I scooted as close to her as I could get and intertwined our legs as she went back to stroking my hair. "I understand why you left me and I'm sorry I didn't fight for you. I want to be together though, like a couple, a family. We can start over if you want."

"I do not want to start over." She said seriously as she ran her hand down my shoulder to my hand and squeezed. "We have already had our first date and it was perfect, I do not want to replace that."

"What do you want to do?" I asked.

"I just want to be with you." She said her voice soft and emotional. "Forget about the director and her assignment. I want it to be just me, you, and Avery."

"Okay." I said as I moved closer and kissed her gently. "You should know, that if you try to leave me again, I won't let you." I laughed as did she. "Seriously, I don't want that for Avery."

"Avery." She smiled and got lost in her thoughts.

"Ziva?" I asked and waited for her eyes to meet mine.

"What?" she asked with a yawn.

"I love you." I whispered and squeezed her hand. "Seriously."

"I know." She grinned and kissed me deeper this time as I rolled her onto her back. "I am still not having sex with you, Tony."

"I was just kissing you." I said as I kissed her again and she moaned.

"I love you too, by the way." She said shyly and blushed. "Now turn the light off."

"You turn it off." I said as I snuggled into my pillow.

"Tony." She pleaded as she rocked me.

"It's your light."

"It is also my bed and I will kick you out." She warned and I groaned and quickly flipped the light off before jumping back into the bed and that was exactly when Avery's cries filled the air. "That is the 'I want Daddy' cry."

"He does that at night, he doesn't know I'm here?" I asked as I pushed off the bed.

"That does not mean he doesn't want you still." She laughed as I slipped out of the room and into my son's room.