A/N: Crap... I lost the original A/N for this chapter. Damn it website document manager!

Anyway, as of late I've been going back to MV1 and editing some of the conversations. So this is Present!Me going back and editing stuff. Yeah, mostly the conversations changed, so... yeah. You know how it is.

Chapter 7: Feros, Part 1

After we had stayed on the Citadel, we left for Feros.

The journey took a bit longer than I thought it would. That navigation interface makes travelling in the galaxy look easy. But no, there was so much time to kill that I actually spent too much time thinking. But that's fine. I got to hang out with some of the crew of the Normandy a bit more, catching up with Garrus, Tali, Wrex, and Liara as much as I could. Ash is kind of starting to warm up to me, I think, even if she still snarks about the sound of my voice every so often. Shepard is always friendly, and we talk about our siblings sometimes. Al seems to be pretty innocent despite being in N7 training...

Kaidan and I get along well enough, but something seems a little off to me. Like he suspects me. A lot of his questions have been asking me what my life was like back on Earth, but I insistently dodged the question whenever he came up with info I couldn't counter. I would do an extranet search afterwards to see what was up with the Boston area so I could add background to my cover story, but still, I get the feeling that we'll reach a point where I won't be able to hold my cover up anymore. Hopefully by that time I won't be here anymore, but still...

I just hope things don't get too out of hand.

That said, though, I am very much looking forward to this coming mission. Shepard has asked Tali, Liara, Kaidan, and myself to come on down to Feros with her. I get to go on a mission with Tali! Yay! And we'll see how two biotics can work together. Everything will be flying up on this mission, I can tell you that much. And it will be awesome.

I can't wait for Feros. It'll be a really long day, but hey, it's a Bioware RPG, I have to get used to it sooner or later.

All right, it's the day of the mission. I'm strapped in my armor, and I just left the mess hall from breakfast. I am going along when I run into Ash along the corridors.

"Hey Ash," I say nodding.

The Gunnery Chief nods, stopping in place. "Hello, Serviceman," she says. "I wanted to ask you something before you went over to Feros."

I nod at this, crossing my arms as I stop in place. "What's up?" I ask.

She gestures to my head. "Are you planning on getting your hair cut anytime soon?" she asks.

Oh, God, now she's getting at my hair too? "Hey, I like my hair," I say, pointing at it. "It's nice and long. That's all I need!"

The gunnery chief gives me a look. "I dunno, Serviceman, we do have regs against hair of that length," she says. "It does tend to get in the way of combat."

I shake my head. "I'd rather not," I say. "You know how it is..."

Ash shrugs, and then I see her unveil a grey cloth. She holds it out to me. "Then you might want to take this," she says. "Just so it doesn't get in your line of sight."

Oh? I'm gonna look like a Gears of War dude now? "Oh?" I ask, taking the cloth from her. "So I just take this and wrap it around my head?"

"Alliance regs allow for that if you don't like to cut your hair," she says. "Either way, they don't want hair in your vision."

"I see," I say. Hm... She's just looking out for me, then. Not trying to be annoying. Right. I get that impression about a lot of people. Taking a quick glance at the grey cloth, I nodded. Taking it in my hands, I brush my hair back as much as I can, leaning my head back so it would stay that way. Applying the cloth that Ash gave me, I tied it around so that the knot formed behind my head. I'm not experienced with these kinds of things, but after a little while I manage to get it to look more or less satisfactory. Nodding, I feel the object on my head and nod.

"Well?" I ask. "How do I look?"

Ash nods, a small smile coming on her face. "Not bad, Serviceman," she says. "Not bad at all."

"I guess not," I say, nodding. "It feels... a little odd, though. But I'll get used to it. Thanks, Ash."

"No problem," she says with a nod. "Good luck on Feros."

"Thanks," I say, moving to walk down the corridor. "You take care of the crew while we're gone!"

And that is what happens with our brief little exchange there. I head over to the airlock of the Normandy soon after, and I find Shepard and Tali already waiting for me. I nod to Tali befoe looking at Shepard. Both of them are eyeing the grey cloth strangely.

"That's a rather... odd cloth you have there," comments Tali.

"I'll bet Ash got it to you," adds Shepard.

I nod. "That she did," I reply. "You never know with these Alliance regs."

I get agreement from Shepard as I divert my attention to the air lock.

We leave the Normandy's air lock shortly after. Hm...

"Something about all this is too quiet," I comment, just loud enough to be heard by the squad but hoping it was not loud enough to be heard by anything else.

"You don't say," comments Shepard. "They didn't respond to our hails..."

"I hope the geth attack was not too bad," adds Kaidan as we move down the platform.

Oh, dear, Kaidan. You've got no idea. You've got no idea at all... I hope the Thorian isn't too bad. He sounds like one nasty motherfucker after what Saren does to him... Shit, I hope he can't read my mind...

Right.

We move down the platform, and we see a lone man there. Oh, dear. This is not a good welcoming party, I can tell you that much... Only one guy can't be a good sign...

We move closer to him, such that we get by his side. Oh, dear, the poor guy looks exasperated.

"Hey, are you okay?" I ask, looking over to the man.

"No..." he says, shaking his head. "The geth overran Zhu's Hope."

Oh, shit. Just as I had hoped would not happen. We cast glances at each other, and I look to Shepard.

"Can you tell us what happened?" she asks.

The man shakes his head. "No," he says. "You should find your way into Zhu's Hope and speak to Fai Dan."

Kaidan blinks at this. "Why not?" he asks, crossing his arms.

"All I know is that Fai Dan sent out a signal for aid," he said. "You have to go see him. Soon."

Liara opens her mouth to press the issue further when suddenly a shot goes off. The man falls limp on the ground, and then we see a geth trooper standing there, its single glowing eye glancing at us.

"Shit!" I shout, reaching for my assault rifle. "Geth!"

I dive behind cover, firing a few rounds at the geth as the others draw their weapons. I see Liara and Kaidan check their ammo as I sidle up next to Tali. Oh, dear, this isn't going to be fun at all...

Kaidan emerges briefly from his cover, and before I can say anything else I suddenly see a geth hover in the air, rising above the floor ever so slowly. All right, there's a chance. I pop out of my cover and fire at the mechanical creature as I hear Tali take her shotgun out and fire at another of the sentient robots coming to them from behind that one. Liara manages to levitate that one as well, which I only notice as soon as I fire into the geth enough times to take its shields down. It falls back to earth quickly, but Tali drops a shotgun blast on it head and it is more or less out of commision. I glance up and see Shepard firing a few rounds into a geth I can't see, and I suddenly notice Kaidan firing on the geth that Liara had suspended in midair. I join him then, letting the rapid fire weapon help Kaidan finish the geth off.

I peer around the corner as the geth falls to the ground, having been taken out of commission. I see a few more geth coming this way, and...

All right. Time to put that shotgun to good use.

I switch out my weapons, waiting for a good opportunity to fire when I get there. I see Kaidan raise his hand out to raise a geth, and a machine flies up accordingly. Shepard starts firing at it, and its shields get weakened considerably as I see. When its shields are down, I take this time to come out of my cover and fire a shotgun shell at it. Here goes!

I pull the trigger, and while I do nearly get knocked back by the recoil I feel satisfied when I see the geth's lights flicker out. I cock my shotgun and fire again, this time knowing how to expect the recoil. I watch, satisfied, as the geth seems to get taken out of comission, and then I duck back down behind my cover. A bit late, I should say, but the fight seems like it's very close to being over seeing as how Tali and Liara have already gotten to the final geth while I was taking care of the lone one that Kaidan had elevated above the ground.

Hey, wait... I think we're thinking like a team here. Biotics raise stuff, one of us fires on it while the others concentrate on the ground units. We're beginning to find our niche as a team. I guess it's a kind of nice thing to see. Here we are, a bunch of oddballs doing stuff, and we're beginning to function like we know each other too well. I'm liking where this is going.

I look to Shepard. "Damn..." she says.

"It seems the geth have really taken over," comments Tali.

I shrug. "We can't lose hope," I say. "If one of the colonists was able to get this far away from the rest of the colony, then I think the colonists are fine." Well, that, and I know they're fine. But they won't be once they get affected by the Thorian. Either way, shit's gonna hit the fan real hard once we get to the ExiGen headquarters.

"That's true," says Kaidan, looking down the hallway where the geth came out of. "But I don't think we can stay here for long. They could get overrun any second."

"Seems we got that distress beacon for a reason," adds Shepard. "Come on, let's go find Zhu's Hope."

And hopefully... Oh, dear, I swear I thought of this before...

Oh, well. Let's terminate more geth, motherfuckers!

Okay, wow, there are a lot of geth here. Much more so than the game. I can see why the distress beacon was so... well, distressed. We almost got overwhelmed once or twice. But, fortunately, Shepard is as good with her biotics as she is with her gun, so a little bit of biotic work managed to save us. Huh, there are a lot of biotics on this mission. I wonder if Shepard thought of that beforehand. It makes for a nice balance; someone who can disable and hack into geth units and possibly get them to work for us, two guys who can levitate things, and two guys who can shoot stuff reasonably well. I kind of like how she's thinking.

I failed at that... So yeah, I'm a little jealous. But seeing her in action now... it's really easy to see why people look up to her. She can keep her head calm in any situation, she can fire guns really well... I knew that controlling her in the game meant she got some kind of god-like power, but then she was still vulnerable, especially if the difficulty was too high. But here, she really feels nigh-untouchable, even when she's administering medi-gel on her person. It's no wonder Cerberus will want to bring her back. Sometimes I pause when I shoot my gun so I can get a look at the commander. Because god damn it, is she good. I love every second of it.

Well... I guess I've thought about that for long enough. Back to the subject at hand.

We eventually come across a rather odd structure. I give it an odd look as I step forward. And then, we find colonists!

"Oh hey, the colonists are still alive," I point out.

"This is very good," says Shepard. "We need to find this Fai Dan person that he person at the docking bay told us about."

And with this, we enter the structure. Shepard goes first, being the commander and all, and we're left to trail. I hold my weapon slightly at ease, still feeling a little tense about the whole 'attacked by geth' bit. When we enter the craft, though, we see two humans looking around. Oh, hey, it's Fai Dan and that Arcelia chick!

Seeing this, Shepard lowers her weapon and moves over to the two humans. They suddenly notice Shepard, and a smile lights up one of their faces. It's Fai Dan's face.
"Oh, Commander," he says. "I'm glad they finally sent someone to help us."

The woman gives us a look of contempt. "You're a bit late, aren't you?" she asks.

I give her a leery look back. I'm on the same track as Fai Dan. "Arcelia!" he says reprimandingly. He turns back to us with a nod. "Sorry, Commander," he says. "We have all been on edge since-"

And he doesn't get to say anything more before I feel a round whiz by my head.

"Shit, Geth stormed the tower!" shouts Arcelia as she grabs her firearm out quickly. I do the same, getting out my shotgun as the rest of the crew of the Normandy sits back behind cover and the geth shoot at us.

"Protect the heart of the colony!" shouts Fai Dan.

I look to Shepard as the rounds begin to fly by and some colonists show up. She nods to me and then to Kaidan. She gives us a gesture. Oh, okay. Follow her. Right. Got it.
I do that, keeping in a partial crouch as I let off a few pistol shots at the advancing geth. I stay crouched a little too long, and then I notice Shepard running in there. Shit, gotta follow! I sprint in after her, seeing a few geth run towards our position. I fire a few rounds in there just as Kaidan enters behind me. I run behind cover quickly, grabbing an arm out to stop me and taking a second to catch my breath and switch out my gun. All right, time to see what the shotgun can do!

I come out behind cover just as Shepard is seen firing a few rounds into the geth. I come up behind, noticing a geth advance towards us that barely escapes her notice. I cock my shotgun briefly before firing at it. The first shot... partially misses, so I cock it again. Okay, try two. And... this time, I got it! Sweet!

Now to do something about my slowly-depleting shields. I duck back behind cover, taking this time to reload my shotgun. I can hear the chaos around me. Bullets. Shit being fired. Yells. Bleeps and bloops.

Beethoven would've had a field day. If he were alive in this moment in the game, he'd throw out Duke Wellington's Victory: this would probably be the concert overture he would have written instead.

Right, enough speculation on Beethoven. Let's kill some more geth.

I come out of cover just as I see Shepard running to another spot. Kaidan is still close by, levitating a geth in the air as a few escape the commander's notice. Wow, the commander really is untouchable.

But that's not of concern at the moment. I look to the geth in the air and fire my shotgun twice at the geth as I hear Kaidan shoot at a few other geth. I look back down again as it falls to the floor... processor-less? I dunno. I shoot at some more geth, and then see that Shepard is advancing.

Well, since she's going that far I might as well not get left behind. I jump out of cover and sprint after her, shotgun in hand as I hear bullets zoom by me. I swear a few of them got my shields, but hey. I duck back behind cover, breathing in again before popping out. I see a geth run to Kaidan's position, and I fire a shotgun at it once. A burst of blue light then comes from the robot, destroying whatever circuits are within. I don't dwell on it, though, turning around and seeing another geth rush our position. I fire my shotgun at it twice, seeing the geth beginning to slow down. I look back, ducking behind cover as I look to Kaidan. He's advancing quickly, and I turn to find another geth headed towards us. I fire at it, cocking the shotgun against my cover as I feel a bullet grace my fingers.

Well, it only graced it. Good thing one didn't fly off. Good thing too that my armor is of the prototype that recharges its own shields. My shields go back up as I open up my omni-tool and administer some medi-gel. Okay, that should take care of that. Right.

I pop out of my cover and see a few geth. Kaidan has already lifted one off the ground, but I see Shepard running towards us with her assault rifle. She's firing it around in waves, and...

Oh, shit! There's no friendly fire protection in real life! I duck down behind cover as the bullets fly above me. I see a geth run from where I am behind my cover, and I fire at it as Shepard's assault rifle rounds go into it.

There are much more geth that then come pouring out. Oh, boy, time for a field day.

The next few minutes are me rising out of cover with my shotgun in hand. I fire at the geth, and they all seem to fall like flies. Geez, I wonder how expendable Saren sees these things. Whatever, it's more experience for me. My shields deplete themselves several times, however, and each time I'm out of cover a little too long. Damn, I need to learn to duck behind cover more instinctually. I dunno.

But this battle is going by pretty quickly as geth unit after geth unit falls to our firepower. Eventually, we've whittled down the room to just a few geth. I fire a shotgun right at one that hits it in the face, I see a last explosion of blue by another one, and suddenly, sound dies down all around us. All that can be heard is the sound of a drop ship hovering away nearby.

I wipe some sweat off my... wait, I was sweating? Huh. I didn't even notice for some reason. Anyway... I wipe some sweat off my brow, standing up as Shepard and Kaidan reconvene at the center of the room.

"The geth dropship just left," says the commander. "With any luck, it won't attack this tower again."

"Right," I say. "Let's get back to Fai Dan with this information."

Kaidan and Shepard nod, and we all walk back. As we move along, I suddenly seem to notice that Kaidan and Shepard are moving a bit... too close to each other... Huh...
And now they're talking about something. I'll just be the third man out, as I'm really good at being. And they're talking about something I don't really care about either, so that's a plus. Uh...

Wait, why are they walking...

Oh dear. She's gunning for Kaidan, isn't she? Oh, boy. This is going to be very heavy. Shit... This is cruel of me. Kaidan's not going to listen to her on Horizon, so should I...?
No. There's the risk of my cover being blown. And besides, I get the feeling she won't listen to me anyway. But on top of all that, who the fuck am I to deny her whatever will make her happy? I can't just go in there and tell her to not foster a relationship with her Lieutenant; it would be cruel, not to mention against regs. If she feels something for Kaidan... Yeah, I'll just let her be.

And if she's trying to hide the fact that she's fraternizing with someone below her ranks... Well, she ain't doing a very good job of it. But it's cute, so I won't say anything. So yeah.

I just hope my prediction about Horizon is horrifically wrong...

When we get back, we see Tali and Liara standing by Fai Dan. All right, so we've gotten the stuff clear.

"I see the tower is clear," says Fai Dan. "Thank you."

"Hey, we did what we could," I say.

"So will Zhu's Hope be all right?" asks Shepard with a shrug.

Fai Dan shakes his head. "No, unfortunately," he says. "There is still much to be done. We need to reconstruct the colony, and there is still work that needs to be done to make sure the colony can get back on its feet."

"What sort of work?" asks Shepard, crossing her arms.

"We need help with various things," replies Fai with a hand gesture. "Getting power back to the colony, restoring the water, being able to hunt varren... But those are all things in the tunnels. And those are filled with geth right now."

We all glance at each other and shrug. "It shouldn't be a problem," says Kaidan. "We can do all that."

"Excellent!" says Fai. "There are various people you can talk to about all of that. Let them know you're willing to help before you go. They can tell you what each job entails." As we leave, however, he stops us briefly. "Oh, and be careful. I don't think some of the colonists are entirely there."

I raise my brow as Shepard turns to us. "Why do you say that?" she asks.

"I don't know why, but some of the colonists have been acting strange," he says. "As if they're not working on their own. It's kind of wierd."

"I'll bet," I say. "We'll be careful."

Fai Dan simply nods, and then he's back to looking around the colony.

Okay, so we've got our work cut out for us. At least, I know I do. Unless we decide to split up and tackle individual tasks the same way we did when we were on Noveria. I wonder who I'm going with if that's the case.

Well, the colonists definitely were a little odd. But yeah, control spores tend to do that to people. Let's just hope the Thorian isn't too hard to kill when we finally find it. In the meantime...

I just got a ticket to more bonding time with Tali! Yay!

Shepard, Kaidan, and Liara are all going off to tackle the varren problem. Tali and I are going to restore the water, and then we'll reconvene and take out the remaining geth in the tunnels. I have my assault rifle out, she has her shotgun, and her omni tool is poised for action.

Yeah, we ran into some geth down these tunnels. We're shooting our way through a few more of those robots. Well, it'll help clear the geth out of these tunnels. And since we're kind of on the way anyhow, we'll get stuff done. Tali is a tech expert, so we should be fine. And... well, these geth keep turning on themselves. It's almost hilarious, really. But we kick ass, take names, and have fun.

Right. We've defeated the geth all around the area, and now we see a bunch of white things. I look at them, and cross my arms.

"Right," I say. "These look like the panels we need to activate."

"Of course," says Tali, going over to one of the panels and scanning it briefly with her omni tool. "There were quite a lot of geth here."

"Indeed," I reply, looking down. "It's kind of scary, really. I wonder how many more geth are hiding behind the Perseus Veil..."

Tali hesitates, her fingers hovering above the omni tool's interface. "Probably many more," she says. "They never move from there, though... Let's hope that most of them don't."

"I highly doubt that'll happen," I reply. Hm... Maybe I can spoonfeed things slowly. "I wonder... You say the geth asked your people if they have a soul?"

"They did," replies Tali as we hear a bing on the panel. "Why do you ask?"

The two of us move to the next console as I think. "Well, I've been thinking lately," I reply, rubbing my chin as the omni tool interface comes up again. "If the geth do have a soul as they asked you, then wouldn't that make them more similar to us than we think?"

"What do you mean?" asks Tali.

"Like, what if they could... ah... disagree on something?" I ask with a shrug. "Like, form their own factions within each other? Like, say, one group that worships these Reapers and one that doesn't?"

The quarian pauses in her work. Clearly I think I've hit something. I can't see her as her back is to me, but I can sense the uncertainty in her gestures. Hm... Maybe she's thinking about it. This could be good. I dunno.

Finally, she returns to work on the reservoir. "I wouldn't know," she says finally. "I wouldn't worry too much about it, as either way the geth forced us out of our homeworld. They may not all worship the same things, but you must understand that they probably still hold some apathy for the creators..."

I nod. Well, that didn't turn out so well. But looking back, I think she'll see my point once we get Legion in the crew. "I dunno," I say. "It's just something I've been thinking about lately. Maybe A.I. is a far more complex affair than we can fathom."

Tali finishes work on that panel and we move on to the next one. "It definitely is," she comments, bringing up her omni tool again as we approach the third panel. "We were unable to control their sentience."

I shrug. "A.I. and the... er... organic mind, so to speak... I think they're both similar in one way," I say, looking up at the ceiling of the tunnels as Taly works on the panel.

"And what would that be?" asks the quarian.

I shrug. "They're both too complex for any one person to grasp," I say, looking back down at my companion. "Think about it. The mind isn't something we can really fathom. Why do we think? Why do we feel emotion? Why do we store knowledge? That's something we can't really answer. And an A.I. is based on the mind, so that makes us even more at odds. Sure, we know why we want an A.I., but can we understand what is going through its circuits? Probably not. Both are equally complex."

By the time I'm done speaking, Tali is finished with the third panel. She hesitates and turns to me, crossing her arms and giving me what I can only assume is a studious look.

"You know, you confuse me sometimes," she says. "You never seem like the kind of guy that would think into things like that. It's a little jarring..."

Oh, dear. "Well, there are... lots of surprising things about me," I reply with a shrug. Some things I can't reveal, of course, but you don't need to know that.

She nods, and I can feel something faint from behind the mask. "It's actually... very odd for me," she says. "I have never met anyone who can come up with quite the kinds of thoughts you do. And yet, it always puts things in a different perspective. It's... interesting. And it's certainly not something I would will away."

I smile as we walk over to the last panel that needs to be activated. "Glad to know someone doesn't mind my thinking aloud," I reply.

"It gives many new perspectives on something," she says as she hovers over it with her omni tool. "And new perspectives are good when you try to think of everyone."

I nod. "That's good to know," I say. "Except for the fact that I was thinking about the geth..."

"Still, it's not a bad thing," she concedes, her fingers gliding deftly over the omni tool interface. "You never know... We'll see what happens with this idea."

Oh, so she's keeping it in mind. Okay, that's good. I love the sound of that.

Her omni tool cuts off, and then we hear a slight whirr. I look around, and nod. "Well, the water's been restored," I say. "So I would think we're done here."

"That we are," she says with a nod. "Shepard's probably waiting for us."

"Then let's go!" I say.

And we leave the tunnels. This is... starting to feel like a strangely familiar place. It's certainly a very good kind of conversation, and it would definitely be one that Bioware would put up. It's a good thing they had the in-squad banter between characters in their games, although I don't think they've quite reached the apex the way they have in something like Dragon Age. But still, it's a good look into how the characters around the main character interact. And each game is all the better for it. And you know what? It's fun talking to the other squad members during a mission. It's awesome for opinions, and it answers a question I used to have about RPG games: what would members of the party say to each other?

This is most interesting, really. But I'm getting off track as we go to meet up with Shepard.

Well, we took care of the remaining geth and returned to Zhu's hope. After getting some things done, Fai Dan told us about the nearby ExoGeni headquarters, where the geth seem to have been concentrating from. Huh, I don't remember that from the game. It may be because I haven't played it in a while, but... Hm.

Well, whatever. We have to head to ExoGeni. And that will be quite fun. I wonder what the Mako will do there. That will be quite fun to ride on, I bet.

And we'll find out soon enough, as Shepard and the group sees the vehicle. I look at it. Damn, it looks so much more badass in real life. I guess it's because of the metal; it's different from what it was in the game. It's not exactly silver metal; it's more like a greenish metal. Like those veridium things from Dragon Age. Greenish-silver, I guess. It's a nice color to have, it seems. And many things go well with that. I wonder...

Shepard gets to drive. Good thing, because I'm a terrible driver. Liara, Tali, Kaidan and I all step into a rather small passenger area with no windows. All we have to see outside are virtual interfaces that show us the outside world in very close detail. Oh, hey, it's like the daytime driving cameras from Daybreakers! It's interesting to see what the inside of this vehicle looks like, as we never actually saw it in the game. It's futuristic enough...

... Right down to the fact that the chairs don't have any seat-belts. What the fuck? There are harnesses there like what I'd find on a roller coaster, but still. What the hell? They can't produce small leathery straps in the future? Oh, dear... This may not go well.

I sit in a seat and pull the restraint over me. "I don't know, but I've got a bad feeling about this," I say.

Surprisingly, Kaidan gives me an odd look as he enters the Mako. "I guess you've heard about Shepard's terrible driving skills?" he asks.

I tense up slightly. Wait, Shepard's the problem? I know that Yahtzee made fun of the Mako's poor gravity physics in his review of Mass Effect 2, but that was more because of Shepard? "Uh... not really," I say.

"Oh, dear," says Tali as she gets in. "It is not something you should be looking forward to."

"Why?" I ask. "What's up?"

"It's Shepard," says Kaidan with a shrug as he pulls the restraint over him. "We're almost guaranteed a bumpy ride. She's a good commander, but her driving leaves something to be desired..."

I shift uncomfortably as Liara sits in the Mako. "Somehow, that doesn't make me feel any better," I say. "I guess we'll find out soon enough."

"To Shepard's credit, it does seem as if this model has... springy wheels," says Liara in her defense. "This discussion would suggest she doesn't seem to know how to handle it yet, however."

Oh, god damn it! "Stop it!" I say, holding out my hands. "You're making the anticipation kill me!"

"Sorry, sorry," says Kaidan. "But what do you mean, anticipation?"

I shrug. "I always get tense when I expect something," I say. "It's part of my nature. I mean, you know. My fear of deadlines should be a dead giveaway for that, anyhow. I just get tense when I have expectations of something. It's always happened."

Kaidan gives me a rather odd look. He looks like he's about ready to speak, but he's thankfully interrupted by the engine of the Mako... wait, they have engines in the future that make this much noise? I simply sit there and take it with a grain of salt. Right. Now it's time to see-

Whoah! She speeds right out of the gate. This catches me by surprise, and I grip the restraint with a suddeness I didn't think I had. Shit, that was fast. And partly uncomfortable. Damn it, my head hit that part of the Mako pretty damn hard. Ow... Well, at least it wasn't like Noveria when the asari commando flung me. At least there's that.

And, oh, shit, the ride just got incredibly bumpy. I hear some weird things ping against the side of the ship, and I look forward.

"What the hell?" I ask.

"Bullets!" shouts Kaidan over the suddenly very high levels of noise. "They're pinging off the vehicle!"

Oh, dear, I didn't think bullets hitting a vehicle would be this loud! I sit back, wide-eyed as the ride suddenly gets just a bit bumpier.

And then suddenly, I feel my entire body slide an inch or so to the side, my body hitting the restraint as somehow we're careening around in a circle. I look to the interface on the side of the vehicle and see the world spinning around us, some kind of wierd geth vehicle. The armatures, no doubt. Fuck...

When the spinning ends, my head reels slightly with the Mako as it rights itself. I feel ourselves accelerating forward again, the ride becoming extremely bumpy yet again as I notice we're moving forward.

"Okay..." I say. "Maybe you were right, Liara. These wheels-"

And I'm interrupted yet again by a loud noise, and suddenly the entire Mako seems to have made some kind of jump.

"Oh, shit!" We're leaning to the side! Oh, shit, don't flip, don't flip, don't flip, don't flip!

I hear a noise, feel myself press down against the seat briefly, and I know we're back on the ground.

"Shit..." I whisper to myself as the bumpy ride continues. Shit, this is something straight out of an Orlando theme park. Probably like the Back to the Future ride that used to be at Universal before Matt Groening took over the attraction building... It's bumpy, it's wild, and it would probably be fun if this wasn't in the middle of a battlefield or something. Shit, this is really scaring me! Just hang on tight to your restraint. Shit, Art, just hang on tight, play some rock music in your head and pretend Mikaela Banes is at the wheel with Bumblebee riding out on the back shooting at stuff...

Except for the fact that this car can jump. Which would be awesome if it wasn't for the fact that I'm nearly flying out of my seat on the way down. Fuck! This is like a free-fall ride, only in a closed space! Oh, God, help!

Ah, crap, what the hell was that bump? Shit, ow ow ow! Oh, crap. Ow! The ride is hurting me! Stop the ride! Stop the ride! Ow!

I don't remember what the hell happens after that. I just feel a generally bumpy ride, with no hope of escaping. And suddenly, it all stops. It just, stops. I'm left inhaling deeply for a few seconds, my eyes wide as I look to Kaidan, Liara, and Tali, my hands clenched into fists around my restraints. It's not until Kaidan biotically moves my hands away that I see the restraint come up. I look to the group terror in my eyes.

Everybody else nods at this. "You get frightened easily, I take it," says Liara.

I nod, too petrified to do anything else. "Whatever you do, do not make me ride this thing again once we leave Feros," I say finally. "Especially with Shepard at the wheel. Please, dear god, don't!"

"We'll try to keep it in mind," says Kaidan as he helps me to a standing position. "I can't promise anything, though."

And with this, we exit that god-forsaken vehicle. I'm with Yahtzee on this one: the gravity does not make driving fun. Except that instead of making it frustrating like in the game, it's absolutely terrifying in real life. I mean... that driving was something that would get your license taken away back home in Miami. And given how horribly everybody drives down there, that says a lot.

Shit, never again. If I can help it, never, ever again.

Right. We had to reboard the Mako. Turns out we had run into someone that had holed up just outside of Exogeni headquarters. And then I got to it on the Mako again and go with Shepard's terrible driving. Whoop-de-fucking-doo.

And now we get off, hopefully for good this time. Now that we're making headway into going in the ExoGeni headquarters, we've come across the place. We've come to a barrier, and, well, there's no other way in, so. Good thing we found a cave. We jump in, and we put our weapons away. I don't see any geth around here, so we should be-
A shot sounds off, and it deflects off of Shepard's shields. We all draw our weapons, and look to where the shot came from. But... it's a human woman in an ExoGeni uniform, scared out of her mind, and holding her firearm with a shaky hand. Why, hello there Lizbeth!

"Damn it!" she says, advancing slowly with her firearm held out. "I'm so sorry! I thought you were geth, or one of those varren." She approaches, and we all put our firearms away as she comes closer to us.

"Who are you, and what are you doing in here?" asks Shepard as we all walk forward.

The woman shakes her head. "It's my fault," she says. "Everyone else was running and I stayed to back up data." Oh, trust me woman, I know how that feels. Especially when you're paranoid like me. "Next thing I knew, the geth ship latched on and the power went out. I was trapped... I tried to get out, but the path was blocked by that energy field that the geth put up. They don't want anyone getting access to the-"

"We're here for the geth," continues Shepard. "It's very important that we find out what they're after."

Lizbeth shrugs, balancing slightly on one leg more than the other as she speaks. "I don't know for certain, but I'm guessing they're here for the Thorian," she says.

"A thorian?" asks Kaidan. "What's that?"

"It's an indigenous life form," continues Lizbeth. "ExoGeni was studying it."

I sigh and shake my head. "Oh, dear," I say. "Why is it that everyone trusts corporations or governments that study biological life forms? Didn't the Weapon-X project teach us all to explicitly avoid stuff like this?"

"It is difficult to comprehend your complaint," says Liara as she looks over to me. "What is Weapon X?"

"Uh... Comic book reference," I reply. "Not that important to the complaint itself. I mean, I don't know about you guys, but it seems to me that whenever some group with tons of money studies a biological life form it never ends well for anybody involved."

"Of course," says Shepard with a shrug. "That isn't exactly important now, though." Our attentions turn back to Lizbeth. "What else can you tell us? Do you know where this Thorian is?"

She hesitates slightly, but nods. "I might be able to, but not with the geth crawling around everywhere," she says. "Look, we need to get past the energy field!"

"Do yu know any way we can get past it?" asks Shepard.

"No, not exactly," concedes Lizbeth. "But I think the geth ship is powering it. I've noticed the geth laying power cables everywhere. You could follow those cables, but there's geth all over the place."

Shepard nods. "All right, we'll look into it," she says. "Stay put until the field is down."

Lizbeth scoffs softly at this. "Yeah, you don't need to tell me twice," she says. "I'll just find something to hide in until the field goes down." She takes something out of her uniform then, handing it to Shepard. "Here, take my ID," she continues. "This should get you past any locked doors. Good luck with that field."

And with this, Lizbeth runs and hides somewhere. We all look to everything else before Shepard shrugs.

"Let's go find this ship," says the commander.

And we don't need any extra confirmation to do so. We go along the path laid out before us, and we head to find the geth dropship.

Of course, it didn't take us long to find ourselves in front of a VI again. There was a krogan who just tried to kill us, but he went down pretty easily thanks to a few biotic attacks from Kaidan and Liara. I actually got the kill, as I actually got him with a shotgun to the face. That was something I don't think I ever want to see again... Or do again, for that matter. It was quite messy...

Anyways, we're now standing in front of a VI. We've just flashed our ID badge, gotten reprimanded for using weapons, and, well, it's nice to know that not all interfaces look like women that would look better if they were in the flesh.

"Welcome back, Research Assistant Elizabeth Baynham. What can I do for you?"

At this, we all give each other looks. Liara nods at this, and I simply shrug.

"At least Lizbeth is all right," says the asari. "We'll see her soon, of course."

I nod at this, and then Shepard faces the VI.

"What information was the last user attempting to access?" she asks.

The VI hesitates for a moment, looking at us coldly. You know, this is honestly a little creepy looking at the VI. I don't know what it is... but something about these VI's just doesn't look right to me. I can't place if it's because it's holographic or because of the eyes or what, but... yeah, these things are creepy. And people thought the uncanny valley behind the mouth motions of the Heavy Rain character models was bad...

"Fetching Data," says the VI. "The previous user was attempting to access details on the study of Subject Species 37, the Thorian."

"What did you tell him?" asks Shepard.

"I was unable to provide the previous user with relevent data," continues the VI nonchalantly. "Aside from lacking proper access, there has been no new available data on Species 37. All sensors monitoring the observation posts at Zhu's Hope have been inactive for several cycles."

At the mention of Zhu's Hope, we all visibly flinch. We all look at each other, and then I'm left shaking my head.

"See?" I say, rubbing my face with my palm. "I knew this wouldn't end well for someone."

"Yes, but Zhu's Hope?" asks Kaidan. "What was ExoGeni hoping to do with the colonists?"

Tali shakes her head at this, crossing her arms. "If it's anything like what Art has been implying lately..." she says.

Oh. Oh dear. I've been a bit obvious about that, eh? Ah, well; I can chalk it up to general genre savvyness. It's not like we haven't seen this before; it just happens more in the Mass Effect universe than anywhere else. Oh well.

Shepard shakes her head. "Only one way to find out." She turns her attention back to the VI. "What does Zhu's Hope have to do with the Thorian?"

The VI doesn't seem to acknowledge us as it continues. "Species 37 is located within the substructure of the Zhu's Hope outpost."

Oh, shit. This doesn't bode well...

"Tell me everything you know about the Thorian," says Shepard.

"The Thorian is a simple plant life form that exhibits a sentient behavior uncommon with other flora," continues the VI. "Through dispersion and the eventual inhalation of spores, it can affect and control other organisms, including humans."

The VI continues to Shepard, but my attention is caught off guard. I look over to Kaidan and Liara, both of who look at Tali and I. We all give each other knowing looks as the VI continues in the background. I lose track of what it says, but I think Kaidan can hear every word. Oh, dear, that's not good.

"ExoGeni knew all along what would happen to those people," says Shepard, a bit of indignation showing in her voice.

"It was deemed necessary to assess the true potential of Species 37," continues the VI.

"Jesus Christ," I say, shaking my head and rubbing my head with my hand.

"Well, looks like your comic books were right," says Kaidan. I give him an indignant glare for the stab at my nerdiness. "This could explain why they were acting a little oddly."

"We should contact Joker," says Liara. "Tell him to be on alert."

Shepard nods and takes a hand up to her earpiece. "Joker," she says. She doesn't get a reply though. "Come in, Joker!"

There is silence for a brief period of time, and then she shakes her head. "Damn it, that field's blocking us," she says.

"We should drop that shield and return to the outpost then," says Tali with a nod.

Shepard agrees with this silently, turning to the VI. "VI, what can you tell me about the geth ship and the field that's surrounding it?"

"I have limited data on the geth," it replies. "They have effectively blocked all sensors in the facility. I have detected unusual power fluctuations, but I am unable to determine the source."

We nod at this, knowing that wherever the energy signature is will be where we find the geth ship.

"Let's get moving," says Shepard.

We draw our weapons out, and then we leave the VI station quickly. We've gotta get a move on, especially if the people back on the ship are going to survive this.

All right. We've just found this console, I guess. Shepard hacked into it pretty quickly to find out some other areas in which there was geth activity. Huh, that'll be useful. Wonder if Shepard will allow her to copy the data to help her complete her Pilgrimage. It looks to be very useful information, and it looks like we could be heading there next if things check out.

For now, though, we have to move! There are geth absolutely everywhere!

We're all ducking behind various pieces of cover and shooting at them. I decided to forget about the shotgun since there were so many, and I had swapped it out for my assault rifle. It's absolutely crawling with different geth soldiers.

Before we know it, though, we see why. I end up looking up from behind my cover to see a claw that is keeping the geth dropship attached to the building. I look at it oddly and then look over to see another console by a bay door that is open. Okay, that console should be the bay door. Okay, we've almost solved the geth problem. It's too bad that afterwards we'll still have the Thorian to deal with...

It's at this moment that Tali comes to come with me to the cover I've taken. The rest of the small squad comes as well, and I look back to the console. Shit, that could be a good idea. And plus, it'll be good training for the Collector base.

I gesture to Shepard as the geth fire a volley of firepower on us. She notices this, and then looks to me. Okay, good, I got her attention. I gesture behind me at the shuttle door, and then to Tali right next to me.

She nods at this, and then looks to Tali.

"Tali!" she says over the sound of gunfire. "There's a console behind us. Hack into it! We'll cover you!"

Tali nods wordlessly and heads on over to the console. Okay, cover Tali then.

I come up and fire my assault rifle at the oncoming geth. Their bullets are flying everywhere, but my shields manage to take a few hits before I have to duck down. I take that time to reload as I see the geth coming closer. Jeez, this thing has to have some kind of limit. I know theoretically the geth have to run out of parts to build themselves with eventually. When that limit will be reached is really the biggest question I have right now.

But I don't have time to ponder that as I come out of cover again. I fire away into the crowd, taking down a geth and noticing that Liara had fired off a singularity in there somewhere. I see a geth suspended, and spend some firepower on that. Okay, this is good, efficient cost-cutting measures in combat. All right.

I duck back down again to switch weapons. The crowd is beginning to noticeably thin out, and now I can spend a little individual time with the geth. I take a look to see Tali still working at the console to close the bay doors, and I nod at this.

I come out to fire at some more geth, and some more fall. I see progressively less geth rushing us. Looking around, I see that Liara's levitated yet another geth off the ground. Loking at that, I notice that Shepard has that one before I look on over to see a few geth coming in. I fire at one of them, taking it down as Kaidan fires a singularity their way.

All right, looks like there's one geth left. Shoot it!

I do just that, and I manage to deliver the first few shots before Shepard manages to... kill it... I guess... with another shot.

And what impeccable timing. Before anything else can be done, we suddenly hear a huge metallic groan as the bay door behind us begins to close. As it closes, we see it go right through the claw attaching the geth dropship to the building. It's... Ow, the metallic sound is hurting my ears! Ow, fuck! I cover my ears when I hear the sound of the claw being sheared, ducking slightly as the sound overtakes all.

And then, somewhere behind the shearing, I hear the sound of the door closing. And then, a loud metallic creaking is heard from there as... something... goes down. I uncover my ears to regard the silence that has taken a hold of everything in the area. I feel maybe a slight bit of reverberation from wherever the dropship lands, but that's really all we get.

I look back at them with a shrug. "Okay," I say with a shrug. "Now we've gotta get back to Joker and let him know-"

"Shepard, come in, damn it!" Oh. Speak of the devil.

The commander is quick to reply. "Joker," she says.

"Oh, thank god you picked up," he says. "I almost though you were dead!"

"Not in a long time, Joker," says Shepard. "What's your status?"

"The colonists have gone crazy," says Joker. "They're trying to break into the Normandy!"

We all look at each other with perturbed expressions on our faces. Yep, that's the moment I've been waiting for. It's a bit more perturbing hearing it from him, though. That can't be a good thing. Shepard seems worried, but she won't show it too much in front of us.

"Make sure the crew defends the ship," she says. "Defend it with all you've got!"

"Aye aye, commander," says Joker. "Ash took that initiative anyway!"

"I think we know why the colonists went crazy," adds Shepard. "Hang in there, and I'll get the problem solved as soon as I can."

"Aye aye, commander," repeates Joker. "Just don't take too long! I don't want to become some kind of crazy zombie type! And be careful! I'm sensing hostiles coming your way!"

I roll my eyes at this. Oh, Joker, making bad jokes even when you're terribly frightened. It's no wonder you're voiced by the creator of Robot Chicken; it begets your character quite a lot since he is supposed to be funny. The whole bad jokes thing works too. After all, they didn't win that Emmy award for writing.
Still, I can't help but spare a small chuckle at this. I look at the others, and they all nod.

"Come on," says Shepard. "We've got a Thorian to see."

And with this, we leave the ExoGeni facility. Next up, Thorian creepers!