CHAPTER TWELVE: the one that got away

Alex flashed Jeremy a smile as he strummed his guitar randomly. He really was an amazing musician, even if he was incredibly cocky and annoying. He winked back and Alex rolled her eyes, yet again. She was on auto pilot, unable and unwilling to face the world around her.

They were in the Bait Shop a couple hours before the show, doing a sound check and running through some of their more difficult songs. The other band, Panic! At The Disco, had arrived that morning and done their sound check first. Jeremy was lucky to even get one. They had barely squeezed it in. Finally, the stage manager shooed them off the stage and Jeremy hopped onto a stool next to Alex.

"What's up baby?" Jeremy asked and Alex grinned. God, he was such a loser. She felt herself being pulled back to earth.

"I am tired as shit." Alex told him and he grinned as well.

"Up all night?" he asked suggestively. Alex looked away and his grin grew.

"Ooh, who's the slut now?" Jeremy asked and Alex laughed at his words, despite the fact that what they were talking about was a really touchy fact. The fact that he could always make her laugh was a mystery to her. Alex felt, more than saw someone behind her and she turned, still smiling, to see who it was. Her smile instantly faded when she saw Marissa standing a few feet away, leaning nervously against the bar.

Alex's faded smile hurt Marissa more than anything else. She used to be the cause of Alex's smiles and now she stopped them? Marissa was tempted to turn and leave, but she didn't. Instead she tore her eyes away from Alex and forced them onto Jeremy.

"Marissa Cooper." She introduced herself, holding out her hand. Jeremy, reading the emotions running between the two girls and siding with Alex, ignored the hand and only nodded.

"You know who I am." Was his form of introduction. Alex, while thankful and touched by Jeremy's loyalty, sent him a look. If Marissa was feeling anything that Alex was, then she was going through enough hell without a hormonal artist too. Jeremy sighed and stuck out his hand.

"Jeremy Rochester." He said, shaking Marissa's hand. She handed him a sheet of paper.

"You need to read this when you get up onstage. It's information on breast cancer awareness." Jeremy nodded his understanding. "Alright then, I'll just go check on Panic and you'll be on in two hours or so." Marissa's face was blank and she turned quickly and left.

Alex watched Marissa go, feeling her heart break all over again. She should be used to it by now, she supposed. This leaving dance she and Marissa always did and the heartbreak that always came with it. Jeremy watched Alex cautiously, then jumped right in.

"So, she was your long night, am I right?" Jeremy smirked.

"She's married." Alex stated, without emotion. Her eyes flicked across the bar, nervous about even saying this out loud. Admitting it to herslef, much less to anyone else.

"So she was your long morning too?" Jeremy asked, and again, Alex couldn't help but smile.

"Yeah, I guess your right." Alex said.

Marissa looked into her purse when her cell went off. She glanced at the caller ID and sighed. Ryan. She didn't really want to talk to him, but she flipped open her phone anyway.

"Hello?" She asked in her most neutral tone.

"Hey sweetie, how was your night babysitting at the Carters?" Marissa recognized his tone of voice almost instantly. It meant that he knew she had been lying.

"I didn't go. I ended up with Alex, talking all night." Right as she said that Alex walked by with Jeremy. Alex gave her an unreadable look, then mouthed something. Marissa frowned.

"What?" She mouthed back. Alex had that nasty spark in her eye and Marissa, on instinct formed by knowledge, muted her end of the phone.

"We didn't do much talking." Alex said, loud enough for Ryan to hear. Marissa could see the other girl's hurt in her eyes. She took the mute off her phone and Alex and Jeremy continued on.

"Oh, that's good." Ryan said finally, and Marissa could tell that he was relieved. "I'm glad you two are getting along. Maybe she can come visit sometime." Ryan suggested. Panic flashed in Marissa's eyes.

"No, I think she has a pretty busy life in LA, but maybe?" Marissa's voice was doubting.

"Alright, well I was just checking on you. I've got a surprise for later. I love you." Ryan said.

"Love you too." Marissa answered, but Ryan had already hung up.

Alex dropped down onto the couch in Jeremy's dressing room and twisted open a bottle of water. She sighed, then popped an aspirin into her mouth and swallowed. Jeremy grinned and tossed her a beer.

"You might need a little buzz if you have to deal with your girlfriend all night." He winked.

"I'm gonna need more than a couple beers for that." Alex said, but took a swig anyway. "And she's not my girlfriend." She glanced up when the door opened. Ryan stood there, a smile on his face.

"Girlfriend?" He asked, amused. Alex thanked god that she hadn't told him about Rachel. Apparently he thought that Alex had met someone. "Can I meet her?" Alex shook her head.

"She's not my girlfriend." Alex said, and saw Marissa come up behind Ryan. "Jeremy is just making stuff up." Alex said, eyes locked with Marissa. Ryan shrugged. "Alright, well I'm going to go up to the third floor if you want to come up later." Alex nodded mutely and Ryan turned, then caught sight of Marissa.

"Hey honey!" He said, grinning at Marissa and hugging her. "Surprise!" Marissa had been to preoccupied to even really register that Ryan was there. She hugged him and he pulled away. She forced a smile. "Well, I'll be up in a bit." He said, eyeing her carefully, then left. Jeremy, Marissa, and Alex were left standing awkwardly in the room. Marissa nodded her head toward Jeremy.

"You told him?" She asked. Alex shook her head, not even looking at Marissa.

"No, he figured it out." Alex explained and downed another too-long sip of beer. Jeremy nodded in agreement.

"Ya'll are a little obvious." He said, flopping onto a couch. Marissa stood for a few more seconds.

"I'm going to go." She said and quickly left the room. Alex could feel tears prick her eyes, but she told herself it was just from the bitter drink in her hand.