Chapter Four: Feeling Helpless
Everything around her was silent; the only sound she heard was the rushing water, violently crashing against the rocks she sat upon. Crashing, like the emotions inside of her. The sun beat down on her, causing sweat to roll down her back, but she barely noticed. She felt helpless, staring at the ocean with a tear in her eye. She was sure nobody had seen her come down here - that was how she had planned it. The last thing she wanted was anybody asking her what was wrong.
Though she doubted anybody would ask what was wrong - it seemed everyone on the island already knew about Violet's disappearance by now. Word spread fast around camp. She had only returned back to the camp with Jack, Sayid and Claire moments ago, and as soon as they turned away from her, Kate dashed off toward isolation, to a secluded place where she wouldn't be asked questions about whether or not they found Violet. Her angry churned inside of her. If we had found her, wouldn't we have brought her back? She thought bitterly, as she tossed a rock into the raging ocean roughly. Even as the bitterness and anger was hot inside her, she still felt tears moistening her eyes.
The four of them had spent hours in the jungle, following a trail that seemed to lead nowhere. The Others had left no footprints, or markings in the dirt, or anything other than Violet's charm bracelet to imply their presence. It's like they just disappeared into thin air. It hadn't been the first time, but this time, it was personal. They had Violet, and God knew what they were doing to her, while Kate sat on this rock, helpless and hopeless.
She fingered the tiny gold bracelet with the strawberry charm, and she felt the tears welling up inside of her. It had only been the night before Violet had voiced her concerns about Walt's strange premonition about the Others, and Kate promising that nothing would happen to Violet. Kate had broken that promise, and she hated herself for it.
Now she's out there somewhere, probably afraid, and I can't even help her. She couldn't help but be reminded of the first time she met Violet.
The sight was a true horror to behold; bodies scattering the beach, while survivors ran around in a frantic and desperate attempt to find loved ones, or possessions. Kate could only walk around in pure, and utter shock. She wasn't even sure what she was feeling in those moments; it might have been numbness, she could hardly remember now.
Everything seemed distant; the screaming, the flames erupting from the plane's engine, the cries. She was so out of it as she walked around slowly, fingering her wrists slightly where the handcuffs had been, that she almost screamed out when she bumped into someone.
"I'm sorry." The man said, out of breath. He looked at her with concerned eyes when she didn't respond. "Are you hurt, ma'am? I'm a doctor, maybe I can help." Kate finally managed to shake her head, as he breathed out and began to scan the island for people who were in need of his help. Apparently, his eye caught something, because he headed in that direction.
"Wait!" Kate's voice had finally caught up with her. The man turned and faced her.
"What's your name?" She asked in a breathy voice. Her throat felt dry.
"It's Jack." He replied, as he ran off without another word. She stared after him for only a moment, as her gaze fell upon her wrists again. Where was the Marshall? Any second now, she thought to herself as she scanned the beach, he'll be right here, cuffing me again. That was when she heard the scream of what sounded like a young girl.
"KATIE!" Something inside of Kate jumped. She didn't know who was yelling, or what was going on, but somebody was hurt or something. She wasn't sure what, but she just knew that something wasn't right.
She headed toward the source of the scream, that continued to yell out for this Katie person. Then, she saw her. A young girl sitting by herself on the sand, dark brown hair tangled and mousy, and she held her hand over her other arm tightly. The girl seemed to be swaying. Kate approached her slowly from behind, not wanting to alarm her. She knelt down behind the girl in the sand, and placed a hand on her shoulder.
"Katie?" The girl asked, as she turned her head to see Kate. She had dark chocolate brown eyes, that were tear streaked and her face was slightly muddy. She was very pale.
"No, but you're close. My name is Kate. What's yours?" Kate noticed her own hand was still shaking. She herself was still pretty shaken up by the series of events that had left them stranded on this island. So why am I suddenly so interested in helping this stranger? She couldn't help but wonder.
"V-Violet." The girl replied, and looked down at her arm. She removed her hand from her arm, and Kate saw the blood gushing from the girl's arm. The girl swayed slightly as she saw the blood.
"You need to get that looked at." Kate said. "It needs to wrapped before it gets infected." The girl was shaking a lot now as she scanned the beach quickly.
"Katie can do it. She's a nurse; she'll know what to do." Violet's voice began shaking, and Kate scanned the beach herself, seeing nobody who seemed to be looking for the girl.
"Who's Katie?" She asked, as she gazed at the cut on Violet's arm again. Something needed to be done about it; she wasn't a doctor, but she was sure that much blood loss wasn't good for her.
"My sister." Violet replied, surprising Kate when the girl tried to stand up. Violet's legs gave way as soon as she tried, and she fell to her knees quickly.
"Woah, okay you need to sit down. Stay here, I'll get Jack." Kate was helping Violet into a more comfortable position. She could barely hear that voice in the back of her head. Why am I doing this?
"Who's Jack?" The girl inquired. She didn't look good, Kate thought. She seemed to be drifting from consciousness. She wasn't surprised, with all that blood gushing from that wound.
"He's a doctor. He's been helping people all over the island." Kate replied, to which Violet responded with a shake of the head.
"I don't need a doctor; I need my sister."
"Well, considering she's not here right now, I'll get Jack. Hang tight." Kate stood up, once she was sure Violet wasn't going to try to get up by herself again, and sprinted toward where she had last seen Jack. As she ran, she couldn't help but wonder to herself why she had felt so drawn to this girl. There were dozens of people screaming around the island; why had she chosen to help a teenage girl?
"Jack, somebody's hurt." Kate said as she found Jack, who was walking around, as thought looking for more people who needed to be helped. "It's a teenage girl - she has a horrible cut on her arm." Jack nodded as he followed Kate across the beach.
"Hey." Jack said suddenly. Kate turned to him. "Do you know her name?"
"Yeah, it's Violet." Kate replied. Jack nodded as the two of them approached the young girl, who was now lying in the sand, eyes closed. Kate's heart leapt into her throat. Had she passed out? Was she okay? Jack was down in the sand in a heartbeat.
"Violet?" He said, and immediately, Violet's eyes popped open. Kate sighed. Thank God. She thought, as she knelt in the sand next to Jack.
"It's okay sweetie, this is Jack." She said, as Jack began to pull something out of his pocket. It was a bottle with yellow liquid inside.
"Wait, what's that?" Violet asked weakly as she tried to sit up.
"It's to make sure that cut won't get infected. It'll hurt a little." Without another word, Jack poured some of the medicine on Violet's cut and Violet let out a wincing screech, squinting her eyes shut. Kate stared at Jack as Violet took deep breaths.
"Where did you find that?" She motioned toward the bottle of medicine. Jack sighed, as he watched Violet's cut begin to foam.
"I found a first aid kit not far from where the plane crashed. I figured we could use it. It's come in handy so far." He explained as he wrapped what looked like a ripped up blanket around Violet's arm. Jack smiled at her faintly.
"Better?" He asked. As Violet nodded, Kate couldn't help but feel grateful to this doctor, who took off without another word. Kate sighed, in spite of herself.
"Are you feeling alright?" She asked Violet.
"I have to find Katie." Violet replied, standing up, as she staggered a little. Kate only stood up and watched as the young girl began walking around in search of her sister. Kate had a bad feeling, and for some reason, she could almost sense that something bad was going to happen. As she stood there and watched Violet, she began to feel a strange sense of responsibility for this teenager. Kate couldn't understand - she only helped her get a cut looked at. She was on her own now.
But when she saw Violet stop dead in her tracks on a small hill not far from where Kate was standing, Kate's stomach sank. Violet stared at the body at her feet and then she lost it.
"Katie!" She screamed, falling to the ground next to the body. Kate's legs carried her faster than she ever thought they could, as she stopped behind Violet, shocked at the sight in front of her. An older woman, close to Kate's own age, who was the spitting image of Violet, lay with eyes staring at the sky, blood rushing from a massive gash across her throat. Her face was as white as a sheet.
"Katie, no, Katie!" Violet was shaking the woman's arm slightly.
"Violet." Kate said, finding her own voice at last. She knelt down in the sand next to the young girl who's tears were inconsolable.
"We have to get Jack. We have to fix her cut like he fixed mine." Violet said as she continued to shake Katie's arm. "Come on Katie, you'll be alright."
Kate shook her head sadly, reaching her arm out. She didn't want to do it, but instinct told her it had to be done. She placed two fingers on Katie's pale neck, which was soaked with blood, and felt for a pulse. She already knew the woman was dead, but Kate knew that Violet would need to know for herself. It hurt to see Violet's wide eyes watching Kate, who shook her head as she removed her fingers.
"I'm sorry Violet." Kate said as she looked down as Violet buried her face in her hands and cried out loudly. At that moment, as Kate listened to the heart-wrenching cries of this 14-year-old girl, she somehow knew that things were going to change.
Something changed alright. Kate still had never been able to understand how she could have felt so instinctively drawn to a 14-year-old girl, and be drawn to take care of her. So many times had Kate been there to help Violet through a rough time, or save her from harm's way. Violet trusted her; she had said that much when the island discovered she was a criminal on the run. What Violet had said to her that night would never leave Kate. "I don't care who you were before the crash. That's not who I know. I know who you are today, and that isn't a criminal." Violet had entrusted Kate with so much, and now the one and only promise Kate had ever made to the young girl had been broken. Kate wanted to scream out in frustration.
"Hey." A voice broke the silence, and Kate turned to see Jack standing behind her, smiling down at her ever so slightly. She turned back to the ocean, feeling embarrassed for showing that much emotion. She heard his shifting in the sand closer, until he lowered himself next to her, sitting on the cool rocks. He didn't speak, and when she stole a glance at him, she saw him considering the ocean nearly as intently as she had been. She lowered her head and stared at her folded hands.
"I'm sorry we stopped." Jack said suddenly, breaking the silence once again. Kate didn't look up - she knew what he meant. He had said they should head back to the beach before it got dark; otherwise it would be too dangerous. She had fought him on it, quite passionately, but he had put his foot down. He wasn't about to put anybody in danger.
"We may have stopped looking today, Kate, but this isn't the end of it." Jack said. "I'm going to look again tomorrow." Kate sighed, shaking her head.
"What good will that do us, Jack. Let's be realistic. When they took Claire, we looked for days, and found no trace of her. She somehow found her way back to us, but she has no memory of her time with them. Jack, we have no way of knowing where these people are keeping her. I don't know how we're going to keep looking when the only clue we've found so far is her bracelet." Kate held that bracelet close as she felt the tears threatening to escape once again. Jack was silent, obviously searching for the right words to say. The only sound breaking the silence was the sound of the waves violently crashing against the rocks, with the cool breeze in the background. Jack stood, sensing Kate's need to be alone, but as he was leaving, he turned back to her.
"We can't give up Kate." He said simply, as she turned to look up at him. His eyes had determination written all over them. Kate had always known Jack to be a determined man. She waited, as he continued to speak.
"As much as it feels hopeless, and as much as we want to give up, we can't. Violet is out there somewhere, and she's probably scared." He paused, as he rubbed his eyes tiresomely. "She's depending on us, Kate. That's why we have to find her."
With those as his final words, he walked away from Kate, who could no longer control herself. She buried her face in her knees and cried.