That can't be happening. Why is he here? He might missed me? No! Rose Hathaway get a grip of yourself. He left you for Tasha! Remember?
I could hear him catching up with me but I went straight to the stage. I knew now what my next song would be. I tied to calm down but I couldn't. I tried to think of something else but really all I could think about was how gorgeous he looked. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. When I opened them my eyes landed in his brown ones. God how much I missed those eyes. The song was White Flag by Dido.
I know you think that I shouldn't still love you,
Or tell you that.
But if I didn't say it, well I'd still have felt it
where's the sense in that?(I eyed Dimitri when I said that)
I promise I'm not trying to make your life harder
Or return to where we were
I will go down with this ship
And I won't put my hands up and surrender
There will be no white flag above my door
I'm in love and always will be
I know I left too much mess and
destruction to come back again
And I caused nothing but trouble
I understand if you can't talk to me again
And if you live by the rules of "it's over"
then I'm sure that that makes sense
I will go down with this ship
And I won't put my hands up and surrender
There will be no white flag above my door
I'm in love and always will be
And when we meet
Which I'm sure we will
All that was there
Will be there still
I'll let it pass
And hold my tongue
And you will think
That I've moved on....
I will go down with this ship
And I won't put my hands up and surrender
There will be no white flag above my door
I'm in love and always will be
I felt a tear running down my cheek and I quickly removed it. I felt Lissa's confusion.
Rose what happened? Five minutes ago you were singing GaGa and now Dido? Wtf?
I shook my head to her.
"I just felt like it." I gave her what I thought it was a convincing smile and just then I heard Alberta's name being called on stage.
That's something you don't get to see everyday.
She picked Summertime by Janis Joplin.
Summertime, time, time,
Child, the living's easy.
Fish are jumping out
And the cotton, Lord,
Cotton's high, Lord, so high.
Your daddy's rich
And your ma is so good-looking, baby.
She's looking good now,
Hush, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby,
No, no, no, no, don't you cry.
Don't you cry!
One of these mornings
You're gonna rise, rise up singing,
You're gonna spread your wings,
Child, and take, take to the sky,
Lord, the sky.
But until that morning
Honey, n-n-nothing's going to harm you now,
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
Don't you cry,
Cry.
That song helped me calm a little though my thoughts were still on Dimitri. Just then Tasha came and greeted us.
"Hey Tasha sorry that I ran off before but I was late and I had to be on stage" I gave her a small smile and she nodded.
"No problem" she said and gave me a hug. It was really hard for me to hate her for taking Dimitri away when she was treating me like that.
"Rose are you ok?" Adrian asked me and through an arm over my shoulder. Now if we were anywhere else or I haven't see Dimitri with Tasha here I would have pushed him away but for now I let it be.
"I'm fine. Really" I gave him a small smile but I knew he could tell what was wrong by my aura.
He shook his head at me "do you want to leave?" he asked me.
Do I want to leave? That's a really good question. Finally I shook my head no at him and I signed.
"I will be fine" and then a though crossed my mind "I have a few more songs" he kissed my forehead and nodded.
I knew he was behind me before he speaks. The smell of his aftershave filled my nostrils and I inhaled deep like it was my daily fix.
"Roza" he said and I turned to look at him "you've been avoiding me" he seemed hurt and I couldn't see him this way even if he left me to guard Tasha.
They come first. I told myself and signed.
"I'm not" I told him avoiding his eyes.
His hand removed a stray lock from my forehead and he caressed my cheek. I shivered to his touch. It's been so long since he touched me. This closeness reminded me of the lust spell.
"Don't" I murmured finally getting grip of myself and took a step back. He signed but he dropped his hand.
"Roza please let me speak" he begged me. I couldn't let him speak. I knew what he was going to say. I didn't want to hear it. I went back to the stage since they had finished calling names for the night and took the microphone. Don't Speak by No Doubt.
You and me
We used to be together
Everyday together always
I really feel
That I'm losing my best friend
I can't believe
This could be the end
It looks as though you're letting go
And if it's real
Well I don't want to know
Don't speak
I know just what you're saying
So please stop explaining
Don't tell me cause it hurts
Don't speak
I know what you're thinking
I don't need your reasons
Don't tell me cause it hurts
Our memories
Well, they can be inviting
But some are altogether
Mighty frightening
As we die, both you and I
With my head in my hands
I sit and cry
Don't speak
I know just what you're saying
So please stop explaining
Don't tell me cause it hurts (no, no, no)
Don't speak
I know what you're thinking
I don't need your reasons
Don't tell me cause it hurts
It's all ending
I gotta stop pretending who we are...
You and me I can see us dying...are we?
Don't speak
I know just what you're saying
So please stop explaining
Don't tell me cause it hurts (no, no, no)
Don't speak
I know what you're thinking
I don't need your reasons
Don't tell me cause it hurts
Don't tell me cause it hurts!
I know what you're saying
So please stop explaining
Don't speak,
don't speak,
don't speak,
oh I know what you're thinking
And I don't need your reasons
I know you're good,
I know you're good,
I know you're real good
Oh, la la la la la la La la la la la la
Don't, Don't, uh-huh Hush, hush darlin'
Hush, hush darlin' Hush, hush
don't tell me tell me cause it hurts
Hush, hush darlin' Hush, hush darlin'
Hush, hush don't tell me tell me cause it hurts
I made my way back to our table. Lissa came and sat next to me.
"Care to explain what caused this?" she whispered to my ear and I could feel through the bond that she was confused and concerned about me.
"Liss it's nothing really" she didn't believed me "care to join me for a song?" I asked her to make her feel better.
"Cool but no more heartbreaking songs ok?" I nodded and we took the mics.
"What are we singing?" she asked excited.
I winked at her and let the music play. Cyndi Lauper - Girls Just Wanna Have Fun. Lissa was ecstatic to say at least.
(Me)I come home in the morning light,
My mother says "When you gonna live your life right?"
Oh,mother,dear,
We're not the fortunate ones,
And girls,They wanna have fu-un.
Oh,girls,Just wanna have fun.
(Lissa)The phone rings in the middle of the night,
My father yells "What you gonna do with your life?"
Oh,daddy,dear,
You know you're still number one,
But girls,They wanna have fu-un,
Oh,girls,just wanna have
That's all they really want.....Some fun....
(Both while laughing)When the working day is done,
Oh,girls,They wanna have fu-un,
Oh,girls,Just wanna have fun....
Girls,They want,
Wanna have fun.
Girls,Wanna have
Some boys take a beautiful girl,
And hide her away from the rest of the world.
I wanna be the one to walk in the sun.
Oh,girls,They wanna have fu-un.
Oh,girls,Just wanna have
That's all they really want.....
Some fun....
When the working day is done,
Oh,girls,They wanna have fu-un.
Oh,girls,Just wanna have fun...
Girls,They want,
Wanna have fun.
Girls,Wanna have.
They just wanna,
They just wanna.....
They just wanna,
(Oh....)They just wanna.....
(Girls just wanna have fun...)
Oh...
As the song ended we were laughing our heads out. It took my mind of Dimitri for a little and Lissa calmed down.
"Wow Rose you have some voice here!" Tasha told me when we reached the table. "I have to admit though that the previous two were way better. No offense Liss." She smiled at Lissa.
"None taken Tasha." she told her "I told ya you were great up there" Lissa hugged me again and I smiled at Tasha.
"Rose we need to talk" Dimitri said putting one hand in my shoulder.
I closed my eyes and took a deep breath but I nodded. We headed out of the gym towards the woods. He walked before me and then suddenly stopped but he didn't turn to face me. I closed my eyes and leaned to a nearby tree. I really didn't want to hear him saying goodbye to me again. Nor did I want him to tell me he didn't want me and that we couldn't be together. I signed and opened my eyes only to see him inches away from my face.
"Roza I can't do this anymore" he said cupping my face with his hand.
I tried to tell him that it was ok and that I wouldn't puss him but then he crushed his lips in mine. It took me a second to respond but then I deepened the kiss. I could feel the need and the lust in that kiss. God how I missed him.
He pulled back but he was still inches away from my face. I could feel his breath hot on my skin. Our foreheads touching and our eyes locked together saying what we couldn't.
"Dimitri" I started but he cut me with another kiss.
This time it was heavier and deeper. He tongue traced my bottom lip asking for permeation to enter. I parted my lips for him and I got lost in his kiss. His one hand was in my low back and the other one in my nape. I slipped my hands to his neck and pulled him closer if possible. I could hardly breathe but I didn't want to break the kiss. He seemed to notice because he left my lips and headed to my neck and then collarbone. My breath picked up and I stopped breathing.
"Roza breathe" he whispered in my neck and I could feel his lips forming a smile.
I knew that I would regret it later but I couldn't stop thinking about it so I asked.
"Dimitri?"
"mmmm?" he continue planting kisses to my shoulder, collarbone and neck.
"why you came back?" he stopped and looked into my eyes.
****