Prompt: Watching the new trailer for the movie.
A/N: I have to say, even though I object strongly to the Irene Adler/RDJ constantly shirtless/action thriller theme, I love love love Jude Law's Watson. I fully intend to see the movie just for that.
Anyway, I am quite bothered by lots of things in the movies (as stated above) but there is one, very petty, point that for some reason I can't let go of...
Holmes opened the door to the sitting room with a scowl. "Whatever it is, Lestrade, it had better be--good heavens, man, what on earth happened to you?"
Lestrade blushed behind his beard and glared up at Holmes defiantly. "Nothing happened to me, Mr. Holmes. Anyhow, I can see that you're deeply immersed in an extremely difficult case of your own, which is apparently getting nowhere, so I shall have to come back later."
Holmes snorted. "Your conclusion is quite in character, Lestrade." He opened the door and allowed the inspector inside. "I have not had a case in days, and certainly nothing so difficult that it was "getting nowhere." What exactly made you think it?"
"Your face, man," Lestrade exclaimed. "The only times your face is not immaculately clean-shaven is when you're stumped, which has happened a few more times than you would care to admit, I think. But I've never seen a growth like that on you before. I assumed it must be an impossible problem. Unless it's a disguise?"
"Nothing so romantic, Lestrade, but never you mind. However, you are hardly in a position to comment on the facial hair of others now, are you?"
Lestrade stroked the beard which had successfully invaded his countenance. "Well, I don't see why not," he said a trifle defensively. "I don't recall it saying anywhere that I am always clean shaven."
"Yes, but the simple fact of the matter is that you are always clean shaven, Lestrade. Certainly I have seen you working all hours with stubble upon your chin, but the likes of this I have never before encountered."
"My hair grows unreasonably fast," sighed the inspector. "And to tell you the truth, Mr. Holmes, I... well, the only reason I have this blasted beard is that I cannot for the life of me find my razor."
Holmes leaned forward with sudden interest. "Explain."
Lestrade was slightly unnerved by the sudden intensity of his gaze, but he did not show it. "Well, about two weeks ago I misplaced my first razor, it seems," he explained. "I purchased a new one the next day, but before I'd a chance to use it, the blasted thing disappeared! I'm not a tidy man, Mr. Holmes, but I can usually keep track of my things. And the next two razors I purchased have both disappeared as well... but I can't imagine that anyone would be stealing them!"
"I can," said Holmes darkly. "I had not thought it possible until now, but someone, it seems, has been making off with them."
"What do you mean, Mr. Holmes?"
"I mean, Lestrade, that this is not the only documented incident."
A light of understanding dawned in Lestrade's eyes. "Mr. Holmes, do you mean to say that the reason for your facial hair is that..."
"Yes, Lestrade," Holmes growled, glaring at his reflection in the window. "My razors have gone missing as well."
"Well then," Lestrade snapped, suddenly businesslike. "There must be a pattern here somewhere. As far as we know, we are the only two who have suffered this intrusion?"
"Thus far, that does seem to be the case."
"Then there must be a common tie somewhere. Someone we both have contact with regularly, and who is apparently very well groomed--"
"Good morning, gentlemen," called a voice from the staircase. Both men sat up straight and, the light of understanding dawning in their eyes, turned to face Watson and his immaculately trimmed moustache.
A/N: It says, in the text, that Holmes is clean shaven! He just is! I mean, it also says that he didn't often end up in bedrooms with scantily clad women, or that he wasn't constantly fighting people with his shirt off, etc, but those I'd given up on avoiding long ago. I don't believe it ever says that Lestrade is clean shaven, but I've never seen him otherwise. Also, it describes him as looking slightly like a rat, and although rats are furry, it sort of detracts from the image a bit, I think. Anyway, that was silly. I'm done now.