Everything was moving in slow motion. The animals swimming beneath the pathway, the wind blowing at the leaves. Even the rain seemed to fall in a sluggish track as if the raindrops purposely tried to drag out every single second, purely to torment Neteyam.
He had barely been able to sit still as he had listened to the warriors discuss tactics by the bonfire. He and Lo'ak had followed his dad and the Olo'eyktan immediately after the large group of Na'vi had dispersed, and to Neteyam's relief, they had headed straight to the bonfire to talk strategy.
He had been asked to recount the story, which he had done dutifully, glad that there was something for him to do. His dad – who obviously was the most experienced at fighting against the sky people – had been very vocal about what he meant was the right thing to do. Neteyam, not needed anymore after having described what had happened in excruciating detail, had stayed, desperately listening to their plans of attack.
There had been a lot of yelling and threatening, especially from some of the younger Metkayina warriors who seemed to have many strong opinions on how the war party should be led, but Jake kept insisting that the sky people had different means of fighting, that the Metkayina way wouldn't last long against the kinds of weapons that the humans possessed. It was a tiring discussion, one that Neteyam bitterly thought wasn't going anywhere, and barely got them any closer to an actual plan at saving her.
A concerned looking Na'vi had appeared by Tonowari's side, leaning in to whisper something into the Olo'eyktan's ear and Tonowari's face had hardened. Bellowing for the war party to be quiet, he had taken his mate's hand and made a beeline for Jake, asking him to come with them. Neytiri had joined them as well, and Neteyam and Lo'ak had stood, watching them walk away, both feeling lost and incredibly helpless.
There wasn't much to do other than wait for his dad to return and Neteyam was going out of his mind with worry as he sat by the edge of the pathway, legs dangling, feet almost touching the water's surface. The ocean was opaque and dark due to the constant rain obstructing the surface, and Neteyam bitterly compared the ocean's turmoil to the one in his own heart. He was sure that he must be freezing, the icy water droplets hitting his body like bullets sliding down his body and soaking his hair, but he could barely feel it as he stared in front of him, not really seeing anything, enveloped in a thick numbness that choked him, painfully trapping him in his mind.
Her eyes flashed across his vision yet again. In truth they had never left, replaying over and over again, every emotion he had ever witnessed in them, from happiness to anger, from love to sadness, and then freezing on dread; the last thing he had witnessed in her eyes. But not fear for herself. Fear for Neteyam and for his family as she pleaded for him to let go and save them. Had it been anyone else, he'd done it in a heartbeat. His family came first, always. But she was the one person that he couldn't – that he wouldn't - choose his family over. The one person that could get him to do anything she wished for, had asked the one thing of him he would not grant her, purely out of selfish reasons. And he loathed himself for it.
He constantly toyed with the idea of getting up and leaving, to rescue her on his own so that he wouldn't have to wait until sunrise tomorrow. Though Neteyam would gladly die for her if it meant that she would be safe, Neteyam also knew that Lo'ak was right; she would never forgive him nor herself if anything was to happen to him. This thought was the only thing that held him back from calling upon an ilu and setting off to find her.
Her not being able to forgive him he could live with; it would mean a life of misery, but he would find a way to deal. Her not being able to forgive herself was a different matter.
The weight in the woven pathway shifted beside him and Neteyam was pulled out of his daze, blinking furiously as he switched to stare out at the horizon. Neteyam didn't even have to glance to the side to know who had placed themselves beside him; it was Lo'ak, having emerged from the Marui.
Neteyam's ears pricked as they picked up Tuk's soft sobs over the pouring rain, coming from inside their pod, accompanied by Kiri's soothing voice, who was trying to comfort the small girl. Tuk had been crying since she had been told the news and Kiri had been struggling to calm her down ever since.
After the warriors had been dismissed, Neteyam and Lo'ak had headed back to the pod, Lo'ak going straight to Tuk, to help Kiri's attempt at soothing her. Neteyam hadn't been able to find the power in himself to go inside. He knew that it should have been him inside the Marui, comforting his sisters, but he couldn't get himself to function as he normally would, he couldn't possibly comfort them when he felt so despondent himself.
"She's tough," Lo'ak said, ripping Neteyam out of his thoughts, "Right now she is probably raging at the guards to let her go, or maybe she's teasing Ao'nung for being so freaked out." Neteyam knew that Lo'ak was trying to lessen his worry, but it also sounded as if Lo'ak was speaking in an attempt at convincing himself that she was alright.
"Yeah. Maybe." There wasn't much emotion behind Neteyam's voice. The boys sat side by side, the rain soaking them to the bone, waiting for their parents to return in silence, both minds churning with unfathomable fear for their girl.
It was growing dark when Jake and Neytiri returned, and the Na'vi once again gathered under the woven roof of the main area to hear what had happened. Neteyam noticed his father holding a large, red tracker in his hand, his eyes pained. It was a solemn gathering as the Olo'eyktan told them that they had found Ronal's spirit sister dead along with its calf. Ronal's eyes flashed with anger as she clutched her large belly, as if the sky people would come at any moment and take the little she had left to love from her.
The Na'vi grew agitated, hissing that they should attack now, that they had no time to lose. Jake kept trying to call them down, yelling that it would be a suicide mission if they left now. No one seemed to hear him, everyone was blinded by the rage that they felt for the sky people. Rotxo and Tsireya stood as the only two from the Metkayina clan, completely frozen. Jake interrupted, shouldering his way into the middle of the crowd.
"I know you are angry. I know you want revenge, and trust me, there is nothing I'd rather do than leave now and attack." Jake stopped and looked around, sincerity and desperation shining through his eyes. Something crossed Neteyam's mind, something he hadn't even considered before, so swept up in his own despair. His dad was also so obviously affected by the thought of losing her. He had basically raised her from birth, Neteyam reminded himself, something he often forgot since he had never viewed her as a sister, like he did Kiri. Jake was just as worried for her as Neteyam was, he was just better at hiding it so that he could be strong for everyone else.
Jake continued, "But we have to wait. Tomorrow when they least expect it, we will strike them. This is the only way we will stand a chance."
"We cannot just let them kill more Tulkun," someone yelled from the back, "What if we wait until tomorrow and they have killed more?"
The silence that had befallen the group as Jake had spoken broke. Shouts of agreement and battle cries filled the air once again. Jake groaned frustrated, then raised hand, showing off the tracker to the surrounding Na'vi.
"You tell the tulkun - that if they are hit by one of these, they're marked for death." He looked around at them, letting the words sink in before he continued, "Call for me, I'll silence it." The Metkayina looked at the metal tracker with hateful eyes, and his dad went on, almost in a pleading tone, "Saving their lives, that's all that matters right? Saving your family."
Neteyam heard murmuring in the crowd and his gaze quickly found Lo'ak. He looked troubled as he looked at his dad, as if he was settling a debate within himself. Neteyam had a sneaking suspicion as to what it could be about, but he ignored it for now, focusing on the Olo'eyktan, waiting for his decision.
At last, the Tonowari nodded, "Notify them." He nodded to two Metkayina who immediately left. "Warriors," he paused, looking out over his people with a braced look, "with me." Then the Olo'eyktan turned, his warriors responding immediately, following their leader into the water. To his surprise, his mother went after them as well, after having shared a meaningful look with Jake. He supposed it made sense; she was a warrior too.
Neteyam approached his dad, "Where are they going?"
"Where do you think, son?" Jake sighed, "To the Spirit Tree."
Of course, Neteyam thought, feeling stupid. It was tradition that Na'vi go and connect with the Spirit Tree before a large battle, in case they didn't make it back.
"Well, what are we standing here for then?" Neteyam made to follow but his dad grabbed his arm, stopping him in his tracks.
"Yeah, about that," Jake's eyes flashed with caution, "Your mother and I've discussed it, and you're to stay here, with your siblings tomorrow."
Everything seemed to stop around him, the rain, the wind, the waves breaking at the shore. His heart. "What?"
"It's too dangerous, Neteyam. I won't risk it."
A heavy, familiar pressure began building up in the back of his mind. A strong sense of anger and annoyance; one he felt often whenever his dad belittled him by dismissing the fact that Neteyam was a warrior. One he had learned to push away and ignore because the fight wasn't worth it, one she could make go away, just by him being in her presence. But she wasn't there, because of him, and now his dad was taking away his chance at making it right.
"I am a warrior like you, I'm supposed to fight." Neteyam managed to say through clenched teeth.
Jake looked down at his son, his gaze unwavering, although Neteyam managed to catch a slight apologetic tone in his voice as he spoke, "My decision is final."
Neteyam wasn't one to start fights. That had always been her and Lo'ak's thing. Neteyam was usually the one who had to stop them and talk them out of the mess they had gotten themselves into. Something he would never admit to enjoy but did anyway because it meant that they needed him. Neteyam prided himself on his level-headedness and his composure. He had learned from a young age when a fight was necessary, when he shouldn't back down. It was something that she and Lo'ak had been unable to see due to their hot-headedness, they always threw themselves into everything head on, only caring about the repercussions afterwards. It wasn't something Neteyam blamed them for; they were passionate and fervent beings, something that Neteyam loved them for, and wouldn't want them without. But it also meant that Neteyam had had to break up a fair amount of fights and had learned when a battle was justified and necessary, from witnessing theirs. Fighting for her was necessary, but fighting for his dad's approval right now, was not.
"Yes sir." Neteyam responded and turned on his heel, heading straight for Lo'ak, who had been watching their exchange from a distance. Grabbing Lo'ak's arm, he began dragging him towards their pod, out of their dad's earshot.
"I know what you are thinking," Neteyam lowered his voice as he spoke to his brother. They stopped just outside of their pod, whispering in low voices so that Kiri and Tuk wouldn't hear them.
Lo'ak's eyebrows furrowed in uncertainty, "What do you mean?"
"I saw the way you looked when the guards were told to warn the Tulkun. You want to warn Payakan."
Lo'ak stepped back, readying to defend himself, "I have to. He is outcast." He hissed, "There is no one to warn him but me."
Neteyam grabbed his brother's shoulder, "Listen to me," Neteyam's voice was low and to the point, surprising himself at how calm he managed to seem, "You do have to warn Payakan. But I am coming with you. And then we find Tc-" he couldn't say her name, "Then we find the sky people, and we save her."
He could almost hear her voice screaming at him to not drag Lo'ak into it, that he should urge his family to leave and forget about her. It was what she wanted, the last thing she had asked of him. He shoved the voice down, drowning it out. He would gladly have her hate him for the rest of eternity if it meant that she was alive.
Lo'ak's eyes widened, surprised at hearing his brother plotting to go directly against their father's order. Neteyam resisted the urge to scoff; it wasn't as if this was the first time he had disobeyed their dad.
Lo'ak quickly recovered, nodding his head as he steeled his gaze in determination, a small smirk pulling up the right corner of his mouth, "When do we leave?"