Grand Theft Auto Vice City

The Life and Times of Mike The Goon

Chapter 5

Jury Fury

Mike was awakened by a loud ringing. He sat up in his bed and looked out the window. The sun had only just risen. He looked around to find the cause of the ringing, and realized it was his phone.

"Jesus." Said Mike, "Who's calling me this early?" He picked up the phone and put it to his ear. "Hello?"

"Aieeee!" The voice on the other end screamed in a high pitch voice, "Mike! Oh Mike! It's Eugene!"

"Eugene," Mike said as he stood up, "calm down. What's the matter?"

"It's Leo!" Said Eugene, "He's dead!"

"What?!" Questioned Mike, "Leo's dead? Who killed him?!"

"I don't know! I don't know!" Replied Eugene, "You need to get down to my restaurant NOW!" Eugene slammed the phone down and Mike was left with silence. He got out of bed and quickly got dressed. He ran out to his red Sentinel and hit the gas. He sped south towards Ocean Beach. When he hit the strip the only people walking around were homeless people. He hit the brakes on his car and squealed to a stop in front of Eugene's. Mike quickly ran into the restaurant. He spotted Eugene standing by a fish tank, checking his nails. He looked surprisingly calm.

"Eugene!" Said Mike as he walked up to him, "What's going on? Leo's dead?"

"Huh?" Said Eugene looking up at Mike, "Oh yes, Leo. Someone beat him to death. Right in the back alley. Leo always spent so much time in that alley. I'm not surprised that it should be the place he where he dies."

"What about the guy who did it?" Asked Mike.

"Him?" Eugene replied, "He was some guy in a Hawaiian shirt. I don't understand how someone can where a shirt like that. I mean talk about bad taste. Does he want to look like a tourist?"

"I mean what happened to him?" Said Mike, "Where'd he go?"

"Well," began Eugene, "from what I was told, he came, beat Leo to death, stole his phone, and then ran off with some other man. Some of the kitchen staff tried chasing them down, but they got in a white Infernus and sped off."

"Why would they do this to Leo?" Questioned Mike.

"Well whatever it was," said Eugene, "I'm sure Leo deserved it. He had it coming to him with the violent lifestyle he lived...."

"Don't worry, Eugene." Said Mike, "I'll track these guys down. Leo will be avenged!"

"No, don't bother." Said Eugene, "I hated Leo. It's a relief to be free from him!"

"Wait," said Mike, "then why did you call me down here?"

"Because," Eugene replied, "Leo was cheating on me!"

"With someone other than Moweesha?" Said Mike, "But why do you care if you hated him?"

"It's not how I felt about Leo," replied Eugene, "it's how Leo felt about me. Can you imagine the nerve of that man?! Not only did he cheat on me with one whore, he cheated on me with TWO! I need retribution for this insult!"

"Alright, alright." Siad Mike, "Who else was Leo sleeping with?"

"Giorgio Forelli." Eugene replied as he went back to checking his nails.

"Giorgio Forelli?!" Exclaimed Mike, "Do you know who he is?! Do you know who his cousin is?! If I kill Giorgio, the bloody Liberty City mob is gonna come down here and rip me a new asshole! Hell, they'll rip me two!"

"Hey," replied Eugene, "I didn't say anything about killing him! I just said that I needed retribution."

"Explain." Said Mike.

"Well," said Eugene, "that scumbag Giorgio has been defrauding the government. I saw him the other night in my restaurant, all bandaged up. He said he was in a helicopter accident, and that the government was sending him disability cheques. I knew that bastard was lying about being injured. All I needed was confirmation. So I followed him back to his mansion on Starfish Island. Sure enough, about fifteen minutes after he limped his way into his house, he came walking out perfectly fine, and in full drag."

"Oh God," said Mike, "no more transvestites!"

"Just one more!" Said Eugene, "Just do this for me, and I can help you be successful in this town."

"Help me how?" Questioned Mike.

"Well," said Eugene, "remember when you said that if you killed Giorgio, the mob would come down to Vice City? Well maybe they're already here...."

"What do you mean?" Asked Mike.

"Expose Giorgio, and I'll explain everything." Replied Eugene. Eugene grabbed a camera off of a nearby table and handed it to Mike. "Giorgio should be hanging out behind the Malibu Club. Go take some photos of him, then drop the camera off at the Washington Beach police station. When they see that Giorgio isn't really injured, they'll put him away for five years!" Mike nodded and walked out the front door with the camera in his hand.

"Time to shoot another cross-dresser." Said Mike, "With a camera this time." Mike got into his car and headed towards the Malibu Club. It was still early, and the homeless had only partially dispersed. Mike drove past the police station, and continued north. He could see the neon glow of the Malibu in the distance. As he drove by the club, he could hear the pop music coming from inside. People had been partying in the Malibu all night. Mike pulled over across from the club and looked around. He noticed two bouncers dragging a young man out of the club and dropping him on the sidewalk.

"Oi!" Said the man in a Cockney accent, clearly drunk, "I swear, that bird sat on me hand! Honest! I didn't pinch her arse on purpose! Do you ponces know who I am? You bloody wankers!" Mike watched as the Cockney youth stumbled down the street. He stopped as he noticed something behind the club. "Hello gorgeous." The Cockney youth said, "Where have you been all my life?" Mike watched as the Cockney youth stumbled behind the club. Mike climbed out of his car and grabbed the camera. He walked down the street until he had a clear view behind the club. Standing behind the club was the Cockney youth talking with what appeared to be a woman. Mike looked through the camera and zoomed in on the woman. He now saw that the woman was definitely not a woman. He recognized it as Giorgio Forelli in drag. Mike snapped a photo.

"Gotcha." Mike said to himself. He snapped three more photos of Giorgio dressed as a woman, uninjured, and talking to the Cockney youth. Giorgio never even noticed Mike taking the photos. Mike walked back to his car, and drove to the police station. He left the camera on the steps, and headed home. The sun was high in the sky and the homeless had almost completely disappeared from the streets. As Mike drove, his car phone began to ring. He answered it.

"It's Diaz." Said the voice on the phone, "Apparently, that dick-head Gonzales has some new info for me. Go pick him up at his penthouse."

"I'll do it," said Mike, "but only if Gonzales isn't wearing a dress."