Depression

By: Sailorjj07

12. Reboot

A/n: I've updated! It feels like it's been forever since I did too. Anyway, thank you all for the reviews!

Disclaimer: I do not own!

chaos POV

"She hasn't woken up yet? Albedo did some work on her..." Jr. said, standing beside me. Kos-mos hadn't woken up since her systems shut down. She got the two remaining coordinates for us, but damaged herself in the process. I hadn't moved from her side since we moved her.

"Shion said she should be back up by the time we get there." I told him, watching her face. I missed seeing her beautiful blue eyes...And her voice...I was missing her already and she was lying in front of me.

"Well MOMO said that she might get up on her own before then. MOMO thinks she'll wake up because she knows you miss her." I glanced at Jr. then turned back to Kos-mos. He smirked at me and then placed a hand on my shoulder, "She's going to be okay."

"I know."

"Do you know where the old man is?"

"I think he's with Sazuka."

"Figures."

"They have been spending a lot of time together."

"Yeah, I know. Well I'm off. I'll find something to do." Jr. strolled out of the room, spinning a gun on his finger.

I looked down at my fallen angel. Her face was so peaceful, so very serene and it killed me. I had gotten use to seeing her smile, I had gotten use to seeing her laugh, and that was my downfall. My beautiful Kos-mos wasn't even awake anymore. She was almost dead. And it hurt...I touched her cheek, noticing that it was slightly cold. I ran my finger down her jaw line and then back up her cheek. I touched her eyelids, wishing they would open at my touch. But I knew that wouldn't happen. They'd open when she wished for them to and I just had to wait.

I think I'm starting to hate waiting.

I think I'm starting to hate waiting a lot.

I think I'm starting to REALLY hate waiting….

"Are you going to sit with her until she wakes up?" MOMO skipped into the room, smiling widely at me. I nodded and went back to watching Kos-mos.

"That's so cute. You love her, chaos?" MOMO asked, curiously. She went to Kos-mos right side and held her hand. She began to count, obviously checking her vitals.

"Very much, MOMO."

"Do you think someone could love me like that one day?" MOMO wasn't looking at me anymore and a thoughtful look crossed her face.

"I think so."

"Really?"

"Yep."

"That'd be so wonderful!" MOMO said, lowering her voice to an excited whisper. I nodded smiling softly at her. She let go of Kos-mos hand and skipped towards the door. "I have to go help Shion cook lunch. You should come up."

"Maybe."

"Bye chaos."

I nodded and then went back to watching Kos-mos. She still wasn't moving. I don't why I sat there and waited, acting like she would awaken in just a single day. Albedo did serious damage to her systems. I remember watching as Shion had to do an emergency operation on her and repair her circuitry...

Begin Flashback

I watched in horror as Kos-mos fell to the ground, her face going completely blank.

"Kos-mos! MOMO, hurry we have to help her!" Shion cried, falling to her knees beside Kos-mos. She pressed a button hidden inside her soft bellybutton and I watched as the panel on her body opened. Her stomach seemingly cut and removed itself and all of her artificial internal organs and the circuitry around them were revealed to me. Shion pressed another button, somewhere on her collarbone and I closed my eyes as her clothing removed itself and another section of her body was moved to the side. I only peaked at her midsection, when I heard Shion give a cry at being shocked by a stray wire.

"Shion, this doesn't look good. I have some replacement wire though, I'll go get it." MOMO said, standing up.

I shook my head, "I'll get it." MOMO nodded and told me where it was in her room and I rushed out of the room, trying to keep myself from being angry. My angel was hurt trying to help us. She was hurt and I knew who had done it. Everyone thinks I'm not the type to get angry, but they don't know how terrible my anger can be. And at that moment my anger was great. I was having a very hard time to control the power inside me when I had reached MOMO's room. I got the large container of extra wire and ran back to the bridge, where everyone was gathered around Shion and MOMO, watching as they tried to replace the damaged wire. I sat the container beside MOMO, nodding when she muttered a thank you and then glanced at the crew. I had a feeling they weren't as interested in Kos-mos wiring, but the bare body that was lying on the ground. I stepped in front of their line of vision, an annoyed look on my face.

"I don't think the girls can concentrate with all of you surrounding them like that." I glanced at the group that had been watching and waited for them to move. They nodded and I saw a smug smile appear on Jr.'s face.

"Someone's a little upset, I think."

I lifted an eyebrow at him, then turned and looked down at my angel, who wasn't moving at all anymore. Her bright blue hair was sprawled out, all around her, making her look even more like the fallen angel that she appeared to be. Shion began to press the buttons and her body began to piece itself back together, her clothes coming back around her. I picked her up gently and waited for Shion to tell me where to take her.

"Isn't she heavy?" Shion asked, walking ahead of me so I could follow her.

"Are human women heavy?"

"Not really." Shion said, thoughtfully.

"Then neither is she." I answered, wishing she would wake up and tell me she was alright. I glanced at her still face while Shion led me to her room, then placed her down in her bed and watched her face longer.

"Allen will be in here in a few minutes to do a systems check. Her replacement wiring should be fine until she wakes up and can repair it herself. I'm going to go get some things out of my room, you mind watching her for me until I get back?"

I nodded and my waiting had begun.

End Flashback

"I hope you wake up soon, Kos-mos…" I whispered to her and to myself. It somehow helped me feel a little better when I heard myself tell her to wake up. I guess it made me feel as if she would hear me and wake up instantly.

I knew that wasn't going to happen…

But I can hope, can't I?

I think I'm allowed that much….

I sighed and leaned my head down on her bed, next to her cold, unmoving arm. I was so used to feeling warmth there….I almost jumped when I felt nothing, but cold. I glanced at the pale arm beside me and then stared back down at her bed sheets. They were a very light blue, a very pretty blue that I had never noticed before.

It's weird….Whenever something bad happens you begin to notice the smallest things to be happy about, you find the smallest specks to point out…Maybe it's supposed to help take your mind off of what's going on or maybe in your desperation to find something to make you slightly happier, you notice that tiny little thing and suddenly you have a reason to smile again.

It must be a form of human nature…..

But then, I shouldn't even be doing this, should I?

"chaos, you need to eat." Shion came in through the doors with a tray in her hands. The smell of hot food filled the room and as much as I didn't want to admit it, I was hungry. Very hungry actually. I nodded and accepted her food thankfully, but ate very slowly.

It's not like I was going to do anything else after I was done eating anyway.

"You're really going to stay down here with her until she wakes up….You should really take a break. Everyone misses you on the bridge and you've been down here since we moved her. Have you even used the restroom?"

I laughed,"Yes, Mother, I used the restroom."

Shion rolled her eyes, but smiled anyway,"Hey, I'm just trying to help you feel better. She's not dead, nor will she die if you continue to treat her the way you do. She'll be scared to leave you."

"Do you think so?"

"I know so and so do you. She's probably wondering why you haven't come to get her yet."

"A subconscious dive?"

"Of course, there's no other way to help her get better…We could just let her sit there, but that might take time that we DON'T have. So what do you say? Me, you and MOMO? She wants to go too."

"And us as well." Jr. and Sazuka said together, coming in the room. They both smirked at Shion, who rolled her eyes a second time.

"I didn't agree to that."

"Well I've never been in someone's subconscious. I think it'll be fun. And Ziggy's sleeping anyway, so he won't know the difference." Sazuka replied, with a grin.

"And you would know that how?" Jr. asked, lifting an eyebrow at Sazuka. Shion looked at her questioningly as well and even I was a little curious.

"Does it matter? Just know that I know that Ziggy is asleep. Geez….say one thing and you get asked 21 questions by a bunch of people younger than you."

"So it doesn't matter that you know? Or it just doesn't matter HOW you know?" Jr. questioned, trying to get something out of her.

"Neither of them matter really. Nice try with the question thing though. Only chaos can pull that off from some reason."

"It's because chaos isn't a regular person."

"I am still in here." I rolled my eyes like Shion had done earlier, and stood up, handing the tray of food to Shion. While everyone had been talking, I had been eating; slightly faster than before.

"Well then to you want to take a subconscious dive, chaos? We can check on her that way."

"Does everyone have to go?" That was the first time I had ever implied that I wanted to be by myself. I don't know why I decided to do that, but I wanted to go ALONE. They'd just have to get over it….Maybe I am still a little mad.

"Do you not want us to go?"

"Do you think I want you to go?"

"…………..If I were you, I wouldn't. Cause she is YOUR girlfriend after all. We kind of come in second when it comes to you. So I guess you can go alone." Shion decided, typing on her little computer (ya know the one on the handheld thingy).

"Are you sure you want to go alone? You could be attacked and-"

"Shion, I'm sure."

"Oh….Okay. Well grab her had and I'll start up the dive….Just a few more commands and…" Shion's computer began to spark and she yelped, dropping it to the ground. She blew fiercely on her hand, obviously suffering from a slight burn.

"Kos-mos doesn't want us to go to her." I said, staring at the wall. As soon as the computer began to spark, the reason rang in my mind. Kos-mos didn't want me to go through a dive to see her. She wanted me to wait.

I think I already said that I'm starting to hate waiting…..

Now, let me say that I'm starting to hate waiting with a large passion.

An EXTERMELY large passion…

"Well……I guess you're going to have to wait then." Shion said, matter-of-factly. I sighed and sat back down in the chair I had been sitting in.

There's that "wait" word again….

I think I'm even starting to hate that word…

"Yeah, sorry chaos." Sazuka yawned then winked at us, "I think I'm going to go see what Ziggy is up to."

"You already said he was asleep!" Jr. cried, wondering what in the hell was wrong with Sazuka.

"Well he might be up now. Maybe he noticed I was gone and woke up-! I mean……Bye kids!" Sazuka bolted out of the door and we just watched as the door shut behind her, with that weird swishing noise that the doors always make.

I wonder who decided that doors would go SWISH everytime they opened and closed……

WHAT AM I THINKING ABOUT!

Kos-mos needs to wake up soon. I'm losing my mind….I can't even seem to remember how I kept my calm without her….Or maybe it's the waiting that's bothering me so much….

There's that word AGAIN!

I sighed and laid my head back down beside her arm, closing my eyes. My mind was racing and going everywhere when it usually didn't do that. I used to have the most patience in the world….I have no clue where it all ran off to. I really wish it would come back right now…I'm gonna go crazy if I'm not careful.

But I guess that's what happens when you're angel falls to the ground in sparks and smoke.

"chaos, just give her time. She'll recover and then her systems will reboot and come back online and she'll be as good as new!" Shion grinned at me and I lifted an eyebrow in response, then closed my eyes and leaned my forehead against her arm.

So that's what she's doing, huh?

Making me wait for her to reboot?

I'll wait then, Kos-mos….

I'll wait forever…

So that you can reboot your systems….

And come back to me.

End Chapter 12