Blair choked back the acid taste in her mouth as she rose from the side of the toilet. She hadn't meant to succumb to her dirty little secret, but the calling had been too strong. Grabbing one of the plush towels nearby she daintily wiped the corners of her mouth. Picking up her toothbrush, she brushed her teeth roughly, trying to erase the stain of shame from her mouth. Finished, she stared at her reflection in the mirror, hating what she saw. With trembling fingers she traced her perfectly arched eyebrows, her sharp cheekbones and the round bow of her mouth.
"Audrey, your name is Audrey," she whispered, even as it felt wrong. She felt wrong.
Even the dreams that tormented her were wrong. He was wrong. Color slowly stained her cheeks as she remembered the way he had kissed her. The way his hands had worshipped her body. The way he had made her feel like she was the most precious thing in his life. Guilt flooded her that instead of dreaming about her fiancé she was dreaming of a complete stranger, Jack's nephew. Shaking her head she attempted to erase him from her thoughts, wash him out of her brain.
"You are in love with Jack Bass and are marrying him next month," she said forcefully to the girl in the mirror. "These dreams are nothing more than the after effects of your brain injury."
Flashes of light pricked at her eyes as a vision blasted through her brain.
"Tell me you love me," he demanded, his lips hovering over her ear as he moved deep within her.
She teased him, deliberately remaining silent. Thrusting her hips against his, she chuckled as he bit back a moan. Tilting her head, her lips caught his in a passionate kiss.
"Say it, Blair," he growled, as he pulled his mouth free from hers. Reaching between their bodies he found that tender ridge of flesh that ached for his touch. His sensual fingers slowly circled her bud until she was shaking, begging for release.
Her body, taunt with tension, could take no more. Hooking her legs tighter around him, her nails digging into his back, she finally gave in. "I love you, Chuck Bass," she cried, as overwhelming pleasure burst through her.
Blair rubbed violently at her temples, as the vision faded, replaced once more by her image in the mirror. Staring at herself in horror she turned away, rushing out of the bathroom as her stomach once more started to churn.
Getting dressed she tried not to dwell on this disturbing development. Not only had she had a waking dream, but for the first time she had put a name to the face that haunted her. The thought occurred to her that perhaps she should call her doctor, but she quickly dismissed this idea. There was no way she was going back to the hospital. She had worked too hard to be free. She would deal with this herself. There would be no more dreams, no more visions; she would control this even if it killed her.
Blair waited impatiently outside, several blocks from her hotel, her arms wrapped around her chest tightly. Nervous, she kept looking over her shoulder for any sign of Jack. While consciously she knew he was at work, subconsciously she was afraid he would show up and catch her. Once or twice she almost gave in and returned to the hotel, but each time the remembrance of the blue-eye blonde and the feeling of safety and completeness that Serena aroused in her kept her feet planted firmly on the ground. Standing on the corner Blair searched every cab that went by in search of her new friend. Just as she was about to give up a big black limousine purred it's way up next to her. Unexplained, heat rose to her cheeks, her breath hitching in her throat in anticipation of the door opening. For just a moment a precious memory floated by, before vanishing once more into the messy subconscious of her brain.
"Audrey," Serena called out, climbing out of the limousine and all but flinging herself in Blair's arms.
Unused to being greeted with such friendliness, Blair stiffened at first, but as Serena continued to hug her - holding her tight – Blair found herself melting in her embrace. This simple human contact seemed for a minute to right her world, erasing the trauma of her morning declaration of love to the wrong Bass.
"So what is on the agenda today? Gucci? Prada? Armani?" Serena asked, as Blair pulled away from her embrace.
"If you don't mind I was wondering if you would like to like to look at houses with me today? I have got to move out of the hotel," Blair said shuddering. "There is just something so Euro trash about hotel living."
"Ah…sure," Serena said hesitantly, glancing out the corner of her eye at the man that waited in the shadows. "Would it be okay if we stopped at Gucci first? There is a dress I need to pick up."
"I suppose so," Blair replied, frowning. "Let me just text my real estate agent that we will be meeting her later. "
Blair whipped out her phone, texting a new agenda to her agent while Serena pulled out her own phone to send new directions to her co-conspirator.
"So…tell me how you have been?" Serena asked cheerily over her shoulder as she climbed into the limousine.
Blair hesitated for a moment, standing still as she felt a pull deep in her belly as she stared into the dark interior of the limousine. Catching sight of the empty seat next to Serena she almost felt as if something was wrong, like there was a puzzle piece missing from the picture. Dismissing her thoughts she smiled brightly, seating herself next to her new friend on the soft leather seats.
"I've been good," she lied through her teeth.
Serena caught the odd tone in Blair's voice and tilted her head, regarding her friend closer. Blair didn't look good. Her face was pale, her eyes glittering in a way that told Serena that Blair's world was a mess right now. She wanted to pry, to gather her friend into her arms until she was forced to tell what was in her heart. Instead she only smiled, afraid of jeopardizing the small seed of friendship that had been planted.
"I can't tell you how glad I am you decided to come out with me today," Serena said with a sunny smile. "I was afraid up until moments ago that you would cancel. I thought your fiancé might be worried about you hanging out with someone you had just met," she probed gently. Serena didn't tell her how she had waited breathlessly by her phone ever since they had last said goodbye. She had been so sure that Jack wouldn't let Blair spend time with her, no matter how clear she had made it yesterday that she had accepted Blair's new identity.
A shadow crossed Blair's face, her eyes darkening. "Of course, he's fine with it. He trusts my judgment," she said coldly, fidgeting with the straps of her Birkin bag.
"Of course he does," Serena said soothingly, her eyes clouding over at Blair's obvious lie.
Looking into Serena's earnest face, Blair felt guilt rise up in her. It almost hurt to lie to this girl that had so easily befriended her.
"Tell me about your dress," Blair demanded, anxious to change the subject.
Serena laughed, this was the Blair she remembered. "It's just a little black, slinky number. Something to wear for an evening out with the right guy."
"That sounds lovely," Blair said wistfully.
"You should get a new dress and have your fiancé take you out for a night on the town. New York has so many lovely and romantic spots for couples."
"I don't know… I'd like to, but Jack is so busy all the time," Blair replied so sadly that Serena's heart ached for her.
"Well, good thing that you met me. I know this city like the back of my hand. I can show you the UES like no other and I just know you will love it as much as I do," Serena said resolutely.
Blair's face lit up like a Christmas tree. "I would like that. I do hate to bother Jack," she said hesitatingly.
Serena nodded sadly. She could only imagine how Jack would react to being disturbed and the thought scared her.
"Does Jack work a lot?"
"All the time," Blair sighed. "Sometimes I almost feel like he is already married, only to the job. I guess Bass Industries was kind of a mess when he took over so he has had to spend a lot of time straightening things out."
Serena couldn't help being grateful for small mercies. If Jack was so busy at Bass Industries that left him little time to manipulate and damage Blair. At least no more then he had already done so.
Like a bolt of lightening Blair was hit with another memory. Crying out she held her head as images flashed through her head like film winding through a camera.
Dressed only in a filmy slip, pearls around her throat she sat mesmerized by the man sitting next to her. They stared into each others eyes until the world seemed to fall away and only they existed. Leaning into each other, he murmured words of permission. Words she never thought she would hear coming from him.
"You sure?"
And she was. Their lips met in a kiss so magical, so intoxicating, they were rendered breathless by its glory.
"Audrey…Audrey, honey. Are you okay?" Serena asked frantically, reaching out to grasp her hand.
Blair squeezed her hand tightly, her nails digging into Serena's palm as the haze of the vision began to clear from her eyes. Blinking her eyes rapidly, she was brought abruptly back to the present.
"Don't tell Jack," Blair whispered, her eyes wide with panic.
"Don't tell him what?" Serena asked with a calm she did not feel.
"About what just happened," she replied, refusing to look Serena in the eyes.
"What did just happen?"
"I'm not sure," Blair answered releasing Serena's hand. "It felt like a memory, but it couldn't be. It's just not possible…It was with the wrong man," she said, her tone slowly creeping into hysteria. "I think I'm going crazy."
Serena schooled her face to express no emotion even though her heart was breaking. While she wanted nothing more than for Blair to remember, she didn't want it to happen like this, not with pain and panic. Reaching out to grasp her shoulders, blue eyes locked on brown ones. "Audrey, you are not going crazy. I promise you."
"It is getting worse. In the beginning, after my accident this happened all the time, but the last year I had been getting so much better. Now, since I've gotten here it is all falling apart," Blair cried brokenly as tears filled her eyes.
Serena put her arms around Blair, hugging her tightly. "Shhh…"she murmured softly, comforting her friend.
"I don't want to go back to the doctor's. They just make it worse with all their pills and therapy," Blair said frantically.
"No, no doctors," Serena replied hastily. The last thing she wanted was for Blair to go back and see the psychopath who had done this. Whatever was happening to her needed to be kept a secret. If Jack found out there was no telling what lengths he would pursue to keep Blair in a stupor.
Sniffling, Blair pulled away from Serena, reaching into her bag for a handkerchief to wipe her tears away. "I won't go back to the hospital. No matter what," she vowed, her eyes hardening.
"No," Serena said, hot tears pricking her own eyes. She would give her life to ensure that Blair never went back to that hospital. "We will figure this out together. Whatever you remember - whatever is happening to you - there is a reason for it. We just need to find out why."
"Thank you, Serena." Blair replied, her tone filled with gratitude. "But I don't understand why you would do that? Why put so much effort in helping a complete stranger?"
"Let's just say you remind me of a close friend," Serena said tenderly, tucking a stray strand of dark brown hair behind Blair's ear. "Someone I miss dearly."
"She is very lucky to have you as a friend," she replied with a haunting smile.
"No, I am the lucky one. Tell me about these flashbacks you are having?" Serena asked cautiously, almost afraid of what she might hear.
"It is so embarrassing," Blair said, blushing.
"There is nothing you could tell met that would embarrass me. Just look up Serena van der Woodsen in the tabloids," Serena laughed. "There is nothing I haven't been caught doing."
Their conversation was temporarily brought to a halt as the door of the limo swung open at the private entrance to Gucci's downtown store.
"I keep dreaming of another life, one that doesn't exist—," Blair paused briefly as she stepped gracefully out of the limousine.
"How do you know it doesn't exist?" Serena asked, as she followed Blair into the store.
"Because there is a man in it, who shouldn't be there. Someone I don't know and yet I do," Blair tried to explain, knowing that she wasn't making much sense. "He haunts me when I sleep and now even when I am awake."
Serena tried not to squeal with delight. There was only one man that would haunt Blair's dreams no matter where she was or whom she was, and that was Chuck Bass. There was nobody else it could be. The connection between Chuck and Blair was something practically epic, almost like it was written in the stars.
"Do you know this man? Have you met him before?" Serena asked eagerly, her heart practically thumping out of her chest.
"Yes, I…" Blair stopped in her tracks, all color draining from her face at the sight before her.
Leaning lazily against the marble desk in the show rooms of Gucci was Chuck Bass.
"Audrey," Chuck drawled.
Blair shivered as he said her name, her blood flashing hot then cold as he stared at her with knowing eyes.
"Chuck…," Serena said warningly, shaking her head and motioning for him to leave. This wasn't part of the plan. He was supposed to wait until after lunch before accidentally bumping into them, not ambush them in the middle of Gucci's show rooms. What perfectly awful timing, especially when Blair was just about to open up to her. She was so angry she could have kicked Chuck. "Audrey, I would like you to meet my step brother—"
"Chuck Bass," Chuck finished, giving his trademark smirk.
"We've already met," Blair said haughtily, giving him such her coldest stare.
"Oh," Serena said pretending confusion. "I didn't realize."
Blair turned her gaze to Serena. "How could you not mention the fact that your step-brother is Chuck Bass?" She asked through gritted teeth.
"I generally try to forget," Serena said with exasperation. "No offense, Chuck."
"None taken," Chuck replied genially, never taking his eyes off of Blair.
"Serena, how dare you? I share my life with you and not once did you mention that you knew my fiancé or that you were related," Blair said icily.
"I didn't mean to hide it from you," Serena said pleadingly. "I just didn't want to mention it because I was afraid that if you knew it would jeopardize our friendship. There is a little bit of bad blood between the van der Woodsen's and the Basses, Chuck excluded…well, mostly," Serena joked lamely, shooting her step-brother a wordless appeal.
"Did my Uncle Jack not mention his van der Woodsen connections?" Chuck asked innocently, his tone at odds with the smirk he wore.
"Of course he did," Blair replied shortly, burying her confusion and hurt in anger.
"Then I am truly shocked he agreed to this little outing today."
"Well, he did," Blair said as her eyes narrowed dangerously.
Nonchalantly Chuck pulled out his phone. "Then he won't mind us calling to check in will he?"
Blair tapped her foot impatiently, a small puff of exasperated air leaving her lips. "Go right ahead."
Chuck kept his eyes on Blair as he dialed the number, the air between them growing thick with tension as neither one backed down.
"Chuck," Serena called out warningly, flashing him a panicked look.
Finger poised just above the send button, Chuck waited a fraction of a moment. In that split second, Blair reacted. Grabbing the phone out of his hand she looked at it just long enough to register the number before handing it back to him.
"That is not Jack's number," she said breathlessly, weak with relief.
"I know," Chuck smirked.
Before Blair could stop herself, the narrow toe of her Mahnolo shoe made sharp contact with his shin. "You're heinous," she hissed.
Eyes sparkling with pleasure, Chuck didn't even flinch.
"Audrey, Chuck enough," Serena said, trying to hide the laughter in her voice. Happiness flooded her she glanced between the two of them. The very air seemed to spark with their chemistry, reminding her of so many times past. "You two stay here and behave," she admonished, walking away. "I am going to go grab my dress. "
"Serena…Don't—" Blair called out as Serena disappeared around the corner.
"Afraid to be left alone with me?" Chuck asked with a devilish smile.
Blair raised her chin defiantly, looking him straight in the eye. "Absolutely not."
"Really…" Chuck drawled, taking first one step and then another closer to Blair. "Then why do I make you so nervous?"
Blair retreated backwards until her back hit the wall. "You don't," she swallowed nervously, looking at him with big, dark eyes. "It is just that Jack warned me against you. He said you were dangerous."
Chuck leaned into the wall next to her, so close his lips hovered over the tip of her ear. "Do you think I am dangerous?"
Blair inhaled sharply, her eyelids shuddering closed as his breath feathered over her sensitive skin. She felt feverish, the blood in her veins set afire by his nearness. Her hands clenched the straps of her bag tightly, as the dreams and flashbacks of the last few days exploded in her head. It took all of her control not to lean in, cup his face with her hands and kiss him uncontrollably. Shaking her head violently she pulled herself out of her haze.
"No, not dangerous. Merely annoying," Blair replied dismissively.
"Prove it," he said from deep in his chest, his voice as thick as fog. "Have lunch with me?"
"I can't. Jack would—."
"Jack would what?" Chuck interrupted with a bored tone even as his face betrayed him, the planes and angles tightening into a stone mask.
"Nothing," Blair said shakily. She was torn between duty and desire. She owed Jack her allegiance. He was all she had. Yet at the same time she couldn't deny that strange longing in her heart to explore the source of her dreams and visions. Perhaps spending time with Chuck would allow her subconscious to recognize that the dreams she was having involved the wrong man. If that was the case then she owed it to herself and Jack to have lunch with Chuck so she could get him out of her head once and for all.
"Have lunch with me, Audrey?" Chuck asked once more, holding his heart in his hands.
Blair stared up at him, his eyes locking on hers until she couldn't look away. Oblivious to everything else she held her breath, her heart turning over in her chest, as she sank into the murky depths of his eyes. Time stretched out, extending the moment until it was as fine as spun glass and as fragile as crystal. And still Chuck waited.
"Yes," she finally whispered.
"Tomorrow," Chuck murmured. "I will send a car." Catching her hand he brought it gently to his mouth with barely reined in hunger. He kissed her hand slowly, with unhurried ease; savoring the taste, the smell, and the feel of Blair on his lips
Blair caught her breath, riveted to the spot she let him kiss her hand. Electrical impulses like a current flowed from his lips, leaving her tingling from head to toe. "No, not to the hotel," she murmured as if in a dream.
"Here. I will have the car meet you here," Chuck said, reluctantly releasing her hand and slowly stepping away as Serena came into view.
Serena hid a secret smile as she stepped into the room, happy at the scene she had just interrupted. It took all of her control not to squeal with delight. It would only be a matter of time now. She was positive that every minute Blair spent in Chuck's company would bring her closer to regaining her past and realizing the dreams she thought of as false memories were in fact the truth. All that remained was to keep Jack ignorant of Audrey's activities as long as possible, before he had a chance to do more damage. If he had any idea of their plan or Audrey's meetings with them, Serena had no doubt he would ship Blair back to the hospital and their cause would be lost.
Pleased she grabbed Blair's arm and pulled her towards the door.
"Bye, Chuck," Serena called out gaily. "We have house hunting plans."
Blair spared one last searching look at Chuck before being hustled out the door by her friend.
Chuck didn't bother to hide his triumphant smirk as they left. He could already see the effect he had on Blair. Like a moth to a flame she was just as drawn to him as he was to her. Already she was starting to see there was no denying what lay between them. Once again, he thanked his private investigator for having the foresight to bug his limousine. Now that he knew she was having flashbacks it made it that much easier to woo her, seduce her and trap her into admitting what lay between them. And if all else failed he would whisk her away, lavish her with attention until she fell in love with him all over again. Either way he would win, because Blair would be where she belonged, with him.
This is dedicated to my still faithful readers: Sara, READER120, nicodemusfleur, elodie6391, elodie6391, KATE2008, momentofbored, Ruby_Queen, Madeleinex, Krazy4Spike, JYLlian, Jennaxox, PrettyYellow, GossipGirlFanForever, odyjha, Syrianora, CanYouSayItTwice, :D, Nakii-Ilylac, xoxoTwilight269, xoxo - Amber, ggloverxx19, Antigone, abelard, Lee Rion, and SilkenBone922.
Without you there would be no update.
Much love to Camilla for the beta.