Hermione makes a drastic decision... What will the consequences be...
Hermione rested her head on Bellatrix's chest. She could hear and feel her heart beat. Bellatrix's fingers entwined in Hermione's brown curls and tickled the back of her neck. Hermione's eyes fluttered shut as she felt Bellatrix's soft fingers against her skin. Her mind was spinning. She kept hearing McGonagall's voice in the back of her head, warning her to stay away from the woman in whose arms she was lying now. She tried calling up the faces of her friends but they constantly faded into a blur. At night, when everybody else was asleep, she would sit up with the diary and just stare at it. She didn't know what else to write. She knew she could never tell them the truth.
That same diary was now lying under her bed. The same bed she was lying on with Bellatrix. The bed in which only mere minutes ago they had made love. Bellatrix had hexed the door, leaving it both impossible to open and soundproof. All the other students had been in the common room. Everyone knew better than even attempt to enter the dormitory when Bellatrix had decided to seclude herself. Hermione's naked body was only partially covered by the sheets on her bed. Bellatrix's body felt warm and soft against her own. Small beads of sweat were still visible on the dark haired witch's forehead.
"I don't want this to ever end" Bellatrix whispered softly as her hand trailed down Hermione's arm. She placed a kiss somewhere in Hermione's hair .Hermione felt tears sting behind her eyes. Happiness battled sadness for domination. Her heart was full of love and yet it felt as if it was about to break. "I do not care if I have to betray my husband for the remainder of my life, Hermione. I don't want this to ever fade..."
Hermione was about to whisper something in return when the door to the dormitory opened. Bellatrix immediately sat up, wrapping one of the sheets around her naked body. Hermione instantly missed the warmth against her skin but her eyes were drawn to the door. Bellatrix had already grabbed her wand. Hermione suspected she would erase the mind of whoever saw them together. But the spell never fell from her lips. In the open door stood Andromeda, closely followed by Narcissa.
"Bella..." Andromeda never got any further than her sister's name. Brown eyes widened at the sight of her sister in Hermione's bed, with only a sheet covering her naked skin. Her mouth dropped and she almost instantly attempted to push Narcissa out of the room but the blonde sister came in anyway. Narcissa froze at the sight of her sister and her hand slowly covered her mouth.
"CISSY! ANDY!" Bellatrix shrieked in panic and with a flick of her wand the door slammed shut. "What are you doing here? Didn't I tell you not to come in here?"
Andromeda looked slightly taken aback by her sister's outburst. She glanced at Hermione. "I'm sorry Bella but Slughorn is looking for you. Something about your Potions essay. I don't know..." She hesitated and glanced at Narcissa, who was still too stunned to speak. Bellatrix nervously looked from one sister to the other, as if to determine who would betray her to her parents first. "Bella, I swear we won't tell anybody!" She harshly nudged Narcissa in her ribs.
"Nobody!" Narcissa squeaked as she rubbed her side and shot a dark glare at Andromeda.
Bellatrix's dark eyes shot from Andromeda to Narcissa and back. Her voice was cold and dripped with venom. Suddenly she spilled the secrets she knew her sisters had tried to keep from her. But she knew. She had always known. "If I even suspect one of you will speak to Mother and Father I will make sure your life will be hell from now on. Andromeda, I will tell Mother and Father you are secretly dating a Mudblood. Narcissa, I will them you have slept with that worthless Ravenclaw boy..."
Both sisters looked horrified and even Hermione felt slightly worried by Bellatrix's anger, regardless of how surprised she felt that Bellatrix had accepted her sister dating a Mudblood. She sat up and put a hand on her new lover's arm. She caught her dark eyes. "Bella, ssssh... Don't say things like that. I trust your sisters to keep our secret safe. After all, like you said, they have secrets of their own to keep. There is no need to threaten them like this"
"Bella, to us it does not matter. By now you should know that" Andromeda said. Her cheeks had turned a dark shade of red when Bellatrix betrayed her secret about dating Ted Tonks. She had no idea her sister knew. Narcissa looked horrified at the idea her sister knew about her one mistake. Andromeda glanced at Narcissa and Narcissa nodded. "You know how I feel about the traditions imposed on us by our parents. I think they are wrong"
Narcissa walked around the bed and slipped her arms around Bellatrix's neck. Hermione curiously observed the rare display of affection. She had always known the relationship between Bellatrix and Narcissa to be different to the one Bellatrix had with Andromeda. Seeing the two sisters share a hug made her wonder why their relationships were so different. When Narcissa let go of Bellatrix she turned to look at Hermione. Blue eyes searched her face.
"You know what will happen if this ever comes out" she said through clenched teeth. Hermione guessed her defensiveness was more because of her sister than the fact she disliked Hermione. "I will proudly keep your secret if you promise never to betray it. Regardless of what happens"
Hermione nodded. "Never would I dare betray our secret" She glanced at Bellatrix, who glanced back at her. "I love your sister"
Her answer seemed to have satisfied Narcissa because she turned away from Hermione and exited the dormitory. Andromeda remained behind, her light brown eyes resting on Bellatrix. The silence lasted for a few more seconds. "Bella..." Andromeda started and a tear trickled down her cheek. She had never expected her sister to know her secret "How long have you known..."
Bellatrix looked at Andromeda. The sharpness of her voice had faded and the friendly voice Hermione had gotten so returned. A little smile broke through on Bellatrix's face. "From the beginning. You are my sister, Andy. And you will always be my sister. Now go join Cissy. It is her I trust least. Please make sure she does not speak to Malfoy. Surely he would find it delightful to inform our parents"
Andromeda briefly nodded and she too turned to leave the dormitory. When the door closed, Bellatrix threw herself back on the bed. Angry tears suddenly seeped through her eyelashes and dripped onto the pillow. Hermione carefully wrapped an arm around her sobbing lover and let her fingers trail down Bellatrix's back.
"Don't cry my love" she whispered and planted a kiss on Bellatrix's shoulder blade. She felt the turmoil inside. Bellatrix cried over their secret being uncovered. What if she ever learned none of this had ever been real? That Hermione wasn't who she thought she was, that she did not even belong here? She thought about the diary under her bed. Everything felt so wrong and yet so right. If there had ever been a moment where she believed things had fallen into place, this was it. And at the same time everything was wrong. The shattered pieces of the Time Turner lay in the small bedside table. She had not touched them since she arrived here. She knew that somewhere in 1999 people were trying to get her home. But as she lay beside Bellatrix she didn't want to leave.
She managed to ignore her diary for another few days but eventually one night when Bellatrix was doing her homework in the common room she picked it back up. She too should be doing her homework+ but the pressure her heart put on her made her change her mind. She sat on her bed, with legs pulled up, the diary resting against her knees. There were several short messages from Minerva McGonagall. All were asking whether she was all right. Hermione's finger trailed the words on the yellowish paper. It was impossible to believe there was another life out there. Her own. The one she was meant to return to. She picked up her quill and began writing.
Professor, I am sorry for not writing for several days. I think I am beginning to realize where I have ended up. The turmoil inside me is impossible to describe in words. I have tried to keep a low profile but somehow I have made friends. People I never knew and never will know. And I can't get over the fact that – if I return- I will never see them again. I try to focus on my classes, make the best out of it all. But with every passing day it becomes more difficult. It is November now. People have started talking about Christmas. I am afraid I will still be here by then. They will all go home and I will be left here. Perhaps that is for the best. Two weeks away from all those faces. How are things going back home? Could you please pass on a message to Ron and Harry and tell them they'd better buy me a Butterbeer in the Leaky Cauldron when I get home? I have to go now. My roommates are about to come up for bed and I don't want any of them finding this diary. Hermione.
She stored the diary in her usual hiding place and slipped off her bed. She grabbed her Potions books and her half finished Transfigurations essay before going into the common room and joining Bellatrix by the fire so she could finish her homework. She caught Bellatrix's eyes when she sat down beside her and for a few moments they looked at each other. Hermione thought back to what she had just written. Now that she was seeing Bellatrix, being in this time had become even harder. She smiled when she felt Bellatrix's hand brush against her own.
November rapidly faded into December and apart from the occasional hopeful message from Professor McGonagall, there wasn't much that allowed her to focus on her previous life. Occasionally she thought of her friends and imagined Ginny putting up Christmas decorations in the Gryffindor common room. She wondered how Ron and Harry were getting on in their Auror training. Professor McGonagall revealed very little about what her friends were doing, probably out of fear someone might discover the diary and learn things they were not supposed to know. Hermione herself had still not mentioned she was in Slytherin or that she had befriended the Black sisters. Her relationship with Bellatrix bloomed over the month November and the onset of December but as the prospect of Christmas came closer, Hermione noticed Bellatrix became more and more withdrawn.
It was the day before most students would return home for Christmas and Hermione found Andromeda alone in the common room doing her History of Magic homework. Andromeda seemed thoroughly bored and gladly accepted the distraction in the form of Hermione. She put her homework down and smiled.
"Andy, can we talk?" Hermione's eyes swept across the common room to make sure no one was lurking in the corners somewhere. Satisfied there was no one around she took a deep breath. "I am worried about Bella. I mean, she barely talks to me anymore. All she seems to want is just lie in my arms in silence. And I love your sister but... she worries me"
Andromeda slowly nodded. She saw the worried look in Hermione's eyes. "I understand. See Hermione, Bella knows what will happen when she returns home. During the Christmas holidays our parents will continue with the arrangements for her marriage. And it will be a constant reminder to her that she is to marry Rodolphus Lestrange and she therefore can never truly be with you"
Hermione felt angry tears well up behind her eyes. She and Bellatrix had barely spoken about her oncoming marriage. By not speaking of it they could pretend it would not happen. Now the inevitable was about to take place. Her parents would continue with the arrangements. "I see" she whispered and fought against her tears. She glanced at Andromeda. She remembered Bellatrix's surprising reaction to her sister dating a Mudblood. What would happen for Bellatrix to hate her so? And there and then, her heart made a decision. She took a deep breath. "Do you know where she is?"
"Library I think" Andromeda answered and Hermione stood up. She left the common room and made her way through the castle towards the library. It was early evening and many of the tables were occupied by students doing their homework. Several swear words could be heard coming from a group of Ravenclaws who were doing their Herbology homework and Hermione grinned to herself. She found Bellatrix in one of the corners, sitting at a table on her own. She looked up when Hermione stepped in her line of vision and dark eyes instantly brightened.
"Hey" Bellatrix smiled "What are you doing here? I though you finished your home work"
Hermione nodded. Her heart ached in her chest and the knot in her stomach tightened. She dug her nails into the palm of her hand. The risk was worth taking. She had made herself believe it was. "I have. Bella, I need to talk to you. And it can't wait. Can we, please?"
Bellatrix frowned. She had picked up the desperate tone in Hermione's voice. She closed her books, pushed them in her bag and stood up. She followed Hermione out of the library. Once they were walking through the corridor and she was satisfied they were alone, her hand found Hermione's. The corridors of the castle were decorated with all sorts of Christmas decorations and some of the suits of armour appeared to be humming Christmas tunes. Mistletoe had appeared in the strangest places, like over classroom doors, which had caused some hilarious situations when Avery had been forced to kiss Professor McGonagall, much to her disapproval. Bellatrix unexpectedly turned Hermione towards her and kissed her. Hermione answered the kiss whilst her heart cried out in her chest. Her hazel eyes looked up and found another piece of mistletoe dangling over their heads.
"I will have this one magically follow us from now on" Bellatrix whispered when she broke away. She brushed a strand of brown hair behind Hermione's ear "At least then I have a good excuse to kiss you in the middle of a crowded corridor"
They had reached the courtyard and Bellatrix climbed on one of the walls. Hermione followed and watched how Bellatrix pulled up her legs, her feet pointing at Hermione. A playful grin lingered in her lips. Bellatrix looked beautiful in the orange gloom of the torches. "Now, what was it you want to talk to me about?"
"There is something you need to know" Hermione whispered, slowly averting her eyes. She couldn't look Bellatrix in the eye when she broke down her world. "Something about me"
Bellatrix cocked her head. Dark eyes nervously searched Hermione's face. "What are you talking about? I thought you had told me all your secrets" She hesitated and she swallowed her tears. "Are you... are you leaving me?"
"NO!" Hermione quickly answered and hazel eyes snapped up to meet Bellatrix's. She could see the tears glisten in her lover's eyes and she ached for making Bellatrix upset. She knew somewhere she was wrong for doing this. She shouldn't. She had no idea to what it would lead. What it would mean. But she had no choice. For there to ever be a truth, she had to erase the lie. "No. I am not leaving you. I merely... I need to tell you the truth about myself, Bella. There is something... many things... you do not know. And by Merlin, I have no clue where to start"
Bellatrix waited. Dark eyes rested on the girl sitting across her. She saw the painful expression in her lover's eyes and she wanted to reach out and touch her though she doubted Hermione would let her. It was dark and not even the moon managed to break through the thick snow clouds. The first tiny flakes began falling and there was no doubt that tomorrow they would wake up to a tender blanket of white snow covering the Hogwarts grounds.
"I am not a Slytherin" Hermione softly said and averted her eyes. It seemed the easiest way to start. "I was sorted into Gryffindor when I started Hogwarts" She hesitated and bit her lip, her eyes still not meeting Bellatrix's. "I do not belong here, Bella. In so many more ways than one. I was sorted into Gryffindor in 1991. I was given a Time Turner in my seventh year and... There was an accident whilst I was wearing it. The Time Turner broke and it sent the time spinning. When I woke up, I found myself here. In 1969... My name is Hermione Granger. I am Muggle born. A Mudblood. I was born September 19th, 1979"
Bellatrix sat up as the words began to sink in. Dark eyes were riddled with confusion. She searched Hermione's face but did not find the other girl meeting her eyes. "So... so... you are not real?" Her voice had been reduced to a whisper. She reached out a hand, as if to touch Hermione.
"I am very real" Hermione answered softly and now finally she allowed herself to meet Bellatrix's eyes. The dark haired witch was staring at her. Her dark orbs were riddled with confusion, her hand still mere inches from Hermione's. "I am real, Bella... Only thirty years from now. I won't be born for another ten years. I am a seventh year Gryffindor student in 1999, which is the year I had the accident with the Time Turner. It sent me thirty years back in time..."
Bellatrix looked at Hermione. Realization slowly began to sank in. Dark eyes widened in fear and she slightly shook her head. "You should never have told me this" she whispered as she leant in. Hermione knew those words to be true but she couldn't lie any longer. Bellatrix deserved the truth. Bellatrix's hand desperatly clutched Hermione's and she quickly kissed her. The kiss left Hermione's lips feeling warm and longing for more. She never ever wanted it to end. "You risked altering the whole time line by telling me. Why did you?"
Hermione shook her head. Part of her knew she had acted irrational. She knew she had endangered everything. "I could not lie to you any longer, Bella. For whatever reason I ended up here... there must be a reason. And you must know... They are working on a way to help me return. It will not be long before they will have found one"
"Don't leave" Bellatrix whispered immediately, her eyes piercing into Hermione's. She sounded desperate and tears glistened in her dark eyes. She still held Hermione's hands, her fingers now stroking the back of her hand. "Please don't leave. You can stay here. You never have to tell anybody what happens in the future. Nobody will ever have to know who you really are. You can start over. With me. You can make a new future. Just don't leave"
"I have to" Hermione whispered, her hand slipping out of Bellatrix's and now cupping her lover's face. The mere thought of goodbye made her heart break in her chest "There is too much at stake, my love. You know I cannot tell you and I just hope you will understand"
Bellatrix nodded and leant in. Her lips brushed against Hermione's before she rested her forehead against that of Hermione. Now the truth lingered between them and both knew that one day separation would be unavoidable. And both hoped that that day would never come. Hermione's eyes fluttered shut as she heard Bellatrix's voice whisper "It does not matter, Hermione. We will find a way somehow"
The morning arrived that most students would return home for Christmas. Hermione had sadly watched Bellatrix pack her trunk and with a hollow feeling she had followed her to the castle's entrance. Narcissa and Andromeda had been waiting but both turned away when Hermione wrapped her arms around Bellatrix's neck and pulled her close. Saying goodbye to her for two weeks, without knowing whether she would see her return, ripped her heart to shreds. The night before Bellatrix had taken her for a walk around the lake and had magically conjured up a blanket and a fire. They had made love in the snow, under the stars, and then lay in each other's arms for hours as the snowflakes had once again begun to fall. They had said their goodbyes then but now Hermione could not let her go.
When Bellatrix eventually moved out of Hermione's arms there were clear tracks of tears visible on her cheeks. Hermione brushed them away with her thumb and tried to smile. Tears trickled down her own cheeks. "I'll miss you"
Bellatrix nodded. "And I'll miss you. I just hope you will still be here when I return"
She slowly turned away and joined her sisters. The three of them slowly walked away. Hermione watched how Andromeda and Narcissa walked along side Bellatrix though neither ever looked back. From Bellatrix's hanging shoulders Hermione could tell she was crying. Hermione watched them walk out of sight and, as they disappeared over the hill, she dropped to the floor and landed with a soft thud. Her heart had broken in her chest. Tears flowed from her eyes and her body was shaking violently. Never before had she felt like this. She had lost people before. She had watched them die. But this felt different. She had never before been forced to just watch them walk out of her life.
Suddenly there was a hand on her shoulder and she looked up. Through the blur of her tears she recognised Minerva McGonagall. Slowly her teacher hoisted her up and supported her. Her voice was soft and comforting. "Come with me, Miss Granger. I think it is time for you and I to talk"