"Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength,
while loving someone deeply gives you courage."
~Lao Tzu~
Hermione woke in her by now familiar bed in the Hospital Wing. It had been two days since she returned to her own timeline and every time she saw somebody she had also seen in the past, she found herself surprised by how much or how little they had changed. She didn't see many people though. A handful of teachers. Mostly Minerva McGonagall and Poppy Pomfrey but she also saw Professors Sprout and Flitwick. McGonagall insisted that Hermione didn't see Ginny but now that the days begun to pass, she could no longer stop her from seeing her friend.
"Hermione!" Ginny's excited voice came from the open door and Hermione sat up in her bed. A smile spread across her face when Ginny ran across the ward – much to the disapproval of Madam Pomfrey- and threw herself on Hermione's bed. They hugged for several moments and when they let go, Hermione noticed the changes in Ginny's face. She looked different. Something had changed. "I kept asking McGonagall whether I could see you but she was being a bloody pain..."
Hermione smirked. "You're here now..."
Ginny sat herself down on the bed and pulled her legs up under her backside. "I was so worried, Mione. I had no idea what you were doing and when McGonagall said you had gone quite far back in time I got scared they'd never get you back" Brown eyes caught Hermione's. Suddenly she realized what she saw in them. Sadness. There was sadness in Ginny's eyes. Ginny took a deep breath. "You must tell me everything"
"I don't know if I can" Hermione answered quietly and averted her eyes. Outside the weak winter sun was falling through the window. She had been standing by that window only last night. There was no snow covering the grounds. No white crystals that reminded her of what it had been like only a few days earlier. Winter at Hogwarts had been short this year. "So much has happened"
"McGonagall didn't say... how far back did you go?" Ginny ignored Hermione's reluctance. Something eager could be heard in her voice. As if she was looking for something. "Hermione?"
"Thirty years" answered Hermione. Her hazel eyes caught Ginny's. She looked pale, Hermione noticed. It was a sharp contrast with her fiery red hair. "I woke up in September 1969"
Ginny covered her mouth with her hands and suppressed a soft gasp. From the other side of the ward Madam Pomfrey was suspiciously observing them and Hermione suspected she would try and catch as much of the conversation as she could, only to pass it on to Minerva McGonagall. "That begins to explain it. How could it not. If you go back that far the timeline must be changed. It is way more than a whole generation. That must be what's done it..."
"What's done what?" Hermione questioned. Since her return McGonagall had been very careful about telling her things about the timeline. She had sensed things had changed but she had no idea how and whom they had affected. At this moment she still didn't even know whether Bellatrix was alive. When she had confessed to McGonagall, it had taken her teacher a few minutes to let the message sink in. But then she had gotten up and walked out only to return hours later. But never did she mention anything about the changes in the timeline. "Ginny, what's happened? I know something's changed but I... I don't know how..."
Ginny frowned slightly. "The memories... It's like I have double set. Some of them belong and some of them don't. It's like events have been planted in my head..." She hesitated and suddenly tears began to well up in her eyes. "Like it is not bad enough to watch one brother die..."
"One... – Ginny, who else?" Hermione breathed. Her heart was racing in her chest. Had her marriage to Bellatrix Black cost the life of another Weasley? Hazel eyes desperatly searched Ginny's face. "Talk to me"
"I have memories of Fred dying. Of seeing him lying there, with his eyes wide open. Dead. But... Suddenly they seem unreal. They are unreal. Fred is alive. It feels like it was all a dream. But...but..." Tears began to trickle down Ginny's cheeks. Hermione's brain was working rapidly. Fred Weasley was alive. A victim of the war who had been dead before she left was now alive. The time line had changed significantly and drastically. She let herself fall back in the pillows, a sigh escaping from her throat. "But Ron..." Ginny's voice broke.
"Ron?" Hermione whispered and suddenly the awful image of Ronald Weasley lying sprawled out over the cold castle floor with his eyes wide open, staring into nothing, flashed through her head. Like a distant memory suddenly floating back to the surface. It was as if it had been hidden in the corners of her mind, long forgotten and slumbering in the darkness. She couldn't call up the image of Fred in a similar position though she knew that once she had seen him like that. But the image was gone. Erased. Like it never happened. It had been replaced with Ron. Tears burned behind Hermione's eyes. Never had she believed Ron would die. Her voice was shaking. "Ron is... dead?"
"In the Battle" Ginny answered and Hermione understood she meant the Battle of Hogwarts. It would appear as if the loss of Fred's life had been replaced by the loss of Ron. Now she began to understand what McGonagall meant. The changes in the timeline were obvious but it was clear hardly anybody understood what happened. One day they had all just woken up in a different world. The changed events had become fact and nobody knew any better. Apart from those who perhaps had various memories and suspected something had changed. To others it felt like it had always been like this.
Hermione decided the best way to gain her information was by pretending she had lost her memories. She knew what had happened before she left. She still remembered. But she had to know what the world was like now and McGonagall wasn't going to tell her. "Gin, I can't remember... anything. My mind is a blur. I don't know..." Tears seeped through her eyelashes. The loss of Ron suddenly felt fresh and where it had been quite some time for Ginny it felt as if her friend had only just died. "You need to tell me. Tell me who died. Tell me who lived. Tell me everything"
Ginny nodded and briskly brushed her tears away. She looked at Hermione. Tears still dripped down her cheeks and her hazel eyes looked desperate. She sighed. "Ron died in Battle. He was fighting some Death Eater. Dolohov I think. And the curse... it just came. And it hit him and he was dead. Just like that. There were so many. So many who died. We put them in the Great Hall. Lupin's dead too but Tonks survived. Teddy will never know his father but he has his mother to tell him how wonderful he was. "
More changes. Before she left Tonks and Lupin both died in battle. Now one of them survived. And Hermione knew for a fact that Tonks had been a victim of Bellatrix before the timeline changed. It suddenly changed everything. She pushed herself up. "Did they capture all the Death Eaters?"
"Most of them, yes. Lucius Malfoy went to jail and will rot for the rest of his life in Azkaban. His wife is still free though, as is his son. You-Know-Who is dead. The Aurors killed Dolohov and Avery in battle. Yaxley escaped but they caught him the next day in the middle of London. The... the only one who really got away is Bellatrix Black. One minute she was fighting mom, the next she was gone" There was anger in Ginny's voice. Hermione's heart leapt up. Hope roared in her heart and the memory of intense dark eyes flooded back into her mind. Bellatrix had escaped. She was alive...
"Miss Granger, I think this is about as much excitement as one can bear after your adventures" spoke Madam Pomfrey in a correcting tone. She had appeared at the side of the bed and glanced at Ginny. "Miss Weasley is free to return to tomorrow morning but now you need to rest"
Whilst Madam Pomfrey watched Ginny reluctantly said goodbye and Hermione lay herself down in her bed. She rolled onto her side, with her back towards Madam Pomfrey. She could hear the school nurse shuffle around a bit before she retired back to her office. Hermione's heart was pounding fiercely in her chest, almost in a desperate outcry of joy. Something warm rushed through her veins, leaving her blushing slightly. She felt excited. Bellatrix was still alive. She was still out there. And their union still existed. Her hazel eyes dropped to the ring and she carefully circled the black diamond with her finger. And she could swear she felt it beating weakly underneath her touch.
Two more days past until Professor McGonagall finally decided it was OK for Hermione to begin taking her classes again. So that morning she got dressed at the side of her bed, checked her bags and studied her time table. It had of course changed from the one she had been following the past few months. Realizing she had double Charms, Hermione sighed and swung her bag over her shoulder. She said a polite goodbye to Madam Pomfrey, who appeared glad to see the back of her, and made her way from the Hospital Wing to the Charms classroom. She got there before most of her classmates did and entered the classroom. It was almost empty and her eyes almost instantly fell on the seat she and Bellatrix used to share. With a hollow feeling in her chest, Hermione sat down and opened her books. This was her first day back to her old, or maybe new, life and she had to make the best out of it.
After double Charms it was double Potions after which it was time for lunch. Hermione found herself eagerly accepted back in the Gryffindor crowd and only when she joined them at the house table, on the other side of the Great Hall, did she realize how much she had missed sitting with her friends. Though, with a strange melancholy feeling, her eyes were occasionally drawn back to the Slytherin table and she almost longingly stared at the silver and green robes. Her gaze was caught by McGonagall when she looked away and shamefully she stared at her lunch.
From the moment she confessed, McGonagall had said nothing about Hermione's magical marriage to Bellatrix Black and Hermione suspected she had been using her wisdom and contacts to try and work out a way that could perhaps undo the magical union that was made. But Hermione knew she would not find one as it would take both her and Bellatrix. And nobody knew where Bellatrix Black was. She had not been seen since the night of the battle and the Ministry hadn't a clue as to where she was hiding.
Talking to Ginny and some of her fellow classmates, under the pretence of memory loss, Hermione quickly gathered information on the events that took place before, during and after the Battle. Some of the deaths had indeed changed but it seemed that no one had really noticed the difference, apart from a few who – like Ginny- said it felt like they had two sets of memories. One that was true, the other felt like a dream.
After lunch was Herbology, double History of Magic (as boring as ever, even after thirty years) and double Transfiguration. It was that particular class Hermione had been dreading. And when she walked into the classroom and found Minerva McGonagall sitting behind her desk she felt the intense urge to turn around and run away. She was ten minutes early and normally she would have taken a seat and studied the material required.
But not today. McGonagall looked up when she heard Hermione come in. "Miss Granger, please sit down. I wish to speak to you"
Hermione sat down at one of the front row desks and folded her hands on the table. She blinked a few times in order to control, and hide, her nerves. But her voice was shaking anyway. "Professor?"
"As your classmates undoubtedly will have told you, Bellatrix Black survived the war" Professor McGonagall said. Emerald green eyes pierced into Hermione's hazel brown. Hermione knew her teacher was trying to be strict but she could see the worry flicker deep beyond her eyes. "This is a great change in the original timeline, as Bellatrix Lestrange died in the previous version of the Battle. However, it would appear that your magical union has saved her life. And it is also clear she never did marry Rodolphus Lestrange as she is magically bound to you"
Hermione nodded. "I am aware" she answered and played with her fingers "Apart from what we both felt back then, it was also a pact we made to prevent her from ever marrying Lestrange. That marriage would have killed her..." She paused. "You and I both remember the two separate timelines, Professor. For whatever reason your memories are as intact as mine. And I believe that Bellatrix's are too. What else can you tell me?"
"Miss Granger, surely you are not considering finding Bellatrix Black?" McGonagall seemed astounded at the mere thought.
"With all do respect Professor but regardless of what she is to you and what she has done in this newly created timeline..." Hermione straightened her back and broadened her shoulders. A trait of arrogance she had picked up from Bellatrix. A trait she knew McGonagall would recognize. Green eyes flickered behind her spectacles. "She is still my wife"
"You two never spent a day of married life together" McGonagall said sharply. She clasped her hands together and peered over the rim of her glasses. Green eyes dangerously darkened. "You entered a magical binding. That is all. Never a day of married life, the pair of you. Never truly been together"
"She has thirty years of memories of being married to me" Hermione argued and almost instantly recognized defeat in McGonagall's eyes "She has thirty years worth of memories of me. Something she maybe can't explain. Or maybe it makes perfect sense" She raised her hand and showed the ring. McGonagall's eyes widened at the sight of the golden reminder. "You said you knew these rings. You know what they symbolize? You know what these magical diamonds do? They will only beat when they encounter their destined lover, Professor. And when Bella gave me this ring, the diamonds were beating like two separate hearts. But when the ceremony was performed, they were beating like one. And it is still beating now"
"You don't have to find her, Miss Granger" McGonagall argued but she reminded herself this was one third of the Golden Trio she was talking too. Neither of those students had ever listened to any teacher telling them not to do something and she doubted Hermione was about to listen now. "You don't owe yourself anything"
Hermione's hazel eyes caught Minerva's and she cherished the ring on her finger. "I owe her"
The days began to pass and slowly January was replaced by February. Excited girls began talking about Valentine's Day and were whispering together in the courtyard about the boys they wished would send them a card this year. The castle was filled with red roses and the beautiful scent lingered in the corridors. Sometimes Hermione would swear she could hear the suits of armour hum silly love tunes and suspected it had been Professor Sprout who had come up with that crazy idea. The freezing wind slowly eased off as the first days of February passed away. It would not be long till spring arrived and the first flowers would blossom.
Hermione found herself easily readjusting to life at Hogwarts the way she had always known it. Though sometimes, when she entered a classroom, she still looked for the faces of those she knew were now grown up. Or dead. Seeing Draco Malfoy sit at the Slytherin table was a cold reminder of the nights she had sat beside his mother, eating her food and sharing laughter.
It was in the dark hours of the night she missed Bellatrix most. It was in those hours she just longed for her arms around her, to feel her curls tickle her skin. Sometimes she could almost smell her perfume and it always felt as if those dark eyes were following her everywhere. Sometimes it almost felt like Bellatrix was watching her through the dark glass or from behind a shadowy corner. Hermione would swear she could hear her whisper sometimes, just loud enough to soothe her down to sleep. But when she woke up in the morning, when she still lingered in that peaceful state of slumber as sunlight fell into the room, she could feel her beside her. Only when her eyes opened, she was gone.
Hermione found herself trapped inside her longing for Bellatrix. It was as if McGonagall knew because for some reason she kept visiting the common room, almost as if she checked to see whether Hermione was sneaking out at night. She would call for Hermione to help her prepare for classes or ask her to join her in her chamber for tea and biscuits. But she never mentioned Bellatrix and the union she had entered. It was as if their magical bound was something not to be discussed. As if not talking about it would make it go away.
And so it happened that Valentine's Day passed and February quickly changed into March. Hermione found herself sitting at the Gryffindor house table one morning when, from the corner of her eye, she discovered Draco Malfoy leave the Great Hall. Hermione quickly glanced at the Staff table. McGonagall was unusually late and she saw her chance. She left her seat and abandoned her cereal and quickly followed Malfoy down into the dungeon. She knew the way to the Slytherin common room with her eyes closed but she needed the password to get in. To her surprise, the password was remarkably simple and unusual ("Severus Snape"). She lingered around the dungeons for a little bit longer but then had to return to her classes. Anxiety rushed through her as the hours began to pass. Now that she knew the password she waited till the end of the day, when all the Slytherins had retired to the Great Hall for tea. There were advantages to having lived like a Slytherin for several months and creeping around the castle without being seen was one of them.
She made her way down to the dungeons, stated the password and then Hermione entered the dungeon like common room. She was surprised to find it had changed little over the last thirty years. The same carved chairs, similar leather sofas and the familiar green glow from the lake. It felt an awful lot like home, much like the Gryffindor common room did. The lampshades had been replaced and a trophy cabinet had been erected in the corner. She noticed, to her bemusement, it was about half as empty as the Gryffindor one. Standing in the middle of the common room it was as if the images from the past suddenly returned. She heard the familiar voices. Shadows seemed to float into the room, turning into those she had once known. She imagined Narcissa sitting by the fire, doing her homework with a pained expression on her pretty face. And she could picture Andromeda in her favourite chair by the window reading a book. And she could just picture Bellatrix, lying on the sofa as she chewed on her quill. She just looked at the sofa until the image faded.
She made her way to the boys' dormitory and found the rooms occupied by the seventh years. It was easy for a girl to sneak into a boys' dormitory but it was more difficult to do it the other way around. She pushed the door open and it was easy to tell which bed and trunk belonged to Malfoy. A large silver M was stitched on his pillow cover. She smirked to herself. The arrogance was still there. Or maybe it was pride. She knelt down beside his trunk and whispered a soft "Alohomora"
With a soft click the lock opened and she lifted up the lid. What she found was not that different from what she would find in her own trunk. Some clothes, old robes and some unused schoolbooks. The usual mess left behind by students. But what she wanted was something more important. Something she needed to see. And she knew Draco would have it. She didn't know how or why. Something just told her she would find it. She knew his mother well enough in that particular way. She had spent several months around Narcissa to observe some of her ways. And she wasn't wrong. At the bottom she found the picture, stuffed between a second year Charm's book and a third year Potions book. A Potions book that was no longer used in Hogwarts and hadn't been for thirty years.
She took the book and opened it. In the top corner, in a handwriting she had learned to recognise, she read Narcissa Black. Hermione swallowed. This was as close as she was going to come. She carefully pulled the picture from its hiding place and gasped silently. Three familiar faces stared back at her. Three young faces. Three faces who looked alike and yet were all so different. She stuffed the photo safely in her pocket, put the book back and closed the lid. Draco would never miss it because she doubted he had ever known it was there. She locked the trunk, rose back to her feet and carefully made her way out of the dormitory. She snuck out of the Slytherin common room and with the picture safe in her pocket she made her way to Gryffindor Tower.
The picture was all she had of Bellatrix now. And as she sat by the window in Gryffindor Tower, her index finger traces the lines of Bellatrix's face, her neck, her body. The tingling feeling in the pit of her stomach returned. The picture was taken during their one Christmas apart, when Bellatrix and her sisters had gone home. Bellatrix looked exactly like Hermione remembered her. Young, with a certain innocence still reflecting in her eyes. Her raven black curls fell down her shoulders, down the sharp line of her ivory toned face. And in the picture Bellatrix smiled. And Hermione knew that smile was for her.
The trip to Hogsmeade that followed the week after her find gave her the one opportunity she needed. Hermione was walking down the road leading into the wizarding village, her hands pushed deeply in the pockets of her jean. A soft little wind was blowing through the trees, rustling the first green leaves and slightly pulling at her hair. Professor McGonagall was distracted by a group of third years who were ending up in an argument. Two boys had drawn their wands and seemed ready to duel. Hermione watched for a split second, weighing up her chances. Not far behind her she could see Ginny walk down the road, accompanied by Seamus and Dean. If she waited, her chance would slip. She turned away and quickly hurried down a small path that led her through the trees. It didn't lead into Hogsmeade. In fact it didn't lead anywhere at all. She was sheltered between the trees and away from Hogwarts grounds. The magic that had restricted her from Apparating inside the grounds was gone. Hazel brown eyes fluttered shut and she spun on the spot. By the time McGonagall heard the familiar CRACK coming from between the trees, Hermione was gone.
She reappeared at the end of a magnificent drive. She almost instantly forgot her fear when she looked up to the Manor. She had suffered between those walls. She had experienced one of her worst moments here. And now she was back. Looking for the good. With a deep breath Hermione started along the driveway. Gravel snapped under her boots with every step, until she reached the front door. It was locked – unsurprisingly. Hermione firmly knocked on the heavy wooden door and waited.
Seconds past and then the door swung open. In the beam of yellow light coming from inside the house a figure appeared in the open door. To her horror and surprise Hermione was faced with Narcissa Malfoy. For a split second she remembered her as a teenager. Then she remembered her with a tear stained face during the Battle. The blonde witch's eyes widened when she discovered Hermione standing outside but realization dawned on her immediately. It was as if a hidden memory sparked in the back of her mind. Narcissa was dressed in snow white robes with a blood red broche pinned just above her right breast. Her long blonde hair was held back in a casual bun in the back of her neck.
"Miss Granger" Her voice was a mixture of contempt and surprise. She narrowed her eyes, as if suddenly memories began to float back into her. Cerulean eyes searched Hermione's face. The memories dawned on her. Narcissa's arrogance faded rapidly. "What are you doing here? How can I help you?"
Hermione showed Narcissa the ring around her finger. The black diamond glistened in the weak sunlight and when Narcissa gasped she slowly nodded. Both remembered. They both knew. Though Narcissa has grown up and Hermione had not changed at all, they shared the same memories. "You know why I am here, Mrs Malfoy" she spoke softly. Desperation flickered in her eyes. "You know where Bella is and I need you to tell me. I rely on you. I need to find her"