We come to love not by finding a perfect person,
but by learning to see an imperfect person perfectly
~Sam Keene~
Hermione Apparated just outside the gates of Hogwarts. They swung aside and she began running up the path leading to the castle. It had been the first place that popped up in her mind, just before Malfoy Manor. But she doubted Narcissa could help her with any of this, apart from taking her to Bellatrix. And she knew she had to see her. She had to find her. But first she had to see Minerva. Tears were streaming down her face and with every step her body hurt more. She was tired. Her heart was pounding insanely fast against her ribcage and it felt as if her lungs were going to explode.
She ran straight to Minerva's office and knocked the door. Every part of her body hurt. She was panting and fine beads of sweat had appeared on her forehead. She held herself up by clinging on to the doorframe and when the door opened she looked up, straight into Minerva's green eyes. Tears were still trickling down her cheeks.
"Hermione, what happened?" Minerva asked when she found Hermione's distraught figure standing outside her door. She carefully took the younger witch by her arm and led her inside. She made a mug of tea appear out of nowhere and handed it to Hermione. She thankfully took it but did not drink it. Minerva sat down in the other arm chair by the fireplace and searched Hermione's face.
"Harry knows" Hermione stuttered and brushed her tears away. She looked at her Head Mistress. Minerva's green eyes widened behind her glasses. "About Bellatrix. About our marriage..."
"But how..." Minerva began, her hand now resting on Hermione's arm "Surely you did not confide in him?"
Hermione shook her head and took a few breaths to control her racing heart. "No. We were working in Grimmauld Place. And there is a tapestry in one of the bedrooms. It is the Black family tree. And... And... Harry was cleaning that room and he must have seen my name on there. I never thought it would. But it is there. Connected to Bella's"
Minerva sat back in her chair. Defeat riddled her face and her mind began to add the pieces of the puzzle together. She was trying to find a solution and glanced at Hermione. "I know the tapestry, Hermione. And I assume Harry did not take very well to this news?"
Hermione shook her head and nervously played with her hands. "Not at all. He told me to get out of his house" She brushed her last tears away. "Professor, I don't know what to do. Harry and Ginny know. What if they tell other people? I don't want anyone to know what happened. Nobody will understand. I just wish none of this had ever happened"
"I will see to it Mister Potter will not share this knowledge any further. I will see to it that Miss Weasley also does not speak of it" Minerva said and now she leant in. She took Hermione's hand into her own and squeezed it. "Hermione, this can't go on..."
"I know, Professor. And as much as you have been trying to tell me differently, whatever this is it can only be resolved if I find Bellatrix. Whether it is to continue what we had or to break the magical union between us... I can't do anything unless I find her" Hermione spoke desperatly "Surely you must understand that?"
Minerva sighed. "The thought crossed my mind, yes. And as much as I hate to admit it, it would appear that finding Bellatrix is the only way to turn this around. Since you have appeared on the Black tapestry I think it is safe to assume your last name would be recognised as Black as well"
"Does it matter?" Hermione sighed and shook her head. Finding Bellatrix now mattered more than anything. She wanted to find her. She wanted to feel complete. She wanted to feel the diamond in her ring beat in unison with Bellatrix's. She loved her still. "Professor, I know where she is. Well, sort of anyway. I have learned she is living somewhere in Wales" She stood up and looked down at the older witch. "I am asking your permission to leave Hogwarts and find Bellatrix"
"There is little I can do to stop you, Hermione. You are an adult and I see the importance of your quest" Minerva's eyes glistened behind her glasses and she looked at Hermione. "Permission granted. When will you be leaving?"
Hermione was already half way out of the door. Malfoy Manor was the place she had to go to and she couldn't waste another minute. "Tonight"
She had packed a small rug sack, changed her clothes and bound her hair in a loose ponytail. She had quickly dropped by Minerva's office, hesitant to knock. In the end she had turned around and walked away. The corridors felt foreign and strange. Students were making their way to and from the Great Hall. Some were laughing, others were quiet. One or two had sat down on the benches and were reading their schoolbooks. It looked like an ordinary school night but the truth was there was nothing ordinary about it at all.
Hermione saw Ginny leave the Great Hall just as she was about to leave the castle. She held still in the open door, her heart skipping a beat. Their eyes met across the distance of the room and Hermione would swear she could see sadness flicker in Ginny's amber eyes. It Ginny who looked away first and the heavy feeling in Hermione's chest only grew. She left the castle and stepped out into the grounds. Now that the sun had set and the sky was dark it had cooled down. The trees looked like dark, scary shadows against the darkening sky.
She made her way across the grounds until she reached the large metal gates. They silently swung aside and she left behind the safe grounds o Hogwarts. The gates closed behind her and Hermione shivered for a moment. She was alone now. And nobody else could help her. She closed her eyes, called up the image of Malfoy Manor in her head and turned on the spot.
Mere seconds later she reappeared at the end of the drive leading up to the magnificent Manor. It appeared to glow in the silver moonlight. Hermione took a few deep breaths and then made her way along the drive up to the front door. The gravel snapped under her feet and she confidently knocked on the front door. The wooden door swung open without anyone standing behind it and Hermione stepped into the large entrance hall. There was a sweet fragrance penetrating her nose as she made her way further inside.
"Hermione?" It was Narcissa's clear voice calling from the marble staircase. She was about half way down and curiously looked at the young brunette. She then hurried down the stairs until she reached her. Cerulean eyes caught Hermione's. "What are you doing here?"
"My friends have found out about me and Bella" Hermione quickly explained and the look in Narcissa's eyes changed from curiosity to fear "The Black tapestry in Grimmauld Place... it has my name on it. Harry now owns the house and they saw it. And now..." She didn't finish her sentence. Narcissa understood full well what had happened next. "Narcissa, I need to find her. Now more than ever!"
Narcissa seemed to contemplate for a moment. But then she slowly nodded. "Very well. I shall take you to her" She summoned her travelling cloak with a tiny flick from her wand and put it on. She pulled up her hood so her blonde hair was completely obscured and glanced at Hermione. "Like I said before, I do not exactly know where she is but I know enough to come close. I will give her a sign and she will come to meet me"
She extended her hand and Hermione took it. Narcissa's hand felt strangely cold in her own. Then Narcissa turned on the spot and with a firm jerking motion Hermione Apparated along with her.
They reappeared in a forest. It took Hermione a few seconds to orientate herself. Narcissa almost instantly let go of her hand. Hermione looked around. The thick leaves blocked most of the moonlight from falling through but between the trees she spotted a small little lake. The water sparkled in the pale beams of light. The location felt desolate. No one ever came here. They were miles from the nearest house. A gentle breeze rustled the leaves, like a silent whisper Hermione could not understand. That same gust of wind now whipped through her hair and Hermione turned to look at Narcissa. She had lowered her hood and seemed to be walking around, looking for something.
Only then did Hermione notice there was a small, narrow path leading through the trees. She quickly increased her pace to catch up with Narcissa and the blonde witch froze. "I will have to give her a sign. She does not expect my arrival"
She aimed her wand at the sky and from its tip shot a rain of white stars. They dissolved when they reached above the trees and then it looked like the ink black sky was riddled with shooting stars. Hermione felt herself gasp and the sudden urge to make a wish overwhelmed her. Beside her, Narcissa lowered her wand and turned to look at Hermione. "And now we wait"
It did not take long for an answer to come. Somewhere in the distance a similar rain of shooting stars appeared and Narcissa's lips curled up into a smile. "She knows I am here. She'll come to meet us soon" She took Hermione's hand. "It is best I do not wait here with you. Whatever it is that needs resolving, it only concerns you and Bellatrix" She gently squeezed Hermione's hand. "I admire your devotion and your courage"
"At least one of us does" Hermione answered in return and then she weakly smiled. "Thank you for your help, Narcissa. I know you do not owe me anything"
"Oh but I do. As much as the timelines are confusing, I have you to thank for my husband being in prison. I never did quite agree with his acquittal" Narcissa really laughed for the first time since their first meeting "If you ever need a place to say, since your friends do not acknowledge your marriage to my sister, please know there is always a vacant room at the Manor"
Hermione smiled. "Thank you, Narcissa"
And then the blonde witch turned on the spot and left Hermione alone in the forest. Her hazel eyes swept across her surroundings. There was a clearing not far ahead, just beside the lake. The water glistened and Hermione found herself overwhelmed by the natural beauty that surrounded her. She spun around when a branch snapped behind her. She narrowed her eyes when she thought she saw a shadow move between the trees.
"Bella?" she called. Her voice echoed through the woods.
From between the trees a dark figure appeared. Slowly and apprehensive at first, almost reluctant to step into the pale light of the moon. Hermione felt her heartbeat increase. The dark figure was unmistakably Bellatrix. Her raven coloured curls fell wildly down her shoulders and back and she instantly recognised the dark eyes. But it was the gaunt and empty expression on her face that terrified her. Gone was the smiling young woman she had known. Her ivory skin was even paler now and the pink blushes on her cheeks had faded. Her eyes had sunk deeper into her skull, giving her a hollow and empty expression.
"Hermione" Her voice had changed very little and it made Hermione's heart flutter in her chest. Suddenly she felt warm. Much like she had felt whenever Bellatrix had wrapped her arms around her in the dormitory or the courtyard or when she had taken her hand by surprise.
"Bella" Hermione smiled and took a few steps in the other woman's direction. She had changed so much. And yet she immediately recognised the young woman she had fallen in love with. She was still there. She took Bellatrix's hands into her own and rubbed the palms of her hand. The older witch flinched under the touch and Hermione wondered how long it had been since anyone had shown her any kindness.
"I knew you were real" Bellatrix muttered as she looked at Hermione. Somewhere beyond her eyes a light ignited, bringing back that flicker Hermione had come to love so much. The rings around their fingers became warmer, leaving their fingers glowing, and the black diamonds were beating firmly in unison. The destined lovers had been reunited once more. "And I knew I'd see you again. I always waited for you, my love"
"Ssssh" Hermione whispered softly. Her heart cried out in her chest. She let hand slip up the side of Bellatrix's cheek and tenderly brushed a curl behind her ear "This is all so strange and yet it feels so normal. I... I can't believe all of this has happened"
Bellatrix looked at Hermione. Everything fell back in place. Here before her stood the young woman she had met when she was only seventeen. The one she had fallen in love with, the one she had married even though she knew she never could. The timelines had changed because of their choices and now they were standing here. Together and facing each other again like they had done before. They were strangers and yet they knew each other better than anybody else ever could. Bellatrix cocked an eyebrow and a smile broke through on her ruby lips. "You haven't changed a bit"
"You have" Hermione joked, still stroking Bellatrix's cheek. She looked exactly like the deranged Death Eater she remembered. The unruly black curls, the intense dark eyes and the gaunt expression. She was wearing one of her black velvet dresses with a leather corset and what appeared to be knee length leather boots. She was in every way the woman she had remembered. Apart from her personality. This was the not the Bellatrix that had tortured her. This was the Bellatrix nobody knew. Because with their marriage she had created her.
Unexpectedly, Bellatrix's lips captured Hermione's. Hungrily, passionately. Hazel eyes fluttered shut almost instantly and she slipped her arms around the older woman's waist. Bellatrix's lips still felt the same. They still tasted the same. Hermione groaned into the kiss when she felt Bellatrix's fingers clime up her back and then tangle in her hair. She had missed her more than she had even thought before. But now that she held her, she didn't want to let her go. All the thoughts about the divorce were gone. She didn't want to lose her.
When they eventually broke away they were both panting slightly. Hermione grinned and grasped Bellatrix's hand. "There is so much to talk about. Come back to the Manor with me. Your sister is waiting. We can talk there"
Bellatrix seemed hesitant. Her dark eyes caught Hermione. "Are... are you sure? Are you sure you want to stay with me?"
Hermione nodded and squeezed Bella's hand. "Definitely. I lost you once. I am not losing you again"
Narcissa had anxiously been pacing around the drawing room but when she heard the knock on the front door she had hurried into the large entrance hall and opened it herself. Hermione was standing outside, with Bellatrix closely behind her. Azure eyes widened at the unexpected sight and she stepped aside to let them in. She instantly noticed Hermione and Bellatrix were holding hands and a little smile broke through on her face.
"Cissy" Bellatrix whispered when they had entered the house and Narcissa had closed the door. She let go of Hermione and Narcissa welcomed her sister into her arms. Hermione watched as the contrast between light and dark became so much more obvious. Bellatrix's black curls mixed with Narcissa's blonde hair and her black dress was exactly the opposite from Narcissa's cream coloured robes.
When the two sisters let go of each other both sets of eyes fell on Hermione. Narcissa was the first to speak and she made a gesture towards the drawing room. "Come. There is a lot to talk about"
Several minutes later they were all sitting around the fire. The flames were lazily eating away at the large logs and the room was filled with a warm, orange gloom. Narcissa had ordered one of the house elves to bring her a bottle of wine and three glasses and now the three of them sat in silence, each holding a crystal glass containing dark red wine.
"Where do we start?" Bellatrix questioned weakly and looked from Narcissa to Hermione and back.
Hermione put down her glass. "At the beginning. When I was sent back in time because of the Time Turner, I had no idea how much the timeline would change. And when I met you, I acted upon my feelings rather than ignoring them. And I do not think that what we shared would have altered the timeline as much. Not until the moment I married you" She played with the golden ring around her finger. "That moment changed everything. It stopped you from marrying Rodolphus and a lot of other events never took place. And events that had not taken place before I left, had taken place when I returned"
Bellatrix slightly frowned as she sipped from her wine. "What happened when you returned?"
Hermione sighed. In theory it had been mere weeks since she had come back but for Bellatrix it concerned a lifetime of memories. And that's where the things got complicated. Things that had only recently changed had changed a long time ago for Bellatrix. The paradox between them was enormous. "McGonagall almost instantly realised I had changed the timeline drastically. When she saw the ring around my finger she wanted to know whom I had married. When I told her it was you she said something like it was not valid unless the ceremony had been performed. When she realized that it had, and our marriage was legal, she began to understand what had happened"
Narcissa carefully listened. The world had never seemed like a stranger place. One morning she had woken up with her husband missing from her marital bed and memories that told her it had been like this from the day the war ended. Yet she still had vague, distant memories of Lucius being around. It had felt like an odd dream. Images she could not quite place or forget. But she had quickly learned nobody else around her felt this way so she had just learned to accept that sometimes these strange images crept into her head. That was, until she saw Hermione stand outside her door looking for Bellatrix.
"She told me things had changed. And then, when Ginny came to see me, I began to fully realize what had happened. When I left, it had been her brother Fred who died in the Battle of Hogwarts, But now... Ron is dead. One of my best friends. And Tonks, she is still alive. She was dead before" Hermione looked at Bellatrix. "You were the one that should have killed her. My marriage to you saved her life"
Bellatrix's eyes widened and she put down her glass. Her hands were shaking. "I... I was supposed to have killed my sister's child?" she wearily asked and when Hermione nodded she shook her head. "I did some terrible things but I refrained from murder all this time. I have hurt people. Really hurt them. I had no choice. It was what expected of me. By the Order and by the Dark Lord. I could not be any different than the other Death Eaters in order for the Dark Lord to trust me"
"Tell me" Hermione whispered and fell down onto her knees before Bellatrix. She grasped her lover's hands into her own and looked up to meet her dark orbs. "Tell me everything"
"When I finished Hogwarts my parents wanted to marry me off to Rodolphus. The magical seal prevented them from doing so; after all I was already taken. They were furious. They wanted to disown me like they did with Andromeda. The night my Father threw me out of our home, I went to see McGonagall. I knew she'd be the only one who would understand. She allowed me to speak to Dumbledore. That night I joined the Order and the Death Eaters. The fact that I joined the Dark Lord earned me my Father's pride and he did not disown me" Bellatrix answered. She looked tired. For all this time she had lived a double life. Nothing about what she had done had felt right or true.
Hermione looked up to Bellatrix. She looked so fragile now. Some of the colour had returned to her cheeks and the light in her eyes had ignited once again. She looked so beautiful. She had changed so much and yet so little. The love in her heart had never died. She loved her still. She loved her now. She didn't want to let her go.
"Whilst siding with the Death Eaters and the Dark Lord, I passed valuable information on to the Order. Nobody knew what I was doing apart from Dumbledore. He knew, like me, that my life would be in danger if... Voldemort would find out. I don't know when...I lost my soul. When I lost my ground and forgot what side I was on. Maybe it was easier just not to think about it. Maybe it was just easier to do all the bad things. It made me forget. In those moments I could not remember you"
Hermione flinched and felt tears burn behind her eyes. She glanced at her ring. It was her treasure. Her everything. Bellatrix's hurt and pain were genuine. She felt terribly guilty that her beloved had suffered for thirty years where she herself had suffered for just mere weeks.
"The night Dumbledore died however, I realised I had been wrong. I changed my allegiance back to the Order. Nobody knew who was providing them with their information. I know they tried to check but they never found out. During the Final Battle I did everything in my power to prevent Order members from getting killed. And that must be why Nymphadora Tonks survived..." Bellatrix hesitated. "And it is probably why your friend died, my love. I am so sorry"
Hermione shook her head. Bellatrix had little to be sorry for. All of this happened because of her and because of what she did. "The world is crazy, Bella. I don't even know what to think anymore. I can't begin to understand the events that have taken place and I can't look at my friends without wondering what it is I have done to them"
"The Potter boy..." Bellatrix started but Hermione shook her head.
"They know. The tapestry in Grimmauld Place connects your name to mine. They found out earlier today and want nothing else to do with me. How can I ever explain to them what happened? How do I ever tell Ginny that because I married you, her brother died?" Hermione covered her face in her hands and tears seeped through her eyelashes.
Bellatrix slipped out of her leather chair and fell down on her knees in front of Hermione. Carefully she lowered the younger witch's hands and she lifted up her chin. "I promised you I would be waiting and I did. These rings told us that we are meant to be together, regardless of timelines. Destined lovers cannot be separated by anything. There is no magic stronger than love"
Narcissa took a deep breath and cerulean eyes searched to meet Hermione's. "Many of the people today do not even realize things have changed, Hermione. How much does Miss Weasley know?"
"She said she has certain memories, or images, of Fred dying. She said it feels like a distant dream" Hermione answered and Narcissa nodded in agreement. Ginny's experience were similar to her own apart from the fact she had memories of herself as a teenager, knowing the young witch that was now sitting on her knees on the carpet. "So she does not quite remember and I doubt she has worked out things would have been different if it had not been for me"
Bellatrix turned Hermione's face so she could look at her. Both were still sitting on the carpet. She rested her forehead against Hermione's and Hermione could feel her warm breath against her skin. "The past cannot be changed. We will have to live with the effects of our choices for the remainder of her life"
Hermione nodded and her eyes fluttered shut. It felt wonderful to sit here with Bellatrix. To have her back, even if she barely recognised her.
"It has been a very long day" Narcissa whispered and she stood up from the sofa. Almost instantly the fire in the fireplace died and a thin plume of smoke evaporated into nothing. Hermione and Bellatrix both got back onto their feet, their hands safely joined. Narcissa looked at her sister and Hermione. To anybody else these three people in one room would look strangely odd, but to Hermione it felt perfect. "I suggest we all try and get some sleep and deal with the events in the morning"