Hey, everyone! The last few chapters were quite large, and while this one was originally going to be so, too, I decided to cut it short and turn the other half into a separate one. The reason is simply because it felt natural to end this part as it did, and it made sure I could deliver something for now.
Anyways, I hope you all enjoy it!
P.S.: The first chapter was updated a few weeks back with a new Author's Note explaining what happened to the rewrites (which are still going on), mentioning the new cover art and giving the story a fresh new synopsis. Check it out if you feel like it.
-RememberShiganshina
"Are you alright? You seemed lost", Erwin said, raising an eyebrow.
Laure looked around, profoundly confused. Erwin was standing in front of her, staring with a deadpan expression. In his hand, he held a small document, which he wanted to give to her. As she looked around, she noticed they were right beside the Wall, Captain Levi was standing by her side, his leg wounded, and there was quite the commotion not too far from them. As she focused, she could see two Titan carcasses steaming away, with a large crystal surrounded by several soldiers, who attempted to tie a few ropes around it. Like a train, it hit her- she was in Stohess, minutes after the fight against the Female Titan.
However, she couldn't help but feel that something was very off about the situation.
As her hand reached for the small document, Erwin pulled his own back, making her stop halfway. The two looked at each other and the Commander looked at her as if he expected her to say something, and yet, she never did. She hesitated for a second, a cold drop of sweat rolling down the side of her face. It felt like an eternity had passed.
Erwin then opened his mouth, suddenly.
"𝚆𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚒𝚜 𝚠𝚛𝚘𝚗𝚐?", he asked her, but it wasn't him. That voice was not Erwin's. It was a completely different voice from a completely different person, and although it seemed to be coming from his mouth, the voice swallowed Laure from all directions, disembodied and omnipotent. "𝙳𝚒𝚍 𝚜𝚘𝚖𝚎𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚑𝚊𝚙𝚙𝚎𝚗, 𝙼𝚜. 𝙶𝚊𝚛𝚗𝚒𝚎𝚛?"
The voice was familiar, but she couldn't say who it was. It was a parasite leeching into her world.
"No", she replied to the voice as if nothing was wrong, snatching the document off Erwin's hand. "I will do as you said, sir."
"Huh?", Erwin replied. "What do you mean? I haven't said what I want you to do."
Laure's head suddenly hurt, a stung of pain prompting her to recoil as her hands instinctively reached for her temples. Her ears rang so loudly to the point where she felt as if her eardrums were going to explode.
"𝙿𝚕𝚎𝚊𝚜𝚎, 𝚠𝚎 𝚑𝚊𝚟𝚎 𝚋𝚎𝚎𝚗 𝚍𝚘𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚏𝚘𝚛 𝚝𝚠𝚘 𝚑𝚘𝚞𝚛𝚜 𝚗𝚘𝚠", the voice said again, once more coming from Erwin.
"W-what are you talking about?!", she frustratingly asked as she still flinched from the pain. "Who are you?!"
"𝚈𝚘𝚞 𝚔𝚎𝚎𝚙 𝚝𝚎𝚕𝚕𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚖𝚎 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚜𝚊𝚖𝚎 𝚜𝚝𝚘𝚛𝚢 𝚠𝚒𝚝𝚑 𝚖𝚒𝚗𝚘𝚛 𝚊𝚕𝚝𝚎𝚛𝚊𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗𝚜. 𝚂𝚘𝚖𝚎𝚝𝚒𝚖𝚎𝚜, 𝚘𝚗𝚌𝚎 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚐𝚎𝚝 𝚢𝚘𝚞𝚛 𝚘𝚛𝚍𝚎𝚛𝚜, 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚐𝚘 𝚕𝚘𝚘𝚔 𝚏𝚘𝚛 𝚘𝚗𝚎 𝙼𝚒𝚔𝚊𝚜𝚊. 𝚂𝚘𝚖𝚎𝚝𝚒𝚖𝚎𝚜, 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚐𝚘 𝚕𝚘𝚘𝚔 𝚏𝚘𝚛 𝚘𝚗𝚎 𝙹𝚎𝚊𝚗. 𝚂𝚘𝚖𝚎𝚝𝚒𝚖𝚎𝚜, 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚐𝚘 𝚕𝚘𝚘𝚔 𝚏𝚘𝚛 𝙴𝚛𝚎𝚗..."
As Laure's head rose, she noticed she was surrounded by several different people.
"... 𝙱𝚞𝚝 𝚜𝚘𝚖𝚎𝚝𝚒𝚖𝚎𝚜 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚖𝚎𝚗𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗 𝚗𝚊𝚖𝚎𝚜 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝙸 𝚌𝚊𝚗'𝚝 𝚏𝚒𝚗𝚍 𝚒𝚗 𝚊𝚗𝚢 𝚘𝚏 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚏𝚒𝚕𝚎𝚜 𝚑𝚎𝚛𝚎 𝚒𝚗 𝚖𝚢 𝚙𝚘𝚜𝚜𝚎𝚜𝚜𝚒𝚘𝚗. 𝚈𝚘𝚞 𝚖𝚎𝚗𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗 𝚊 𝚌𝚎𝚛𝚝𝚊𝚒𝚗 𝙼𝚒𝚗𝚊, 𝚊 𝚌𝚎𝚛𝚝𝚊𝚒𝚗 𝚃𝚑𝚘𝚖𝚊𝚜, 𝚊 𝚌𝚎𝚛𝚝𝚊𝚒𝚗 𝙿𝚎𝚝𝚛𝚊, 𝙾𝚛𝚞𝚘, 𝙴𝚕𝚍, 𝙶𝚞𝚗𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚛... 𝚋𝚞𝚝 𝚒𝚝 𝚍𝚘𝚎𝚜𝚗'𝚝 𝚖𝚊𝚝𝚝𝚎𝚛 𝚊𝚜 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚛𝚎𝚜𝚞𝚕𝚝 𝚒𝚜 𝚊𝚕𝚠𝚊𝚢𝚜 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚜𝚊𝚖𝚎: 𝚊𝚝 𝚜𝚘𝚖𝚎 𝚙𝚘𝚒𝚗𝚝 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚜𝚞𝚍𝚍𝚎𝚗𝚕𝚢 𝚜𝚝𝚘𝚙 𝚢𝚘𝚞𝚛 𝚜𝚝𝚘𝚛𝚢, 𝚏𝚛𝚎𝚎𝚣𝚎 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚋𝚎𝚐𝚒𝚗 𝚝𝚘 𝚜𝚌𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚖 𝚋𝚎𝚏𝚘𝚛𝚎 𝚐𝚘𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚚𝚞𝚒𝚎𝚝 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚜𝚝𝚊𝚛𝚝𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚒𝚝 𝚊𝚕𝚕 𝚘𝚟𝚎𝚛 𝚊𝚐𝚊𝚒𝚗. 𝚈𝚘𝚞 𝚊𝚛𝚎 𝚑𝚒𝚍𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚜𝚘𝚖𝚎𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚏𝚛𝚘𝚖 𝚖𝚎 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚛𝚎𝚙𝚛𝚎𝚜𝚜𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚒𝚝 𝚏𝚛𝚘𝚖 𝚢𝚘𝚞𝚛𝚜𝚎𝚕𝚏, 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚞𝚗𝚝𝚒𝚕 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚌𝚘𝚖𝚎 𝚏𝚊𝚌𝚎 𝚝𝚘 𝚏𝚊𝚌𝚎 𝚠𝚒𝚝𝚑 𝚠𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚑𝚊𝚙𝚙𝚎𝚗𝚎𝚍, 𝚠𝚎 𝚠𝚒𝚕𝚕 𝚋𝚎 𝚞𝚗𝚊𝚋𝚕𝚎 𝚝𝚘 𝚖𝚊𝚔𝚎 𝚊𝚗𝚢 𝚏𝚘𝚛𝚖 𝚘𝚏 𝚙𝚛𝚘𝚐𝚛𝚎𝚜𝚜."
"Progress?", Laure asked as she felt her heart racing. Her mind was confused- at the same time, she felt as if she knew what the voice was talking about, and as if she had no idea what it was. She could remember something, but she couldn't remember what it was. "I..."
She fell on her knees, resting her fists on the ground. "I don't want to remember that..."
"𝙸𝚏 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚌𝚊𝚗𝚗𝚘𝚝 𝚏𝚊𝚌𝚎 𝚢𝚘𝚞𝚛 𝚘𝚠𝚗 𝚠𝚘𝚞𝚗𝚍𝚜, 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚠𝚒𝚕𝚕 𝚗𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚛 𝚋𝚎 𝚊𝚋𝚕𝚎 𝚝𝚘 𝚑𝚎𝚊𝚕. 𝚃𝚑𝚎𝚛𝚎 𝚒𝚜 𝚘𝚗𝚕𝚢 𝚘𝚗𝚎 𝚠𝚊𝚢 𝚘𝚞𝚝 𝚘𝚏 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚖𝚎𝚜𝚜 𝚠𝚑𝚎𝚛𝚎 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚌𝚊𝚗 𝚏𝚒𝚗𝚍 𝚢𝚘𝚞𝚛𝚜𝚎𝚕𝚏 𝚝𝚊𝚔𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚌𝚘𝚗𝚝𝚛𝚘𝚕 𝚘𝚏 𝚢𝚘𝚞𝚛 𝚘𝚠𝚗 𝚎𝚖𝚘𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗𝚜. 𝙵𝚘𝚛 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝, 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚗𝚎𝚎𝚍 𝚝𝚘 𝚋𝚎 𝚜𝚝𝚛𝚘𝚗𝚐."
As she looked up, she noticed Erwin was gone. Everyone else, was gone. There was only one person right in front of her. It was herself, a perfect image of when she was just 17 years old, her braided hair, old Scout uniform and well rested eyes right in front of her. Her reflection then extended her hand towards her, wanting to help her stand up.
"𝚂𝚘, 𝚙𝚕𝚎𝚊𝚜𝚎, 𝚋𝚎 𝚑𝚘𝚗𝚎𝚜𝚝 𝚠𝚒𝚝𝚑 𝚖𝚎... 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚢𝚘𝚞𝚛𝚜𝚎𝚕𝚏. 𝚃𝚎𝚕𝚕 𝚞𝚜 𝚠𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚕𝚕𝚢 𝚑𝚊𝚙𝚙𝚎𝚗𝚎𝚍."
The mighty blue moon bathed the fields, covering them in its light, illuminating the swarm of Titans that surrounded the abandoned fortress. The Beast Titan was kneeled on top of Wall Rose, and as his arms spread up above his head, he let out the primordial screams of a creature hungry for blood.
"That day was a nightmare", Laure said as she looked up at the Beast Titan that was right besides her. Her reflection stood by her side, and her eyes followed hers, accompanying her sights and her words. "From the early morning all the way to the night, it was a series of horrible situations, one after the other."
Nanaba and Gelgar slashed Titan after Titan, their swords breaking more and more with each victim, but no matter how many they took down, it was as if their numbers never ended.
As a Titan tried to grab Gelgar, his hand was suddenly cut off, giving the Scout time to escape. Laure then circled back and finished off the Titan, her blades snapping in half as the massive chunk of flesh was severed from its nape.
"From Stohess to the Titans within Wall Maria to being surrounded in Utgard Castle... I honestly can't tell how many times I escaped death in just a few hours."
"𝚈𝚎𝚜, 𝚄𝚝𝚐𝚊𝚛𝚍 𝙲𝚊𝚜𝚝𝚕𝚎", her reflection said, carrying the arcane voice within her. "𝚃𝚑𝚎 𝚒𝚗𝚌𝚒𝚍𝚎𝚗𝚝 𝚒𝚜 𝚖𝚎𝚗𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗𝚎𝚍 𝚑𝚎𝚛𝚎 𝚒𝚗 𝚜𝚘𝚖𝚎 𝚘𝚏 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚏𝚒𝚕𝚎𝚜, 𝚋𝚞𝚝 𝚠𝚎 𝚑𝚊𝚟𝚎 𝚊𝚕𝚜𝚘 𝚝𝚊𝚕𝚔𝚎𝚍 𝚊𝚋𝚘𝚞𝚝 𝚒𝚝 𝚍𝚞𝚛𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚘𝚗𝚎 𝚘𝚏 𝚘𝚞𝚛 𝚙𝚛𝚎𝚟𝚒𝚘𝚞𝚜 𝚜𝚎𝚜𝚜𝚒𝚘𝚗𝚜. 𝙸 𝚏𝚒𝚗𝚍 𝚒𝚝 𝚞𝚗𝚕𝚒𝚔𝚎𝚕𝚢 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚄𝚝𝚐𝚊𝚛𝚍 𝚒𝚜 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚜𝚘𝚞𝚛𝚌𝚎, 𝚞𝚗𝚕𝚎𝚜𝚜 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚖𝚎𝚊𝚗..."
"You are right. It isn't Utgard", Laure said as she turned her head to her reflection. "It's what happened much earlier before that."
The two looked at each other and, in unison, tried to touch one another. As if touching the surface of a lake, both started to ripple, before converging into one being. The blue moonlight that covered everything became even more so intense, a flash of white consuming seemingly the entire world.
As the bright light dimmed down, Laure noticed it was actually the sun that had been blinding her all along. It was a little past noon, and it illuminated the battled fields, ever watching the bloodshed that was taking place.
"Hey, Garnier", Nanaba said from on top of her horse, the experienced veteran ready to leave, waiting near the stone bridge that crossed over a running river. On the other side, the cadets from the 104th were fleeing, having been able to escape from the Titans that had suddenly swarmed the area only a few hours ago. "Since you still have some equipment, I was wondering if you could check on Miche."
"Yes, ma'am", Laure replied as she holstered her remaining blades. Nanaba silently acknowledged her response with a soft nod and turned her horse, leaving in a hurry as she tried to catch up with the cadets. Laure brought her fingers to her mouth and whistled for her horse, who took no time to show up. She got on top of it and, taking one last look at the sun, rode back the road they all had been on.
On her way back, she rode past one of the villages that they had just helped evacuate some civilians, and sure enough, some of the Scouts left behind were still busy aiding with the efforts. As much as she wanted to stop and assist, she knew she couldn't stop. Miche was a very talented and experienced soldier, but being completely alone as a distraction wasn't an idea that could be successful for much time.
"𝚆𝚑𝚎𝚛𝚎 𝚊𝚛𝚎 𝚠𝚎 𝚐𝚘𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚝𝚘?"
"We're going to check on Section Commander Miche", Laure replied as she kept focused on the road ahead, her horse galloping along as fast as it could. Soon enough the pair reached a forested area, and to save on time, Laure decided to go right through the woods as a shortcut.
"𝙸 𝚍𝚘 𝚗𝚘𝚝 𝚞𝚗𝚍𝚎𝚛𝚜𝚝𝚊𝚗𝚍", the voice expressed its confusion, Laure's eyes too focused on dodging branches and making her way through the maze of trees to care about it. "𝚃𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚒𝚜 𝚢𝚎𝚝 𝚊𝚗𝚘𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚛 𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚗𝚝 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚑𝚊𝚜 𝚋𝚎𝚎𝚗 𝚙𝚛𝚎𝚟𝚒𝚘𝚞𝚜𝚕𝚢 𝚍𝚒𝚜𝚌𝚞𝚜𝚜𝚎𝚍 𝚋𝚢 𝚞𝚜, 𝚠𝚒𝚝𝚑 𝚊 𝚌𝚘𝚙𝚢 𝚘𝚏 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚛𝚎𝚙𝚘𝚛𝚝 𝚑𝚎𝚛𝚎 𝚒𝚗 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚘𝚏𝚏𝚒𝚌𝚎. 𝙼𝚒𝚌𝚑𝚎 𝚠𝚊𝚜 𝚔𝚒𝚕𝚕𝚎𝚍 𝚒𝚗 𝚊𝚌𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗 𝚋𝚢 𝚜𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚛𝚊𝚕 𝚃𝚒𝚝𝚊𝚗𝚜, 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚗 𝚛𝚎𝚙𝚘𝚛𝚝𝚎𝚍 𝚒𝚝 𝚢𝚘𝚞𝚛𝚜𝚎𝚕𝚏. 𝚈𝚘𝚞 𝚌𝚘𝚞𝚕𝚍𝚗'𝚝 𝚖𝚊𝚔𝚎 𝚒𝚝 𝚒𝚗 𝚝𝚒𝚖𝚎."
Laure took a deep breath. "It's true that I couldn't make it in time", she said as her eyes remained focused forward. A clear opening from the woods could finally be seen coming up. "But I was also the only witness to what happened. Nothing could stop me from lying."
The horse finally reached the opening, sliding on the grassy ground as Laure pulled hard on the reins for a stop, dust kicking up everywhere from the hooves' glide. The shortcut had lead her to the top of a nearby hill overlooking the outpost that had been used to keep the 104th under watch, and she quickly equipped her scope to observe the area. Right by the main building she could see a hairy fifteen meters Titan — The Beast Titan — squatting over three other Titans. And right there, in the middle of the four, was Miche, cornered, and visibly scared.
Laure's breathing suddenly turned heavy as she understood what was going on. Her grip around her horse's reins tightened as she started to panick, prepared to command her ride to rush towards them.
"The Titans didn't kill Miche. It was me."
Her horse then started to make its way down the hill as she began the one mile journey to the outpost.
"The first human life I took wasn't an enemy or someone 'evil' in the name of good. It was my friend and my mentor."
The voice kept silent for a moment. With only the sound of the wind and the horse's gallop on the ground, it was as if the voice was trying to decide what to say next.
"𝚃𝚑𝚎𝚗... 𝚠𝚑𝚢 𝚍𝚒𝚍 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚔𝚒𝚕𝚕 𝚑𝚒𝚖, 𝙸 𝚊𝚜𝚔?", the voice questioned in its sole response, an obvious hint of morbid curiosity coming from it.
The Beast Titan stood up and turned its back to Miche, leaving him alone with the three smaller Titans. The Section Commander couldn't feel anything other than pure fear from the situation he was in. Before leaving, the creature made sure to snatch his ODM gear, inspecting it as he admired the equipment's ingenuity. Miche had nothing left but a single blade. And that's when his own words to Nanaba suddenly echoed in his own mind, giving him strength.
'You lose the moment you stop fighting. As long as you continue to fight, you haven't lost yet.'
He held tightly onto his weapon as he tried to stand up, screaming in rage. The Beast stopped, only turning his head slightly back in response.
"Oh, you can move now", the Titan said in its deep, monstrous voice. Miche's will to fight was instantly snapped away when he heard those words.
'Shit! Shit, shit, shit, SHIT!', Laure kept cussing to herself as she tried to force her horse as fast as possible. However, the stallion was already on its limits, and it just wasn't enough. As she got near the treeline that surrounded the outpost, she wasted no time in getting her feet of the saddle, standing on top of her horse before leaping, firing her ODM. She zipped towards the Section Commander, filled with rage as she spotted the Titans biting onto him.
Her hooks anchored onto the smaller Titan with a massive head and googly eyes. She yelled with all of her might as she used gas to boost herself forward with much speed, striking the Titan's nape and killing it instantly. She didn't release her hooks, instead using them as a sort of slingshot as her cables started to pull her back towards it moments after. She used her momentum to fly back and strike the taller of the Titans, snapping her blades instantly from the force in which she attacked it. She landed, sliding on the ground, and then turned herself around as the last of the three let go of Miche and stared at her with a very characteristic numb face.
In a swift motion, she brought her arms over her head before lunging them forward, pressing the blade release at the same time, causing the blade stubs to go flying straight into the Titans eyes. It let out a grunt of discomfort as it suddenly turned blind, and Laure quickly rearmed herself with her next pair, firing her hooks at the Titan's knees and pushing on. She cut off both of its feet by the ankles, and as the Titan fell face first on the ground, she circled back and striked the nape from upwards. She stood over the Titan's corpse, breathing heavily in a state of trance, her tunnel vision pulsating with every heartbeat of hers as the adrenaline corroded her veins.
"Help me!", Miche's voice cried for help as he extended his right hand towards Laure. She quickly turned to him, seeing him laying on the ground, severly wounded. She ran towards him and kneeled besides the man, a look of absolute dread growing in her face as she looked at his miserable state. "Please, you have to help me! PLEASE!"
Miche's left arm was dislodged from its shoulder, bones visibly shattered, his hand missing a several fingers. Both of his legs had been crudely bitten off and his stomach had a large wound that had stained his shirt with blood, possibly arising from almost being ripped apart by the Titans pulling on his body like a rag doll. Explicit bitemarks all over his head and body accompanied the spots where his clothing had been either torn or damaged. His state was one of pure suffering, and it was a miracle he was still alive at all, let alone crying for help without seemingly being aware of his condition.
Laure took a step backwards as she fought the sudden urge to throw up, a mix of the anxiety and aversion to the extreme gore. Miche's cries of pain continued as he desperately begged for help, but she couldn't help him. There was nothing she could do. He was to die a very painful death before anyone could ever help do anything. And even then, what would someone do?
No, maybe there was something she could do to help.
Trying to fight herself, Laure's eyes slowly headed down to her scabbards, where there was a single pair of blades left. She could no longer hold back the tears as they finally began flowing down her face, her hand shaking heavily as she equipped a single blade on one of her handles. Miche, who still looked at her expecting some sort of aid, froze as it dawned on him what she was about to do when she held her sword right above him.
"I-Im sorry", she said in-between the tears, her voice cracking as she fought the reflexes to just drop everything and start sobbing uncontrollably. "I'm s-s-so sorry", she repeated to him. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry", her words echoed non-stop from her mouth, desperate for forgiveness from him, and herself.
"Wait!", Miche, said as he raised his hand, trying to gesture for her to stop. "Don't do it, please! Th-there's something that can be done! PLEASE! STOP! DON'T DO THIS!"
Her breathing becoming more erratic by the second, she turned her sword downwards, aiming right at Miche's heart.
"COME ON! LAURE, I BEG OF YOU! DON'T DO THIS! THERE MUST BE SOME WAY TO HELP ME! D-"
Miche was interrupted as the blade was quickly jammed into his body, causing him to instantly cough several pints of blood. He let out a final wail of pain and suffering before, a few seconds later, going limp, his eyes halfway closed with the corners of his mouth oozing blood. Laure dettached the blade from her handle and took a few steps backwards, feeling her knees becoming weak with every one of them. She then fell down and started puking all over the grass while desperately crying, soaking the ground with vomit and her tears. She couldn't hold it at all, and for several minutes that felt like forever, that's all she could do, unable to recompose herself as the feeling of guilt and regret overwhelmed every inch of her body, filling her with anxiety.
"𝚂𝚘... 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚒𝚜 𝚠𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚑𝚊𝚙𝚙𝚎𝚗𝚎𝚍, 𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚗. 𝙵𝚊𝚜𝚌𝚒𝚗𝚊𝚝𝚒𝚗𝚐."
Laure sat on the grass, her back resting on the wall. She held her legs, her eyes fixated on Miche's body, who rested only a few dozen meters from her. She couldn't take her eyes off of him, and she couldn't care less about whether there were Titans nearby or not. She just remained there, reactionless, numb.
"Why...", she spoke softly to no one but herself. "Why... did I have to remember this?"
There was no answer. No voice, no one. She looked to her right and there was her younger self, sitting down in the same position, with the same expression on her face, except that, in a moment, her face shifted into a blank slate. Her doppelganger stood up and made their way inside and, for a few minutes, she could hear they were resupplying themselves with what was left in the outpost's supply room.
After a while, her younger counterpart left the outpost and whistled for her horse. As the stallion made its way back, she headed to Miche's corpse, taking a look at it before reattaching her handle to the blade, removing it from him, her still completely empty. She then made her way to the horse and got on top of it, looking back at her dead friend.
In an instant, her expression shifted to one of complete shock and sadness.
"Section Commander Miche...", she said with much despair in her voice as she then got down from the horse, running to his corpse. "I can't believe the TItans got you. Not you..."
She then kneeled down besides him, taking off his jacket's patch and putting it on her own pocket. She stood up and silently paid her respects.
"I can't leave you like this", she spoke to the corpse as she made her way around it. She then grabbed it and started dragging it towards the nearby woods. As her counterpart made her way back, Laure watched it all unfold, remembering it all. She couldn't accept the fact that she had to mercy kill him. She couldn't shake off the feeling of guilt, that maybe he could have been saved, that she put him down as he desperately begged for his life. She couldn't accept the fact that she had just killed a person, not a mindless monster but a real human being, and that it had been someone so close to her.
Her counterpart would come and go around the place in search of any sort of tools, before luckily coming across a spade. She would head back to the woods with it and, after twenty minutes, Miche had been buried in the middle of the woods. His cause of death was a stab to the heart putting him out of his misery, but the official reports would state he was but one of many victims of the Titans from that day.
As the young Laure got on top of her horse, for the first time, she acknowledged her older version's existence, locking her eyes on her.
"I'm gonna make them pay", she said as the two, future and past, looked at each other. "I won't let those monsters get away with it. I am going to exterminate every single one of humanity's enemies."
She kicked her horse's saddle and left, riding away back to the nearest village.
Laure watched her past leave, finding herself with more questions than she expected. Before she could contemplate, however, a doorway of light formed right in front of her. It was completely white, with no way to see whatever was inside due to how strong the lighting flowed outwards. She stood up, observing the passage, wondering what was on the other side. She took a single step forwards before stopping, taking a moment to look around for the last second.
'I faced what I chose to forget', she thought to herself. 'I am a monster. I have always been one. I've always been despicable, vile. That's why I remain a monster to this day.'
But then something crossed her mind, loud and hard to suffocate like an intrusive thought, but much louder, almost as if she was openly saying.
'What am I thinking? Of course this isn't my fault. They made me do this. My enemies put me into this situation. They are the only ones to blame. They are the ones deserving to be punished. No matter who they are, no matter what they've done, they deserve retribution for this. Why would I, or anyone else, ever think otherwise?'
She felt an acute pain coming from within all of her own being at the same time, causing her to flinch. The pain increased in scale, making her twist in agony, an entire human being beginning to separate from her own flesh. When this entity was finally fully released from within herself, she looked back at it, realizing it was actually the younger reflection of hers that had merged with her not long before.
The hue of light from within the doorway slowly started to shift to red as the world itself shook with increasing speed, as if the Colossal itself had been stomping the nearby area with all of its force.
"This is all their fault. Not mine. They are going to pay", Laure said to herself as she walked towards the doorway. "And you are going to stay here until the job is done."
She stepped inside the doorway as the entire world collapsed behind her. The passage closed itself, with Laure leaving behind the one thing that she would never be able to recover, no matter how hard she tried.
Laure slowly opened her eyes, struggling to move them due to how heavy they felt. As her vision adjusted one second at a time, she noticed the light from outside the room was already much more orange than when she first got in. The white noise that had been playing on the record player had long been replaced by some piece of music, Dr. Gouda humming along the song as he wrote on a document at his desk, a complete mess of papers everywhere on top of it. There was a mug by him, and another one on the far side of the desk, some steam still coming up from it as it painted the office with the distinct nutty smell of coffee all around.
The girl tried to get up but failed, catching Gouda's attention. "Oh, you're awake", he said as he looked at her. He finished writing down his last sentence before standing up and going around his desk, grabbing the furthest cup of coffee as he made his way towards her.
"Here, this will help you", he said as he helped her sit up, giving her the beverage once she was in a position comfortable enough to drink. "It should give you some much needed energy."
Laure took a sip, burning her tongue slightly, but failing to care as she was simply too drousy to react. "How...", she tried to speak, dragging her voice as she found it almost impossible to form words. "How long have I been out for?"
"Around four hours", the doctor replied as his eyes danced towards the massive clock in the room. He then made his way back to his desk. "You should feel sluggish until tomorrow. I'll have some orderlies help you back, so don't worry about anything. All in all, though, I would say it worked out in the end, wouldn't you?", he asked as he scrambled through the mess, looking for something in particular.
Laure couldn't help but smile a little bit, thinking about how she'd come to terms with what happened, and what she had stored for the future. "Yes, I'd say so, too."
Nishiki finally found the specific document he was searching for, lost among the sea of sheets. "Relieving a repressed memory is as traumatic as the real moment. However, it is one massive step towards properly dealing with your predicament, eh? You did good."
After once more making his way towards her, he took a look at the document, scanning its contents.
"Today's procedure was completely experimental and, even with the setbacks, it was a success. It did take while to crack you open, but after we managed to do so, your true memory was recovered and I was able to analyze what had happened to you. I made sure to compare my annotations with what we have from our past meetings."
He flipped a page, checking the information on the other side before going back.
"I see a mixture of symptoms with many different causes. It's hard to pinpoint one thing in particular, but some light has been shed to the point where it seems as if you're suffering specifically from battle fatigue."
"Battle fatigue?"
"Yes. Of course, some of my peers would disagree. They would say many more things should be taken into consideration, that it isn't as simple as this, but that couldn't be farther from the truth. You are a soldier, and this is clearly a soldier issue. Remaining under our care should be enough to deal with this and, in case it doesn't work, a more direct, physical approach will be taken."
Laure took another sip of her coffee, trying to think about what he had just said. "Staying here? For how long, exactly?"
"Permanently."
"What?", she replied in a negative tone. "What do you mean? I'm not staying here forever! I have a job to do!"
"The road to recovery is a long one", the doctor replied as he turned his back, ignoring her annoyance. "You must sit tight and wait until my work has been done, this is the utmost of opportunities for new procedures and treatments."
"You don't get it", she said, much angrier than before. "I am NOT going to stay here."
"Yes, yes", he answered automatically, not paying attention at all to her complaints. He opened the top drawer on the right side of his desk, and from within, grabbed a bottle of pills. It was semitransparent and had no label on it, the contents of its medicine mysterious. "Now, since we have already tried something experimental today, I would like to continue this process during the next week with yet another experimental technique."
Laure didn't have time to say anything as the doctor continued shortly after showing her the pills and shaking his hamd.
"You see, as a Subject of Ymir, you present a whole new world of possibilites for science. I accepted the invite to work here because I'd be surrounded by very, very interesting patients, and you are the perfect opportunity for this in particular. These pills right here, they are a brand new medication, designed specifically for your kind. You will be the first person ever to try them out. They were completely synthesized in a laboratory and coated in diluted spinal fluid to try and reach what makes your people so special and fascinating."
She couldn't believe what she had just heard. "Spinal fluid?", she asked. "Are you insane?!"
Had it not being for her feeling so weak, she would have most likely yelled her heart out.
"Now, these have been thoroughly tested before and they do not transform an individual into a Titan, so no need to worry about becoming a Pure specimen. It's simply a brand new therapeutical asset for you, and that is all that matters."
The implications left by the doctor's statement were scary, to say the least. If that medicine had been coming from Hizuru, it meant that not only did they have the means to harvest Titan spinal fluid, but they were also testing it on Eldians. Laure had no idea if anyone knew about that, but if they did, why hadn't they taken action? Hizuru was an ally, Kiyomi Azumabito was acting alongside them throughout every step in Marley. Did she know about that? Is she yet another part of the problem?
"I am not taking that crap", she said, angried, doing her best to stand up. "I am not your fucking labrat. As far as I'm concerned, you can take that and shove it up your a-"
"Don't need to worry, Ms. Garnier. Of course, I imagined you could be reluctant about the this, which is why I have already taken the first step for you. That cup of coffee right there", he said as he pointed to it, prompting Laure to look at what little coffee it had left. "I made sure to add in some of this medicine, crushed into a fine powder."
She let the mug fall to the floor, the porcelain shattering into a dozen pieces as the floor got stained with the leftover liquid. Gouda took a step forward, looking at Laure straight in the eyes as she started to breath heavily, panicking.
"You are not going anywhere until you are doing better. And as long as you are here, I will do whatever I can in the search of truth and the discovery of science. You can count your life on that."