Chapter One

'Well, I think I've got it all,' I thought to myself. Setting my last bag next to the door, I was finally packed for my trip to Seattle. I'd been waiting for this trip since Alice had called and invited me two weeks ago. I hadn't seen my best friend in months, and she'd insisted that I visit her and Jasper's gorgeous new home in Seattle. And with Alice, you didn't argue. She was a tiny force to be reckoned with. I was more than ready to get away from Chicago and James for two weeks.

It had worked out perfectly: James had a business meeting the same two weeks that I was going, so he couldn't quite prevent me from going. Granted, my telling him about the trip had resulted in a fresh patch of bruises on my back and a slight black eye, it was going to be worth it. Besides, what's one more bruise to cover up?

And even though I was more than excited to get away for a little bit and see the people I Ioved most, I was nervous about two things: First, the bruises and the gashes would be hard to hide around Alice and the Cullens, they were like family and were too perceptive for their own good. Second, Alice had informed me that Edward would also be staying at the house while I was there. It had been eight years since I last faced him, the person who had been my best friend since the 3rd grade and to whom I had told all of my secrets, the person who held my hand at my mother's funeral when I was 14, and who's family took me in when Charlie decided that alcohol was the solution to getting over his dead wife. The one person that I had fallen in love with at fifteen, but never had the courage to tell. And he was the one I left behind without a second glance after having my heart broken for the last time. This was going to be interesting… to say the least.

8 years earlier

He'd had sex with Tanya. I still couldn't quite allow my mind to wrap around that fact.

How could he? I thought things had been changing, that maybe he had been starting to feel the same about me that I had felt about him since we were fifteen. But apparently, I was way off.

But really, could I blame him? Tanya was gorgeous, no doubt about that. Long legs, flame red hair, face of a model, and cheerleader… typical. That would never be me. I would never be the girl who deserved to stand next to Edward. It was clear to me now. I would always be the plain, brown-haired girl he met in 3rd grade, nothing more.

This realization hit me and it felt like the wind had been knocked out of me. Tears sprang to my eyes and I made my decision: I was going to Chicago, by myself, to attend college, not in Seattle with Alice, Emmett, and Edward.

Two weeks of avoiding Edward and the day was finally here. I packed my tiny car full of my belongings that would accompany me to my dorm, and I headed over to the Cullen's house, the place that had basically been my home for my entire high school career. I felt a lump in my throat as I thought about what I was about to do.

No one, not even Alice, knew about my move to Chicago. She was probably going to hate me. But I couldn't stand the thought of being around Edward and watching him fall in love with another girl in college. I couldn't handle it, not after everything I'd been through.

Making my way through the house, I said my goodbyes to a tearful Esme and a saddened Carlisle. Everyone else was sleeping but there was one person I was not leaving without telling goodbye to: Alice. No matter what my problems with Edward were, she deserved an explanation for my sudden departure.

After a tearful, long hug from Alice, and after promising to call her at least three times a week, I was finally on my way to start life on my own.

I did not wake Edward to say goodbye. I did not leave a note explaining to one of the most important people in my life why I couldn't bear to face him. I did not say a thing to him as I walked out the door towards a new Bella.

I didn't look back.

After that day, I had thrown myself into my school work. I had worked my ass off and gotten my degree. A year and a half later and I landed myself a job at one of the best book publishers in Chicago: JPI. I met James shortly after landing the job at JPI. We had been together for over two years. At first, he seemed like the perfect guy: smart, successful, good-looking, and friendly. Sure, when we first started dating, he seemed a little possessive, but at the time, I found it cute, thinking that he cared about me. But a year later, and the abuse began.

When it first started, he was instantly remorseful after he laid a hand on me, telling me that he loved me and that he was sorry and that it would never happen again. I believed it every single time.

From then on, my life began to spin out of control. The abuse became more frequent and much, much worse. Broken bones, stitches, sprained ankles, and countless bruises were now a constant in my life. Physically, he had broken me countless times, and emotionally, I had been broken a long time ago. He threatened me each and every time, promising me that if I ever told a soul about what went on, it would be the end of me.

James always made good on his promises.

so, chapter one. im just starting to get the hang of this whole thing. tell me what you think.

review! please?

- izzie ;]