-1Donkey Kong
DK followed his nose to the dark, evil room, and lo! There were bananas in the middle of the stage! DK Hurriedly stuffed the bananas in his mouth.
Know your stars, know your stars, know your stars…
DK kept eating as if he didn't hear him/her/it/pickles.
Uh, hello? Evil voice here!…
DK stopped and looked at his bananas.
DK: OMG! My bananas are talking to me!…Cool! Now I can finally ask them how they taste so good! So, banana, how do you taste SO good?
Bananas: Well, have you ever heard the phrase, "don't eat the yellow snow"?
DK: Yes.
Bananas: Well, in this case, you do.
DK: …………Of course!
HELLO! I'M TALKING TO YOU, YOU STUPID APE!…
DK: Yes?
Finally!…DK, he hates Bananas…(thanks to Starfighter364)
DK: You ass-hole! I love Bananas!
Do you even know what ass-hole means?
DK: Of course I do! They're the holes that are made by shooting stars!
…Those are craters…
DK: Huh-uh! They're ass-holes!
…That's a scary thought…DK, he raped Dixie Kong…
Dixie Kong: He did? Oh. You horny bastard!
DK: Yes?
Dixie walked up and slapped him in the face.
DK: …This is why bananas are better than women. Isn't that right my little curved cuties?
…yeah…DK, he wishes Diddy Kong was never born…(again, thanks to Starfighter364)
Diddy: You sick pussy!
DK: Yeah? Well if you weren't around, I could have that much more bananas!
Diddy: That's it, cock rinse! Your dead!
Diddy then started to beat the shit out of DK.
Now you Know, DK, the banana hating Dixie rapper who wishes Diddy was never born…man, I love this job…
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