The Watch were clustered around the fireplace, with the exception of Detritus who was being used as a draught excluder and was sat with his back wedged against the door. The fire was unlit due to Reg almost having hysterics at the thought of being in a the same room as a fire. Also anyone trying to gather firewood in that forest would have to be prepared to become a source of major deforestation by removing just a few twigs.

'What do we do now, sir?' Colon was getting lippy. He was already sick of the country and longing for the cobbles of home.

'We learn to be a team. Vetinari told me we were being sent to a 'management camp' and this appears to be it.'

'How long do we have to stay here before we can catch a coach home?'

'There aren't any coaches home Fred. The one that took us here was especially arranged.

Hope danced a brief jig on Fred Colon's face. 'And a specially arranged return coach is due to arrive...'

'Never.' After Vimes said this Colon looked as though he might dissolve into tears. Actually given Colon's portly figure and red complexion erupt into tears might be a accurate description.

Visit tried to look on the bright side, and in doing so cast the others deeper into the darkness of despair. 'I've got plenty of pamphlets, so at least we all have something to read.'

Angua wondered if it would be demeaning to provide a real-life variant of 'the dog ate my homework'. In this case it would be 'the wolf ate my Omnian pamphlets and then destroyed the only available printing press'. On the whole she decided that it lacked dignity and she would only do it in an emergency, such as if anyone but Dorfl attempted to read one of them.

Nobby was glaring at everyone. 'You all complain about being bored and when I offer to entertain you with some of the stuff I learnt in Klatch-'

'Stop right dere Corporal.' Detritus could interrupt like no one else. It was something to do with being like a small avalanche.

'Thank you Detritus.' Nobby sniffed. 'Who told him to say that anyway?'

Vimes didn't even try to look innocent. 'Nobby we are doing this for the greater good. If you carry on I'm afraid you may inadvertently commit suicide. Stop now and we might let you live.'

'What in this stupid cottage with a neurotic Colon, a devout Visit and a Reg that can't keep himself together at the best of times. Not to mention-'

At this point Dorfl's massive palm descended on Nobby's mouth and his words devolved to small muffled noises. 'I'm Sorry But I Must Prevent Harm From Coming To Human...oids. There Was Considerable Risk Of Nobby Incurring Wrath That Would Convey Itself Through The Medium Of Violence.'

Vimes was bored. He needed something to get angry about, and this looked promising. 'So what was he going to say?'

Dorfl frowned. 'Something Unflattering About An Apoplectic Vimes, Sir.'

Nobby made some particularly frantic noises. Dorfl, mistaking them for signs of asphyxiation let go.

'AND crazy golems. What about my right to free speech?'

Dorfl shrugged.

'Safety Comes Before Even That. When Mister Vimes Is Involved, At Least.'

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