Here we go again with the cruel Nobby and Reg jokes-anyone interested should probably check out my Nobby/Reg romance (kind of) 'Glad to be Grey or Miserable to be Miscellaneous'. As far as I know it is the first fic to be devoted to that pairing, probably for a GOOD reason. Sorry for the length of time between updates-exams and writer's block again.

Angua was forced to admit that, despite having enjoyed the benefits of city life, she was not the one for whom they held the most importance.

Sergeant Fred Colon was not coping at all well with the...

'Woods. You can't trust them. All them trees out there, when they should be on the fire in here.'

Angua shook her head. Turning to Vimes she asked, 'do you really think he's alright sir?'

Vimes shrugged. 'If he's not he'll soon get better.'

Angua gave him a confused look. 'And how will he get better?'

'He can't get worse.'

Angua kept her scepticism to herself on that particular point. Reg and Nobby had ventured out several hours ago to collect wood, but had recently returned claiming that the woods were structurally unsound enough without removing anything. Dorfl had, in his patient and naive golem way pointed out that finding that out could not have taken hours, after which an awkward silence had prevailed upon the group whilst they considered exactly what Nobby and Reg had been doing in the woods. And then Colon had started gibbering about setting fire to the surroundings. And Vimes had looked tempted by the scenario.

Carrot tried to lighten the mood. 'Why don't we all do something worthwhile and-'

'No.' Vimes growled the word as though it had committed a rather large and exceedingly interesting crime.

'But...'

'No. I'm Commander here and I decide what we do. We are going back to the city, whether Vetinari likes it or not. This is ridiculous. And if anyone complains we'll say it was for the sake of Fred's mental health, which has never before been worse than his physical fitness. So we are leaving.'

With that the Watch abandoned the cottage. Even Visit didn't complain. In a fit of cabin-fever Angua had, after asking Vimes, of course, buried his pamphlets. The Watch, upon leaving, found a long walk across the plains awaited them if they didn't get resourceful.

Nobby was the only one who volunteered any helpful suggestions. 'Should we hitchhike?'

Vimes blew a smoke ring. 'No...we'll just arrange for someone else to be hitchhiking with us.'

Dorfl chose this moment to state the obvious but currently ignored. 'We Would Need To Get To The Road First As We Are Currently In The Middle Of The Woods And Far From Any Coaches That We Could Beg Free Passage From.'

'That was a...pertinent remark, Dorfl.'

'Thank You.'

Vimes glared at the wood as though he were considering burning it down. Indeed, he was biting down on his cigar as though resisting the urge to throw it into the undergrowth. 'Into the woods we go, then. To find the exit.'