A/N My sincerest apologies for the lateness of this update. Varsity ran away with me completely, and, while I managed to write most of this in my Chemistry lectures, I haven't been able to find time to type it out and post it until now.
To JaysEmm, ayesha-s, Famous4it, bbandgsr, Haldir's Heart and Soul (awesome name!) and Dr. Temperance Brennan: thank you so so so so so much for the reviews! They mean the world to me. You guys are the reason this chapter is up!
I hope you enjoy it. This chapter is something of a refractory period actually, but things will hot up again soon. Thank you for actually bothering to read this story!
C: 4Rain poured down on the umbrellas of the two figures standing in front of Las Vegas Desert Palms Hospital. It had developed into a stormy day, and the rain beat down with such force, that it was as if the sky itself was crying. Clad both in black, the two figures were engaged in a conversation befitting their grim attire.
"Three CSIs in hospital, Gil? What the hell happened?" Carvallo demanded. "I thought you had things under control."
"I can understand your position Robert, trust me. That's my team in there." Grissom's voice was forcibly calm but pain and guilt burned in his eyes.
Carvallo took a deep breath, calming his anger and looked Grissom in the eye. "What happened Gil?" he asked, his voice softer.
Grissom took a deep breath and began to explain, "Catherine and Nick were working a case with me. We found a man hanged in the Forberg Nature Reserve. It all seemed pretty obvious until Doctor Robbins found COD to be exsanguination. If the victim bled out elsewhere, not at the Reserve, we would need to find another crime scene. I sent Nick and Catherine to the Reserve to collect a soil sample so we could test it for blood."
"Without a police escort?"
"No. PD was tapped out and the evidence was particularly time-sensitive so we needed to get it as soon as possible. Especially with this rain on the way."
Carvallo sighed, "I hear your argument, Gil, but they should have waited for a uniform."
"And risked having our evidence not stand up in court? Risked letting a hangman walk?" Grissom retorted.
His argument seemed to penetrate and the director was silent for a few moments. "Okay. I get what you're saying – but I still consider it bad judgement. For now though, how are Nick and Catherine doing?"
Grissom cast a look up at the tall hospital building then answered, "Catherine has a bruised rib from the bullet's impact and a sprained wrist, along with some bruises and scratches, but the doctors are saying that she can go home tonight as long as she gets rest."
"And Nick?"
Grissom gave a heavy sigh. "He fractured his tibia and dislocated his shoulder during the fall. Luckily, the bullet just left a bruise – no damaged ribs there. The doctors want to keep him overnight at the absolute least, to make sure he doesn't have a concussion."
Carvallo nodded grimly, keeping his eyes on the ground for a few moments as he took in and processed what he had just been told. Then he cast his eyes back up to Grissom, who for the first time in ages was looking positively haggard and asked, "And Sidle? What happened to her? I've heard many good things about her, and also a few bad. I noticed that she was suspended not too long ago and that Ecklie recommended you fire her."
Renewed guilt appeared in Grissom's eyes as he opened his mouth to speak. "Sara went through a number of taxing experiences around the time of her suspension. I worked through them with her and the matter was fully resolved. I didn't see the need to loose an incisive CSI because of a minor lab disagreement."
"I hear she's not in good condition now – and that it might just be you who saved her life. What happened there?" Carvallo gave Grissom a serious look.
Grissom's heart began to race as he recalled walking into Sara's bedroom and finding her sprawled on the floor, remembered the way she whined, delirious, in the ambulance on the way to the hospital. In his mind, he saw the two white blisters, not unlike a vampire bite that slowly sucked her life away. He took a deep breath and managed to keep his voice steady as he explained:
"I have reason to believe that Sara was bitten twice by a Brown Recluse spider, a particularly poisonous species." He fixed his eyes down on the ground before continuing. "A colleague of mine sent me one today to keep as part of my collection. It seems that it escaped and somehow bit her."
"Wouldn't she have felt it?"
"No, that's part of the danger of a Brown Recluse. Most people only begin to feel the bite after the venom has had time to do serious damage to the body."
Carvallo kept his expression neutral and nodded, "Wouldn't she have discovered the bites on her own when she started to feel the effects? How did you find her in time?"
"Some of the initial symptoms of the bite are fever, nausea, dizziness and shock. I found Sara when Greg and I went to her apartment on the way over here. We couldn't contact her so we decided to check if she was okay. She was unconscious and feverish, and neither Greg nor I could wake her. My guess is that the bites caused her to pass out and she hit her head on the way down. We have no idea how long she was out for before we found her." Grissom explained.
"And now? What are the doctor's saying?"
"She's still in the ER. I'm going up there as soon as we're done here," Grissom said, casting another glance at the entrance. Inside, he was wracking his brains to try to remember what the last thing he'd said to Sara had been. The paramedics who'd picked her up had been almost sure that she had fallen into some type of coma and Grissom remembered them being agonisingly vague as to the likelihood of a full recovery. If he was going to lose Sara, he wanted to be sure that the last thing he'd said to her – at least – hadn't been as carelessly hurtful or insensitive as many of his previous goodbyes. But he couldn't remember what he'd said, or what she might have said back. All he could hear was his own voice, repeating Sara's name over and over in his head, and her pained, restless whines as she'd lain in his arms only an hour before. Why it was her dominating his thoughts, he did not know. Nick and Catherine were also injured – and that had also been his fault. Perhaps it was because he'd been looking forward to breakfast with Sara. Perhaps it was because he'd been particularly careless. But still, his mind reasoned, she's saturating my reality. Why is she the only thing I can focus on?
He thought about the words of the song that had been playing in her apartment when they'd found her. You're so jaded, and I'm the one that jaded you…and baby I'm afraid of you.
Sara had been tiring lately, that much was clear – her weariness had been showing more than ever. He remembered how lively and enthusiastic she had been when she'd first arrived in Vegas and wondered, Am I the cause of the deep sadness that I see in your eyes everyday? I always kept my distance, worried about where things would go if I let myself relax with you. In some sense, I am – was- afraid of you. Afraid that I'd fall in love with you all over again. I hurt you by staying away; hurt you by brushing you off to protect myself. And suddenly it hit Grissom like a tidal wave, clear as the morning sun on a winter morning. I thought you changed because of the grimness of our work. I thought it was your past resurfacing, but now I see it. Sara, was I the one that jaded you?
X
The ward had space for four beds. The one to the left of the door was vacant and the one that would have stood beside it, next to the window, was gone. The two beds on the right hand side of the room, however, were both occupied.
In the bed nearest the door Catherine Willows sighed irritably at the older woman standing at her bedside.
"I'm fine mom. It's just a bruise!" she looked over at the blonde teenager sitting cross-legged at the bottom of the bed and frowned. "Shouldn't you be at school Lindsay?"
"Nah," the pretty girl shook her head. "I wanna be here for you. It's not exactly every day that my mother gets shot so I'm sure they'll understand."
"Hmm," Catherine raised an eyebrow and tried to hide her smile. She held out her arms to her daughter for a hug and found herself wincing at the pressure it put on her ribs when Lindsay gladly bounced across the bed into her arms. But Catherine didn't really care. She was just happy to have Lindsay there and to know that they would be guaranteed a few work-free days to relax together.
On the next bed over, the one nearest the window on the right, Greg Sanders was staring up at the think white cast covering Nick Stokes's leg where it was held, suspended over his bed.
"Geez Nicky, you had us worried there for a while," Warrick said to Nick as he pulled up a chair and sat between the two beds.
Nick gave a wry smile, "Yeah, just can't seem to keep myself above ground."
For a moment, everyone in the room froze but Nick smiled and winked and they all relaxed. It had been a joke, devoid of any bitterness and fear and Greg let out a relieved chuckle. It was good to see Nick able to be light-hearted about what had happened to him. Although none of them would ever be able to warm the chill that Nick's abduction had put into their hearts, it was wonderful to see Nick moving on from it.
"So when can I get outta here?" Nick asked. He moved to sit up but the sling that his arm was in made pushing himself up difficult.
"Whoa! Easy there cowboy," Warrick sprang from his seat and pushed Nick back down. "You're not going anywhere yet."
"But you just said Catherine's going home today," Nick argued, looking over at the strawberry blond.
"Yeah, she is. But the doctors are keeping you here overnight for observation."
"And it's not like you're gonna get very far with one arm and one leg," Greg intoned.
Nick scowled and mumbled something inaudible.
"It's just one night Nick," Catherine said. "Use it to get some rest."
"Easy for you to say that," Nick gave her a deadpan look that dripped envy.
"And, no offence or anything," Lindsay said, looking between Catherine and Nick, "but neither of you is looking very good anyway." She pointed at the long scratches on Catherine's cheek then turned to Nick and said, "My mother's going straight into bed when she gets home anyway. So buck up. You're not missing anything and at least you're both alive."
Her words penetrated Nick's frustration and his face softened. "I guess you're right. Thanks Linds," he said with a small smile.
Lindsay nodded with satisfaction. "So…when do you guys get lunch? I'm starved."
X
Grissom was about to enter the CSIs' ward when a tap on his shoulder stopped him. He turned to find a man in his mid-thirties with sandy blonde hair and deep brown eyes. He was a few centimetres taller that Grissom and his white lab coat covered what was obviously a well-toned body. Grissom guessed him to be the staff doctor and wasn't disappointed.
"Dr. Grissom?" he asked, holding out his hand. Grissom shook it and nodded.
"I'm Dr. Philip Morgan. I've been treating Sara Sidle. I noticed that you're her emergency contact here in Nevada."
"Yes. I'm her supervisor and…a friend. How is she?" Grissom turned his full attention to the man.
"She's doing a lot better so we'll be bringing her through to the ward in a few minutes."
Grissom gave an audible sigh of relief and uttered a soft "Thank God".
"But," Dr Morgan continued, "We're going to have to keep a very close watch on her. I was concerned that she might have slipped into a coma, as is possible with these kinds of bites because of the induced immune response, but she woke up while we were examining her. She was feverish, and very confused, didn't really seem to understand what was happening. We gave her a mild sedative and something to bring the fever down so it looks as if she'll be just fine."
"And the bites will heal?" Grissom frowned.
"Well, it would help if you could possibly bring in the spider that bit her, but I understand why that might be difficult. We've put Miss Sidle on a course of cortisone-based hormones to combat haemolysis and we're hoping that the cold pack applied by the paramedics will slow down necrosis by the venom's enzymes." Morgan explained.
"So she'll make a full recovery?" Grissom asked.
"Theoretically, yes. It's going to take some time for her immune system to re-stabilize itself and for her body to overcome the venom's effects. With the proper medical care, survival past 48 hours usually precedes a full recovery."
"So she's not out of the woods yet?" Grissom's frown deepened and a fresh twist of guilt writhed in his gut.
"No, but she's a strong woman. Hell, it took three orderlies to sedate her when she woke up, so I think she's going to be fine. She should be feeling better by this evening," Morgan finished with a slight smile.
"So when can I take her home? She really hates hospitals." In Grissom's mind, there was absolutely no question of him being the one to take her home. After all, this was his fault and he saw this as an opportunity to make it up to her – all of it.
"She's going to be here for the next 48 hours at least. Those bites were dangerously close to the jugular so we want her here. Beyond that, however, as soon as everything checks out, she's free to go." Then he quickly added, "But she's going to be weak so she shouldn't be working for at least a week."
Grissom smiled, "Don't worry about that Doctor. I'll see that she gets rest."
"Very good. I'll see you when we bring her through in a few minutes then. I arranged a private ward for the Crime Lab. I hope it's working out for you," Morgan added.
"Yes, it was very kind of you. Thanks," Grissom said.
"Great!" Morgan shook his hand and left in the direction of the ER.
Grissom watched him go and gave a heavy sigh. It was a small consolation that Sara would be all right and he felt some of the weight lifting from his shoulders. He chuckled. Of course she would be all right. She was Sara, after all – she never stopped fighting. For the second time that day, he thought, That's my girl, and smiled.
Grissom entered the ward to find Catherine sitting up in bed and sharing a bowl of red Jell-O with Lindsay, who lay beside her against the pillows. He was filled with warmth at the sight and smiled, delighted to see his friend so happy with her daughter. Lindsay had given Catherine many sleepless nights so it was nice to see them getting on so well. Warrick was hovering next to the bed, holding out at box of juice, which Catherine accepted with a 'thanks' and a wink. Grissom smirked to himself. She was still convinced that he hadn't yet noticed how she and Warrick looked at each other.
"Hey Gris," Nick's Texan voice called from the next bed. A strong pang of guilt hit Grissom when his eyes fell upon Nick's bandaged leg and injured shoulder. Greg was seated beside him, looking tired but content.
"How're you guys feeling?" Grissom asked.
"Much better," Nick said warmly.
Catherine shrugged, "Can't complain more than I already have."
"I...uh…owe you both an apology." Grissom started. "It's my fault that you're here. I'm the one-"
"Gil," Catherine spotted where he was headed and immediately interrupted him. "It wasn't your fault. You couldn't have known that that was going to happen."
"Yeah," Nick nodded in agreement.
Grissom shook his head, "I shouldn't have let you go without a uniform."
"We go back to crime scenes all the time without guards," Nick said. He paused, his eyes momentarily contemplative, then added in a soft voice, "And even when we do take them with, shit still happens sometimes."
Catherine nodded, "And with the way that guy was shooting, I doubt an extra body would have been anything more than an extra target. So don't beat yourself up about it, okay?" She winced and reached over to squeeze his hand.
The room was silent for a few moments. Catherine was the only member of the team who had ever seen Grissom this low and the others were having a difficult time figuring out how to react. Grissom moved first, gently squeezing back and shaking his head. He squeezed his eyes closed for a few seconds and blinked when he opened them again.
"At least tell me we're gonna nail the guy," Nick said quickly, pulling everyone's focus to a new topic.
Grissom seemed visibly relieved that their attention had moved from him and quickly snapped back into work mode. "Days collected all the evidence and Brass is in with the guy now."
"Did they get it before this rain started?" Warrick asked, casting a concerned look out the window at the bitter weather outside.
"I think so. Ecklie made it top priority."
"As the evidence should always be," Greg said, nodding.
Grissom winced and drew a sharp breath. "Most of the time Greg, yes. But not all the time. I've realised that people are just as important and, from now on, you guys come first, understand?"
They all nodded slowly, wondering what had gotten into their work-obsessed boss.
"So…you're always gonna be taking our side from now on?" Nick asked, raising an eyebrow. Grissom immediately caught a dubious mischief in the Texan's eyes and cast him a suspicious look.
"Mostly, why?" He asked apprehensively.
"'Cause that would mean that you'll help me convince the doctors to let me go home tonight," Nick said.
Around the room, chuckles and snorts burst forth and Grissom raised an eyebrow at Nick.
"I think it's in your best interest to stay here for the night Nicky. I'm putting your health first," Grissom said with a wink and a sneaky smile at Catherine. The smile faded quickly however, when he added, "Besides, you're not going to be alone in here."
Greg immediately sat up and asked, "Is Sara out of the ER yet?"
"What? The ER?!" Nick fairly yelped.
"What happened to her?" Catherine asked, eyes wide with shock.
Grissom put up his hands to calm them down before explaining. "You guys were still out of it when we brought her in. When we found out what had happened to you, we headed straight out to the Reserve but I couldn't get hold of Sara. So, after we found Nick and were ready to head over here, Greg and I stopped at her apartment to make sure she was okay."
"She ran out of our autopsy at the end of shift," Greg elaborated, "Said she wasn't feeling well."
"And?" Lindsay asked, leaning forward and frowning. "Was she there?"
Grissom nodded. "She was unconscious and she'd hit her head."
"What had happened to her? How did she hit her head?" Nick asked.
Grissom swallowed uncomfortably before continuing. "She was bitten by my Brown Recluse spider. Twice. It must have happened sometime during shift because the symptoms take at least two hours to manifest themselves."
"Brown Recluse?" Nick asked. "I remember those. We used to get them in our house in Texas during the winter. Damn dangerous things. Six-year-old kid down the street died from a bite a couple years back. You know those things are more poisonous than rattlesnakes?"
Silent horror descended on the room and Catherine turned to Grissom, her face white, "So is Sara okay?"
His voice grim, Grissom replied, "The doctors say she's going to be okay. Brown Recluse venom is a collection of enzymes that causes the destruction of cell membranes and leads to the breakdown of skin, fat and blood vessels around the bite. It also forces the immune system to release histamines, cytokines and interleukins which can lead to haemolysis, renal failure – even coma."
"Gris," Greg's voice was low. "We couldn't wake Sara. She isn't…?"
"No Greg. Sara's not in a coma. But she's not in good condition either." Grissom answered.
Greg sighed with relief. "Will she be okay?"
"They say so," Grissom nodded.
"Wow." Warrick took a deep breath. "Some day, huh?"
The doors to the ward opened and Dr. Morgan came in, followed by two orderlies pushing a bed. A grim hush descended on the room and all eyes went to the lean form on the bed.
Sara's face was flushed and she was taking short breaths. The hair around her face was wet with sweat and she lay with her torso raised and her head slightly to the side. What appeared to be a fresh cold pack was fixed in place over the bites. She looked fragile and weak - a sight that none of the team had yet beheld. For Grissom, it was torture, knowing that he was responsible. Jesus Sara, I've jaded you and now I've broken you. And as usual, it was all a result of my carelessness, my apathy – all unintended, and all unforgivable.
A/N So please please please please pretty please send me a review. I could really use some encouragement right now. I've got two days before I have to be back at varsity but I might be able to squeeze in another chapter before I go :)