-19-Volt
9-Volt entered the know your stars studio. As he was walking up to the stage, he stepped on something that looked like someone's unmentionables.
9-Volts: …Eww…
Know your stars, know your stars, know your stars…
9-Volt: OMG! Who are you, I'm 9-Volt, every one calls me that because my mom says I run on batteries but I don't know why she says that because I think I'm perfectly calm, are you perfectly calm, cause I think your perfectly calm with that faded voice like-
SHUT UP!…
9-Volt: …Well that was rude of you…So anyways you seem really really calm because your all like stating things so calmly like that so you must be really really calm.
…A burden has been placed upon me…9-Volt, he hates NES games…
9-Volt: What! I love NES games, almost as much as I love raping children, and this one guy says that I'm satin because of that so I took a shotgun and blew his brains out and raped his dead body but when I got home my mom asked why my cock was all bloody and I said because I raped a dead body so she like, calls these guys in white coats to come take me to this happy place and at first I was all exited because I was like, cool I get to go to a happy house, but when I got there it was all boring because they said it's not nice to rape people so I left.
……I need an asprin….9-Volt, he wets the bed…
9-Volt: Yeah and I was really bummed about for awhile but then I realized everyone makes mistakes, and mine was blowing that guys head off with a shot gun…I should have used a Weather bee because then his entire body would explode and that would be fun.
…I got it! 9-Volt, I paid him to tell me everyone's deepest darkest secrets so I could tell everyone about him…
Just then Mario, Luigi, Peach, Bowser, Bowser Jr., DK, Diddy, Toad, Yoshi, Daisy, E. Gadd, Mecha Bowser, Wario (now without his manhood), Bruce Lee, Chuck Norris, and Bitty the imaginary hippo who plays the keyboard and listens to techno music came out on the stage.
Mario: You ass hole!
Luigi: You humiliated us in front of everyone!
Peach: That's sucks!
Daisy: Hi! I'm Daisy!
Meanwhile…
In a galaxy far far away, Darth Vader was in the middle of a discussion aboard the infamous Death Star.
Imperial Officer: …But what if the Rebels fire at the core vent? The entire ship could blow up!
Darth Vader: (mechanic inhale) We have blocked off the vent and fortified our turrets. I guaranty nothing can destroy this ship. (mechanic exhale)
Just then, the Death Star blew up for seemingly no reason.
Luke Skywalker: Hey! I didn't blow up the vent yet!……I still get the metal, right?
Back at the studio…
Mecha Bowser: I say we should PWN him, dawg!
Everyone then started ripping 9-volt limb from limb.
Now you know, 9-Volt, the NES hating traitor who wets the bed…
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Hope you liked it! Up next is Waluigi. Please R&R!