Time flies! I'm doing my best to edit and post as much as I can. Some pieces are easier to get through as they require less fixes. I wrote a lot of the unpublished shorts when I was super sick, so the writing needs lots of cosmetic work sometimes, lol.
Elenimou brought up the fact that Playboy is more or less outdated/dead these days. I'm glad someone brought it up! I figured it'd be a good choice since the Burg is always described as being stuck in the past. Additionally, costume wise anything PB is always very popular. As for Chippendales, their dark history has been brought to light the past several years in the True Crime world. Thanks to the connection to one of Hugh's girls, the Chippendales were granted the green light to use the iconic bow tie look. The more you know;)
Some of you expected the twist of Stephanie not being the sexy bunny. For those that asked, yes, Hector's the bunny.
Will try to have the final chapter as soon as I can get through the edits.
Disclaimer: The Plum universe belongs to JE. Mistakes are my bad.
Mary Lou's POV
"Ooohh, ohhh, mmm." I whispered my moan against Stephanie's ear, watching as she immediately blushed a deep shade of red.
Her distinctive blue eyes widened before she gave me a discrete yet pointed look, silently indicating that the guys could hear. I rolled my eyes, because the men are busy getting ready. They're paying us no attention while we wait for Sally to apply the finishing touches on Hector, who looks fucking gorgeous I might add.
"Look at me." I ordered, taking the time to slowly rake my eyes over my BFF in great detail. "Just as I suspected." I said with my most serious tone.
"Wha-what?" Steph blushes profusely anytime sex or any variation of it is brought up in conversation, especially if it has to do with her.
"You got some." I stated bluntly, smiling wide.
"Uhm…" Steph is really quick witted, and can fib with the best of them. Yet, she's never been able to lie to me.
"No, uhms. It was all mmmm!" I giggled, patting her shoulder so that she could go get ready. In response, Steph gave me her patented eye roll. She knows I'm just playing. I'm happy for my friend. Ranger's a good fit for her and I think it's great that they finally got together, ignoring all the obstacles that had convinced them that being an official item was a bad idea. I've never seen her this happy.
"Mare…" Before she disappeared out of the conference room, my BFF made sure to catch my eye to remind me that she needed help zipping up part of her getup.
"I know." I told her I'd be in shortly. She's using the empty office at the end of the hall to get ready. I guess they keep it available for when other managing members from the additional branches come to Trenton for training. Hector scrubbed the cam feed and Ella made sure to leave the additional parts of Stephanie's costume stashed there earlier in the day.
"Hey!" From the corner of my eye I caught Lester trying to mess with one of the guy's hair. He's worse than my oldest, I swear! Good thing for my wicked peripheral vision. My boys have kept me on my toes for years. These men, although a lot stronger than my boys, are still childish at heart. Their mischievousness knows no bounds.
"What did I do?!" Lester whined, trying to act all innocent. Pfft!
I made an 'I'm watching you' gesture with my fingers, reminding the men we're on a tight time crunch.
"Stephanie isn't even ready yet!" Lester, of course, doesn't know when to stop.
"Her hair and makeup are done." I told the men I was going to go check on her and reminded them we were taking pictures before we left the building. As I walked out of the conference room, I heard a chorus of grumbling protests led by Lester.
I closed and locked the door behind me just in case prying eyes were watching in the hall.
"Damn! Put those guns away!" I joked as I approached, watching as Stephanie adjusted her black lace top fishnet tights. It's all one piece, giving the impression that she's wearing a garter belt with thigh highs.
My BFF looked up from her seated position, stopping before she reached for her black sparkly heels. "Guns?" Steph's confused look was adorable. I waited her out until it clicked. "Ah!" Her laugh was rich and loud as it sunk in. "Yup!" She flexed her arms, showing the upper arm definition she has going on these days.
"And the abs, Babe!" I whistled my appreciation, noting the slight peek I could see through the intricate lace pattern plaster to her abdomen. The midnight blue fabric was a great choice for her, making her eyes pop. I just know Ranger's going to go nuts. Steph looks absolutely gorgeous and he's the lucky one who'll be the recipient of this little sexy surprise once they're alone at the beach house tonight.
"Shut up and zip me." Steph threw back, smiling despite her best efforts. The training she's been religiously doing this past year definitely shows. She's really good at hiding her assets when she wants to, but also quite masterful at enhancing them when the desire strikes.
"Yes, Mommy." I couldn't help throwing one more even as I complied, zipping up the full back zipper of her bodysuit.
After she put on the red and black robe, which she purposely got on the looser spectrum so that there would be no hint of what she's wearing underneath thanks to the sufficient overlapping of the silky fabric, I used a handful of hair clips to give her captain's hat a more secure perch on her head. If we didn't opt to flat iron her curls, the hat may have been a struggle to keep in place.
"You look really good, Boo." I flashed her a smile as I had her do a spin for me, loving the sparkly heels and red lipstick to tie everything together. Even the gold necklace with the crown she's worn for the better part of two weeks fell at just the right place, just above the lapels of her robe. It's all just perfect!
"Your puns are on point today." Steph praised as we linked arms and exited into the hall. "You got the uhm stuff?" She whispered as we neared the conference room where all of the activity currently is.
"Yup." I assured that I got her request fulfilled and that I'd already stashed her order into her shoulder bag. She blew out a sigh of relief when I told her that the maker of said adult items is quite discreet. She's in one of the mommy groups I'm in and she's always an absolute angel.
"She's going to think you have a thing for Batman now." It was Steph's turn to joke as we crossed the doorway. "Oh, no." She groaned when she caught sight of what was playing on the flat screen in the room.
"Hello!" A young woman on the screen greeted with an energy that I envy most days. "My name is Stephanie and today I'm here with…"
The camera on screen panned to my BFF, who gave her best finger wave to the camera. "Hi. I'm also Stephanie."
A local college student from Trenton has this online show. A podcast I think is what it's called. Anyhow, she's got a wide range of topics covered. She reached out to my BFF and asked to interview her. Honestly, I'm surprised Stephanie even said yes.
The result? A very interesting interview. It was a pretty respectful approach, which was refreshing for Steph I bet. But of course, in true Stephanie Plum fashion the session resulted in a controversial Burg grapevine run. Why? Well, for two reasons that are about to play on screen in a few moments.
"What's one piece of advice you'd give given everything you've seen during your time as a Bounty Hunter?" Stephanie, the interviewer, asked Stephanie, my BFF.
Steph was super honest, bringing up the fact that a lot of people do the most instead of separating. They'll resort to murder or attempted murder before signing divorce papers. Yikes! "Get a divorce. It'll suck and you'll go through some shit… wait, can I cuss?" My BFF's grimace was a slight detour from the poignant message she shared. The other Stephanie said she'd bleep it out and urged Steph to continue. "…you'll go through some crappy moments, sure, but you'll be free." Steph mentioned that there's resources that are available for anyone that's undergoing harsh times, including some taboo subjects that no one likes to talk about in the Burg. The divorce announcement from a Burg resident shortly after the podcast episode aired further fueled the fire, but honestly it was a long time coming for the Cusumanos.
"She in fact did not bleep it out." Steph told the room as we watched the clip on screen.
"The ending's my favorite." Lester's smile bordered on suggestive. "There'll be some new thrist traps added about you after today, Beautiful."
Stephanie groaned beside me. Loudly.
To end the interview segment, Host Stephanie asked Steph if she'd seen the viral video from the summer. Steph being Steph, said she didn't know which video Host Stephanie was referring to. It was a genius deflection that totally read as real. See, anyone else would have automatically known which video the question was referring to. Steph? No, because she's been in the public eye for a long, long time. She's gotten used to ignoring certain things to be able to live through the day to day, especially the nasty times when she's been slandered left and right by the Burg. The video in question was an edit someone made about her latest SUV going up in flames. Her FTA threw a Molotov cocktail at her vehicle so she wouldn't pursue him when he tried to flee from his property in his beat up truck. The idiot slammed against a fire hydrant just a hundred feet from his residence, extinguishing the fire quickly. Since he was too stunned from the crash, Steph apprehended him without issues. Because it was a scorching summer day, she was in jean shorts and a tank top. Yes, she got wet from the spraying water gushing out of the hydrant. Even though you couldn't see any details, her top was plastered to her torso. Let's just say her girls were looking a little more prominent than usual, which sparked a whole can of worms. The comments on that video were pretty much all insinuating that Steph could cuff them anytime. In the end, Steph looked directly at the camera after watching said video and told the viewers that she had not seen it previously. My BFF skirted around the whole 'reaction' part of that segment, blatantly ignoring the sexual undertones. She did great. And, Steph's very likely not going to do any other guest appearances for a long while. Possibly ever.
"Santos." Ranger barked, giving Lester quite a glare for his thirst trap comment.
"Nah. I don't think anyone's going to be paying me any attention today. Stephanie who?" With a wide grin, Steph returned the playful torment on the men. "The next viral video will be about you guys." That thought had most of the Rangemen visually gulping.
"I don't think we really thought this one through." One of the men muttered behind Lester.
"Let's get this over with. We're gonna freeze our balls off, but it'll be so worth it!" Lester grimaced before Ranger could give him another verbal warning. "Sorry, ladies." He apologized automatically.
Steph, Ella and I shared a look before we burst out laughing. I think we've all heard way worse than that throughout the years.
"Alright, let's get a group photo before we start heading out." I announced, returning us back to our schedule.
By the time we all loaded up into the various Rangeman SUVs, we'd be arriving at Tasty Pastry with just enough time to spare a quick costume touch up. I rode with Ranger and Stephanie and let's just say these two have mega crackling electricity despite their little quickie earlier. I don't even know how they fought their need to be with each other for so long. They're way stronger than I am, I'll give them that.
Ranger scoped the area before our turn, keeping our Ace nearly hidden.
"Breathe." I told Steph, who looked like she may be rethinking this whole thing.
"I just got a little nauseated is all." She tried to deflect, reaching for her water bottle in the cup holder and taking a healthy gulp.
My eyebrows rose in shock, but my BFF missed it. Before I could grill her on these possible new developments, it was show time.
I lagged behind the group, shaking my head when I spotted none other than Morelli making a beeline for Hector. Of course the idiot confused him with Steph. I mean, Stephanie did an absolutely phenomenal job getting his naturally wavy hair into curls that were a really nice replica of her distinctive ones. I remember a few years back Hector, who was one of the easier guys for me to remember because of his face tattoos, had a shaved head. Steph told me he let his hair grow out starting last year, which is what gave me the idea of making him a bunny. He's muscled just like the other men, but in a more lean way. Guess the more unassuming build works for him. Plus, he's totally rocking the sexy costume and high heels.
Morelli roughly yanking on Hector's shoulder would have had his hand missing from his wrist in another circumstance. In fact, Hector may just be keeping a mental note of the audacious infraction to enact future payback by the way his dark eyes are boring into Morelli's clueless ones. Morelli's current problems will seem like a walk in the park compared to what's to come for his audacity.
"Excuse me." Steph came up from behind, taping Morelli's side. The shock must have worn off with the touch, because Morelli quickly released Hector.
"Show time!" Hector announced, his eyes twinkling darkly. Oh yeah, Morelli's on his list for sure. If Joe was able to yank Hector back, that means he was quite rough with his manhandling. A move that was aimed at Steph no less. That's a big no no.
"Our turn, Estefania." Hector linked arms with Steph and the two were practically swallowed by a wall of shirtless Range-chips. Chippenrangers? Nevermind, I'll work on the name.
"Spectators go over there." I shooed Morelli away to provide an extra barrier of protection for my BFF. The hairs on the back of my neck stood on end when I felt someone sidle up next to me. I didn't have to turn to know it was Ranger and he was here to make sure Morelli didn't get close to Steph again. "This year's trophy is ours!" I declared triumphantly so that Morelli could get the message loud and clear that he wasn't welcomed in our vicinity.
As soon as Morelli moved towards the crowd to get a better look of the action, I felt Ranger move deeper into the crowd as well. He's going to make sure Morelli keeps his distance.
The music was bumping, the Rangeguys were doing a super suggestive hip swiveling dance as they flexed all the muscles they've religiously worked for, captivating the audience. Everyone was entranced, which was a huge win. I saw some glazed over looks from many of the Burg housewives and even from a few Burg husbands.
Halfway through their number, a set of strong arms wrapped around my waist from behind. I knew it was my husband without having to turn away from the show. I just knew.
"Just came to say hi." My guy whispered in my ear before telling me that he and my dad would take the kids trick-o-treating after they got their baskets from Rangeman. "Enjoy the show, baby. You all deserve this win." Lenny knows how much we've busted our asses off these past weeks and fully supports our FU to the Burg's outdated ideals. "See you at home." He punctuated his parting with a quick kiss behind my left ear and a fleeting rub of my belly.
I caught the smug look from Shannon Stescobich. I ignored her for all of about two seconds. So what if everyone finds out Lenny and I are expecting another child? To drive my point home that I don't give a shit what she thinks, I gave her my best Burg glare. Shannon averted her gaze quickly, returning her attention to the show. I know that because of this the news will be circling through the grapevine sooner than I'd anticipated. I honestly wanted to enjoy this privately with my loved ones for a while before sharing the news publicly. I thought I'd have at least until I started showing before the news broke. Guess not.
I'm going to have to watch the video coverage of the event because I missed precious moments with the interruption. Ugh. Luckily, Hector set up cams for us to get different angle views. I'm sure he'll compile and edit everything to make it one cohesive production.
The crowd sucked in a breath, followed by murmured whispers when Hector strutted out from behind Tank. Ha! The reveal was epic. They too think Steph's dressed as the sexy Playboy Bunny. I smiled wide, waiting for the Burg's reaction.
"Oh my!" Amelia Storck gasped when Stephanie stepped out from behind Cal and Hal. My BFF made sure to level a pointed look at the audience, her eyes a vibrant shade of blue.
I clapped my hands enthusiastically, because the reactions were just as we predicted. Everyone was shocked!
The choreographed dance Hector came up with continued, ending with Steph hoisted up Hal's shoulder on one end of the single file line formation and Hector perched on Cal's on the other end. It was a beautiful, jaw dropping sight.
When they were done with their spectacular number, Mrs. Picciolini asked the crowd to clap for the group before asking the judges to cast their vote.
I think we all collectively held our breaths while we waited for each judge to cast their vote.