-I don't own Gravitation. Wow! Chapter 10! Nothing else to say in intro.-
Chapter 10
I have three days to do this paper. So far I have a bunch of notes. I need to do this paper soon.
I stare at my notes. All I have typed on the screen before me.
-Love leads to heartbreak.
-Love distracts you from what you need to focus on.
-Love is confusing...
-Love makes you look like an idiot.
-Love sucks...
-Love makes you go insane.
-Love is a security blanket.
-Love makes you happy.
-Love is never having to say you're sorry.
-Love means you don't have to feel lonely anymore.
Nothing I can make of this. I can't write a paper on love.
I give up for tonight. I go do my other homework.
I wake up the next morning to my screaming alarm clock. I have only two days to do the paper now. I have no idea what I'm going to write on it.
Nakano-san is playing with his guitar as soon as I walk into the practice room. Today is the same as any day.
I don't feel like playing my keyboard today. I just sit on the couch and watch Nakano-san play and think what I am going to do on the paper.
Nakano-san knows I'm in the room. He doesn't stop playing. Shindo-san isn't here yet.
Any minute, Shindo-san is going to barge in either crying because he got into a fight with Eiri-san, or laughing because he just had sex with Eiri-san.
I much prefer him getting laid than getting in a fight, because we could actually get some work done.
I wonder what it would be like if I got some. Would I be laid back and relaxed? Would I have all this stress I'm having? Or would things be worse?
I don't want to know the answer any time soon. For me to actually have sex with someone, I'd have to be in love with them.
I look at Nakano-san. Would I? Would I do it with him? Am I that much in love with him I'll actually do it? Is he in love with me enough to want me?
Sometimes, love has nothing to do with lust. Hey, I got another one, but I can't use it on the paper.
Maybe he just wants me in that way and doesn't love me at all. It's possible.
I look at Nakano-san. He looks at me back. Is it lust in his eyes for me? Or is it really love?
"Nakano-san," I say to make him stop playing. He looks at me again. "Nakano-san," I say again, "What's the different between lust and loveā¦. For you?"
Nakano-san looks at me confused. Then he smiles and says, "Taking a new approach on the paper I see."
I blush and say, "Yes."
Nakano-san thinks for a minute. "Lust to me," he says, "Is wanting someone on just a sexual level. For a one night stand and nothing else." He looks at my eyes. "Love is wanting someone for everything. Their personality, their looks, them. Lust can be a part of love. If I really love someone, I'll have sex with them. But I'll do it for their pleasure and not my own."
I take out a piece of paper and pretend to write his wisdom down. I didn't really get an answer about how he looks at me. But I did get his view of lust vs. love.
I want to know what he thinks of me. I'm too afraid to ask him. I'll just wait until he wants to give me an answer.
If he wanted me as a one night stand would I do it? Everything would be awkward if we did and wanted nothing else from each other.
I want love from him. Love, as well as sex. I want him to love me, like I love him.
Love makes you want to be touched.
-There's chapter 10! I finally made a sort of long chapter. Please review this chapter if you liked it!-
