When Jared says "Stirred Breakfast" That means that he was asking Jake about taking a dump... Cuz he was late :]

Stupid Cupid

Chapter 5; Part 2

Jacob's Point of View

"What took you so long? Were you having a one-on-one conversation with your stirred breakfast?" Jared said when I entered the little food place's garden. "You're sweating so I guess you were keeping a low profile."

"No you retard. I was trying to look for Alice's car," I replied to Jared's dumbass. "Here Alice." I handed her Armani.

"Claire is having her fourth birthday next Saturday, guys. Emily told me that I could invite all of you guys over. Right Sam?" Quil said, nudging Sam on the shoulder.

"Yeah. The party will be over at my place," Sam said. "You guys better bring her presents this time. Not like last time that you guys only came for the food. All of you embarrassed Emily." He glared at all of us.

"It wasn't our fault, Sam. You were the one that invited us in the first place," Paul interjected.

"And of course… The Cullens weren't invited," Alice began. "I would've made little Claire's birthday the best. You guys need to invite us this time… You know what? I'm going to speak to Emily tonight. She'll let me plan her party."

"Allie, we were enemies back then. Will you make us cake?" Of course Paul—the retard—had to talk. When will there be a time when he doesn't put his big mouth over something. Why can't he be more like Seth; quiet and reserved.

"My name is Alice, Paul. Get that right, okay." Alice put little Armani on the floor. Dogs were such a handful, but she was so shy.

"We ordered after you left," Seth said. "We ordered three dozens of chicken wings, we all got our own order of fries and sodas—large—and we ordered four twenty-three inched pizzas. Mmm!"

All of us simultaneously looked up to Alice and Emmett. They had plans for them, I was sure. But I wasn't in on the tittle-tattle. I wouldn't ask either. Good thing Alice can't see any of our futures, I thought.

I stopped thinking about food for a second. I felt the card that had Liz's phone number burn a hole in my pockets. I felt like taking it out and going to the nearest phone-booth. I had my cell phone taken away two days ago for running up the bill on Billy again.

She's so cute and soft. She'd be like my own personal model. Heck, she does look like a model. Ooh, those nice pairs of legs! Her full lips and bluish eyes, I thought. My hands were sweating again; they felt watery and sticky.

"Watch out Jake!" Seth called, making me snap out of my reverie.

I turned around to face him and then smack! Something flew straight at my face. The rest of guys laughed. It felt squishy. It smelled like sauce too. Pizza, I thought.

I wiped it off from my face and then looked at it. "What the hell, guys! Alright, who did this?" I demanded. I turned to look at everyone. They all looked innocent, except Jared and Emmett. Those two had a wide grin stretched across their faces. The grin looked creepy on Emmett; his teeth were freaking sharp and disgusting. They were actually not disgusting, but I would sound gay if I said that his teeth were pretty. Ew!

"It was PAUL!" Emmett demanded. He was pointing straight to Paul.

"He's lying," Paul defended. "I was… trying to remember if I left my rubbers at your house. He smirked. "It was Emmett! I saw him!"

"Yeah, it was Emmett! I saw him too. He's the one that is trying to waste our pizza… It was him! Let's bring out or knives and pitchforks!" Jared stated.

I grabbed a napkin and wiped my face from the sauce. Mmm, the pizza already tastes da-lish, I though.

I wouldn't do anything right now. I'd wait till later to bring on my revenge—on everyone; except Alice. She's freak if I messed up her outfit.

"This was great," I said, after we were done eating our huge dinner. I slumped on my chair and pulled my hands behind my head.

From the corner of my eye, I saw Emmett dog-licking a slice of pizza. What the hell? I thought. He was actually touching it? I cleared my throat. "Emmett, I thought you said that you didn't like food. Why are you eating the slice?" I asked.

He looked up at me with big eyes. "What? It captures my taste buds when I add salt to it. I wasn't going to eat it. I was just licking it. Duuuuuuuuuur!" He then grabbed the almost-empty little glass container of salt and poured it all over the pizza slice.

"Emmett, that's sick," Seth said.

"Really sick," Sam butted in.

"I think we should get going. Jazz and I are going hunting, apparently," Alice said. She looked uncomfortable with all of us eating; even Emmett.

"Yeah, I think we should leave too," I coincided. "I'm going to take Lee a piece of pizza."

"I think it's time for you to confess that you have a crush on Lee-Lee," Quil blurted.

Son of a cross-dresser! "I don't like her, Quil. She's like my sister you retard," I assured.

"So, does that make me your brother?" Seth said, with his eyes sparkling.

"Sure, sure."

Sam, Quil and Embry started cleaning the mess that we left on the table. Paul, Jared, Seth, and Emmett slouched on their chairs. Alice, all of a sudden, stood up and walked around the table towards me.

"Jake, can I have a word with you?" she asked, with her high-soprano voice.

Weird. Why would Alice need to talk to me? Would it be something about my plans to have a food-fight with the guys? Nah, she couldn't see our future…but maybe she was getting good at it…? Hmm? "Um, yeah—sure—but I have to go order Leah a piece of pizza. Come. We'll talk on the way."

Sooooo, was it good? Sorry about the cliffie on what they were going to talk about.
But, i think it was un-important.
Thnks for reading.