Operation: Infiltrate Hogwarts

by Flamed-heart

Voldemort's failed attempts to infiltrate Hogwarts. Hookers and Transvestites, Barbie dolls and action figures, Burger King crowns, stolen Lemon Drops and more stupidity than you can shake a stick at...but why exactly do we shake sticks at stuff anyway?

13. Chapter 13

Failed Attempt #11

Voldemort once again, walked into the Great Hall. He swayed with drunkenness as he crossed the room in the direction of a sleepy Harry.

Lucius Malfoy tries in vain to drag his drunken leader from the hall. Voldemort pukes on Malfoy again.

"Is that the coca puffs I had for breakfast?"

Malfoy rushes from the hall, yelling about, "stupid dark lords and tequila."

Voldemort saunters up to Harry and takes a seat in Ron's lap. Voldemort smiled sloppily at Ron and turned to look Harry dead in the face.

"You know, Harry Potter," he said slurred and in between hiccups, "I respect you."

No sooner had Voldemort said this, he had fallen asleep in Ron's lap, breathing harshly into Ron's face.

Wormtail cowered his way to the Dark Lord.

"I'm really sorry about all this. He missed his last session with the psychiatrist and went into a binge again. He really is trying to turn his life around with all the rehab and psychiatrists visits."

Wormtail and another Death Eater carry Voldemort out of the Hall.